Tuesday, September 25, 2007

God! The 25th already?

Time just has a way of whizzing by. On a number of occasions I've thought about time, in fact I really dwelt on it. Sometimes good,....sometimes not. For example let's look at time BAD. That's kind of like mowing the grass and the mower begins to look like it's maybe six inches wide, and the yard is growing from a 6' by 8' patch to a hundred acres! That's the example where you want time to fly, but alas it's an entirely new career istead.
Now Time GOOD, having a couple of pints, good conversation, laughing, joking, being a real part of "the spirit of life",....and BAM, you glance at your watch and it's already late evening and you wanted to be home early to relax for that big meeting first thing in the morning! That's where the clock is whizzing around like a cartoon and an hour seems like a minute!
Now there is the theory of the "life TIME". It's kind of like the good time,bad time thing as well. The only thing is that as you get older it's going in the right "GOOD TIME" direction, but your inner mind and spririt is screaming, "NO, NO, slow this thing down it's going to be over too fast, I want to enjoy it more!" But as a famous somebody once said I'm sure , "It ain't happenin' Jack!"
Maybe that's why old folks can just sit by the hour, and hour after hour, after hour, and be so amused at "the little things". Or perhaps why the young work so hard at multi-tasking and "crackberry" devices to suck in more in less time, ...becasue it's roaring by, out of control, daevil may care,...and in short, just complete chaos and mayhem.
Perhaps, I shall postulate, there is no "cross-over point", no point in life where you go from the spinning clock to the slow motion clock, or vice versa. Maybe the speed of youth simply is another "proof" of inertia, (A/K/A " a body in motion will tend to stay in motion") and perhaps aging is God's way of proving the other half of that "proof", (a body at rest will tend to stay at rest")
Now yesterday I had to solve our "health Insurance" dilemma. So I just picked up the mouse, googled "private health care plans" and ZAP! a screen asking me to fill in the blancks and get four responses in minutes. (God I love the internet! I've always been one to want to know the "ballpark" I'm playing in, and then I'll sniff out the particulars becasue It's a matter of more than the norm, in price, or less than the norm. So I hit the "enter" key, and bam! sixteen healthcare plans come up with links to the details of each, the prices of each, etc. As God is my judge I was looking over only the fifth one on the page and my phone rang!
"Hi, Mr. C******, this is Ron Zolone from Healthcare is us, I see you're looking for affordable yet good health insurance for you and you're wife. Is that correct?"
(DAMN!!! TALK ABOUT "BIG BROTHER" WATCHING) "ahhh, yeah, how did you know?"
"You're data came up on my screen and I hit the auto-dial and here we are."
"No Shit!!" (It's all I could say I was still in schock at how fast it happened!)
Long story short within ten minutes this guy has a perfect plan cranking for me, right benefits, right deductibles, right everything, from a nationally known company I probably never would have thought of looking up.
"And that includes all the office visits free, right, And the perscription deductible is only $15 for anything, no matter what? And it has a lifetime $5,000,000 limit, right? And it is only half of what I was paying through my employer, right?"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. Are there any other questions?"
" How do I sign up and how long before it's in effect?"
"I'm going to put you on hold then connect you with an Underwriter, they willask you a few questions and in fifteen minutes or so poof, you are insured in full from that moment on."
"What about paying for it. I thought you had to pay for it before you were covered?"
"No problem, I can take a credit card for your first month over the phone, or we can draft the first month premium right out of your checking account tonight and at midnight you're covered"
"No shit! Now I'm impressed! BUT, what if I find out someof this stuff you're saying it has and all is not true, and my claim is denied?"
"I'm giving you my name, my phone number, and a fourteen digit confirmation code, everything we've talked about has been recorded and will remain archived for six months, and at anytime during that period you find anything I said is not true, call the number, read the code number and you get the entire premium back from today until the end of the six months, and we have still paid for everything that happened inbetween! Sound good?"
"Bring on the underwriter!"
And the questions began. It was like having someone read an entire medical journal to you, at high speed,for example, "haveyoueverhadanyform orbrain tumor, diabetes,lackofsairtothe earsortherwise beenhospitalizedonthursdays orfridays? And so it went for about ten minutes. I adopted the "if I've never heard of it I probably ain't ever had it" reply. ("andinthemorningdoesyoureyeturngreenandyellow?" "Nope!") and on it went. Then she says, "ok can I speak with your wife and get her responses?" So I give the phone to the wife and go about my business. About fiveminutes later she comesin and hands me back the phone and says "They rejected us." "What!!" "Yup, they said I was two pounds overweight for the medication I'm taking." "You've got to be shitting me,....two POUNDS overweight, are you sure?
So I call this dude back and say what's up with this two pounds shit?
"Well we are very rigid about who we accept,that's why the mopnthly price is so low."
"Ok let's start again and I'll tell her shave the two pounds off when they ask her next time,..ok?"
"Sorry your phone number is logged as well as your names and dates of birth in our mega data base, it's there forever,...can't help you there, but forabout twice the price I might be able to get you another policy with another vendor,...how 'bout it?"
So Iwas left to my devices,...a story I'll fionish tomorrow, stay tuned!
-30-

