ok,...I'm getting pissed!!!!

Sorry for not writing until today, and even at that I'm going to be VERY brief!
Monday I went into my favorite pbu, Buster's, for a couple of pints and some comraderie with my mates. Then Glen, our faithful bar tender comes over and leans into me and says," Hey Tom, the blonde chick over there is talking to me about some guy named Ron who used to come in here and drink,...she says he died. She wants to know if anyone knew him. You want to handle it?"
"Yeah sure Glen, I'll talk to her."
I go over and say, something like , "my buddy Glen says you're asking about someone who hangs here who died. Can you give me a little more info and I'll see if I can help."
"Yeah, he was an older guy, you know sixty or seventy, white wavy hair. He went out with my friend Paula. You know who I'm talking about?"
Oh shit! That sounds like my buddy Ron!
"Did you know his last name?" I asked.
"Yeah it began with a T."
"Oh shit, was it Ron T*******?"
"Yeah, that's him. You know him?"
NOT AGAIN? WITHIN A FUCKIN' MONTH!!
I'll write agian tomorrow, I'm having a hard time with this.
-30-

"Valley in the Clouds"

A new age CD by David Arkenstone, try it you'll like it!

As I got up today I had a number of things on my mind, not the least of which is a new "Weekly Report" my bosses want. It's of course and excel spreadsheet report designed to let them know exactly what the status of each of my clients is each week. It's not like I have time to play this silly mind fuck game, my job is to keep my clients happy, and that's forty to sixty hours a week by itself! Long story short I'm hoping this is just a "phase", you know, crack down for a few weeks until they don't have time to bother reading it anymore, then I just keep changing the date and develop "on-going" items which then become timeless as to start date, completion date, priority, cost, ownership, etc. (someone needs to seriously stop reading those top ten management books, or at least taking them seriously!)

Anyway on to blog 95.

What with everything happening, the world getting faster, me getting slower, and my personal timeclock registering mid afternoon my mind turns to seriously learning to simply settle itself into a calming place and gain a respite there whenever I want. Years ago I found myself studying different meditation techniques, trying meditation and trying to focus my self inward to a quit calming place. I must admit, I had some success, and I completely enjoyed the experiance. In fact I would be willing to bet you my energy levels were higher, my capacities for virtually everything was higher, and in particular my tolerance levels. Things that used to just "bug the shit" out of me became "bearable", I found myself less judgmental, more understanding, and mentally a lot clearer all the time. So what happened to that?
The world my friend, the world! One day I probably said, "I'm just to busy to meditate today, one day without it won't hurt.", and one became two, two, three, three, four, and here we are about twenty something years later. My feelings of being "unfocused", my level of "concern" about things, and numerous other things have caused me to decide I'm right back where I was and it sure as shit is not a good place to be, both physically and mentally,...so I damn well better do something about it before it does something to me!
Being a pack rat is a good thing beause I know I saved several of my meditational "tapes", a few books on Transendental Meditation, etc. now I begin the quest! "Where the hell did I put them?" Then I can begin the quest to heal my mind and train it to the true realities of life.
What are the true realities of life you ask? (Oh, you didn't, well tough shit you're gonna hear about them anyway!)
First of all, Man was not put here to spend life being tormented to any degree, nor any time, but in pursuing the flavor, the essense, the joy of this life. But somehow we all get sucked into the whirlpool. We need "stuff", "stuff" costs money, money is not free, and no matter how hard we work to get the "stuff" we think we want, it's always stays just a hair's breath away from our reach. Moral: like Clint Eastwood (a/k/a Dirty Harry) once said, "Well punk, do you feel lucky?"
We are all lucky, even though we sometimes don't believe it, realize it, or dare not grasp it firmly and claim it as our own. Luck is your life, learn to live with it. Make the adjustments you need to so it fits. Life is not like a pair of shoes, you can't wear them from a sixe 8 to a size 10, if you try you end up screwing up your feet, feeling pain and discomfort, and otherwise being miserable. Like the shoes if you, where you are now, does not "fit" better go make some changes or get another pair of eyes to look at life or just like the shoes, you'll do damage to you, and others!

Secondly, what is the rush? When I owned my Country Western Nightclub one of the Bands used to play a tune, by Alabama that went like this;


I'm in a hurry to get things done

Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun

All I really gotta do is live and die

But I'm in a hurry and don't know why

I leave in plenty of time

Shakin' hands with the clock

I hear a voiceThat says I'm running behind

Better pick up my pace

It's a race and there ain't no room for someone in second place

Love that song, it speaks to the futility of trying to make life fit into us, rather than us into life. As my rebellious daughter, and by the way rebellious grand daughter as well have been known to say, "You aren't the boss of me!"

