"And then,....and then,..."

Ok, a toughy for you!!

So it's Friday evening, I'm on my first galss of "Jacob's Creek Recerve Shiraz 1993", after four Guinness at my favorite pub, got my headphones on, listening to a "holosync" recording called "Quietude". I am inspired to write! Therefor you are inspired to read, (I hope)
So what are you ambitions in life? Not a dude to cuddle with, nor a better job, nor a "love me for who I am", but deep down inside, WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE, AND HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO PRECIEVE YOU?
Tough question, YES. But really who are you?
I love blogging, and I've met a whole lot of folks who are human, just like me. But you know what? We never talk about who we really are, what we really want to be, or what we would sacrifice to be that person we see in our our mindseye!

OK, I'll start.
I'm 62 years old, I'm way short of who and what I thought I'd be at this piont in my life. Am
I sorry I'm not "where I want to be" now, yes and no.
My "goal" when I was in my 30's was to build a company sufficiently to enable me to retire and live off the income for the rest of my life.
The reality, "I got shafted!", I've lost over $1.5 million dollars, for a number of reasons, but the bottom line is I'm here now, life goes on, and in the language of the bumper sticker, "Shit happens!" Am I bitter, I was then (1992), was I disappointed when another $800,000 went bye bye in 1996, shit your're kidding me, ...of coourse I was!" But like the bumper sticker says , "SHIT HAPPENS!"
But I'm getting old enough now, (62), that I can appreciate the reality of this "big Blue Marble"! It's all about personal survival. I am a survivor!
Drop me on my head, take away my "stuff", humiliate me in front of my friends, I WILL SURVIVE! But do not FUCK with my integrity, that is beyond reality, it's beyond discussion, it is the very core of who I am! DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IMPUNING IT!
Got to go, but you get my "drift" on this!
Sorry, I've got a big meetiong with the nmemisis group I've come to regard as slightly left of Atilla the Hun tomorrow.
Stay tuned for the adventures of "moi"
-30-