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

So we got there!

After checking in we decided to do the "look around then eat" thing out at Downtown Disney. It has actually gotten better and I consider it a theme park, maybe it ought be called "Shopping Land" and have little American Express and Visa and Mastercard characters wandering around, like Mickey and Minnie in the other parks.
Now you gotta give old Walt a lot of credit. As a tourist we all know carrying "shit" around all day is not only a pain in the ass, but tends to bog you down, cause disputes "Will you carry this twenty piece dinnerware set for a while, my shoulder is numb.", soooo,....Disney has the answer. A whole bunch of little grmlins who will transport you "stuff" that you purchase, back to your hotel so it's there waiting for you and you can continue to shop til you drop! Like the Guinness commercial exclaims,"...Brilliant!"
Only one "gotta remember to get" on this trip, a white tee shirt with JUST Mickey Mouse on it for my buddy Carl. That should be a piece of cake right? WRONG! They had grey ones, pink ones, blue ones, tiedyed ones, thousand of tees with phrases, logos, themes, and every thing you could imagine. But a plain white tee with just Mickey? None to be had. (For those of you who know me the word "NO" is loosely translated in my mind to "Now you become an obsessive/compulsive in this matter". Well three days later I found a white tee shirt, with a full Mickey (sounds like a "full Monty" doesn't it?) on it, BUT it had a narrow blue band around the collar and the sleeves, but it qualified enough for me to make the purchase and release the first store clerk who said "they don't have any", from captivity tied to a support beam in Thunder Mountain!
My wife wanted to go to "Animal Kingdom", and while completely of the opposite desire, we went. Now I enjoy a zoo as much as anyone (OOOOH! Got a joke! What's the difference between a Zoo in New York City and one in Louisiana? .....give up? Ok, the one in Louisiana has cooking instructions under the metal signs with the latin names of the animals!) Apologies to anyone who was offended, but the ol' Cajun's from Louisiana will cook and eat anything! (A little filo, a little okra, some Tabasco,....damn that's a tasty critter, but watch out for them quills, I think they may be poisonous!)
You gotta be careful in Louisiana as a question like "Which do you prefer Democratic philosophy, or Republican Philosopy? "Shoooot, which one smokes up better?"
Ok, I've recovered and taken several of my politically correct pills.
Back to Disney World. We stayed in the Port Orleans section the last time we went and loved it. The rooms weree good, it was a compact little village of Jackson Square New Orleans type buildings with the wrought iron railings and tiny streets of cobblestones and had several swimming pools, a restaurant, and a little pool bar and was very shady to boot. We found that end of the day a dip in the pool for an hour wasjust what you needed to re-vitalize and get ready for the evening or a good noghts sleep, your choice. One of the really good deals was this coffee mug thing. You buy this plastic insulated covered coffee mug and all refills were free for your entire stay! Now it was $11.99, but at $2 for a cup of coffee, and my usual four a day,...well I beat the system big time.
The other reason we like Port Orleans is because it's got a river running through it, manmade of course, but they have these twenty foot barge type boats that go up and down transporting people between there and the Down Town Disney, or nightlife area. There's nothing like a cool roam down the river with a breeze to relax you for a good evening out. And at the end of the evening the boats will bring you back to within 50 yards of your hotel room. (A much desired outcome if you have a REALLLY GOOD night of fun!)