I'll wrap this one up with the good news that I just broke away from the keyboard, found the book, and a couple of my old "cassette tapes". Step number one see if I can get the tapes to record in my 'puter, then dump them to CD's. The one thing that used to annoy me was when side one of the tape ended and I'd have to turn it over. Kind of like a phone call during the "dirty deed"!

Back tomorrow with another report. Oh if any of you know much about TM or meditation techniques PLEASE get in touch and enlighten me. Like I said the clock is in mid afternoon, I need a few short cuts to Utopia, Nirvana, "the zone" or where ever I'm going with this.

(p.s. Being the male of the species you surely must know I am not going to look at a map, but I will ask directions, I've learned that much humility.

:)

-30-

Are you lonesome tonight, are you..."

Ok! no contest, this is Elvis!!
Now onto reality. As a "blogger" I tend to write it "like it is", at least from my prospective. Now I would like to challenge you to help me out.
My Granddaughter, (ie. ten days into being fourteen, got "busted" trying to buy marijuana. Is this a bad thing? I don't pass judgement.) My wife and I have offered to have her come to our home in Florida for a "few weeks" to relax, comtemplate her "mistake" and see what the real world is all about.
As she is a teen, I predict she will not be "thrilled" with my way of life. (old fart existence!!) But what I challenge you, my friends in the "blog" world, is to talk to her. Tell her of your experiances in life, your hopes, and regrets, and your feelings for the next fifty years.
At 62, the probability of me "making it" for another twenty years is "slim to none". I accept that. But I would like to know that beyond me (Bamp) there are other people, that she's never even met, or even hope to meet, who have a care about her life. Perhaps I'm selfish, but I watched this girl be born into this world, watched her grow into the young woman she is, and as a "prophet" can see the absolutely SUPER lady she can be be in the "new world". Help me out here and share with her your thoughts and feelings on being a part of this new world we all face.
I will set her up with her own "blog" and ask you to respond directly to her. As my one and only grand daughter I amy be biased, bit she is worth it!!!
Mr. Guinness


Thank you!
Mr. Guinness

-30-

We have a winner!!

A Gold Kudo, for Mike. Yes indeed it was ABBA!
It's Thanksgiving afternoon and I'm sitting here writing to all of you, my wife is on her computer in the next room trying to figure out the Web cam I just installed for her. (Damned if I know how it works!)
Thanks to Rebeka for your really sincere and honest note, can't wait for you guys to get back, even if it's only for a visit. (P.S. I bought Barb the web cam last Christmas and being the KING of procrastinators on some things, forgot all about installing it until I read your e-mail, soooo, I installed it and she can figure out how to make it work. Drop her a line if you know how, or tell me and I'll try and look like the hero!)

Usually my Wife cooks a HUGE meal, we have friends over, I get yellow cards and always an eventual red card as I insure all the beer and wine is adequately "tested" so as not to risk any of our guests being "poisoned". But this year we decided to just go out to dinner for the holiday. (For my Aussie friends Thanksgiving is a celebration of the bounties of our lives based around an old tradition that when the "pilgrims" (oppressed religious types not welcomed any longer in England around 1620 a.d.) set sail and landed in Plymouth, Massachusetts, USA aboard a DAMN small little boat called the "Mayflower". One story goes that they lived in peace and harmony with the Native American Indians of the area, another goes that they not only brought new customs and other "stuff", but smallpox, which decimated the Indians. But anyhow they supposedly sat down together and ate together, and thus was born Thanksgiving. (That is the deeply abridged version)
Anyhow, we crazy Americans eat lots of Turkey, 'taters, cranberry sauce, turnips, squash, desserts, and mandatory "snacks" and liquid replenishments. Then we all collapse and watch a couple football games on TV, fall asleep about 8pm, and look forward to three more days off if you are lucky.
If you are in retail,...well another whole ball of wax. Not only do you have to go to work for the next three days, including Sunday, but it is the closest thing to a human feeding frenzy at 5a.m. and earlier as these stupid people all descend on the retail stores for what is knownas "Black Friday". Retailers have always made a big deal of it as it signals the Christmas buying season and they all want all your money TOMORROW! They open at 3, 4, 5 a.m., they offer insane "early bird" deals (80% off for the first 300 people, three for one pricing, etc.) All manner of civility disappears, people push, yell, run, swear at each other, drag kids around like rag dolls for fifteen hours,....all in pursuit of "the deal" for Christmas shopping. Most retailers, being so "employee sensitive" (excuse me I just choked!!) won't even let thier people off for lunch, they have "junk food" brought in to keep them working! Thank God I got out of that rat race last year!!
Yes my pretty, this year I am off thursday, friday, saturday and sunday. And I'm not doing SHIT!! (probably not true as I will get bored as hell by Friday afternoon, I guarantee!)
Well it's getting close to dinner time and I'm getting hungry, time to get appetite going with a little glass of Merlot or Shiraz, you know ...prime the pump.
Happy day to all, I think I'll do a few more blogs before the Weekend is over. (Just realized this is number 92! Coming up on 100 blog articles in a week or two, and the thought police have not showed up yet!!
-30-

Money, Money, Money,...it's a rich man's world!

