"Hey Kid's , what time is it?"

Ok , show me your age!!! If you know the answer to this one youare old as i am, (That's older than dirt!!)
Ok, so it's tuesday, my ass has been the subject of the "corporate grinder" for almost a week now. Out of 11, yup, count'em, 11 Associations I manage, three of then are having "shit fots" with the way I operate, (Duh! Let's talk about "enlightened"!!)
You be the judge, and I know you will factor in "common sense" here.
"Association #1 - "The Nazi's" - These folk's don't have a clue what my job is. They want six hour, monthly Board of Directors Meetings! If you can't run a community Association with less than a two hour meeting every three months,...well SHIT, you belong on Mars, sorting out the sheets for the first colonization ship to arrive!. These guys want me to be "the Sheriff" , writing tickets for leaving you trash can out after the allotted 12 hours, letting you front lawn get more than the prescribed 2" in height, not re-painting your house when THEY think you should. Hello, welcome to America and the rights of the individual. The strongest way of getting your neighbors to comply is simply walking up and knocking on their door and making you case, not sending them "violaton letters" and theatening $100 a day fines to the $1,000 State maximum!
"Association #2" - "The Hippies" - Essentially, "this place looks like shit, why haven't you put in new shrubs, more decorative flowers, painted the stairways, re-placed all the rotting deck boards,...etc. (ad Nauseum!)" I guess this one's the group i need permission to have a half dozen Guinness's before talking too! Let me see now if I can answer these questions, intelligently, succinctly, accurately, specifically, and correctly,...ready? Ok, here we go..."because you M**her F***ers are freaking broke,...no money to pay for it, ...shit out of Lira, Peso's, Rupee's or any other means of "trade exchange" known to the modern world! (And NO, I ain;t interested in the "Whimpy" currency philosophy, ("I'll gladly pay you Monday for a hamburger today.").
"Association #3 - "The Asshole" - "I don't care if the budget called for me to expend $75,000 and you only spent $63,000 because of your diligence and personal intervention to save me the $12,000. Who gave you that right? I'm firing you!!" (Nuff said, I acccept the fact that God screwed up and gave the Life Guard on the gene pool the month off!)
But I live to fight another day,...and may the force be with me!
Is it me, or is the entire world going to hell in the handbasket with a silly grin and an "It's not my fault" attitude?"

This is a cracker of a column, so to finish it off, and give the "young'un's" a chance at naming a winner to my "lyrics of the ages" contest, here you go;
Who sang this line, "Ground control to Major Tom!"

May the Guinness you drink be kind to you,
May your mates who "skull a pint" with you be blessed,
And may you wake up tomorrow with neither bogging you down,
causing you a headache, or thinking the "scored" while you slept.

(Ok, lame poem, but what the hell may we "cuddle" freely, love "mightily", and cherish each other forever!)

(Thank's Lucy, I never referred to it as "cuddling", but it worked for my wife and I for 40 years! And it's great fun as well, starts my day better than orange juice!)
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