The other great thing is the kiddies all see to be put away in the evenings. For as many as are around the pools during the day, and in all the theme parks, they are totally absent at night. Maybe Disney gives parents complimentary quaeluddes for the kiddies ater supper! (Ok so the politically correct pills haven't kicked in yet,...sorry :( )
The big "marketing push" this year is the Johnny Depp "Pirates of the Carribean", in Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Animal Kingdom, every cart and display is all "Pirates of the Carribean" stuff. I started thinking about it, and the "Pirates of the Carribean" ride has been at Disney for at least thirty years, in fact we noticed last time we were down in '04, or '05 the lines were down to nothing,....but now? They put a couple of Johnny Depp manniquins selectively around, crank up the music, "....Yo-ho, Yo-ho a Pirates life for me!" and the popularity of the movie overflows to the ride and we're back to 30 minute lines in a "slow" period of the year to wait to ride! Ain't marketing something!
We've already established my "rides policy" in the previous blog, so I won't repeat it, suffice it to say Pirates is a real enjoyable ride. The other ride, which was being re-done and was closed last time we were there,also benefitted greatly from a movie, that was the Eddie Murphy "The Haunted Mansion" ride, also pleasurable and with only 45 minute waiting lines!
Based on those two I am willing to go out on a limb here and forecast several "new" movies from Disney in the next copuple of years based on thirty year old rides dwindling in popularity, ready for "Mr. Guinness's movies of the future picks"?
"The Mystery of Space Mountain", a captivating thriller starring Robin Williams as the leader of a band of mutant humanoids with degree's in Political Science probing the universe in search of jobs, who encounter "The Dark Side" featuring a demented Harry Pottter as a candidate for President of the Galactic Empire Federation. (Really doesn't matter what the story is since Space Mountain is a totally in the dark rollercoaster ride where you can't see anything anyhow, but Political Science Majors can imagine anything, so it will draw, plus we all know there really aren't any jobs for them out there anyway, ergo, we will be keeping an entire segment of the population who squandered thier parents hard earned college tuition savings becoming "Political Science Majors", and avoiding meaningful work in our society, cotained and away from the unemployment dole lines! Hurray!!!
After that will come a re-make of "The Sound of Music" aptly re-named "The Matterhorn Escape" starring Brittany Spears as the former Nun, turned Nanny for nine children of widowed Charlie Sheen's Colonel Von Trapp, a U.N. Atomic Energy Inspector who knows about a plot that The European Union is secretly developing to miniturized Weapons of Mass Destruction in Austria which are all disguised as little Edelweis flowers and distribute them as "Wild Flower Seed Mixtures" through out the world to poison the earth so only Poppies and Marijuana will be capable of surviving in the irradiated soil. (Again another ride in the dark with lots of turns, drops, g-forces, and a whole bunch of "WARNING" posters all over the place,....but we're going after box office revenues with DVD "piggy-back" revenues to stimulate an otherwise "old ride" so Disney woin't have to tear it down.
There's probably a dozen more I could come up with, but (Thank you God?,...who said that?) I'll stop here for today. Now I know how Tolkein got so demented before he wrote The Hobbitt! (Man I guess I bettter go get a real job or there will be a ring at the front door one morning and some men in white uniforms will want me to try on the new jacket with the wrap around sleeves!
More tomorrow, (if I don't have meaningful employment by then!)

-30-

So we got there!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Back from vacation (When do I get a vacation from vacation?)