Ok, usually I tell you the song and the group that did it, but this time it's your turn! If you know who sang the title song of my blog send a comment with the answer. The first five right answers (that's 'cause it's really easy!) win a genuine, gold plated "kudo" and the right to move on to round two,..."Where are they now?"
This is a sort of short blog becasue I've been getting real lazy. I used to be up and on the 'puter around 5 a.m. sucking the bottom from the coffee cup and all, but the last month or two I've kind of been pulling the covers over my head and drifting back to oblivion til seven-ish. (Got to be at work at eight!)
While I love this new job I can honestly say it's ,as the announcer of the original Superman used to intone with his deep baritone voice, "battling the forces of evil everywhere". The faster than a speeding bullet part is a real pain in the butt. Apparently my firms concept of the "job" is that of something akin to Viet Cong guerilla, run in, pop a few small rounds about, plant a couple of "booby traps", and take off and go to the next one. If all the accounts are in a perpetual washing machine cycle of "fill", "wash", "agitate", "spin" and "drain", well they will never really get to the part where they have to go in the dryer and get all warm and fluffy!
Voila! That constant state of "organized turmoil" reinforces the fact that without you they are doomed and aside from asprin you are the cure of every headache, problem, and thing that happens to them, and thier best bet is not to bother you since YOU and YOU ALONE will ferret out the (rich deep baritone announcer time again) "...truth, justice , and the American way!"
I guess it's really more like the old dude that used to be on "The Ed Sullivan Show" (if you are under 50 years old you most probably don't have a clue what that was, but it was the VERY first place the Beatles appeared before United States television audiences, and Elvis, and on and on and,..well you get the idea, OLD and black & white).
Back to the old dude. He used to have this table, about ten or twelve feet long, regular height, and about every foot or so in the table for it's entire length was a three foot, or so, rod, or dowel sticking straight up. They were flexible. He had this "gorgeous sexy assisstant" who went to this table behind him and took a regular dinner plate and brought it over to him. He would take the plate and put it on the end of the rod and start spinning it, she would go on and give him another plate and he would repeat it, and again and again, then he would have to keep running back to the original one and give it a "boost" and get it spinning strait again, add another plate to another stick, run back and "boost" a couple more, etc. After a few minutes he would have fifteen or twenty plates all spinning in some form of "decaying spin" as he raced faster and faster to keep up with the decaying spin and the "boosts" (Guess that's the origin of the old expression "keeping a lot of plates spinning")
Finally when it looked like it was all going to come to a crashing disaster he would run down the whole line and recover every single plate with nary one broken. The auduence would burst into wild applause and hurrahs. Then you realized you had been holding your breath for the last five minutes. (Ok, so little things amuse little minds! I wonder if anyone does that trick any more?)
This is a "happy blog" becasue I have a long hard day today and decided I needed to write an "upper" to motivate myself to go fight the forces of evil and triumph in the battle for (deep baritone announcer time again!) "....truth, justice, ...and the American Way!"
I think I'll do a really nice blog for Thanksgiving since I have the four day weekend off and we decided to go out to dinner for Thanksgiving this year as family is all scattered all over the U.S., Mikie is no longer around to have over, and the rest of my friends all are traveling for the holidays.
Sometimes a quiet four days is perfect as the way to enter the "Holiday Season" and the retail feeeding frenzy begins and we are buried in a lot of that stupid repetative retail holiday crap that passes for sincereity! (Better stop, the cynic is waking up and I need him asleep for today!!)
-30-

Sittin' on the dock on the Bay,..."

