Me,"Tex", and world problems solved

This will be brief because I overslept this morning and don't have my usual hour of blog time.
Yesterday i was talking with a guy called "Tex" from guess where? Right, Texas! And we solved the immigration problem once and for all.
Let everyone come to anywhere they want, but if you do then YOUR government has to pay for you. We'll design little "cities" of inflatable buildings, parks, stores, restaurants, even a little "city council" of your fellow (fill in the blank). We will let the Latinos live and join together in their cultures, the Asians in thiers, the Eastern Europeans in thiers, etc., etc. What we will do is simply send Mexico, China, Estonia, and Moscow the bill for the entire city operation!
How much more simple could it be? All the corporations that need workers could offer jobs at the local City Center. We take a Walmart and partner with them and have a 24/7 Job Mart within the store so you can find a job you want and be interviewed in your own community for it and not by others.
If each country were to be treated like a Company, and had to support it's "employees" as well as it's own objectives this thing might just work. If a country does not support it's people coming into our country to work then we just pull the plug on thier inflatable city and everyone gets deported back home.
Sure folks have a right to better thier existence, I'm all for that, but if you leave your own country to find that better existence in mine then I'm all for your government paying for it. There are some really strange feelings on this whole immigration thing. We love the Canadians coming here because they bring money and spend it, while Mexicans bring "sweat equity". Both valuable commodities, but why are we pleased and tolerable of one, and railing about the other?
I could throw out some more comments, but time for work, and paying the bills.
-30-

Oh the age we live in,...it's GREAT!!!!

My wife always reminds me that sometimes simple things are the most pleasant and memorable,...and once again she's right!
I have discovered the musical download, and the "upgrade" advantage of the one that came with my 'puter. ("Summer in the City" blasting out now!!!!) Not to rant about being an old fart, but I have sort of been "Yeah, ok, good for you"-ing the folks with the little ear buds and ipods dangling around thier neck, but now it's starting to make a little more sense to me. But let me slow down my enthusiastic rant and back up to the beginning. I probably should have named this blog "You CAN teach an old dog new tricks!"
I was settling in today, Sunday, to just do some old fashion reading from a new book I picked up this morning at Barnes and Noble (local national chain book purveyor), and then I remembered I wanted to cancel an auto-payment I had set up in my computer, so I went up do do it. (That was four hours ago! sigh!) I wanted to listen to some music so I stuck a Mozart CD in and turned it on. While I was waiting for the "parade of icons" to finish and the "scanning" crap I decided I really wasn't in the mood for Mozart today. What I really wanted was some ass-kicking 60's acid flashback Woodstock stuff. I am feeling my late teens and twenties today!
I started fooling around with a few of the buttons and hit a "music store" one to then be confronted by all these album covers(oop's showing my age,.."CS" covers),... but I didn't have a clue who the hell they were! (Why would you call your group "smashing pumpkins"? Beats the shit out of me!) I clicked on a couple and found out I could get "samples" of the tunes. (Okay so I was wincing and writhing in pain and confusion trying to figure out what they were saying and, I use this next word lightly, "playing". Then a few of my synapses must have hit as a lightbulb over my desk flickered and a voice said, "Hmmmm! You think they have any of the "good old music"?" A few more buttons and I was in Nirvana (not the rock group, the place, or state of mind.) And there before me was a varitable smorgasboard of musical history from the 60's!!! The Troggs, the Birds, The Monkeys, The REAL Jefferson Airplane, The Doobie Brothers, The Mama's and the Papa's, The Moody Blues, Van Morrison, and MY 60's!
I learned to a) download a tune, b) put it in a playlist, and most cool of all c) "burn" my own CD for the car!! Now I can blow down the road with "China Grove" blasting, the Eric Burdons "House of the Rising Sun" , and "Nights in White Satin",...man I can't wait for my little property tour this afternoon. (Got to out go by and just check on my properties and make sure they are still standing, didn't burn down or get torn up too bad by the tourists to try and head off the Monday morning,"Do you know what happened over here over the weekend?" e-mails and calls. The ones I manage I mean! I left "wealthy" back at the starting gate of life. Maybe I'm a little too "zen" to really give a shit about amassing wealth,...besides I'm 62 it's basically too late unless I decide to start knocking over banks. And after watching a couple episodes of CSI I know damn well I'd be caught, convicted and with my luck get to play "house" with some Bubba for the next 15 to 20 years! Naw, I guess I'll just stay sort of straight and narrow in that respect.
Back on track (sorry!) But I'm thrilled with my new find and my own "personalized" CD's,...hmmm, I wonder how those little iPod things work and if they are that easy, and what they cost? (I suppose I could ask my granddaughter who I know is home becasue she's "grounded" this week, but won't tell my wife (her grandmother) why she's grounded. Frankly as much as we love her I really believe there are some things I really don't need to know!
Well I better head out and check my stuff and see if this CD is as good in the car with the volume turned up as it is here in "the pit"
Happy Monday everyone, only five days of insuffereable pain, managment maddness, co-worker ineptitude, and client attitude until we get to kick back, order a pint, and "get over it"

-30-

Whizzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!

That was time, God it just flys by like a rocket!
I don't have enough time for a full blog (OK, I heard that "Thank God!"), but I wanted to dash off a few lines.
A few blogs ago I wrote about "the pit", a/k/a my computer room. Well I finally got it cleaned up,...sort of. Still got to move a couple bookcases, change the location of a file cabinet, etc., but I did make a marvelous discovery that the "desk tops" actually were not made of piled up papers,.. it just seemed like it.
Men like to "celebrate" what we consider "major accomplishments". (OK, so any excuse to buy a new "guy toy"!) In honor of cleaning up the pit, I decided that the size and weights of some of my computer components were just huge and bulky, and (using male logic again here so bear with me) if I were to reduce the physical size and weight,well... then the pit would forever stay neat and organized!! (What? You have a hard time with logic?)
So after my second glass (or as the wife calls my "special wine glass", "the Bucket", I remember passing over a Dell catalogue, so I began to thumb through it and look for ways to make my computer room more "effiecient".
"HHHmmmmm!, if I got rid of the huge albatross TV moniters, and replaced them with the light efficient and super flat panel screens,....yes, ...now where is that toll free telephone number for Dell.
Yep, I found it, dialed it, and why is it no matter what you want, and no matter how damned disciplined you try and be about the whole thing,...does ONLY the item you ask about seem to be the "Oh wait a minute here,..I see we are having a super special, clearance discount, preferred buyers only , "thank you offer",.. would you like me to tell you about it? ( Sort of like the old, "Would you mind if I slipped into something a little more comfortable,...like skin?") You know it's already over so how much and when will it be delivered!
Now as a happily married dude for almost forty years the first thing that happens is you have a flashback to a role reversal shot of an old "I love Lucy" episode, where for whatever reason Ricky Ricardo comes home and in his Cuban accent says, "Luceee, you got some 'splainin' to do!"
(Oh yeah, the wife will be at home when the delivery guy comes this week. Good news, I'll be at the office. She'll get a bit cranked up, probably call me with a "What is this thing from Dell, do you really think you need another 'TOY'?" (Becasue we don't have camera phones yet she won't see the wicked smirk on my face as I say "What thing from Dell?" folled by a very pregnant pause and then an "Oh yeah, my old moniter is blinking in and out and so I thought it might be a good time to,...oh so it came today?" (Male logic again, always end with a question, regardless of the discussion, it lies waiting to be answered, there in is the trap. If she begins to rant you simply re-direct the conversation back to your question, "So what time did they deliver it?" , again trying to control the situation, or as they say in corporate circles, "applying damage control, and spinning it a bit". If all else fails and you (as the male) reach the dreaded conclusion that you might be a little "over the top" in terms of containment and "acceptable spin", and perhaps it will be a very chilly evening when you get home, then you MUST pull out the Ace in the hole, the trump card, and at great personal risk, then interrupt whatever she is saying to insert the ultimate female rage and anger mode neutralizer,..."Listen, I got a little bonus and I thought I'd surprise you by taking you out to (insert name of expensive restaurant with HUGE, chocolate drowned desserts and low lighting and romatic ambience),...I already made the reservation,...I told them seven, is that ok with you?"
If there is a cool pause, you are halfway there. Wait a few seconds and then do the "Oh shit, I've got a call on the other line, I'll call you back in ten minutes, then let me know if seven is ok,...love you, bye."
IMPORTANT FOLLOW UP POINT: If you do not call back you will be in mega-deep shit, so don't even think about going home because now you have bought "needless" toys, promised chocolate, romance, and ambiance,...and bailed, and just about added enough fuel to things to assure your butt is the main ingrediant for a bar-b-que!
Got to go, work calls and I'm ranting a bit more than I have time to today!

-30-

Here comes the "annual stress crunch"

Ready for an all-new first here it is, this will be the first blog ever written about touching the keyboard whatsoever, and so how cool is that! Being one of the new techie kind people I recently updated a program that I'd bought about a year ago called Dragon speaking naturally to a newer version, and I just had time to install it this afternoon. I'm still training the program to recognize my speech accent and speech patterns and then converted into something that looks like English on the written screen but it's coming along it's not a slow learner as I thought it would be all I have to do is remember to turn on the microphone and headset on and then just sit here and talk to the screen I used to do that after couple beers.
Anyway I bought this program and in the hopes I can sit down and do some writing without having to be thinking about where I'm putting my stupid little fingers of the words come out correctly on the screen as one of the biggest pains in the but when you try to stop and think about which are actually wanting to put down the paper and then where the keys are that you have to hit to make that happen. So far this little jewel is working pretty well in fact I'm really quite pleased with it, well on to what's going on today in my little world

the wife is working to six clock and then we have to go to a potluck dinner at the local church where she sings in the choir because they just finished a successful concert this past week. Usually the food at these things is pretty good but the recipes are never around so you have to whittle the next one to get good stuff again. This afternoon I'm sitting here my computer looking at all these disks and CDs that are lying all over the place and wondering which ones have what on them and what they go to. Since I bought two new Dell computers in the last year or so I've got multiple copies of the Dell restoration software all of the place and I'm not sure which one is which, plus all the programs and junk have been putting on the system are scattered about with manuals installation instructions and all kinds of other stuff. So I'm going to straighten them out make a make sense file amid the little organized piles in places where I can get at them if I need them. In a way it's so depressing because I really like to think I'm organized but have them retentions span of ant when it comes to doing this kind of stuff. Okay now to see if I can fake out in this computer wreck voice recognition software this would be the sound of a cough(pretty cool it didn't do anything!) Later on this evening after have a couple beers all see if it recognizes a belch and what it prints out, I guess I'm pretty pleased with this thing.