Ok, I'm back, six lovely days in Disney World, LOTS, and LOTS of walking! (Thought twice about renting one of those old senior scooter thingies!) Been just relaxing a bit this morning, you know, checking the Credit Card balances, checking the Bank Balances, letting all the good old "real world shit" creep back into my being. Oh and I got a bucket of stories to tell as well.
Last time the wife and I were at Disney ('04 0r '05 me thinks) they were just building the new Irish Pub/Restaurant in the Downtown Disney section. Spent a couple of evenings there (September 14-15th is afterall, mathmatically, half way to St. Paddy's Day you know! Yeah, yeah just another excuse to imbibe seriously and sing silly Pub songs, meet other folks with a touch o' the green in thier blood, and another chance to make sure my wife never forgets I ruined a perfectly pure, 100% Irish, then Irish American blood line, for her love and her hand! (I know, ...what a guy,...thank you, thank you very much. I guess I am a romantic :), or an "you're such an ***hole " as she will remind me, everytime I tell her of this noble sacrifice on my part as my testimony to my devotion to her!
But comedy aside, they do seem have the best food in the Disney area, in my opinion, as the first thing out of everyone's mouth when you say you went there is "Man, wasn't the food absolutely great?". (I suppose you have to put something in between pints o' Guinness while you wait between 1st and 2nd pours!)
Before we begin a few comments. First my unchanging policy on "rides". If it says anything about "motion" or "heart related illnesses", or has a little line on the wall that kiddies must measure up to to be allowed to ride,....well color me "waiting at the other end for you". Nothing could possibly be as "adrenaline pumping" or anywhere near as "fun" as going from a dead stop to 300 miles an hour in a jet fighter off the deck of an Aircraft Carrier almost straight up in the air pulling a bunch of "G's", or riding out a MAJOR storm or two in the North Atlantic in the Spring, or going from the 200 miles an hour, of the airplane on approach to the Aircraft Carrier and then the 200mph to Zero as you hit "the wire" and a full dead stop, or any of my other "fun experiances" in my life,....so why in the hell would I want the opportunity at 62.5 years of age, to relocate my gall bladder to a new area in my left ear, or my spleen to somewhere behind my knee cap, ..and not to mention reducing the size of my breathing capacity from gallons to thimblefulls to make room for the stomach as it compresses everything together! Besides dying for you country is noble, ...dying for Disney World is just plain DUMB! I mean would Mickey or Minnie even come to the funeral, or would I have to subject all my friends to a Goofy eulogy (sorry couln"t resist the pun!)So let's see, where should I begin this imfamous voyage to where "every man has been before"?
We drove six and a half hours to get there from my house, and it was all "super highway", which we all know is boring as hell, but it's a full hour and twelve minutes faster than the "shorter" route, with all the burg's and villages and stop lights and all, not to mention the "Bubba-Bob" Deputies, all trying to get a new car from "the most speeding tickets in a month" County lottery.
Let it never be said I was a "slouch", or "slacker" with regards trying new technology,...witness this little start to our adventure.
Just before I left I got a notice in the mail from my cellular company about a "FREE Trial" on a cellular GPS system for 30 days. What the hell, I'll give it a shot! Ready? Ok I programmed in the Address of the Disney Resort we were going to (Port Orleans in the French Quarter), pulled the car out of the garage the morning we left and stood like an idiot pointing my cell phone (Blackberry) toward the skies like I was making an offering to the Gods of Travel, and allowed it to get a 9 satellite GPS fix on my driveway. After a minute or two the screen lit up and it said "DRIVE TO DESTINATION, PUSH NAVIGATE TO BEGIN."