I love to start each post with whatever "pops" into my brain as a musical inspiration. Oh yeah,...Otis Redding, ..what a tune!
Sometimes we feel like we're just "sittin' on the dock on theBay, watching as time flows away, yeah". (Old Fart Rant coming! Strap on you're helmets young'uns and get ready!)
I got to thinking a lot about time today. And I mean a lot.
This Saturday is the service we're having for Mikie. (God I miss that dude already!) I have his ashes and we scheduled a "get together" at the Whale's Tail (a local watering hole right on the shore of the Gulf of Mexico, about twenty five feet to the water) The plan is a simple one that I hope even Mikie would be happy about. We gather at 3p.m., have a drink and chat about our honored guest's final farewell. Maybe there's tears, maybe there's hugs, maybe there is laughter. It's been a full month, and the schock has past, the memories are flowing in all of us like that cold morning when you reach down and pull a blanket up over you and feel the warmth. There were some recriminations, some disputes, but it's over, for this is Mikie's last time to be physically with us. We have a list of folks who want to "share" , and I'm the last one on the list, because someone close to him has to bring us all to closure, and set our friend free to be above, below and all around us, bringing that periodic dumb goofy memory of him that will keep the dude alive in us.
After I say my goodbyes, I will take a portion of the ashes, walk down to the Gulf, and scatter them (totally illegal by the local ordinaces, but it's Mikie, so f**k 'em!) then I'll invite all the other folks to do the same, until we have put Mikie totally to rest.
Having grown up Roman Catholic, taken years to realize so many things are not a "sin", learned that we are all people who IF we choose to live by a faith must discern the truths of that faith and learn to separate the "human intervention" in that faith, from the true meaning of that faith, I have come a long way.
So what do I want done with me? (Sorry if I'm freaking some of my younger readers out, but I am closer to facing the reality of life than you,...we are all bound to die, eventually.) No I'm not a "Jesus freak", or a "born again" person, nor a anything. I choose to believe what I believe, what I define as my "faith". Faith in a lot of respects is like a custom made Armani suit. Sure I can "buy off the rack" , but with that comes the legs that are too long, the button that has to be moved, the "butt" that is great as long as you don't bend over. I'm just not an off the rack kind of guy when it come to faith.
Then you have the quasi-agnostic, whose idea of religion is as non-sensical as oragami. Pretty to see and talk about, but can you cut it?
So what do I believe? I believe the truths of Christianity are good. The tenants of the whole "love thy neighbor as thyself" a truly phenomenally deep truth for everyone. Do I have to go to church each Sunday? No! Can I want to delve deeply into transendental meditation? Most assuredly. Would I deliberately want to, nay, even be able to, consciously hurt another human being, be they Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddist, or "other"? No!
You're faith is about your very innnermost soul, the place that only you can go, and only you can be totally intimate within. Do I love to drink, Damn right! Do I enjoy the hell out of sex? Are you brain dead, mais certainment! But my "faith" allows for that and not to be a "bible quoter" (for I really don't have much respect for folks who have to use what someone else says as thier thought, spit out on you're own, by God you are unique, be that way!
I love mankind, I love people, and I love the fact that none of us, and I mean none of us, including me, come anywhere near being perfect!
My buddy Carl drives a $200,000 Bentley sedan. I once asked him "Where do you take it to be serviced?" He looked at me like I really should have known this and said, "They come and pick it up in a truck and leave me a car to use while they fix it." Now Carl and I know each other from the Pub, we both love football, Guinness, and frank conversation. Is he rich?, Yeah,...in fact freakin' filthy rich, and he's trying to give it all away before he dies because he knows, ...you will never , ever, see a hearse with a U-haul behind it. I like Carl because he's human, he's been to the summit, and he knows. It's about you , me, us and making folks believe they are unique, and that they count.
Sorry , I digressed. The end of me is simple, call the "1-800" number, they'll drag my old shot bones to a crematorium. Then take the next four weeks and seek counsel, get my affairs in order, hug my children, let my friends hug you, cry when you need to, snuggle up to my cat instead of me, because he will most certainly miss me just as much, clean out my "stuff", and wake up every day with one simple thought, "life is for the living", I've had my life, you still have your's,....live it!
In four weeks do what you want, have a church service, scatter my ashes, keep them on the mantle, it doesn't matter. The "Me" you knew still loves you 'til all the stars in the heavens burn out, ...but I'm gone. Remember me, but don't idolize me, go on with your life, ...for that is what life is about,....life! God what a beautiful gift we have,... do we appreciate it?
-30-

Friday is when the world says "Enough!"