And

the college football season is in full swing here in the US and particularly the South East. Being a Northerner I'm more into the professional football than college, but if you live here in the South the better get into college or you got nothing to talk about. So yesterday afternoon after I learned that my favorite college team, Boston College, and won its third straight game and was undefeated I had to sit and endure an Auburn LSU game. Even sitting in my favorite pub with a piney Guinness and a couple of intelligent friends the Auburn guys were so loud obnoxious and just plain being stupid it took all the fun out of sitting around watching the game. On the other screen and we will watching Michigan play Notre Dame and crushing them. Today being Sunday the professional games are on another down in about an hour or so and catch part of the ballgames and and chat with some more my friends. However, this being Sunday afternoon in the United States the number one fan attendance and "sport" for three out of four Sundays a year is NASCAR!! (We had a big argument one day about automobile racing and whether or not these guys driving were really athletes. The bartender, a good friend of mine Glen made the comment "how hard is it to keep your foot on the gas and turn left for four hours? You think that's athletic!" Of course some of the local NASCAR affection (ha ha I caught the machine I told it to put in affectionados and it put in affection not a house) and some of these folks here in the South take this NASCAR very very seriously, but I can asssure you I'm not one of them. Sure I play the pool every week put in my five dollars and draw are a driver but that's simply little bet not a passionate love of the sport(can I say sport?)

Well so much for my little tule I'm not getting anything done them not putting away any of the disks and jewel cases that I have hanging around so I guess I should probably and this blog go back cleaning up (sigh!) Well is fun and I may do this again from time to time but for right now I'm not totally convinced that the blogging this is the best way to do it so with that I hang up my microphone and turn it back over to the keyboard have a great week I've got a super busy week coming up so I probably won't beginning on the blog too much this week. Oh, and I'm mulling over the temptation to join the national chess Federation again I like to play chess unfortunately there aren't too many people it do we know how to play these days under my age my buddy security guard Mike (we call him that when in fact he's one of those independent contractors that you read about in the world currently he's in Bosnia and this is like his fifth time over there when he is home he and I usually trying get together a couple days a week and play a few games of chess)

-30-

God, does time fly!!!!!

It just seems like yesterday I published a blog!! But in fact it was almost a week ago! So what's been happening since I last wrote?
My "Administrative Assistant" (a/k/a/ secretary), quit, (not because of me, but the fact that selling "would you like fries with that?", paid more! (Not my call! I'd haver paid her triple to stay! She was like a wife, "Tom, are you going to ge that done today, the statutes stay it has to be done by mail out time?" "Yes Mindy, I got it covered!" (mental aside...."shit, she's right it has to be post marked by tonight,...damn, gotta get it done!!).
We as men are such "SHITS" , I am a man, but in fact I realize the "system" makes us "better", but the fact is Mindy was my "partner", NOT my "administrative assistant"!!!
God I miss her!!
Men are a funny species! We love to be the "hunter" when in fact we look forward more to the "God, what a great supper this will make!" from our mates. (Sorry guys, five Guinness's and a relaxing evening spell "THE TRUTH"!!
I NEED an alter-ego, a detail person who knows where the commas should be, the strength of the coffee for the meeting, and has the GUTS to signal me to "shut up" when I'm on a rant!!
I am a guy who not just appreciates my "support people", but knows they are the folks that either make me look like "the second coming of Christ", or "the lunatic asylum escapee". God love the support staff,...I do, they make me or break me!!
Anyhow, Mindy was perhaps the most organized and on top of things people I've ever had the priviledge of working with, (no lie, just oure truth!) For a twenty-five year old she had it all together, knew how to "ring my bell" when it needed to be rung,"Hey Tom, aren't we supposed to have that notice posted today, by law??", God I miss her!!!
That's one of the problems today in business, We are not the "guru's" we think we are, it's our "support team" that makes us HERO'S!!! Mindy, Thank you for being you, supporting me, and having the "guts" to look for a better future for you and your "guy"!!
Love you and miss you!!
Alec

(Every once in a while the heart goes above the "mind", it's been a "bad" week and it never was when Mindy was in charge!! What else can I say?)

-30-

"Saturday, ...in the park..you'd think it was the 4th of July"

Just a rampant thought whizzing through the brain as I waited for the blog screen to come up. (The title that is).
This is the first Saturday in perhaps ten years where I don't have to go anywhere, be anywhere, or do anything! I'm FREE!!! Down to just one job again(Monday thru Friday) , things seem to be cooking along smoothly and all. So let's review class.
The "Pit" is almost too messy for me at this point. Every time i come up here to write, play, etc. that little voice in my head says "Yo, why don't you clean it up a bit?", and occassionally my wife will stick her head in and perhaps with a little moreforcefulness say something like "Aren't you ever going to clean this shit hole up and throw some of this junk in the trash?" But how can I do that? It's all valuable "stuff". (A slight aside, ever listen to George Carlin's monologue on "Stuff"? It's a classic, give it a shot)
Ok, since I have time I'll give you the tour of the "Pit" with the relative commentary. "Please keep both hands inside the bus as some of the objects out there can be dangerous. And do not throw anything out the window as it will further confuse me as to it's "keeper" value".
First , as we approach the entry to the "Pit" you'll notice the brown cardboard box on the floor, that's the "computer stuff" box. Anything I have that I don't have a clue what it is, but it's a device, a cable, a non-music CD, a manual, or a cord is there. (Ever need anything help yourself I don't know what's in there until I really need it, but I know it's there!) Moving beyond the archway and into the, ok for lack of a better word "room" you'll find the love seat. Define please? It may be called a setee or something like that. kind of a mini-couch, only big enough for two people to sit on, not even big enough for one to lay down on, and who ever dreamed up the name "love seat"? You'd probably break your back or your partners back in six places if you tried to make "love" on it! However it's a great "place" (oh, definition again: space utilized to be full of stuff of some sort. Let's see whats there, oh, black and white pictures I took years ago of woods and trees in winter. (Look's like location shots for the "Blair Witch Project") , oh, theres the magazines I was looking for last spring (should have move this stuff around then!) and there is a place I can actually sit down and read quietly with my stereo in the background.
What's a ballot box doing here? Oh, yeah when I had to do that meeting last year and they were electing officers. Well I don't need it now so I should throw it out,...oh, look, thta's where my boxed set of Jimmy buffet CD's are, under the file folders with the rubber band on them. (Wonder what's in these folders? "DON"T DO IT, YOU'LL GET SIDETRACKED, JUST KEEP THROWING THE JUNK IN THE TRASH BOXES" wafts an encouraging comment from my wife as she recognized the decrease of "work noise"from her office in the next room. "But I might need these, you know?" "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE, THROW THEM OUT!"
(That's part of living with the same woman for almost forty years, they can see through walls better than Superman, damn...ok out they go but if I ever need them again it's her fault if we don't have them! Alright so I don't have a clue what they are or what's in them, but they could be something I need!)
Aaaah, another old friend, my CD and cassette storage shelves,...oh, there's the "Cat's" Cd, and my new age meditation tapes, hmmm , maybe I should try using them again, that was a very peaceful time when I was trying to learn meditation, "I'll just set these aside for later", oh and all my Irish music tapes and CD's, man that's memories! I really loved owning that little pub, "The Emerald Rose", maybe do it again? No, not worth the heartache nor the hangover, (free advise to the world: never open a pub unless you want to spend your entire life 24/7 there, because if you don't even the most honest of employees will steal you blind and pretty soon you're looking at the numbers and saying "how come we're loseing money?" (sigh! but it was a lot of fun anyway!)
And now we are approaching the "bag corner" an eclectic collection of briefcases, small carboard boxes, and plastic store bags of all sizes from every purchase made that's in this room. (Oh look the original Palm Pilot I box from 1996!, And isn't that,...yup, it's the box of envelopes they were throwning out four years ago that I thought I might be able to use, hmmm they are all glues together, ok I'll pitch them out. See I'm trying to clean it up!)
Ooops, tripped over the old Apple pile. That is the CPU, moniter, keyboard, one button mouse and the zip drive. (Hmmm, I have room on the computer desk, and there is another port left in the router I can use, and the HP laser printer says it supports Apple as well..... Ok I'll set it up tomorrow afternoon and see if it still works. (slight aside, the little batttery in an Apple that keeps the ROM active, when it wears down the date on the screen will automatically default to June 16, 1956. Now there's some trivia for you! Rumor has it that was either Steve Jobs or Wozniak's birthday.)
Ok folks we are going to be stopping here for a while for breakfast, please watch your step exiting the bus, and remember smoking is allowed only outside the building. Please do not leave the path and go straight to the table in the kitchen. If you should hear any stiffled screams or anguished crys than you'll kn ow why it's critical you stay on the path. Just like you they all signed the hold harmless waiver for the tour, and who knows maybe I will get this cleaned up to the degree that we may find a few of them, still alive.
Don't forget to stop at the gift shop on the way out, we rteally do expect a gift from each of you for this informative and valuable tour. See you all back at the bus after breakfast!

What drugs?