Cool, I felt like Magellan, and Cortez, and DeGama, and Captain Cook. (Let's face it Columbus, the Pilgrims, and the rest of them really didn't have a clue where they were going, they just wanted out of there (kind of like an office party at Christmas with no alcohol options!). So in we get, to the car, I plugged in my cell phone battery charger to the cigarette lighter and then into the Blackberry (good thinkin', if we were going to leave it on the whole six and a half hours we don't want the battery to croak twenty miles away with no back up!) I found a place of honor for it resting in a coffee cup holder where I could clearly see it, and we were just about ready.
7:08am CST - We're off, "turn left for one tenth of a mile, turn right for less than one tenth of a mile, turn left for less than one tenth of a mile, go one tenth of a mile and turn left onto Sugar Drive, proceed 5/10th's of a mile on Sugar Drive, then turn Right onto U.S.Highway 98 and go 4.3 miles to Route 331 on the left." All that before I even got out of the driveway, but it was correct, so my confidence level increased in this "newfangled" GPS technology.
So I do the lefts and rights and tenths and "less than a tenths" and "poof" we turn onto the highway,.....and the screen goes blank and then it flashes "re-computing route" after about two minutes it comes back on and shows where we are and says "continue on this road until further instructions",....and we did. The next few instructions were also right on and I was feeling pretty comfortable with this thing as we cruised up the road, under the watchful eyes of nine different satellites.
About fifteen minutes later we get to this intersection where the GPS says "take a left turn onto Route 331 North" Ahahhh! Now being the human, and having far more "un-killed" brain synapses than a cell phone, I knew if I turned right onto Rt 20 and then left about seven miles down the road, I could cut off about twelve miles with no traffic, no lights, and no fuss. So I did.
Then the "beast" began to fight with me,..."make a legal U-turn now", which I ignored and kept going. Ten seconds later it reared it's ugly head again, "make a U-turn and proceed west on Rt 331 for 3 miles then turning northward and proceeding until further instructions", again I ignored it, so it sought to play upon human insecurities. The screen went blank and the "re-computing route" and spinning little hourglass showed up. (We'll teach this little electronic beast who the boss is!) After a few minutes, as I was tooling along eastward on Rt 20, the screen lit up again. "GPS signals unreliable at this point". Was that a veiled threat to me,....from a little machine? Was that translating to "Do what I tell you to do dummy or I'll see you get so lost you wouldn't be able to find your own ass with a cattleprod!"
Well little machine buddy, that's your problem, I know where I'm going, so "re-compute" your little electrons off, and flash your "Danger Will Robinson Danger" messages in full technicolor for all I care, but remember you work for me! I pull your battery and you're nothing,....got it?
The machine stopped flashing the "re-computing" shit as well as the "GPS signals unreliable" shit at me, and ten minutes later I arrived at the entrace to the super highway, I-10, on my terms, and my chosen route. As I got about 300 yards from the ramp to turn onto the highway, it mechanically re-acquired it's verbal wisdom, "Turn right in 300 yards, onto Highway 10", then "Exit to the right in 100 yards", and I slide up onto the high way with a smug grin on my face.
(Now notice the "voice" of this thing is feminine, and being a "woman" it had to have the last word. Now, I was willing to let bygones be bygones and just keep trucking along to Orlando, but nooooooo. This little bunch of chips and resistors and shit thinks SHE has to get back into the act,...."continue on this road until further instructions". And onward we went, eastward for about another two hundred mile to see who would ultimately win this battle of wits!
I turned to my wife who had been watching this whole battle of man versus machine, up close and personal, and she just shook her head and said something like, "Are you two done for now?" I grin sheepishly and said, "Hey honey, would you put one of those books on tape on for me?"
More tomorrow.

