I just realized I haven't published a blog since 6/8/2007, I humbly apologoze to all, particularly Lucy, Amber, Tropical, and Jezzy,....how freaking rude of me!!!!
It's my "high season" wherein every cell phone tone, every e-mail alert, and every freakin' bloody sound from my Blackberry is like having your wife break in to the motel room where you are having the most magnificent sex of your entire life with a (to be named later) member of the oppositite sex!!!!
"There is a leak in my unit". "The coackroaches are carrying the baby away!", etc.
Answers: "Ok, I'll get a plumber out there in ten minutes",...and "Sorry your baby is your problem,...but have a nice week at the unit!"
Do I sound,....ah let me see,...ah cynical?,...or perhaps "uncaring"?,.. or maybe tired as shit of your problems? .....DUH,... Yeah!!!
But I'm a professional,(at least that's what the State says!), so I'll deal with your problem!
But that's tomorrow, Monday,...not tonight, Sunday. Could I need a day off tomorrow,...absolutely! Will I take one? Shit NO! why? Because I am a professional, your vacation, your contribution to my account's owner so he can pay the bill to put up with you,...well that's paramount!
Next month my brothers and sisters, all four of them, are going to Ireland on a "tour". GOd I would love to go with them, but there are several "impediments".
#1 - I simply can't afford it. (Hurricane insurance was $5400 this year, not counting the $6,000 deductible!)
#2 - My bloody sister went over last year and she is the "planner" of this family trip. She is cheaper and tighter than the paper on the freaking' wall! I love her, but who gives a shit about saving money on a once in a life time opportuniy to go to Ireland and try and "find" your heritage? My requirements are very simple, A) enjoy the entore freakin' trip , B) at five P.M. we damn well better be in a local pub with Guinness or DEAD!, C) a constant reminder to the "out-laws" and "mutant blood relatives",.. that GOD Himself created Guinness with a little help from Arthur P. Guinness, to keep the Irish from conquering the entre world!
#3 - BECAUSE i AM GOING ON 63 YEARS OLD, THE OLDEST LIVING MEMEBER OF OUR FAMILY, THE MOST "ENAMOURED" WITH OUR IRISH HERITAGE, AND "FUCK IT" YOUR GODDAMN BIG BROTHER!!! In other words I'm not cooling my arse on a bus seat for ten hours a day looking at horny sheep and rock walls to end up at a local hotel for the evening! I have learned hoe to play a bodhran (Irish single goatskin drum, similar to a tamborine) am looking forward to going into a local pub and saying "Well shit, that looks pretty easy,...can I try?" and subsequently "wailing" out a tune and watching the jaws drop just to have "good craic" with the locals.
#4 - Because I've spent fifteen years trying to trace our families heritage to Ireland.
My grand parents, only two whom I've ever known,My Grandmother on my father's sode, and a "fleeting" remeberance of materanl grand mother who passed away when I was four years old, came to the States in the early 1900's. One Grandfather was a "teamster" (a "driver" for Haffenreffer Beer, delivering beer by horse and wagon in the 1920's), his wife a "dressmaker" or seamstress, both with the vision of a son who would be a priest in the Catholic Church and a daughter who would be a nurse. My Aunt became a nurse and was onr for over fifty years. My Dad(Thank the Lord Jesus!! Or I would not be here today!!) left the seminary and married my Mom! (Thanks Mom, more than you will ever know!)
My other grandfather was a "chauffeur" to an EXTREMELY wealthy family for over thirty year who dropped dead thirty days before I was born, and whose family was "vacated" from the three bedroom home they had and the three bedroom "cottage" they had on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and were left with whatever they had (fortunately they bought a home "off " the estate. My maternal grandmother lived four years after her husband, or died when I was 4.
Sorry folks much too personal stuff!!
Any way time has run out and I have to check back into reality time. More later , (if you are interested)
Tommmy Irish, (Mr, Guinness)
-30-
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
To my dear friend Lucy,...here's why.
So why is this to Lucy? Easy, because she is insightful, has a real heart, and basically because we will never meet, so we can be totally honest with each other with no expectations.
Some people say money buys happiness, some say it buys comfort and "the extras",...well follow my tale of the world I live and work in and you decide,....what does money really buy?
Several years ago a greedy developer built a "luxury hotel facility" people flocked to buy in to it only to find out they only bough a three bedroom, three bath, "room", and the rest of the building, it's swimming pool over looking the Gulf of Mexico, it's elevated hot tub also poverlooking the azure waters of the Gulf, and the 165 yards of pure white sand beach were also licienced to about three hundred other folks. So what do you do? You hire a "top gun" attorney and you fight it!!!
