So we got there!

After checking in we decided to do the "look around then eat" thing out at Downtown Disney. It has actually gotten better and I consider it a theme park, maybe it ought be called "Shopping Land" and have little American Express and Visa and Mastercard characters wandering around, like Mickey and Minnie in the other parks.
Now you gotta give old Walt a lot of credit. As a tourist we all know carrying "shit" around all day is not only a pain in the ass, but tends to bog you down, cause disputes "Will you carry this twenty piece dinnerware set for a while, my shoulder is numb.", soooo,....Disney has the answer. A whole bunch of little grmlins who will transport you "stuff" that you purchase, back to your hotel so it's there waiting for you and you can continue to shop til you drop! Like the Guinness commercial exclaims,"...Brilliant!"
Only one "gotta remember to get" on this trip, a white tee shirt with JUST Mickey Mouse on it for my buddy Carl. That should be a piece of cake right? WRONG! They had grey ones, pink ones, blue ones, tiedyed ones, thousand of tees with phrases, logos, themes, and every thing you could imagine. But a plain white tee with just Mickey? None to be had. (For those of you who know me the word "NO" is loosely translated in my mind to "Now you become an obsessive/compulsive in this matter". Well three days later I found a white tee shirt, with a full Mickey (sounds like a "full Monty" doesn't it?) on it, BUT it had a narrow blue band around the collar and the sleeves, but it qualified enough for me to make the purchase and release the first store clerk who said "they don't have any", from captivity tied to a support beam in Thunder Mountain!
My wife wanted to go to "Animal Kingdom", and while completely of the opposite desire, we went. Now I enjoy a zoo as much as anyone (OOOOH! Got a joke! What's the difference between a Zoo in New York City and one in Louisiana? .....give up? Ok, the one in Louisiana has cooking instructions under the metal signs with the latin names of the animals!) Apologies to anyone who was offended, but the ol' Cajun's from Louisiana will cook and eat anything! (A little filo, a little okra, some Tabasco,....damn that's a tasty critter, but watch out for them quills, I think they may be poisonous!)
You gotta be careful in Louisiana as a question like "Which do you prefer Democratic philosophy, or Republican Philosopy? "Shoooot, which one smokes up better?"
Ok, I've recovered and taken several of my politically correct pills.
Back to Disney World. We stayed in the Port Orleans section the last time we went and loved it. The rooms weree good, it was a compact little village of Jackson Square New Orleans type buildings with the wrought iron railings and tiny streets of cobblestones and had several swimming pools, a restaurant, and a little pool bar and was very shady to boot. We found that end of the day a dip in the pool for an hour wasjust what you needed to re-vitalize and get ready for the evening or a good noghts sleep, your choice. One of the really good deals was this coffee mug thing. You buy this plastic insulated covered coffee mug and all refills were free for your entire stay! Now it was $11.99, but at $2 for a cup of coffee, and my usual four a day,...well I beat the system big time.
The other reason we like Port Orleans is because it's got a river running through it, manmade of course, but they have these twenty foot barge type boats that go up and down transporting people between there and the Down Town Disney, or nightlife area. There's nothing like a cool roam down the river with a breeze to relax you for a good evening out. And at the end of the evening the boats will bring you back to within 50 yards of your hotel room. (A much desired outcome if you have a REALLLY GOOD night of fun!)
The other great thing is the kiddies all see to be put away in the evenings. For as many as are around the pools during the day, and in all the theme parks, they are totally absent at night. Maybe Disney gives parents complimentary quaeluddes for the kiddies ater supper! (Ok so the politically correct pills haven't kicked in yet,...sorry :( )
The big "marketing push" this year is the Johnny Depp "Pirates of the Carribean", in Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Animal Kingdom, every cart and display is all "Pirates of the Carribean" stuff. I started thinking about it, and the "Pirates of the Carribean" ride has been at Disney for at least thirty years, in fact we noticed last time we were down in '04, or '05 the lines were down to nothing,....but now? They put a couple of Johnny Depp manniquins selectively around, crank up the music, "....Yo-ho, Yo-ho a Pirates life for me!" and the popularity of the movie overflows to the ride and we're back to 30 minute lines in a "slow" period of the year to wait to ride! Ain't marketing something!
We've already established my "rides policy" in the previous blog, so I won't repeat it, suffice it to say Pirates is a real enjoyable ride. The other ride, which was being re-done and was closed last time we were there,also benefitted greatly from a movie, that was the Eddie Murphy "The Haunted Mansion" ride, also pleasurable and with only 45 minute waiting lines!
Based on those two I am willing to go out on a limb here and forecast several "new" movies from Disney in the next copuple of years based on thirty year old rides dwindling in popularity, ready for "Mr. Guinness's movies of the future picks"?
"The Mystery of Space Mountain", a captivating thriller starring Robin Williams as the leader of a band of mutant humanoids with degree's in Political Science probing the universe in search of jobs, who encounter "The Dark Side" featuring a demented Harry Pottter as a candidate for President of the Galactic Empire Federation. (Really doesn't matter what the story is since Space Mountain is a totally in the dark rollercoaster ride where you can't see anything anyhow, but Political Science Majors can imagine anything, so it will draw, plus we all know there really aren't any jobs for them out there anyway, ergo, we will be keeping an entire segment of the population who squandered thier parents hard earned college tuition savings becoming "Political Science Majors", and avoiding meaningful work in our society, cotained and away from the unemployment dole lines! Hurray!!!
After that will come a re-make of "The Sound of Music" aptly re-named "The Matterhorn Escape" starring Brittany Spears as the former Nun, turned Nanny for nine children of widowed Charlie Sheen's Colonel Von Trapp, a U.N. Atomic Energy Inspector who knows about a plot that The European Union is secretly developing to miniturized Weapons of Mass Destruction in Austria which are all disguised as little Edelweis flowers and distribute them as "Wild Flower Seed Mixtures" through out the world to poison the earth so only Poppies and Marijuana will be capable of surviving in the irradiated soil. (Again another ride in the dark with lots of turns, drops, g-forces, and a whole bunch of "WARNING" posters all over the place,....but we're going after box office revenues with DVD "piggy-back" revenues to stimulate an otherwise "old ride" so Disney woin't have to tear it down.
There's probably a dozen more I could come up with, but (Thank you God?,...who said that?) I'll stop here for today. Now I know how Tolkein got so demented before he wrote The Hobbitt! (Man I guess I bettter go get a real job or there will be a ring at the front door one morning and some men in white uniforms will want me to try on the new jacket with the wrap around sleeves!
More tomorrow, (if I don't have meaningful employment by then!)

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