Oh by the way, I got an e-mail on my Blackberry as we were rolling along that Fred Thompson, my choice for our next President, would be having a "morning coffee session" for 2500 of his closest friend next week, and for only $2300 I could get a cup of coffee, a stone cold Danish, and see the man from a distance and hear him say the same thing I saw him say on his website. Maybe I'll just invite him over the house for coffee next time he's in town,....I know for a fact coffee ain't that expensive!

-30-

Thursday, September 06, 2007

A quick, but important alert!!

I know I said I'd be commenting on Fred Thompsons Presidential run as well "bashing the shit" out of his opponents, (only kidding, but I think if you check out my old to me, new to you blog at "www.commonsensegonzo.blogspot.com" you may enjoy my biting (ok so it's gnawing) political comments, and by all means check www.Fred08.com and see what Fred's thoughts are to Michael Moore!! GO FRED!!
-30-

Fred Thompson,...reality vs. "dynasty"

Ok, strap in tight, Mr. Guinness has decided to enter the fray for the United States Presidential Elections of 2008. Not as a candidate (for those who know me, my personal level of patience for "superfulous BS" precluded me from that consideration, as a "lifeterm" would be in line, and not in the White House, but the "Big House"!). But I'm thinking that despite being a veteran, giving my four plus years in the service of our country in the "Nam" period, voting in every election I could since I was 18 years old, and meeting a number of "politicians" (anyone have some hand sanitizer?)it was perhaps time to get off my "butt" and see about getting someone into the office of President of the United States who at least had a fighting chance of making some changes for all of us, for the good.
With that in mind I have chosen to take my faithful "constituantcy", the "Pub Times Silent Majority" via this blog, to make a difference in American elections in 2008.
I wasn't sure about Ronald Regan before the election, as he seemed more "smooth talking" than I really liked, and Ross Perot was my man, bigtime, even though it was obvious his personal agenda was the biggest "plank" in his platform for the White House. Now GB #41 I respected, but there was always a nagging doubt about "was he ALWAYS leveling with us?",and GB #43, well, I 'll support him, but we really need someone more "upscale downhome" for the future,..less political good ol' boy. Notice, no democrats thus far? Well that should be obvious, as they need to all go home and take a few "conservative" pills and call back in the morning if they don't start to feel more responsible to our Constitution and Bill of Rights!
So where am I going with this? I'm going to support Fred Thompson from Tennessee for the Presidency of the United States in 2008, and over the months I'll explain the why's and the wherefor's as well as love to hear your comments on it as well. Now Lord knows I haven't got a bunch of $$$ to throw his way, but I don't want to see anyone "BUY" the Presidency of MY country anyway. Sure there's a risk that you might have to be a bit "beholdin'" to big givers, but I think Fred is capable of being a little more "above that" than the rest of them.

First there's Mr. Guinness's "litmus test" for political candidates, the ultimate test which can not be faked, worked around, or manipulated. The imfamous "Mr. Guinness Power Drill Test". In words even children can understand just answer the question totally honestly to the VERY best of your REAL GUT feelings. Ready?
"Would you loan your power drill to Candidate ___________?"
Think about it, it's your power drill , you bought it, you are the one keeping it in shape and going, you are the one paying to repair it, and you are the one that expects it to be there for you not just for little jobs, but for those BIG jobs! So I ask you what do you think you'd get back from each candidate if you lent them your power drill? Here's my assessment;
Hillary Clinton - you'd get a flowery, scented "Thank You!" note filled with dripping honey and vague and veiled committments, more or less to be continued later. But no drill back,...it was sent to a refugee from Katrina as a gesture of one on one help and solidarity. (After all it wasn't her drill and you were coalaced into helping the needy, which is where you should have been in her opinion anyway!)
Barak Obama - I always wondered what the hell a model from "GQ" would do with a drill. I suppose we would have to dig back into the archives and find the operating instructions, see that they were translated into fifty-six different languages, be sure there was no dirt on it at all, and then with all the rest of the stuff we'd have to put up with a series of comments talking about a "fair and equitable method of modern fastening technology being disemmanated to the nations poor and needy", and after that the uniqueness that "the more blessed and privelged have the opportunity to join with the government in the propagation of model programs like this where they are most needed." (Does anyone know where the hell my drill went?)
John Edwards - Has seen pictures of drills, remembers his "poor friends and neighbors" just barely scrapping by using thiers,...but has to get back to us on how long he'll need it because his Gulf Stream is due in the shop for an oil change and the Caddilac Escalade has a "pinging noise" coming from the engine.
Mitt Romney - He's sure he can use it, can't really offer you a beer for lending it to him, isn't really sure what part of the country he will be using it, but as a "home town boy" in at least thirty-six states he knows it will work. But before he uses it he wants to trace and baptize it's entire line of heritage by generation to be sure they all are saved and can enter the Power Drill Hall of Fame.