After I posted my last entry to this blog I went and read it. "DUH!!!" I don't do drugs (NO beer is not a drug, it is simply an attitude adjustment elixer of all natural ingredients given to the world by the wizened old sages of virtually every society know by mankind. Don't even go there or I'll have to kill you!)
I'm in an exceptionally good mood this afternoon and all I've had is three Iced teas so far! So maybe I do a "tag" thing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but GBE has led me to believe (see I learn from "lurking") that a "tag" is when you challenge others to respond or act in a manner rather spontaneously to a question, or series of requests that you have already responded too. (Did I get that right GBE?)
Well whether I did or not let me throw a few out and see!
1. Name your favorite tune that reflects a specific referance to a city?
For me, it's got to be a tune called "Dirty Water" from the sixties that refers to
Boston Massachusetts in the USA (my own old hometown)
2. If you had to be a "drink" what would you be and why?
For me a Guinness (gee surprised?) because aside from being almost a "health food"
it's a piece of history, history of my ancestors, my heritage, and a hard working
peoples who indeed work for a living!
3. How many pair of shoes is necessary for the human being to go through a week?
For me, 3, good loafers for work, sneakers (sorry younger generation, old term for
running shoes), and Birkenstocks for the rest of the times over the next twenty
years.
4. What are you having for supper tonight?
Steak, baked potato, veggies (thinly sliced zucchini, summersquash, onions, and
Italian seasoning, sauteed), a glass of Shiraz (possibly two, ok maybe even three if
it's good!)
5. Do you have a favorite cup or glass you always drink out of? Describe it.
A HUGE coffee mug that says "BlabTV" on it. In the morning when I get up to go to
my 'puter and play and wake up, I want a HUGE cup of coffee that will stay hot,
that I can wrap my hand around, and just reeks of "this will kick your sorry butt
into wide awake, drink up"
6. Ever hear of Christy Moore?

Well enough for now. It's about three PM Sunday afternoon, the wife is heading off to chior practice, I have to swing by my office and pick up some stuff I need for a Board meeting tomorrow morning, drop off a hedge trimmer to a buddy, and skull a few pints at the pub.
See you later.

-30-

PLEASE help me out here!

One of the blogs I read regularly has a really neat thing on it, what's called a "Guest map". My little mouse thing "light up" when I went over it, sooooo...I clicked on it. Lo and behold an entire map of the world popped up, with various "buttons" on the top, ..."slowly I clicked on them,..", only to find out I could "plant a little flag" (or little cartoon dude) anywhere on the map, and write a brief comment i.e. "Hey this is cooool!"
Anyway I found out it's a free little thing you or anyone can put on thier blogsite and people visiting you can put little cartoon dudes, or flags on it as well. (Note: As far as I am aware there is no way to "trace" anybody back to anything and this is just a "fun thing") So I put it on my blogsite, in the side bar (little icon of a globe on a stand that says "see Guest map" or something to that effect.
I've been waiting patiently for over a month and no one has even hit on it,sooooo I am asking for a little help here. If you read my blog, please click on the "see guest map" globe on the right hand side and please leave a flag or cartoon dude. PLEASE!!!
Why? Because I am in awe of the entire internet thing, not to mention the "blog" thing. The mere fact that I can sit here, type whatever I want, hit a button, and BAM! it's out there for the entire world to see!! Both civilized world as well as un-civilized world (that would be very barren, cold, snowy, icey "shit holes" you would never find ME living in!)
So help me out here and plant a flag, tell your friends to plant a flag(and read the blog as well), and enjoy life to it's fullest!
See, no rant, no rave, no emotions, no scholarly dissertations, no dirty jokes, and minimal profanity.
"It's true Igor, I am changing! Quick get Doctor Frankenstein the drugs are wearing off,.....and while you're at it bring another six pak."
-30-

A Blog about a blog

Redundancy, mais non! A few months ago I started reading a blog called antilogy, it's on my side bar of other blogs read, or www.theantilogy.blogspot.com. It's written by a pretty smart young lady who writes well, has a super personality, and poses interesting things to think about.
Recently she posed the question of the boys hitting on the girls versus the girls hitting on the boys, and boy did the blog world jump on it. If I figure out how to "link" it to this I most certainly will so you can enjoy it as well.
But her point is not unique to the "twenty-something generation", but extends to us "oldsters" as well. Many evenings my mates and I would sit at our favorite Pub and particularly during the summer (beach community, 100 degree temps, 100% humidity, etc.) the quantity of clothing is at best minimal, and that includes going out for a beer, or a bite to eat! This provided obvious "eye candy". Now not in the spirit of the proverbial "dirty old man" (because many of the women local"mates" spend just as much time checking out pec's and biceps, and for some reason after a few pints, a guys butt, and I don't hear them called "dirty old women"!) But I diverse.
On many occasions we've chatted about this entire thing as sixty year olds, and here's a few comments for you.
Bob E. (63 divorced, retired, serious golfer)- "I'm trying to uncomplicate my life, not complicate it again! I just want someone I can talk to, be myself, go have dinner with, chat and take back to her house at the end of the night and say good night. Not a "committment", not a sex thing, not a "when will I see you again" thing,...just a "Hey, why don't we go have dinner Friday night,..on me."
Mark R. (64, single, handyman, "gamer")- "I'm getting way to old (64)for these mind game things. It used to be simple. If I had an itch I'd go scratch it, now it's a scary thought and it's easier to not even go there, and put up with the itch".
Bob G. - (62, married, workaholic,"aka Mr. G.) - "I don't know if I'd even want to think about jumping back into the pot again. I don't know what's expected any more, or from whom. I've been married so long I've never really thought about it seriously."
Kiddingly I've said that if anything ever really happened to my wife, aside from being totally lost for a bunch of time afterwards, I'd just up and sell everything, buy a 45' Catamaran, hire a crew of three female blonde nympho-maniancs and head for the Islands. Sort of a Viking funeral thing.
I even asked some of my co-workers. Some neat replies there. The twenty-somethings all look at me screw up thier faces and go "eeeeuuwwww". (It's the old thing about reaching a certain age that young people(anyone under 30) thinks some aging hormone in the human body completely obliterates the entire concept of sex along with all it's trappings. (NEWS FLASH- "Old people enjoy relationships and sex too! In fact CNN did a piece recently on a retirement community here in Florida where the re-emergence of STD (sexually transmitted diseases) is rapidly on the increase. I guess they remember how to use it, but missed the "preventive maintenance procedures") My daughter used to, and even to this day, and she's 37, stick her fingers in her ears and start humming if my wife or I even mentioned the word sex within hearing range of her.
Well maybe more later, but got to get ready for another Friday push.
-30-

All Better Now!!!

It was a combination (ok about 75%) operator error, and 25% who the hell knows, but a few bucks and two glasses of Shiraz for the "computer guy" and I'm back up and running. Sorry if you were looking for a huge essay on other stuff.
This morning is one of those where it's all beginning to pile up on me, and it's only 5:30am! A good friend asked me to re-do her resume as she was approached by a bigger firm and they've just about put her name on the door, but they need a resume. Ok that was about an hour of "pilot verbige" (that's where you tke words put them together in an order that assures the reader is so in awe of the content that they simply ask if you need more money to come work for them, a/k/a BULLSHIT!!)
Now I belong to a local community service club, but work has kept me from the last four meetings (once a week for breakfast meeting on Thursday mornings). I should go today, but the platre is already overflowing! I've got 9 annual budgets to cobble together and submit to different Borad of Directors, about ten legal "proxies" to put together and get out to voters, a calendar of "Annual Meetings" that will mean about three a week for the next eight weeks in a row, a week left on the "other job" to finish and collect my 12 weeks of "severance and vacation pay", a new 42"plasma TV that I didn't even ask the tech who installed it how to make iot work and told him to show my wife. (So much for the male ego, I have surrendered the remote controller to my wife!) My Administrative Assistant just gave her two weeks notice (more money, better benefits! SHIT Sorry , slight delay while I went for cup #3 of coffee. (Not bad, three cups in 90 minutes and just coming into the full awareness mode of morning and the sun is not even up yet! Yea, I win for another day!)
See I told you I need my "Pub Experiance"!
Shit! Just remembered I have to go in to "job 2" tonight and do payroll for the troops because it's three day weekend coming up and of course the payroll department isn't working on Monday. Here's how the weekend (our Labor Day holiday) stacks up;
Friday 7:30 to 4:30 pmJob 1
5:00 to 9:30 pm Job 2
9:30 to 10:00 pm Quick pub visit
10:30pm to 5:00 am Sleep period
Saturday 5:am to 7:00 am -Surfing, blogging, caffeine intake mode
8:30am to 4 :00pm Job 2
4:00 PM to 6PM Pub Expieriance
6:00pm to 9:30pm Dinner and a movie (Date night) with my wife after she
gets out of chior at 6:00 pm
9:30 pm to (nevermind this is classified "For her eyes Only")
Sunday 6:am -extra hour sleep period (YEA!!)
7:00am to 9:00 am off to church
9:00am to 3:30 pm Clean up "the pit" prepare for Monday meeting (yeah it's a
legal holiday, but when one of my Board of Directors calls for a meeting of
the entire membership (sigh) duty call and I have to chair it and be the
referee)
3:30 pm to 5:30 pm - Pub experiance, catching up my sports scores, results,
trading "expert monday morning" knowledge on Tiger Wood's mistakes
this weekend
5:30pm to 7:30 pm - Make Sunday Dinner (My "kitchen therapy" mode!)
7:30 to 9:30pm "Boob Tube Time" (actually sitting there plannng my week
and pretending to know what's actually on the TV!
9:30 to 5:00am Sleep period
Monday 5:00 to 6:30am Surfing, blogging, caffeine intake mode
6:30 am to noon Travel and Board of Directors meeting
12:00 to 1:pm travel back to my own zip code
1:00pm to 9:00 pm Job 2
9:00 pm to 10:00pm Pub Experiance
10:00 pm to 5:00 am sleep period
Tuesday 5:00 am---aaaah, back to the regular week's toil

This is a lousy exercise! I'm already tired and I'm still twenty-four hours away from the beginning!
HEY!!! Hope y'all have a great end of the week and a fun weekend. If I didn't like working so much I'd probably be pissed off! (I am demented, but I'm on my way to some private goals which in a couple of years will make life a lot easier!
-30-

Another week battling good and evil, or a "Windows" kind of day!