Cut to several years later, you put the developer in bankruptcy, you bought his entire "hotel" compplex from him, and you have a luxurious 48 unit Condominium with a five story skylighted open Atrium, a pool overlooking the Gulf to kill for, 165 feet of private beach on the Gulf, a gated underground parking garage, and the peace and quiet of Nirvana as your weekend get-a-way!
But the guy your $1.7 million beat for this is as vindictive as a spurned lover, as "crazy" as a loon, and as cold and calculating as a serial killer on steroids!
Now "the Beach"! Ah there is a real conundrum. The deed to the property says it extends "southerly to the Gulf of Mexico, meanders westward to a point of XXXX, and then northerly to a point of XXXX" Is that the definition of a "private beach"? Some say so, others don't. But the Supreme Court of Florida will rule on that in August.
Now the "solid money" says ththe result will be the creation of a "public Beach" ring around the entire state of Florida, the rationale being that the American Indians were here hundreds of years before the white man and that they all went "to the beach" and lived together in peace and "recreated" together at the beach, i.e. therefore the precedant is that all beaches are "public" and can not be owned by individuals, Right or Wrong? I'm not going there! BUT IF that is true, the reality of the United States judical system is that there must be "fair compensation" given to those whose claim on the "Property" may be legitimate. Ergo if you can "claim:" you own the beach, and you can afford a "good" attorney,...well probability is you will get a 7 figure (American for MILLIONS of dollars) settlement for you "deed right".
Is that a perscription for a good "cat fight of the wealthy"? you bet your bippy!!
So signs go up indicating everything is a "PRIVATE PROPERTY - NO TRESPASSING", private "security companies" are hired to "patrol" the beaches and expel interlopers" and trespassers. Now the once calm beaches of happy families and couples become "war zones". Confrontations, "911" calls bring Sheriffs to arbitrate everyone's "Right to be Right", tempers flair, idiots who lack law degrees interpret the law, legal and "real" defenses are set in place.
I'm enstrusted to determine and mark the "mean high tide line" (Shit! I've failed Statisics 101 three times because statisitcs are simply "mental masturbation" any way you cut it! "Figures lie, and liars figure!" ) Where I stick the stake in the sand, becomes the "ground zero" of this battle!!
Mr. Guinness's solution to this "conundrum"? I go to the "private beach" tomorrow, set up a comfy chaise lounge, make sure there is enough ice for my cooler of "preferred malt beverages" and wait to see what happens, A day at the beach, a few cool "brewski's" and a new and higher level of respect for "going above and beyond" on my day off even!!
Whatever happens I will wind up being called as a "witness" , or "deposed" in a whole day waste of time thing. Do I get anything for this?....NO! Do I really care which way the decision goes?...No. So what the hell?
What we have proved is that age old "ditty",..."money talks,...bullshit walks!"
If you have enough money, enough "balls" to let the issue "percolate" to the forefront, and have enogh "friends" to support you,...well...my guesstimate is that you will prevail!!
I should have gone to Harvard Law School, I'd be sunning my sorry ass on the foredeck of my 50 foot Catamaran as we speak!!
-30-
Some people say money buys happiness, some say it buys comfort and "the extras",...well follow my tale of the world I live and work in and you decide,....what does money really buy?
Several years ago a greedy developer built a "luxury hotel facility" people flocked to buy in to it only to find out they only bough a three bedroom, three bath, "room", and the rest of the building, it's swimming pool over looking the Gulf of Mexico, it's elevated hot tub also poverlooking the azure waters of the Gulf, and the 165 yards of pure white sand beach were also licienced to about three hundred other folks. So what do you do? You hire a "top gun" attorney and you fight it!!!
Cut to several years later, you put the developer in bankruptcy, you bought his entire "hotel" compplex from him, and you have a luxurious 48 unit Condominium with a five story skylighted open Atrium, a pool overlooking the Gulf to kill for, 165 feet of private beach on the Gulf, a gated underground parking garage, and the peace and quiet of Nirvana as your weekend get-a-way!
But the guy your $1.7 million beat for this is as vindictive as a spurned lover, as "crazy" as a loon, and as cold and calculating as a serial killer on steroids!
