As I got up today I had a number of things on my mind, not the least of which is a new "Weekly Report" my bosses want. It's of course and excel spreadsheet report designed to let them know exactly what the status of each of my clients is each week. It's not like I have time to play this silly mind fuck game, my job is to keep my clients happy, and that's forty to sixty hours a week by itself! Long story short I'm hoping this is just a "phase", you know, crack down for a few weeks until they don't have time to bother reading it anymore, then I just keep changing the date and develop "on-going" items which then become timeless as to start date, completion date, priority, cost, ownership, etc. (someone needs to seriously stop reading those top ten management books, or at least taking them seriously!)
Anyway on to blog 95.
What with everything happening, the world getting faster, me getting slower, and my personal timeclock registering mid afternoon my mind turns to seriously learning to simply settle itself into a calming place and gain a respite there whenever I want. Years ago I found myself studying different meditation techniques, trying meditation and trying to focus my self inward to a quit calming place. I must admit, I had some success, and I completely enjoyed the experiance. In fact I would be willing to bet you my energy levels were higher, my capacities for virtually everything was higher, and in particular my tolerance levels. Things that used to just "bug the shit" out of me became "bearable", I found myself less judgmental, more understanding, and mentally a lot clearer all the time. So what happened to that?
The world my friend, the world! One day I probably said, "I'm just to busy to meditate today, one day without it won't hurt.", and one became two, two, three, three, four, and here we are about twenty something years later. My feelings of being "unfocused", my level of "concern" about things, and numerous other things have caused me to decide I'm right back where I was and it sure as shit is not a good place to be, both physically and mentally,...so I damn well better do something about it before it does something to me!
Being a pack rat is a good thing beause I know I saved several of my meditational "tapes", a few books on Transendental Meditation, etc. now I begin the quest! "Where the hell did I put them?" Then I can begin the quest to heal my mind and train it to the true realities of life.
What are the true realities of life you ask? (Oh, you didn't, well tough shit you're gonna hear about them anyway!)
First of all, Man was not put here to spend life being tormented to any degree, nor any time, but in pursuing the flavor, the essense, the joy of this life. But somehow we all get sucked into the whirlpool. We need "stuff", "stuff" costs money, money is not free, and no matter how hard we work to get the "stuff" we think we want, it's always stays just a hair's breath away from our reach. Moral: like Clint Eastwood (a/k/a Dirty Harry) once said, "Well punk, do you feel lucky?"
We are all lucky, even though we sometimes don't believe it, realize it, or dare not grasp it firmly and claim it as our own. Luck is your life, learn to live with it. Make the adjustments you need to so it fits. Life is not like a pair of shoes, you can't wear them from a sixe 8 to a size 10, if you try you end up screwing up your feet, feeling pain and discomfort, and otherwise being miserable. Like the shoes if you, where you are now, does not "fit" better go make some changes or get another pair of eyes to look at life or just like the shoes, you'll do damage to you, and others!
Secondly, what is the rush? When I owned my Country Western Nightclub one of the Bands used to play a tune, by Alabama that went like this;
I'm in a hurry to get things done
I'm in a hurry to get things done
Oh I rush and rush until life's no fun
All I really gotta do is live and die
But I'm in a hurry and don't know why
I leave in plenty of time
Shakin' hands with the clock
I hear a voiceThat says I'm running behind
Better pick up my pace
It's a race and there ain't no room for someone in second place
Love that song, it speaks to the futility of trying to make life fit into us, rather than us into life. As my rebellious daughter, and by the way rebellious grand daughter as well have been known to say, "You aren't the boss of me!"
I'll wrap this one up with the good news that I just broke away from the keyboard, found the book, and a couple of my old "cassette tapes". Step number one see if I can get the tapes to record in my 'puter, then dump them to CD's. The one thing that used to annoy me was when side one of the tape ended and I'd have to turn it over. Kind of like a phone call during the "dirty deed"!
Back tomorrow with another report. Oh if any of you know much about TM or meditation techniques PLEASE get in touch and enlighten me. Like I said the clock is in mid afternoon, I need a few short cuts to Utopia, Nirvana, "the zone" or where ever I'm going with this.
(p.s. Being the male of the species you surely must know I am not going to look at a map, but I will ask directions, I've learned that much humility.
:)
-30-
1 comment:
Maps are overrated anyway. It's a very good Alabama song. One of my favorites. Too many of us rush through our lives forgetting what is really important.
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