"Times up,....put down your pencils!"

Yep! That's what's running through my head today. So off we go to write about it,( and whereever my mind goes during this writing period!)
Ok, I mentioned this correspondance course I've got to have completed and be tested on by the 24th of March. You know the one I've been procrastinating on doing since last September! It's not that it's difficult, or even trying, but it is a redundant testing procedure that bugs me! First I have to pick a proctor (test overseer) from this book they provided with the course. (No problem, there's one about ten miles from the house.) Next I have to notify, er, excuse me, "ask" the proctor if he would be interested in accomodating me and giving me the exam. (Still no problem because these proctors have all reached the pinnicle of my profession accreditation wise and they would no sooner think of giving you a "free ride" than the Doctor who is ok with overlooking your 3 pack a day cigarette habit during your annual physical!) Then I have to fill in the proctors name, address and phone number and mail it back on the appropriate form to the national headquarters of this particular accreditation group. (Again, piece of cake!) Then in ten days, after checking with the proctor that he has agreed and will administer the test, oversee it, make sure I don't cheat, etc.etc. the National place will send him the test directly to his home addresss so I can't even steam it open, or better yet use my X-ray vision on the envelope. (Hmmmm, let's see, I'm into this for $395 for the course, 37 cents for the letter to them telling them who was going to be my proctor, not bad so far!) The proctor tells me when he has the test, I make an appointment within ten days after that and take the test. He then signs hos life away vowing on his first born's life and whatever else is sacred that it was properly administered, he witnessed me take it, he has copies of my driver's licence to accompany this test I completed, and his professional reputation and accreditation will be "pulled" if it ever happens that he lied, I cheated, and/or anything else "improper" occured. (Whew!!! Glad that's all done.)
Now he mails it back to the national office, they grade it, and in about two weeks I get the word by mail, pass or fail, no grade, just pass/fail.(Great, now I know, but now, as Paul Harvey says, "the rest of the story".)
IF I pass this test I then get the privelege of driving about 90 miles to an outside independant testing service and taking another computerized test on the same material! The only good news is that is an "instant grade" and I know within 60 seconds of handing in my "pass card" which allowed me to log on to the computer to take the test in the first place, then my driver's licience picture forwarded to the testing center from the national accreditation center, who got it from the original proctor, and they compare that to my licience by asking me to show it to them after I finish the test and put a "code" into the computer, and "voila" in ten seconds it says "Pass" or "Fail" and they print me a copy at the same time it is electronically sent back to the National Acreditation center!You still with me here? So you think it's over now? Nope!,..read on.
Then I get to fill out a ten page form, have it notarized by my employer, send a copy of my State issued licience for my profession, read and sign off on a four page "Code of Ethics" of my profession, and send it to the National Office. Oh yeah, I forgot the Cashiers Check for two hundred and fifty bucks that "must be enclosed to be considered". THEN in about four weeks I get a congratulations letter authorizing me to put the four little letters of certification after my name. (Oh by the way I get to renew them every other year for on $150, and by the way since I'm getting two professional acreditations double the money!!
The good news is that my Company will pop for $500 for each accreditation I get so all is not lost, and I break even on the "Dollars". But as the National Center always says, "This acreditation will show your professional credentials as certified nationally and increse your earning capacity by at least 50%"
I'm thrilled,....did anyone tell my boss that? Or is groveling and threatening still the best way to get a raise?
In two more years of experiance, two more courses (which I'll have both completed in the next six months) I get to be the "top gun" designation in my field, sort of the Phd. of property management "professionals"
If my timing is right the "Inside a vicious racket" expose I'm writing in my spare time and that designation will both come within the same month! Then we'll see which pays more being a "highly respected, nationally recognized professional" , or the "deep throat" of an industry.
Any bets?
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