Now "the Beach"! Ah there is a real conundrum. The deed to the property says it extends "southerly to the Gulf of Mexico, meanders westward to a point of XXXX, and then northerly to a point of XXXX" Is that the definition of a "private beach"? Some say so, others don't. But the Supreme Court of Florida will rule on that in August.
Now the "solid money" says ththe result will be the creation of a "public Beach" ring around the entire state of Florida, the rationale being that the American Indians were here hundreds of years before the white man and that they all went "to the beach" and lived together in peace and "recreated" together at the beach, i.e. therefore the precedant is that all beaches are "public" and can not be owned by individuals, Right or Wrong? I'm not going there! BUT IF that is true, the reality of the United States judical system is that there must be "fair compensation" given to those whose claim on the "Property" may be legitimate. Ergo if you can "claim:" you own the beach, and you can afford a "good" attorney,...well probability is you will get a 7 figure (American for MILLIONS of dollars) settlement for you "deed right".
Is that a perscription for a good "cat fight of the wealthy"? you bet your bippy!!
So signs go up indicating everything is a "PRIVATE PROPERTY - NO TRESPASSING", private "security companies" are hired to "patrol" the beaches and expel interlopers" and trespassers. Now the once calm beaches of happy families and couples become "war zones". Confrontations, "911" calls bring Sheriffs to arbitrate everyone's "Right to be Right", tempers flair, idiots who lack law degrees interpret the law, legal and "real" defenses are set in place.
I'm enstrusted to determine and mark the "mean high tide line" (Shit! I've failed Statisics 101 three times because statisitcs are simply "mental masturbation" any way you cut it! "Figures lie, and liars figure!" ) Where I stick the stake in the sand, becomes the "ground zero" of this battle!!
Mr. Guinness's solution to this "conundrum"? I go to the "private beach" tomorrow, set up a comfy chaise lounge, make sure there is enough ice for my cooler of "preferred malt beverages" and wait to see what happens, A day at the beach, a few cool "brewski's" and a new and higher level of respect for "going above and beyond" on my day off even!!
Whatever happens I will wind up being called as a "witness" , or "deposed" in a whole day waste of time thing. Do I get anything for this?....NO! Do I really care which way the decision goes?...No. So what the hell?
What we have proved is that age old "ditty",..."money talks,...bullshit walks!"
If you have enough money, enough "balls" to let the issue "percolate" to the forefront, and have enogh "friends" to support you,...well...my guesstimate is that you will prevail!!
I should have gone to Harvard Law School, I'd be sunning my sorry ass on the foredeck of my 50 foot Catamaran as we speak!!
-30-
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
"Hot time summer in the city,...back 'o my neck getting burned and gritty"
"...all around me people on the sidewalk...."
Yeah it's summer in Florida, the return of the indigenous "Southern Redneck" to the area once again. And it seems they are back with a vengence this year!
Some thoughts as they randomly pop into my head walking about or TRYING to drive on my roads;
"Shit,..one guys bathing suit could be made into at least ten of the female type worn by 12 year old Brittany wannabes!"
"At almost $3 a gallon for gasoline how does the asshole 17 year old afford to run the "monster truck" in the lane next to me with, judging by the sound and blood dripping from my ears, a stereo system which could create tsunami waves if turned up on a beach!"
"And I can't think of anything more disgusting than some teeny boppers Mom in the string bikini with a see-through mesh beach coverup coming into the restaurant for dinner together! You lost that 15 year old figure four kids ago! Try some personal pride and dress like the 40 something year old that you are!"
"Oh,.. and let's not forget the entire families on vacation. "please check your brains at the door, your Pastor is not here." Rather than tables in a number of cases troughs would be more appropriate!"
"Yup! The American Medical Association was 110% correct, the majority of Americans are obese. Shit they must "roll" some of those kids around."
"Ok, I'm an old fart, and the backwards ball caps drove me nuts, but now the cockeyed angles are even worse. I'm not sure if the retard wearing it is just stupid, auditioning for a part in the next drive by shooting in LA, or hasn't got a clue and thinks it's "kool"."
"Does any manufacturer of automobiles make anything smaller than a 'honkin'' SUV or Hummer look-a-like anymore?"
"What is the thing with Oysters? They are slimey, raw, carry at least two hundred different kinds of bacteria, some of which can REALLY make you a sick puppy, and are the eqivalent of eating giant boogers! Yet these folks slurp 'em down like nothing. In fact Busters has revived an old tee shirt the sold years ago it says "Shuck'em, Suck'em,...Bark like a dog!" (Duh! How lame is that?"