Ok, so depite all the technical wizardry sitting around my "dungeon" (a loving title assigned to my computer room, or "pit" as my wife calls it) I will be the first to admit I struggle trying to keep up on these "techy" things. But on to my adventure.
I'm not even sure what I was doing, but the computer started to go crazy on me. My little Security/Virus Protection program just started multiplying. The little icon that usually sits so placidly in the bottom right hand corner of the screen with all it's other little icon buddies just started replicating itself, until at one point there were over thirty of them,...and all the other little icon buddies were no where to be seen! I figured out they were just hiding from the gang of security icons who had taken over. It was annoying, but I could live with it, for a while anyway. Then the next day as I staggered upstairs to the "dungeon" with my hot cup of coffee at 5 am to see what happened in the world while my Blackberry and I were recharging our batteries, a strange thing happened. Everything seemed to be ok but suddenly up pops this stupid window message telling me my copy of Microsoft windows was not "genuine"! Now long ago in my mis-spent childhood with computers (mostly Apple back then) I was known to have a few "bootleg" things on my 'puter. However when I was forced to become a "Windows Slave" a combination of my total fear of the blue "screen of death", all the stories and rumors about the "evil empire" of Microsoft and it's covert plan to rule the world through it's software and then it's raw power of control over people. (I had visions of whimpering little people, begging and pleading just to see the titles on thier incoming e-mails, a "Super 'puter" that charged you unilaterally set fee's for use and simply took them from your bank account, you know, things like that!) Well I cleaned up my act and absolutely refuse to have a single thing on my 'puter not approved, bought and paid for, with receipts, backups, and original disks and manuals stacked in the four foot piles here in the "dungeon". (Light just popped on, ..maybe that's why my wife calls it a pit! I think of them as reference materials but I can see where someone may think the piles are more like those stalagmites or stalagtites you find growning in caves. Note to self: try and pick up the place a bit tomorrow afternoon.)
Then it started doing it's own thing. Like downloading my e-mail and leaving it open just long enough for me to read the titles and WHAM, the whole program just closes up and is off the screen. (Yes Virginia there really are "thought police", I have seen them, they are in my 'puter this week!)
After three or four days of the usual stupid operator stuff, you know, un-install almost everything you have and hope with each "continue" button you hit the problems all miraculously go away, I had to give up. I was going to bed running mental lists of programs and installation sequences, living in fear that tomorrow would be the last time my 'puter would function, and then I'd be stranded, just like the "Survivors" on some sterile, 'puterless Island, forced to use #2 Pencils and that paper stuff. God know I've been using 'puters so long now I don't even know if I remember how to write words any more as opposed to typing them. (Note to self: check the garage and see if I kept an old typewriter as a backup or emergency stash)
By Tuesday I was desparate! Then I saw "the computer guy", our companies outside technical consultant, walking through the office. "Yo, Chris, got a minute?"
Seems he does do outside work sstuff for a fee so I grabbed him quickly and he happened to be available that evening. I had a Board of Directors meeting I couldn't get out of at 5:30 so I had him meet me in the parking lot of my office at 6:30 and we'd head out to my house to "fix" things. (First Board meeting I ever held standing up! But we got it done and I was the first one dashing out the door after the motionto adjourn was seconded.
Stay tuned for tomorrows installment as we raced through traffic to perform the emergency lobotomy on my 'puter that would save it's life and my sanity.
Is it a worm?
Is it a virus?
Is it just a stupid operator error??
Or is 'puter in deeper water that we first suspected?
Would the techy turn sadly to me after beating the keys frantically for ten minutes and simply recommend "hospice care"?
We'll all find out tomorrow!

-30-

It's getting close!!

I'm talking about a couple of things here. (Sorry, the mind is a bit fractured this week) Well let me back up a bit. I'm a very ordinary man, so why is my f#######g computer giving me shit! My little virus program "icon" which comes up in the bottom right of the screen with all the other little funky icons is behaving like a rabbit in heat chewing cases of viagra! I just looked down and there are probably twenty something of the same stinking little red "M" in the little white box. I put my mouse on one and they start disappearing, I move my mouse away and they start popping up again! AND yesterday the damn machine starts telling me I do not have a "genuine" copy of windows on my machine. I tried to get another program from the happy company, McAfee, and got an invoice saying "this is your receipt", the system says to click here to download it, which I do, it goes through all it's gyrations and says it's all done, then what happens? A little window pops up and says I may not be protected "click here", so I do, the screen says my computer files and e-mail are not protected click the "fix" button to correct this, so I do, then the little box opens and tells me "one or more problems can not be fixed becasue of an error" so what's next? Uninstall and re-install. What? everything. So first I'll uninstall the damn virus program, then download the new one I bought, noooo! "McAfee can not be completely uninstalled" (Who's running this F******G computer McAfee or Me?
If I tell you to strip and go naked you damn well better do it, I am the operator, the big kahuna, the boss, the guy who pays for the electricity you consume, the hand that feeds you, the pimp who keeps you in a fresh supply of sexy new pieces of hardware and software to use and abuse, but you are forgetting the prime directive....."DO WHAT I TELL YOU!!!!
There was a time when I would piddle and play with it and eventually get it fixed, but that was then and this is now. I'm too damn busy! Two jobs (thank God only two and a half weeks left on the old one), coming into the EXTREME busy season of the new job (more on that when I open another bottle of wine and start to feel reallllly behind the eightball), an overwhelming desire to just strangle the shit out of someone just because (attention FBI e-mail reader program, we are talking hypothetical, words used for emphasis, please read my comments to Sarah Michelle in Perth regarding my personal convictions on terrorist and random killing of human beings for verification of my stability. Thank you!)
I guess I'll be needing a short vacation, away from my high tech toys, away from the oppressive humidity, away from the idiots on the weather channel shitting green bricks about a thunderstorm off the coast of Africa and starting the subtle "gloom and doom" of the world of "eyewall speeds", dropping barometric pressure curves", and of course the ultimate "put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye" comment to raise the hysteria level about six giant clicks, "An Air Force reconnaisnace flight will be investigating later this afternoon"
Oh and if all this crap ain't bad enough the Boston Red Sux (oops! Freudian typo!) have begun thier slide into the bowels of the basement in the tables, losing FIVE games in a row to the New York Yankee's. Man ther just ain't nuthin working good around here! Oh and my last little green blood pressure pill is sitting in the jar, so that means I have to go and confront the wonderful world of the pharmacy again! Talk about an evil place!! Every time I have to go and get a prescription for my wife, or something for myself I can't help but listen to the bored clerk just slinging the little white bags up on the counter with the automatic little voice prompt "And do you have any questions for the pharmacist today?" "Yes I do, why the fuck am I paying all this money for this shit and it's been on the market for three thousand fucking years, haven't you idiots paid off the R&D costs yet?"
Every once in a while I get the "happy" phamacists assisstant who smiles and tell me to look at how much I've saved with my insurance prescription card. You want to talk "saved" how about three fingers of Jack Danials and call me in the morning! That works too and one day you just miss the wakeup call forevermore!
Well I feel a little better, having ranted appropriately for a while. Time for another cup of coffee, beating on my computer some more, then off to the wonderful world of telling the old farts who bought cheap condo's and can't afford to insure them anymore that they have no choice, just go knock off a little convienence store, or three or four, and come across with the money by the twenty-second or we'll slap a lien against you. (God it was more fun tying the gorgeous young blonde virgin to the railroad tracks and twisting the ends of my waxed little moustache and chortling with glee, than threatening these nasty ass senior, seniors. They may be old but they are vicious!!
-30-

The "Global Village"

It's a Sunday evening, 7:45 pm, and I sit here in sunny Florida in my airconditioned townhouse, waiting for my wife to finish a Chicken Tettrazinni I started for supper. (She was out at this ecumenical chior practice, while I skulled a few pints at my pub before coming home to cook supper. It's a mutual understanding thing, I don't piss and moan about her chior stuff and she doesn't piss and moan(much) about my pub time). But now onto my point!
A few minutes ago I was jotting off a reply to a blog by an "Aussie" friend of mine, Lucy. Then I clicked over to another blog by another "Aussie" named "Sarah Michelle" and popped off another reply. These women are intelligent, thinking, and have valid viewpoints on the world! A far cry from most of the "airheads" of American blogs!
I certainly hope this does not sound negative, but as a 61 year old American, I can't stand the level to which we've allowed ourselves to deteriorate!
More on my rant after dinner, check back tomorrow!
Peace and common sense forever!
-30-

techie toys and gizmos!

