Life is heating up!

Well buckeroos, since we last talked I've managed to get my self sued by a former employer for a dumb non-compete contract that is unenforceable by it's very terms ("Employer hereby agrees to continue to employ Employee"....In case you dickheads didn't noticed you fired me, ergo you the employer is not continuing "to employ the Employee" to wit me!!
I've turned my daughter the pit bull of para-legals, loose on someone who ownes me about $75,000 since 1993 and hasn't even paid the 8% simple interest the contract calls for or the $1,000 a month since 1993 either. Go get'em kid, you WILL get a nice piece of the action. (My policy is try not to hire a lawyer,...just sire one!)
Oh yeah and I'm back on the Board of Directors of our Homeowners Association and put more IED's on the table at the Board meeting this past Wednesday that all the terrorists in Iraq last month! (So what part of when I left the Board about 16 mothes ago there were literally thousands of dollars in our "prior years earnings",...now the new financial statements I got just before the meeting tell me there is only $0.84 !!!! EIGHTY-FOUR freakin' cents!! Oh Lucy,(not the good princess from Sydney)...someone got some esplainin' to do!"
After nine years as my faithful pet, (rescued from being a ferral kitten) my cat finally wants to climb up on my lap every time I sit down and be petted, or just plunk down between me and my 'puter screen! And even my wife said there was no hope! See, I am a kind and generous "Daddy".
I just saved a client over $48,000 on a single contract and get a silly e-mail that thinks we should "cap any increases for the next 3 to 5 years before deciding"!!
Am I the only old fart who heard the term, "take the money and run" it's a bloody contract! We got 'em for at least a year at this reduced price!
And to make matters worse I have a nasty habit, as I get older, of hurting myself while I sleep!! Last night I apparently slept on my shoulder, cutting off the circulation, apparently bruising the muscle, and my right arm feel like a three hundred puond piece of dead weight! (Another hour I head for the Pub,...I'm sure they have some medicine there which will ease my pain!)
Oh, and after carefully planning my career education so as to have taken every course I need to get the equivalent of a Phd. in my field by the end of this year, I just get an e-mail from a friend that they may have to cancel one critical course because all the hotels are booked for spring break! (Again, If it's tourist season just tell me how many I can "bag" before I hit my limit? Is that such a difficult thing to answer?)
Good news, my New England Patriots Football team won thier 17th straight game. One more and I get to wear my "worn only once (3 years ago) Tom Brady (the quarterback) game shirt", my Patriots ball cap, consume vast quantities of Guinness during the Super Bowl, declare the Monday after a "National Holiday" (to recover). Life has some little rewards! ("Game shirt $65, embroidered Ball cap $40,...no objections from the wife for consuming vast quantities of Guinness,...priceless!!)
My computer Guru is coming over tomorrow evening to "clean" my computer. I have an Intel Pentium 4, 3 gig processor, a hard drive that is 70% free space, operating on XP Pro, but it takes almost twenty minutes to start up!! I'm a packrat for desk top icons and funky little programs and shortcut shit! (Ok so I don't know shit about this instant messaging crap, but the Yahoo instant messenger and the other one are both in my start up "stuff",....you know, just in case I need them.
Speaking of computer crap! My Blackberry is giving me fits and starts. It's been so bloody annoying I have talked to every tech at the B'berry call center at least twice! They are so used to my calls that when my name comes up on thier end they just say "Hey Tom, what's the problem?" and don't even ask me for my bloody "Account pin" or "First pets name" or Mother's maiden name! (Well isn't that speshul!)
I think maybe I am losing patience and may accelerate the Sunday afternoon Pub visit. Afterall I blame the TV networks! (This ought be a damn good one! "So why is it the TV networks fault you have to go to the Pub earlier than usual?" )
It's simple, they figure the folks on the East Coast got more money to buy bigger TV's or stuff they see on the commercials, so they pander to them and have the games on at "Eastern Standard Time" or an hour earlier than the time zone I'm in, "Central Standard Time". So the "1 pm eastern time" playoff game is noon time, my time zone. I'm lovin' Guinness, but noon on Sunday is a real stretch! (Two things to know here. First, I guess that's why I'm really rested on MOnday becasue I'm going to bed early Sunday night, and Second, If I lived in California I'd be drinkin' at 9 in the morning!!! Not a good thing!
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