"A brand new beautification program on the entire three mile strech of highway including pedestrian crosswalks, strategically placed and calulated to the inch by highly paid traffic engineers, and with new flashing strobe alerts in the road itself carefully placed to hit the oncoming vehicle drivers right in the eye and get thier attention to watch for the crossing pedestrians. Three months they've been in , every day I drive the road, and not once (And I am serious!) have I seen a pedestrian even step into the crosswalk, or the flashing light go off (wonder what color they are?). After that much money spent just let us locals "bag a few" stupid folks who probably think a crosswalk is some new piece of art deco sidewalk art!!
It's time to go to work, (oops! take my high blood pressure medication first, lest I "pop" a vein just driving to my office today!)
Gotta get back in the habit of writing more often.
Sorry for the rant.
Big meeting this morning, the owner wants to discuss "contract fees" with us lowly "providers of service" (Roughly translated this is a meeting where he pisses and moans about losing money and how the rates are going to have to go up at least 25% so we better get our clients ready for the increase starting in September.) Guess the easiest way is the "client aerobics" approach. You get your entire Board of Directors together, run a particularly greuling meeting, then suggest we all need a little break and stretch period before going further. You ask them all to stand, turn around and bend over, then you quickly put the memo announcing the increase on the top of the agenda and make a motion to accept it!)
TTFN
-30-
Yeah it's summer in Florida, the return of the indigenous "Southern Redneck" to the area once again. And it seems they are back with a vengence this year!
Some thoughts as they randomly pop into my head walking about or TRYING to drive on my roads;
"Shit,..one guys bathing suit could be made into at least ten of the female type worn by 12 year old Brittany wannabes!"
"At almost $3 a gallon for gasoline how does the asshole 17 year old afford to run the "monster truck" in the lane next to me with, judging by the sound and blood dripping from my ears, a stereo system which could create tsunami waves if turned up on a beach!"
"And I can't think of anything more disgusting than some teeny boppers Mom in the string bikini with a see-through mesh beach coverup coming into the restaurant for dinner together! You lost that 15 year old figure four kids ago! Try some personal pride and dress like the 40 something year old that you are!"
"Oh,.. and let's not forget the entire families on vacation. "please check your brains at the door, your Pastor is not here." Rather than tables in a number of cases troughs would be more appropriate!"
"Yup! The American Medical Association was 110% correct, the majority of Americans are obese. Shit they must "roll" some of those kids around."
"Ok, I'm an old fart, and the backwards ball caps drove me nuts, but now the cockeyed angles are even worse. I'm not sure if the retard wearing it is just stupid, auditioning for a part in the next drive by shooting in LA, or hasn't got a clue and thinks it's "kool"."
"Does any manufacturer of automobiles make anything smaller than a 'honkin'' SUV or Hummer look-a-like anymore?"
"What is the thing with Oysters? They are slimey, raw, carry at least two hundred different kinds of bacteria, some of which can REALLY make you a sick puppy, and are the eqivalent of eating giant boogers! Yet these folks slurp 'em down like nothing. In fact Busters has revived an old tee shirt the sold years ago it says "Shuck'em, Suck'em,...Bark like a dog!" (Duh! How lame is that?"
"A brand new beautification program on the entire three mile strech of highway including pedestrian crosswalks, strategically placed and calulated to the inch by highly paid traffic engineers, and with new flashing strobe alerts in the road itself carefully placed to hit the oncoming vehicle drivers right in the eye and get thier attention to watch for the crossing pedestrians. Three months they've been in , every day I drive the road, and not once (And I am serious!) have I seen a pedestrian even step into the crosswalk, or the flashing light go off (wonder what color they are?). After that much money spent just let us locals "bag a few" stupid folks who probably think a crosswalk is some new piece of art deco sidewalk art!!
It's time to go to work, (oops! take my high blood pressure medication first, lest I "pop" a vein just driving to my office today!)
Gotta get back in the habit of writing more often.
Sorry for the rant.
Big meeting this morning, the owner wants to discuss "contract fees" with us lowly "providers of service" (Roughly translated this is a meeting where he pisses and moans about losing money and how the rates are going to have to go up at least 25% so we better get our clients ready for the increase starting in September.) Guess the easiest way is the "client aerobics" approach. You get your entire Board of Directors together, run a particularly greuling meeting, then suggest we all need a little break and stretch period before going further. You ask them all to stand, turn around and bend over, then you quickly put the memo announcing the increase on the top of the agenda and make a motion to accept it!)
TTFN
-30-
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