I live dangerously through technology! In other words I guess my "hobby" is getting "stuff" for my computers (yup 3 of them. First one that says nerd or geek is going straight to hell!) The sad thing is I love the little gadgets and things that go with them!
About six months ago I bought a software program that let's you talk to your computer and it prints it, is that cool or what? I figured the Great American Novel was within my grasp. You have to read to your computer and the program studies your accent, inflections etc and "gets it right" (of course being from New England and the material to read to the machine being John F. Kennedy's Inaugural Address my accent was a shoo in!
Well yesterday I acquired a business card scanner! That is cool, it's supposed to scan the business card, differentiate the name, phone numbers etc and plug them in to my Microsoft Outlook address book. Guess I'll play with that this week.
And what hi-tech toy dude would be complete without a "Blackberry", or as some refer to it, a "crackberry" (yeah it is addictive as hell, and ok my wife is right I need to get a hobby!!)
I like to think I'm on the front line of communication and efficiency in business. (I said I like to think I am, remember those words!)
Included in my never-ending pursuit for "teckky toys" I've even added a few to my blog page. If I may direct your attention to the right hand side of the page as you scroll down you will see a little "button" that says "Guest map" or something to that effect. If you click on it a screen comes up of a world map, another "pop up" comes up with instructions. Give it a shot! It letsd you plant a flag in the area you are viewing my blog from. So far it's only me and the programmers that wrote the program on there. I'm real curious who on this big blue marble is reading my rantings and stuff. (If you want ot get one for yourself click on the other button to the right of the map one and it will take you to the sight where you too can be the proud owner of a map,...best of all it's free!!!)
Well, off to frolic in the property management business and see what earthshaking emergencies occur this day, whilest I develop budgets for at least three of my properties for next year, try and "update" my report for the Boss units that's due every friday to insure my "continued employment options" with the firm. "But of course the hole in your screen is a catastrophic situation, Mrs. Jones. I mean my God at least a dozen gnats could come in the window in the next few days!" (Well I guess it doesn't mattter if the gaping hole in the roof gets fixed today after all it's sunny, got to get someone on the hole in the screen!)
Summers almost over and the eastern european kids who invaded for summer jobs are beginning to go home, not much left here, just the illegal immigrant Mexican landscaping folks. (They go shopping on Sunday, and it's almost amusing to watch. They pool thier money to get the food, and you can tell them easily they have the three heaping shopping carts actually overflowing and more tortillas than I thought the store even stocked! The Mexican food section has gone from a scant two shelves to over 16 feet of six high shelves, and by Sunday evening it's stripped bare!
Well, I'm off like a prom dress to go fight the forces of common sense and dignity, and trying to explain the difference between the spirit of the rule, and the actual meaning scribed on the page.
Oh, got to call my "beaver killer" today as well. One of my places has a problem with the pesky little engineers building dams and screwing up the entire manmade ecosystem causing the water in the lakes which are the street "run-off" from rains and sprinkler systems which were designed to flow into the lake, to in fact be doing the reverse. (After one particularly heavy rain fall last week I got an e-mail form a resident who claimed to be "trapped" in his home because the water was so high. Gee,...hope he got out ok!)
Have a nice day, I'll try!
-30-

Oh my, a whole day off!!

Yep, got a whole day off, Sunday! My wife is working for the day so I'm just well, on my own!
Planning the day has been relatively easy. I sort of work it backwards and everything falls into place, watch;
9:30 pm - another long week ahead, time to try an get some extra sleep before Monday to make up for that which I won't get in the Monday to Friday timeframe. (Usually it all works out and if you take the total sleep for the week, divide it by the number of days in the week, it usually works out to 5 1/2 to 6 hours a night!)
7:30 - 9:30 watch the "boob tube" (a/k/a television) couldn't tell you what was on as I was doing my mental planning of the entire week with the sonar positioned to the automatic "un-huh" mode when my wife asks a question or comments on something. It's sonar becasue it works the same way. She "pulses out" something, and I "ping" it back. Something like this, "Did you remember to take out the trash and clean out the kitty litter boxes?"(That is a "pulse out"),
"un-huh", (that's a "ping"!) See how easy it is?
7:00 - 7:30pm - eating dinner ("What did you put on this chicken? It tastes like chinese food. And why are the vegetables all whimpy?)
6:15 - 7:00 pm - sipping a lovely Cabernet with just a hint of tannin more than it should.
5:00 - 6:15 pm - "Let's see what's in this cook book that's kind of exotic sounding that I can whip up for the wife with chicken and some veggies. This one looks pretty good except I don't have all those spices,...aw hell I'll improvise, after all how many episodes of the Iron chef have I watched? Some of that shit must have sunk into my subconscious!"
3:00 - 4:45 pm - Pub time!! (So many Guinness, so little time!!!!)
2:00-3:00 pm - Why won't the damn thing work? I followed the damn directions! (the installation process on my latest little techy toy, a color business card scanner that links to my outlook address book,...cool or what?)
12:00 - 2:00pm - all these damn errands to run, hit the book store, the hi-tech store, the going out of business tool store (read tomorrows blog! You want to talk about an ego booster, try this one on: I left as fulltime store manager in May, after almost eight years, but offered to stay on part-time (about 20 hours a week) and help train a new manager, but only until September. That's a four month lead time. Less than three weeks left and they can't find a suitable manager type. LARGE corporate solution: "Well if you can't stay on any more we'll just close the store and eat the cost of the remaining two years on the lease, since no one else can make it work like he did." And we are the largest economic power on this earth? I shudder,...big time.)
11:00- 12:00 noon - write my blog, I've been slacking off lately and reading them more than writing them. (Love the Aussie girl blogs! These young women have thier heads screwed on really straight, I'd hire anyone of them as they know how to think, and have common sense. I don't see them calling thier "shrink" over a broken fingernail like some of our "made in America" princesses!)
There, I think that covers the day. No surprises, no work perse, and ample time for the pub. (Note to all: Since my "pub" is called "Buster's World Famous Oyster Bar & Grille", and the twenty something TV's let them think they are the biggest sports bar around, and it's Sunday afternoon, well I guess it's the weekly NASCAR race, the weekend PGA final, a few also ran baseball games, and talking sports heads, (sigh!) I'd rather watch Soccer, English Premier League if possible, but in any event college and Pro football starts again soon and the land of the Bubba's will rule the Pub for the next 16 weeks!
("I promise to try and write more often, Mom" - used to be my standard closing on letters home when I was in the Military 1964-1969!)

-30-

How intense is intense?

I guess I'm somewhat intense, but I know some folks who are very intense. Intense like so singularly focused and driven that I just wait and someday their entire head will explode, just a loud "POP" and blood and brains everywhere, yup that's how it'll happen! But in the meantime I guess we have to live with them, or try to anyway.
It cracks me up how these folks have "hot buttons". Not just the usual hot button, but a super Warp drive, nitro powered button. Know someone like that? If you hit thier "hot button", dead on, it's like the balloon you blow up and then just turn it loose. They are all over the place, first up, then down, then a zig, and two zags, then a bounce off the wall, then it all finishes as quickly as it started, and usually in a smoldering rage.
The funniest part is watching some one so skilled in recognizing the particular "super galactic, turbo warp, hot button" that they have complete and unrestrained control over the personna whose buttons they push! I've watched it for years, I've had my "buttons" pushed, and I still to this day think it's wrong. It's pure and simply manipulation to the max!
Do you have a "hot button", or maybe just a "warm button"? Think about it. What cranks you up in a heartbeat, and who do you know that can do that to you? Or are you so "well grounded" that nothing can "motivate" you like that?
Incidentally what is the difference between "motivating" and "manipulating", could someone give me a good definition?
If we are "self-motivated" does that mean we've actually fooled ourselves by manipulating our inner self? Yet why is it we are "manipulated" into doing what someone else wants done?
I really don't have a clue what prompted this blog, it was just 5:30am, my coffee was cooling, it's a Monday and work begins again, I still haven't adjusted to a full two days off in a row yet, (well actually that won't happen until September yet) and I'm begining to think maybe I ought to start looking into some sort of an exercise program since I'm spending a lot more time on my butt in a cubicle.
Oh well, it's Monday, a full calendar of events including, getting rid of a dead palm tree, re-doing a dam that breached last week, finding someone to fill a "sinkhole" in a properties parking lot, trying to find out why the water level in one pool dropped over 12 inches yesterday, oh yeah and eleven annual budgets to get oprepared by September 1st.
Today's operational philosophy, "pace yourself, pace yourself, ....there's a cool Guinness waiting at 4:30 for me, and maybe some light conversation to massage my mind!"
Have a good day!
-30-

Now I'm pissed!!!

One of the joys in "blogging" is that it is a relatively non-commercial enterprise,....well that was until today. Now I'm really pissed!
I was out scanning my favorite blogs and decided to pop into my own blog and see if there were ant comments, sure enough there were three!! Wow! Someone is starting to read my stuff,...cool. So I click intot he "comments" to see who they are and what they had to say and poof, faster than shit, they are all Advertisements! "Cool stuff that you write, check my page "Boston renters". I click and it's a damn ad!!
Ok folks how do we outlaw these or simply spam the shit out of the advertiser until they realize they screwed up big time messing with "blogdom"?
Any ideas or suggestions? Or do I have to start looking for a blog connection that outlaws them by charging me a fee?
I'm disgusted. The last frontier is shattered by Madison Ave. A thousand year pox on them and thier clients!!
-30-

Why are people so stupid?

I manage what are called "Community Associations" here in Florida. They are better known as "Condo's", but not exclusively. A Community Association is any form of owned living area wherein there are "common" entities involved as well, i.e. swimming pool, tennis courts, private roads, clubhouse, common area landscapign etc. The result is everyone living in the "Association" has to get along and live within a certain "framework of rules" and be careful not to violate them, hence "up-setting" others living there. It's really quite simple,...or is it?
That's what keeps me in business, literally. Now one Association I have has a rule that you must keep all your trash hidden until the evening before the trash collector comes, then and only then can you have your rubbish barrels at the curb for emptying. And they must be out of sight again the evening of the trash pickup day after they have been emptied. Simple, right?
Apparently not as so far I've gotten at least ten calls about this one home in the neighborhood wherein every day another odious black plastic trash bag appears in front of the garage door (Oh the shame of it all. The beginnings of a ghetto is upon us!) My phone calls are running sort of like this,
"Hi I just wanted to tell you that you are doing a great job managing things, but I did want to let you know about one tiny problem I saw coming home from picking up my medical prescriptions from the drug store. You know that "pink house" on the corner? Well they have bags of trash all over the driveway ion front of thier garage door. It's not supposed to be outside until wednesday evening and it's only monday. It looks like hell and it's making the whole neighborhood look terrible. We bought in here because it was so pretty and neat and these people have no consideration for the rules and they don't care about the property, and the next thing you know they'll be hanging laundry out to dry and all, it's just disgusting, you have to do soemthing about it!"
"I understand. Do you know who owns the house?"
" I think the folks live up in Indiana, ...Terre Haute, (aside) is that where Mabel and Charlie come from honey?,.......Yeah, Terre Haute."
"Then who's living in the house?"
"I guess they must be renters."
"Have you met them, or have any name or anything?"
"No."
"So how should we procede?"
"Well send then a letter and tell them we're going to fine them a hundred dollars a day for everyday there is a bag out there outside the accepted times."
"And why should they care, they are just renting and they don't own it and you really can't fine them by law."
"Well send the letter to the owners then. They have to take care of it."
" Ok, I'll tell them I recieved a complaint from you about this...."
" No, don't use my name, Mary beth and I know them. I don't want them to be mad at us. Tell them someone else told you."
"Well I'm sure they will want to know who told me, wouldn't you? Particularly if they live a thousand miles away and are going to be fined a hundred dollars a day!"
"Well,... can't you do it some other way?"
"Certainly,...what do you suggest?"
" Well I don't know. Listen I've got to go I'm running late for the men's club lunch meeting, but take care of that for us."