I guess it's time to move on to the Republican Candidates,...let's see,

John McCain - Good man, salt of the earth, spent his time in hell at the Hanoi Hilton, proven leader, straight shooter,....but there is serious potential that because of his age he may forget where he left my drill, or even if he brought it inside after he used it,...or worse yet may even forget borrowing it, ergo making returning it to me a non-existing situation! Then what will I do?
Rudy Gulianni - I guess I don't have to worry about his ex-wife getting it in the divorce settlement, and the probability of having it under security and hidden are very good, OR maybe that was my drill alongside the Cross Bronx Expressway that was just lying there stripped and nothing but a burned out husk of a pwer drill. Plus being from New York City, and being the former Mayor, you gotta iknow he's well versed in screwing things, (and people!)
Fred Thompson - As long as he's not wearing a "Vol's" ball cap, or a "Grand ol' Opry" tee shirt there is hope. And I trust him to borrow my drill, do what he has to do with it, clean it up before returning it to me, offering me a beer when he returns it as a gesture of thanks, ....and DAMN if we can just get Sam Waterston as his Vice President,...well now we can gt something done around this country, but alas "Lennie Brusco" has passed on so we'll have to settle for someone else for Homeland Security,...but I'm all for Marisa Hagirtay as Secretary of State, and let's get "Munch" as Ambassador to the Middle East, and Ice-T as secretary of Defence.
Thanks Fred, you got my support, at least you bring a crew to the Cabinet that knows how to get things done, and feel free to tell poiticians to kiss their butt!

More as the race progresses,....but I am officially a "Friend of Fred"!

-30-

Monday, September 03, 2007

Wrong button,...(almost time for the pub!)

For anyone who knows me as an "old fart" i have a boatload of opinions. I will try not to subject you to the more "political" of them on this blog sight, however I've re-activate my "other" blog at "www.commonsensegonzo.blogspot.com" you will never get away from my opinions on that sight.
In fact I published the first blog since 2005 on it this afternoon, It's the short breif history of the freedom from salvery for Americans between 1776 and 1976, 200 years of freedom aren't bad, but the last fiofty have been very stressful, follow my demented "keyboard" as it explains to all for the world to see.
Got to go now, those silent all black helicopters are everywhere now,...you know?
-30-

Oh, in case you 're wondering.