Hey folks, sorry I haven't written this week. It's like the old saying, "when it rains it pours" It's been so bad I'm not even getting to the Pub on time for my daily "Vitamin G" infusion! But as I look across our virtually empty office, check and see if my watch is still ticking, and realize there is still another three hours in the workday, ...but there is no one here to work! I guess my whole office is having a "bad week". But I'm the "old trooper" who stays on the job until quittin' time.
No applause please!!
So what's up for the weekend? Well tomorrow I guess I'll try my newest hobby, (sleeping in til 7am) since I don't have to go to work. Then a leisurely breakfast (eight or ten cups of coffee), perhaps go "shopping" with the wife,....but then again,...well we'll see on that one. Cruise the book store and see what's new, maybe "piddle around" on my computer and try and figure out how to "secure" my new wireless access point thing, pop by the pub for a pint, maybe get a movie, relax and go to bed.
Then again maybe I'll go rent a Harley, cut the sleeves off my shirt, get a tatoo and go for a ride. (NOT!!!) A friend of mine offered to sell me thier Harley, it's a 2004 Sportster with virtually no miles on it, for $7,500. (I'm thinking about it!)
Or maybe I'll go down to the docks, see if I can get a slot on one of the sport fishing party boats and go out in the Gulf of Mexico and see what I can catch for dinner. ($150 for a slot, three hours out, three hours back, if it's really rough seas it's puking all the way, about two hours "on-spot",... naw, it's a lot easier to go to the fish store and get some, and a lot cheaper too!
Or maybe I'll just go tourist and drive around town taking left turns with my right turn signal on, hit the restaurants all day and steal sugar and salt and pepper packets, complain about the food and get even more off to keep me from making an "old fart" scene, hit the clothing store and look for a flaw of any kind or a loose buttin and then demand a 40% discount for "shoddy" products. Then I can go to a local sports bar scream and yell and swear for some college football team, scoff a few free beers from fans who think I'm with them. "Man they are killing us, we need to kick some serious butt here,....oh man look at that, that's aggrevated assualt, not a tackle, ...call it ref, call it,.. you blind mo****-f****r" Shit I lost my wallet, anyone spot me a beer til I can go out to the car?"
Or maybe go and "lurk" at Starbucks. Man, whoever had the balls to charge those prices for a cup of coffee, now there's a dude with steel balls! It's only coffee, get over it!!!
Speaking of get over it, someone just came through the office to tell us that for $25 you can go down to the local drug store and get a flu shot, while they last! Now you say something like that and it's the senior set's feeding frenzy. "I was in line before you and I'm sicker than you." Listne you old battle axe you want to see sick look at the size of my joints from the arthritis. I'd slug you but my osteoperosis would cause all the bones in my hand to shatter!"
Oh boy, the sleeping in and going shopping with my wife is looking better and better. (As long as she doesn't get into the shoe department! I swear I could put shoes on half the women in China with just what's in her closet! (Ok, by now you've figured it out that she doesn't know my "blog" name, and Annonymous (a/k/a my daughter) if you tell her you are no longer in my will and I'll become a Rastufarian!
God, I've only killed a half hour here in my cubicle! Maybe I'll re-arrange my cubicle,...naw theat would make the guy in the next one happy. He hates that I LOVE the "handsfree mode" on my phone. this way I can continue working, occasionally mutter a "Yup, I know exactly what you're saying", or be able to give my callers a two handed "bird" knowing they can't see me. Ooops! Just noticed my "message waiting" light is on, ...hang on I'll be right back.
Just as client's secretary wanting me to tell her how to get an extra cable tv hookup done for her boss. (real answer? Get off your ass and call around and find out yourself. Don't ask some poor thing you barely pay enough to pay her bills and eat to find out how you can get something for you oceanfront "weekend place" while she has to sit home and sweat with not even air-conditioning! Sorry, I tend to rant at this type of shit!
got to go,
-30-

God, I love these toys!!!!

Just a quick blast, I decided toi try wireless and have successfully installed a wireless "access point" on my four station hardwired network. Only five hours last night and two tonight, not bad for a "technologically challenged" old fart.
Now I can take my laptop down to my recliner, sip a delicate bordeaux, watch the old Law & Order re-runs and blog til I fall asleep.
Ready for the first blog tomorrow night?

Oh for you younger folks. Raising our three kids (now ages 39,37, and 30 ) it was heel on wheels. We strongly suspect the youngest found the drug scene, but he's still alive, cleaned up his act and just got married, so there's hope. But my wife got a call from our daughter today and our barely 14 (September 18 birthday) just got expelled from school for getting busted in a Marijuana buy at school!!
Life was supposwed to get better. I really wanted to be the soft, cuddly , fun "Grandpa", but looks like I'm going to have to go back to the kick ass drill sargent and find out what the hell is up with this shit.
Am I opposed to Mary J, not at all, but at least give the rest of your life as a child (i.e. up to and including your college, or University years) a complete run through, then as a quasi adult try what you want.
But 14? That's pure bullshit any way you cut it!!
Chat with you tomorrow.
-30-