"Yeah right!"
-30-

Zapped from the twilight zone !!!!

Remember all that "six degrees of separation" stuff. Sounds good in theory, but I got one better,...you'll love this!
About four or five monthes ago my cell phone bit the dust. (Totally immersed in water for about thirty seconds and kaput from there on out.) Now for the first time in my adult life I had actually been smart because it was a Blackberry I got the handset insurance. Step 1, call my Nextel dealer,"Take it to the Nextel Repair center downtown, they'll just swap it out for you." EXCELLENT! and away I go. A while later I sign a paper, they hand me the new one and tell me there will be a $35 charge for the exchange on my next bill. God I love having been smart enough to get the insurance! It was worth it,...or so I thought.
Flash forward to last Wednesday night, I get home, pick up the mail, come in the house, change into my "comfy" clothes, pour a glass of my favorite Austrailian Shiraz, drop into the relcliner and start opening the mail. Usual "FREE mortgage quote", "0% finance charge until Christmas" crap, and a letter from Nextel. (They are always wasting postage trying to push the free phone with a new line, yada, yada,yada! Normally I would have just trashed it, but on the off chance that meant I could get a second Blackberry for my wife, I open them.) BIG mistake.
"Dear sir, our technician has determined that the Blackberry handset you turned in three months ago is definately DBR, (damaged beyond repair), therefore we are sending you a brand new Blackberry and postage paid return packing to return the re-furbished one you recieved and have been using. We will also be charging your account $399.58 for the new unit. Thank you for......."
"Attention Houston, the rocket has gone ballistic, and is travelling downrange from the recliner to the telephone at extreme speed with strange sounds emmanating from it." I literally punch in the "866" number from the letter, should I have "any questions in this matter". Damn right I got questions!
After ten minutes of elevator music while I wait "for the next available agent" I get a human being, the usual this is Maryann (or some such) may I help you. And the fencing begins. I tell her the story, I tell her I'm very happy with the one they gave me, it's working fine, I don't need or want another one, and much less I don't even want to hear about a $399.58 charge, so correct it now,please.
"Sir you signed an agreement when you brought your broken phone in to us and we gave you a re-furbished unit, do you remember that?"
"Of course I do it was a receipt, and I also filled in the srvice card and commented how quickly and accomodating your folks were, so what!"
" Well sir if you had taken the time to read it more closely you will see that you agreed to pay for a new unit if our technicians ultimately determined it was damaged beyond repair. "
"That's why I opted for the handset insurance on it when I bought it originally, check your records please, you'll see it right on the bill every month, and you'll notice the bill is paid every month on time, no problems, etc."
"Yes sir I see that, but that doesn't cover this situation."
"WHAT! You have to be kidding? It is a handset, it doesn't work, what the hell is the insurance for? It fell into water for thirty seconds and quit, that's why I bought the insurance."
" You would have to take that up with the insurance company sir. The insurance covers the loss of the cell phone unit in water. Did you contact them?"
"So you're telling me if I went down to the ocean and threw the son of a b***** in the ocean, then called you and said I lost it in the ocean, then the insurance would take care of it?"
"Yes sir, that's correct."
"Get me a supervisor. I need to talk to a reasonable person capable of thinking. "
More damn elevator music.
"Hello Mr. Guinness, this is Corey, my agent tells me you are having a problem?
"That's correct, let me fill you in...." so I re-iterate the entire situation again and the senselessness of everything.
"Well Mr. Guinness, I see your point, but you did sign the paper when you picked up the refurbished unit to use, and it clearly states,......"
"Look Corey, you sound intelligent, can't we just get to the heart of this matter? I don't want, or need a brand new phone. The one you gave me works perfectly well. I am a happy camper. No harm, no foul, just cancel the whole thing and we can all get back to our regularly broadcast lives. Simple enough?"
"I can't do that sir, you did sign the form."
"Look Corey, I can take and tell you to take your phone and shove it and go across the street to your competition and get a brand new phone FREE, and sign up for thier service which is just as good as yours!"
"That would be your perogative sir."
"Are you telling me your boss doesn't give a shit if you lose customers?
"I guess not."
"Fine so send the damn phone and let's just be done with this insanity."

And so it ended, or so I thought until I checked in on my "blog" the next morning and noticed I had a new comment on it. So I punch up the comments to read them and almost shit, for here was the comment I saw,
"Daniel Burton said,
Again sir thank you for calling Nextel, my name is Daniel and since I got off work after your call, in NO WAY am I here to help you today.
Just the same, it was nice talking to an intelligent person tonight."

Is that twilight zone or what? I don't remember even telling them I had a blog, let alone it's title, or web location. I guess Big Brother can really reach out and touch someone!!

Scary huh?

-30-

Monday comes around pretty fast!

Well, it's Monday morning again. Time to crank it up again for another week. The two job thing is really starting to get to me. Iwas looking at the calendar and I have been doing this for 11 weeks now! 7:30am to 5 pm Monday thru Friday, at job one, five to nine-thirty at job two Tuesday,Wednesday, and Thursday, and 8:30 am to 4 pm on Saturday, giving me one day off, Sunday! Well it's starting to wear on me. Time to start weaning myself off the night job.
I got used to the money well enough, bought new clothes for the new job (that whole new "beach professional look" you know?) bought a few "toys" for my race to stay technologically on top of it, and have been thinking about some other stuff like a generator for the house in the event of more storms and lost power, paying down my credit cards to zero for a while, and getting a new vehicle with a litttle more room in it for my "stuff". But the generator, if you are going to get one, should run the whole damn house (about $5,000 at cost) so what's the point? I want my creature comforts like A/C, computers, TV, etc. while the wife just wants the refrigerator to run, and maybe the microwave. Consensus is,.....pass on the generator! Now payoff the credit cards and leave them empty for a while, very admirable goal, mark of sound fiscal management, very mature thought process,.......Consensus? ......not happening! While all those good traits for cash management and personal finance are there,...well, ...it's just not me!
So that leaves me with the new vehicle thing.
First of all both our vehicles are paid off already. Secondly they are both running pretty good. (Sure a few "pain in the ass things" like only AM/FM radio in mine, a vastly under achieving A/C system in her's, no room for stuff in my little pick up cab, no little gas powered piston thing to keep the back window up when you're trying to put stuff in there. And on and on, and on,....but all piddily little shit,..... so I guess we just keep the vehicles until this gasoline cost shit settles down a bit.
Long and short? Only 7 more weeks to Labor day and I can say good bye to the second job. Hmmmm, if I were to throw the whole check at the credit card I really could pay it off in that time! That would put me in good shape for Christmas, and a few other things I need to be concerned about. Hell I might even be able to set up one of those pre-paid cremation things. (Now is that a sick thought? But at sixty-one I guess it has to start eating it's way into my "long -term planning" process,... and I do mean long, like maybe another thirty or forty years!)
Well, so much for this mornings trials and tribulations! I've got at least twenty hours of "stuff" to do today so I may as well go shave, shower and get dressed and jump into it,....tempus is fugiting!

-30-

Out and about,...sort of!

Ohhh! Still recovering from the world cup final. The wife safely off to work for the day I ambled over to my local pub, decided to have a full lunch there before the Cup Final began, and then relax and enjoy the game.
So I ordered a Grouper sandwich, cole slaw, french fries (I was pulling for Italy,...damn I should have ordered a side of pasta!), and a pint o' plain (i.e. Guinness) to wash it all down. The pre-game show was only a half hour long (Hmmm! Maybe they should apply this to the Superbowl and get rid of the six hours of "pre-game" crap. I came for the game, not the History of sporting events from the first neolithic hopscotch world championship.)
The Grouper was ok, not great, but it filled a hole anmd gave me supreme confidence I was a good dooby, not just hanging out at the pub drinking on an empty stomach.
There was a nice young couple next ot me and about ten other people in the entire place watching the World Cup. However they were loaded with other fans, all watching NASCAR! (I won't go there, suffice it to say sitting on your butt, turning left for three hours at 175 miles an hour is not my idea of an athletic event!) Apologies to all the legions of NASCAR folks, but isn't it the only sport, other than the Gladiatorial events, borne out of illegal transgressions? In other words the original sport was developed out of dudes running "white lightning" illegally on old back roads trying to outrun the police and "revenuer's". So aside from no police presence on the track, and no "hootch" in the vehicles, where has the "progress" of the sport been? Oh, I said I wasn't going there,...sorry, back to the World Cup.
It was genuinely a good game, I really enjoyed it. The one thing I must say is that the referee was outstanding! He was right there when he needed top be, was recognizing true fouls from the "Oscar winning" performances, and overall did a great job. Zidane blew it with his head butt, and rightly so was evicted from the game. (Sure would have liked to have been a fly on the wall and heard what the Italian said to him to provoke such a violent response!). I honestly believe that was the pivitol moment for the French. From there on out it was Italy's game to lose.
Well, duty calls and I must go and referee aBoard of Directors meeting this morning in about an hour and a half so it's time to prepare, don my armor, sharpen my pen, polish my red cards and yellow cards, and do the fifteen minutes of "impartiality look" aerobics in front of the mirror in preparation.
Have a good day, and remember,.....it's always a good day when your name missed the obituaries!
-30-

Going Down!!!