Labor Day 2007, The beginning of the end in Destin

As a lot of you already know I live in the Destin Florida area. I moved here in the 1996-1997 period, started a new life, with my wife, bought a nice townhome in 2000, and have been "coming back" ever since. But I must unhappily inform you the entire area may as well have been bombed based on the economic outlook and current conditons I see here.
The once "red hot" real estate market is gone (unless you have cash, and Cash is King!) I thought it was immoral to allow people to get "upside down" (where you owe more than something is worth at current values)in automobile sales. I watched it put my own oldest boy into bankruptcy five years ago. But the good news is that all he lost was a fancy new car, his credit rating for about two or three years, and had him eating humble pie for several months. (There's no way you can put a good "spin" on going from a brand spanking new hot car to an old motorcycle!)
Now the "upside down" car stuff was one thing, but this new "sub-prime mortgage" stuff is a whole other kettle of fish! The car thing was to move mostly American Auto Manufacturers inventory and keep autoworkers working, suck up the stop gap "losses", and stay alive as a business while the economy strengthened. BUT where is the "good" of the sub-prime stuff? In my humble opinion (and we all know what that's worth!)this is probably the mosst vicious, predatory practice ever perpetrated on people. Let me expand, why is it so bad, you ask.
First of all it was fueled by only one motivation, greed! What is the difference between a "drug dealer" offering a wide-eyed thirteen year old "free" hits of meth, coke, or heroin? The great "American Dream" was "pimped" to a lot of folks who, although they wanted it in a HUGE way, were not quite ready for it yet. It took away any "safety net", i.e. any "emergency out" they may have had. It let them get way in over thier head, borrowing more than they could reasonably afford to re-pay, and taking away "the Dream" in a cruel way,....foreclosure. A house foreclosure does not go away quickly, it lingers for at least seven years on your credit history. If you've a family it is a 24/7 reminder of "failing" to provide for them. And it will sour you like you would not believe. But so what,...is that the worse that can happen? Hell no!
The clowns allowing the mortgages then turn around and "bundle them" to even more greedy investors in large seven, eight, and even nine figure "bundles". For example you pile 100 of the $275,000 mortgages together and you have a $27,500,000 "bundle" kicking off an 8, 9, 10, and even higher percentage return every year, and they are all secured by real estate. So a few "go south" or fail, you just turn it around and sell it again. It's not like real estate is a "risk", or is it. While everyone thought the market would never end, the values would just escalate, and escalate, and escalate! The way it was going from 2000 to late 2005 you had to be a total idiot with an I.Q. of less than a "caveman" (ooops! Sorry guys, just a play on words) , not to become a millionaire.
The bad thing is that this little "time-bomb" of greed went global. Overseas investors and banks got involved in the buying of "bundles", the "bundles" got bigger, instead of $27,500,000, bundles rose to $100,000,000+, it was truly like owning the "Golden Goose",.....but then....
It all turned around. The old adage of your mortgage payment never exceeding a total of 25% of your aftertax income was a brief footnote to "the old days". The terms which had flourished a scant year ago evaporated. Terms like "Jumbo", "Wrap-arounds", "progressives", and "the flip" now became visible for what they were, a lot of "bullshit". World markets began to stagger, U.S. markets began to stagger, the "couple of odd bad debts" turned into "snowballs" of bad debt. Forclosure rates began to reach all time record numbers. The once firecracker of "I don't give a damn what it costs, I'll take it, make it happen" crowd began to doubt. Now instead of buying like a shark feeding frenzy they began to think about what and how they were buying. I've one acquaintance who mortgaged his family home to the absolute maximum concievably possible, in fact well beyond ANYONE's belief that it could even reach. He then bought several palatial places right on the ocean, started wrapping mortgages around multiple properties, "re-fi" the package into "bundles" and man he was rich. The "plan"? To set up a confusing trail of ownership of multiple properties leading to one "el Primo" place completely paid for by the "re-fi's and "cash take-outs" on the rest of the "house of cards". Then what? Well his plan was to bank enough to pay for his kid's college, max the "take-out" money on his businesses, much like he did on his main "ancestral home" in another big city, file for divorce, dump his wife, leave her the "ancestral home" as his settlement on the divorce, let the rest of the house of cards fold up, and voila! He had a fabulous home, completely paid for, covered uder the "homestead" act in Florida, pull in a personal bankruptcy, and walk away clean! And who would pick up all his "pieces"? You really think he cared? He had "offshored" money, leveraged all his "disposable assets",a/k/a "throw away homes", and was virtually untouchable. Unlike the young couple who are just beginning life and who "stretch" to own thier own home, signing for the "sub-prime mortgage", optomistically thinking "we'll be earning so much more in three years when the payment goes from "$677 a month" to the "$1432 a month" that it won't hurt!" You can find most of them now prowling around for a low cost bankruptcy attorney, or just walking away and moving out of state to try and "start over" again.
Sound depressing,....it is, and I know a number of folks in that position.
Now me? No, I saw it coming and " re-fi'd" my mortgage in very early '05. got a nice sub 6%, fixed 30 year rate, and even had it all planned so that my "retirement check" from Social Security when I'm 65 would cover it all. Oooops! Shame on me,...forgot about the damn hurricanes! Last March I had to writre a check for $5,400 for "homeowners insurance", which included "wind" or "hurricane" insurance, but in all honesty I really don't know if I can afford to do that again this March, so somebody bettter find a solution. My first home we bought in 1972 cost us $296 a month and that included the Principal on the mortgage, the interst on it, the annual real estate taxes, and the "homeowners insurance". That was 18 months of payments for me to even cover my current years "hurricane insurance". The worst part is I do not have the option of "gambling" even. That being the option of not carrying the "hurricane insurance", becasue the mortgage lender requires it!
AND the way it works there is a "deductible" on the hurricane insurance. I pay the $5,400 insurance premium for the year, AND have to "eat" the first $6,000 worth of damage to meet my deductible,....then I can file a claim!
Yup,...this "sub-prime" shit is going to bite a lot of people in the butt, the only "realisitic" solution is to increase the income to cover the costs, and since we in this country spend more time at our businesses hearing about how "things are too tight and we can't do any raises this year" we are left with the new model of funding the "American Dream", take in several families of illegal immigrants and give them an 8 foot by ten foot room for thier family of four, charge them rent and prosper, or re-read Robin Hood and try your own skills at "re-distribution of the countries wealth via Smith & Wesson negociations.
End of Rant
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