Man am I glad to be back at sea level! At the 7,000 feet above sea level breathing is a chore. In fact every night I was out there I'd sleep for about four hours and then snap awake feeling almost strangled and have to breath for a while before I could go back to sleep again, and more than once I had to slow down or sit down and catch my breath. At first I got concerned I might be having one of those "shortness of breath" warnings about having a heart attack, then my son told me it happens to everyone at this altitude, that's why the athletes train ing the high country. Guess what? They can keep it.

Ok it was beautiful, being surrounded by peaks and almost vertical chuncks of earth just rising over you. The greenness of the hills, the old 2002 Olympic event ski jumps and trails so evident on the mountainsides, all "spectacular", but not my cup of tea. The dryness was also incredible. It's a constant round of cracked lips, bloody noses, and itchy skin! Enough of my whinning, there's enough folks living out there that it must be good for them! Thanks for the opportunity to see it all, but the ocean is my grounding point. Sea level is my point of origin.

Folks were extremely polite out there, at every turn. I'd have to say it was one of the friendliest places I've been in a while. But much like the sea coast or beach resorts, the real estate out there has gone nuttsy as well. I guess if you are a skier this is your idea of a little piece of heaven, a week-end "get-a-way" etc. The little cottages that the original silver miners built a hundred years ago are selling for as much as beachside cottages here on the Gulf of Mexico. Well I guess the proper summation is simply, "different strokes for different folks."

I'm glad to be home and back at my own keyboard. I took my laptop and filled a lot of my "waiting time" out there learning new things ("Egad Livingstone,...he can still learn! Astounding hey what?") I joined one of those music download places. For an old fart it's great because it seems they have every song and album ever recorded. I down loaded one of my favorites, Chuck Mangione, and completely enjoyed having a grest listen, and having it on my laptop any time I want to listen to it. I played with some pictures we took and realized how woefully short the regular software that come with the digital camera is actually. Guess I'll be in the market for some of that stuff soon. I used to love taking pictures, and doing picture studies. But I sort of got away from it and all. Maybe I'll give it a shot and try and get back into it again. In the "neolithic age" back then you had to have your film developed and wait and then realize 75% of what you shot just didn't meet you expectations, but that's all gone now with the digital camera. My only peeve is that stupid honking big window thing on the back. I am not comfortable trying to frame a picture with the camera a few feet out on the end of my arm, but the "regualr" view finders on the digital cameras just don't seem to be good enough to really "see" your shot.

Oh yeah, I made the plunge into the world of "Wi-fi" while I was out there. The hotel had a sign saying it was a wi-fi ready space and when I bought my laptop a year or so ago it came with the "centrino technology" so I said what the hell. It wasn't anywhere as difficult as I thought to make it work and inside ten minutes I was up and surfing. Maybe I'll try and use it locally now as well. The local Whataburger is a free wi-fi spot so I'll try them next.

Well it's July 3rd today, the town is jammin' and about a month left til the "young-uns" go back to school and things settle down again. Looks like it's been a good tourist year thus far, but they aren't "pre-booking" like they used to before the last two "hurricane years". It seems it's a look at the weather for next week, make a couple calls, and we leave tomorrow mode, as opposed to the old model of months of planning reservations fifteen weeks in advance, etc. What it is doing though is putting a huge strain on everything because you never know what's happening until you are in the thick of it. That means local plans are disrupted, traffic is crazier, and everything builds to a cresendo of noise and aggravation.

For example after I closed up the shop Saturday night I decoded to stop for a pint at my local. Now normally, any time in the year by 9:30 the places are all emptying out and folks are headed back to thier condo's and hotels to get rested for tomorrow's assault on the beaches, but not this year. They were still on a wait until after 10 pm for dinner! How crazy is that? I had to stand up and decided that was not my idea of a "brief respite" before heading hime, so I went home.

Well gotta go shower, shave and head out to work and see what earth-shattering crisis occured while I was gone (already heard about six or seven of them while I was on vacation! "Mrs. Jones can't remember the code to punch in the gate to get to the beach, do you know what it is?" Certainly, I always keep the gate codes for eleven different locations in the forefront of my mind when I'm almost two thousand miles away on vacation, ...don't you?)

More tomorrow.

-30-

High on a hill lived a lonely goatherd!

Well for the past three days here in Utah we have been whizzing on highways (we were doing 85 and a Sheriff passed us once) but always like in between the mountains. (I guess you call them "passes"). Well last night we had a barbeque out at the home of our future daughter in law. You know, the meeting the other parents and siblings, bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc. Well Maria told us her father would call us and he did and spoke to my wife. Long story short they told us they lived in a "mountain home". (For a boy from Boston you can just imagine what that conjured up!) Well after zigging and zagging aat what seemed like a 60 degree angle up these mountain roads for ten minutes or so we reach the house. I loved the house but the first thing that hits you is how the hell do you build a house on the side of a mountain, and the other thing is that the house is about 60% steps. They are everywhere! they have a garage "down below" right on the roadside that connects to the house with something like 65 steps (Forget the groceries. We're eating out every day!) There were rooms everywhere with spectacular views out every window. But me?, I'm a city boy. I need the reassurance of concrete, asphalt, eight story brick buildings, people bussling along and all. Once the get the transporter from Startrek really done and in the market place ,well, maybe I'll go there for a brief, two hour, respite, but live up there, God no!
If you had a couple of Guinness the probability that you would never be heard from again after driving off one of these switchbacks is at least 3,000 percent higher than getting stopped for a DUI! I bet they have a very low rate of driving intoxicated here, but a huge list of "missing" folks.
Today's the big day. Son number two gets married at fiveish. Because of work demands he and his new wife are going to postpone thier honeymoon trip til later, Cancun, Mexico, in favor of back to work tomorrow. The demands of todays younger generation means everything has to be scheduled.
Well I guess we''re going to breakfast now so time to sign off for today.
Of yeah, I forgot to tell you the wedding is on the side of this mountain with a waterfall and you need to go up one of those almost vertical roads to get there. (Note to self; watch the Guinness consumption, you trip at this place and fall, you're winding up rolling down hill into somewhere in Arizona, possibly to be just a disfigured mass of protoplasm at the bottom of the hill, and future gecco food!
Bye for now.

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Park City, Utah,....it's a cool place!

After all the anxiety of the flight, the pain in the ass running from gate to gate, etc. I'm here! This place is really cool! I was blown away by the mountains. You can't go ten feet here unless it's up hill or down hill. In fact that's how some of the locals give directions. South is "downhill" north is "uphill" God I love the culture shock! Where else in the world can you go and find the Norwegian Fur Company store with tons of furs in the store, alongside the "Natures Natural " gallery! It's like something for everyone and they all get along! (Maybe we ought to send the U.N. delagates to learn to chill out properly.
Now idiocyncrancies about Utah. First of all it's sitting at about 6700 feet above sea level. So what you ask? Well the effects of alcohol (a/k/a beer even!) at that altitude is the equivelant of NASTY! Consequently all the draft beer in the entire State is 3.2% alcohol, and the only place you can buy "real beer" is the State Liquor store. So is it true? Do you get a little "shittier" i Utah, absolutely, I just tested it. I had one 20 oz. and one 12 oz. and it's hitting me like my usual six 22 oz. brews at my "local" in Florida!
My daughter,( yeah, she and her husband and my oldest and his wife, and my wife's sister all made the trek for the wedding) and her husband decided to take off today and go to the Grand Canyon. That left my sister in law,(she felt ill so she sleep all day) and my wife and I , with no vehicle and a herd of hills to climb if we wanted to go anywhere. My wife and I set out to "look around". Being a real Irish American, that means "find the nearest pub for later use". This is a damn city fo God's sake! Oops! I forgot it's a Morman State, City, town, hamlet, block, etc! Beer is a no-no as well as booze! Thank God they were smart enought to know they'd never make a big time ski resort if they didn't allow booze! So what did they do? Put all the pubs in the same place! Well, about three miles of walking later, we got there!
Remember the old commercial "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", Well I walked three miles for a beer!
Got to go have dinner, I'll finish this post when I get back. (That is if the finger are still working!)
Well the fingers are still working, so here's the wrap up on this piece. The wife and her sister want to sit by the pool and chat so himself, (that would be me) opts to go get a beer. About another two miles later I wander into a Marriott Hotel, parched, dry, willing to even take a "Bud"!
Fortunately I didn't have too, thier bar opened at 4pm. They don't have "happy hour" , it's joyous hour, a bar open before 6pm and not on the "Main Street strip"! Had a couple of pints, found out the bartender was from Florida, played wide reciever for Southern Florida in 2003 -2005. Small world.
Long story short I came back, we went out for prime rib, and I'm back. God I wish this palce had a little bar instead I get a sauna, a jacuzzi, and a whirlpool and pool! My kingdom for a cold beer locally and a pub of people that like to chat!

-30-

So there I was........

Part two od whi the hell knows!
When last we met the evil empire was closing in on us, amd DAMN IT four guinness, (Ok, maybe six!)) are seriously affecting my fingers! I am wearing out the backspace key just trying to write this post! Well, rather than subject you to "Don't ask, don't tell" American response to the answer to "who's in charge here".
Qick diversion: Mywife just came home from church and thinks I've had a few to many Guinness's (can there be a possibility on this earth of a "few too many Guinness's?) today. Well let's look at the future! Get up at 4:30am, haul ass to the airport to be there by 5:00 am,, go through the metal detectors ande hang out in the "departure lounge" for an hour and a half, sit on the damn plane for an hour as we get ready to "taxi". an hour to Atlanta, an hour layover til the flight to Salt Lake City Utah, four hours in the air,(how much Coor's Light does this thing carry!), and and an hours drive to Park City, where my son is due to get married on Wednesday!
How can one huiman being have had "too many Guinness's for this. " ?
Anyhow I'm trying to keep up with the program, (but frankly "I'd rather be in Philadephia" per the great W.C. Fields)
Since I really don't want to do "business" in the next five days, the blog's that follow are purely and simply the delusional rantings of the "Father of the groom".
(There better damn well be Guinness in this God forsaken part of our country or it will be a very short and nasty week!!!)
I did my job as a father, etc., why torment the hell out of me? You made your choices,....live with them!!)
Sorry , the empty-nester part of me striking out! (this was supposed to be when my wife and I enjyed life together without the "weight" of family considerations!
I apologize to those who think we should really "give a damn", but the fact is that we "gave a damn" whe you were growing, becoming a true human being who thought, made choices, and really became part of out society. Now it's your choices that determine our future. Coose wisely, courageously, and compassionately. That's the best we can ask based on what we taught you growing up!

-30-

Time sure does fly when you're having fun!!

Ok, I'm feeling guilty. I was just doing my daily "rounds" of my favorite blogs when I accidentally hit my own blog link. Ok, so I haven't ripped off a line since June 10th! i guess I'm really into my new job, my part-time old job, my grab and gulp "dietary habits", of course a couple of Guinness a day to keep the doctor away, AND a little sleep time. Well the good news is that this "pattern" is only going to last another eight weeks for me. Labor Day weekend I kiss the "old" parttime now job goodbye. Pick up the health benefits at the new job, end my "total immersion" period in the learning curve of the new job, and re-structure my patterns for the next five year cycle. Sound wierd? Yup! But let me explain.
I guess it dawned on me about fifteen or twenty years ago that my "inner being" was a super capable thiing that really thrived on the "crusade" lifestyle, but was definately not one to be on the "fanatic crusade", or life long pursuit. Still confused? OK, let me back up a minute. Let's start with several dull, boring, but true things first, ready?
Instructions: 1) read the words, 2) read between the lines, 3) think about 1 & 2 together, move on to the next "truth"
a) "eat dessert first, life is too short."
b) "do no harm to anyone"
c) "life is either a daring adventure, or it is nothing!."
d) "whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't,...you're right!"

Now for my four part "Meaning of Life" explanation. How long is a year? How fast does it go by? Can you say you've enjoyed every one? Can you say you've not enjoyed some?, Can you look back at a memory and smile, or must you frown? Basically the correct answer is "All of the above". But you can never answer correctly if you are following the "normal path". The typical path that society, Mums and Dads, and the rest of the world "direct you to". It's your life, it's your time. You were born, and there you were. You will die, and there you are. But what's in the middle is only one single thing, ....YOU! Now this may sound like an "it's all about me" thing, but it most definately is not about YOU, it's about the cognition to use everything you were endowed with, all five of your senses, the marvelous and virtually endless capacity of your brain, the amazing range and depth of your emotions to BE what's around you. Not just see it, but be it!
When you make "limiting choice" understand it's limitations, and your choice to make that. Understand you took in the "whole" of existence and made that choice, never look back, but know full well your decision and never regret it, go back and re-think it, or be unsure of it. For if you do it's something you never should done and you have unquestionably "wasted" a life segment.
Your life is the proverbial "flow chart" "given a and b I choose a, then from a is c,d, and e, and so on and so forth. Why ever go backwards?
Well got to go to work so I'll have to pick this up later. My wife and I are going out to our youngest son's wedding in Utah for the next five days and I'm taking the old laptop with me. The last "Crusader of life" ventures forth at 61 armed with hi-tech, a desire to know more, and knowing I can fill the void of no Ocean to see, no calming grandness of the ocean (ok so it's really the Gulf of Mexico, but it's sure as shit bigger than a pond!) for the next five days. "But they have the most gorgeous mountains and rustic scenery in Utah" I'm not denying that, but each of us has that one little thing we hang our life on that gives us the base for eveything else around us,.....for me that's the sea.
Stay tuned for the adventures and philosophy of the Last Life Crusader!
-30-

(written entirely without the benefit of mind expanding drugs of any form, just a joy of life!)

Here we go again!!!

Tropical Depression #1 !!!! It's here only 9 days into the season and churning around off the west coast of Cuba. Forecasters say it's not going to be a biggie and will turn north eastward in the next several hours or so. It is dumping torrential rains, upward of ten inches in a twenty-four hour period. I've got my laminated little Hurricane tracking chart and dry erase markers all ready to go!

This year if we get hurricanes I won't get to just go home and sit it out. Since my new job entails property management we'll be out there trying to secure all those properties, close all thier swimming pools, all the usual stuff you do at your house, only for about 900 other houses, and that's just my clients! Well I asked for a little more excitement in my new job, I guess I got it!!

Today I'm looking into the insurance situation around here in Florida. For anyone not familiar with our funky little place here's the "rest of the story". Back in the early 90's HurricaneAndrew kicked the crap out of the basically southern Miami area. Huge devastationon and on and on. It made Katrina look like a pussy cat, (sorry, I just don't think buying a place 14 or 15 FEET below the level of the water around you is bright, but they are all going to do it again,..but I diverse).

A ton of Insurance companies took off and left Florida, never to write anymore policies here, and not just hurricane or Wind insurance. That brought crisisi as those that stayed upped thier rates like robbers and flat refused to write everyone on an equal basis. They were picking and choosing! Enter the great and noble "little big brother", the State government. They create thier very own insurance company, call it Citizens Property Insurance Company, empower it to write hurricane insurance for all, make it open to everyone regardless of race, creed, color of mobile home, or anything else,....the people gave thanks and leaned back in thier recliners and said, "The State has saved us now we don't have to worry any more, praise the State!!"

And Citizens grew as the new knight in shining armor. Hurricanes were mild, damage not to bad, and Florida prospered! But then came 2004 and a herd of hurricanes, topped off with a direct hit from Ivan on the NorthWest panhandle. Everyone flew into action, including FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) and after Jim Cantore of the weather channel went back to whereever it is they keep sensationalistic reporters between sensations, we slowly began to crawl out from under. Central Florida got wailed as well with three hurricanes just criss crossing the same places, but they began crawling out as well. A fluke, a once every twenty year freak shot, all the terms were out there , but more insurance companies bailed out of Florida, leaving Citizens the "big man on campus".

The original concept of Citizens was not a great social experiment, but the way to give coverrage to extremely high risk areas and property and allowing the Insurance companies to skim the cream off the top. The thought was that that would look attractive to the insurance companies and they would stop bailing out Now the cream was gone, and so to the vast majority of the insurance companies, and then came 2005.

Not the usual year. We ran our of names for Hurricanes so we had to start using Greek, Alpha, Beta, Gamma, etc. Dennis wracked us up again here in Florida, onbly this one came in the height of the tourist season! That scared the shit out of Mom, Dad, and the three point4 little rug rats that come here to vacation much like the Muslims make thier pilgrimage to Mecca. Katrina hit, (and in all honesty, as a hurricane it wasn't that bad, but remember what I said about buying a house 15 feet below the water around you being held out by antiquated levees) the inevitable hit and the levees gave way. The rest is history.

But after everyone goes home and doesn't worry anymore that's when the shit hits the fan!

Last week the mighty knight Citizens Property Insurance Company announced it's new rate effective August 1, of this year. The wee little county in which I live the rateis going up 243%, not gradual, not over a period of years, but from Monday to Tuesday. Pay or you got no Hurricane Insurance! Andthat's the State! So the question is who ya' gonna call ? Ghostbusters?

I guess not. Well I have to give the State credit, they figured out how to stem the HUGE tide of folks moving to Florida to retire. Either that or decided to just become the biggest bandit in the world. Remember "Absolute power corrupts, absolutely".

The insurance industry has figured it out already, and get ready for the next"SCANDAL OF THE CENTURY". Why? Think about it, if you had the only gas station in town and you could jack your prices up anytime as much as you want, you will always still have customers. Why? Cause they gotta have gasoline. Same thing with Hurricane insurance. If you were going to buy a place for several million dollars wouldn't you be damn sure you had it insured, regardless of the cost? "Stop the state they are getting greedy!" you shout.

You missed the point! Since the insurance rates have actually gone through the roof and are accepted as a done deal, wouldn't you as an insurance company say "Hmmm! Let's go back in and we'll write policies at 10% less than the State. People would flock to them. "But what if there is another bad hurricane?" Fuck it! The State bailed it out once, they'll do it again. we just shift the monies around, cook the books a bit, declare bankruptcy, say we're sorry and pull out of Florida. Life goes on again.

And from a political standpoint if we can wangle it to have a democratic administration when all hell hits, ...well we'll have it made! God I love a good bleeding heart liberal, they are the best thing going for a hard working money hungry right wing conservative.

See you on the other side!

-30-

Sometimes money isn't everything!

Suffice it to say I deal with a lot of extremely wealthy people. You know the type with not one "get-a-way" vacation home, but two or three! And not your run of the mill little rambling cottage huddled together in random groupings amidst scrub bushes and stuff. No these folks have the $2,000,000 variety right on the beach, overlooking the ocean with the ten foot by four foot garden pool, lighted and heated of course, built into the patio balcony outside the bedroom. (Don't you have one in your place?)
And let's face it walking up and down the stairs to reach the three floors in your "cottage" can be very tiring, so put in the elevator! True stuff believe me.
Aaaaah! It's good to have a cozy little get-a-way to go relax in for the weekend.
My job? Make sure it's up to snuff in the neighborhood when you drop in to relax.
The palms need trimming, my God there's a bulb burned out that "up-lights" the palms lining the street. The irrigation is not putting enough water on the hibiscus in the corner. And by the way how much is the cost of our hurricane insurance going up thiis year? Only 250%, not as much as I thought.
I can fully understand why old Robin Leach of "Lifestyles of the rich and famous" was always smiling, he just got to try it all and got paid to do it!
Things like twenty six straight days with temperatures in the 90's, high humidity, and every human being fighting to get in a swimming pool and they wonder why the pools are turning yellow? The clorine levels are just vanishing. The law says they must be maintained at a certain level, but this kind of heat and huidity eat it up in six hours!
Well off to a couple of meetings, a few letters, a slew of e-mails, cell phone calls, and other annoyances, then a cool pint o' Guinness.
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