Pub Times & Life

Follow the yellow brick road....

2008-06-09T06:51:00.002-05:00

I'm going to be moving my blog over to the wordpress site, but I'll be keeping these as well and maybe make a decision which I like better down the road. But in the meantime my new blog site is "www.guinness222.wordpress.com" check it out, I'm still trying to develop it to be a little more "zippy" that this one. Let me know what you think, hit comments and tell me.

Mr. Guinness

Workin' our way into slavery,...again!

2008-05-29T07:13:00.002-05:00

Sorry,but it's getting real ugly out there,...real ugly. I live in a community, nay strike "community", make it a "vacation Mecca" this area was an unblemished diamond, a vision of all things perfect in a seaside vacation Nirvana, sugar white sands, teal waters gently lapping the shore, brilliant sunshine endlessly, ..you know all the "Beach Nirvana" things you could imagine. And they came, me too, to get a piece of it, to enjoy and reap all the human pleasures possible from it, and being the nature of beings of the human variety,...ultimately destroy it with greed, and the other epic fallacy of man, power!
The "little" beach cottages and places just grew, and grew, and grew. Not only in size and cost, but amenities and the "WTF" of overkill. For example why not have an 8 foot by 10 foot swimming pool put on the fourth floor roof with clear glass walls overlooking the Gulf of Mexico, and those sugar white sands and teal water? And of course private elevators in every three story, three bedroom home, and not less than one, and yes in some cases two, 42" plasma TV's in every room of the house!
If you remember that old, probably turn of the 19th century tune, "by the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea, you and me, you and me, oh how happy we'll be.",....well that was the theme song around here, money flowed like the legends of the golden rivers of El Dorado, every other building was a Super Market sized furniture store, with "Interior Decorators" hovering in herds like used car salesmen. Cheap, ugly (OK, my opinion, I'll call it "beach primative") stuff everywhere, and selling for HUGE amounts. My little "cottage" increased in value by over 400% in four years! My weekly grocery bill went from $60 a week to $150 per week, a "quick bite to eat" went from $25 for the wife and I to $60 to $80! Oh and by the way NO the paycheck did not rise at the same rates. We were slowly, albeit fast, working our way back into slavery as middle class sliding major league to leveraged upper lower class,....and all we were doing was getting up going to work and trying to pay the bills!
2004 and 2005 the entire area was beseiged by Hurricanes, 27 in one year as a matter of fact. It did not put a damper on things overall, but sure scareed the shit out of those of us whose whiole lives were tied up here. Tourists sort of took a break, developers and builders kept slapping up places, real estate agents all had either brand new Mercedes or HUGE SUV's and a "yippy" little dog or two under thier arm at all times. Full four color magazines were popping up everywhere, soiree's were the rage, wine auctions for charity netted hundreds of thousands, "Coastal Casual" reigned supreme, and the "by the sea, by the sea" tune was running like an old 33 1/3rpm record being turned up to 78rpm. (Told you I was old, many of you ever see 45rpm's or 78 rpm's?)
It was like watching the tornado images or Hurricane images, swirling vortexes spinning faster and faster, more and more out of control, more and more unstable,....but unlike a Hurricane or Tornado it did not "slam" ashore, or "totally devastate" an area,....it just sort of came along and started to eat the area alive, one bite at a time.

Gotta go to work now, but tomorrow we'll do the devouring of a commiunity and the REAL nature of "ugly and cranky folks"
-30-

A Follow up on "meeting the enemy and them is us!"

2008-05-29T07:11:00.000-05:00

The decline and fall of the middle class way of life,...alas!
America is truly the land of opportunity, at least it was a hundred years ago. But in the last fifty yearswe have allowed our government, through our elected officials, to "fast track" us back into slavery. No, it's not the slavery we all studied in school, it's a new and even more insideous form of slavery, and it's called "liberal conservative emasculation".
Oh, it's still true that you can achieve instant success, even hard work success, but every day the real fact of life is that "the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer." Let's look at the development of our country and see what's been happening,..shall we?
In the American Revolution we fought to set up a government and country to seperate us from the tyranny and injustices we saw to exist in the British Colonial Rule. The granting of vast quantities of land and title toa few, with the ability to levy taxation without representation, and , via that control control the masses and maintain a repressed society living in poverty and squalor. Our noble victory that brought about our Constitution andBill of Rights set us on the course to be the great experiment, where anyone could rise from the lowest level oflife, to the greatest. We saw the vision, and the value of public education, the magic of entreprenuerial thinking that turned "daydreams" into reality and progress for our entire society. A fair opportunity for so many, albeit there were many, many less then to avail themselves of these opportunities than there are now.
We moved forward from 1776, we struggled, we fought, but we endured. The Great Civil War of the 1860's which almost rent this noble experiment into shreds came upon us, and yet, despite the bloodshed. the idealogical differences. the corruption, and the greed, we endured still, and continued limping ahead as our wounds began to heal.
After the Civil War we saw a new trend, an immigration of people to this country like never before. They too wanted to be part of our noble experiment. At first they were welcomed, then ignored, and then finally they were flat out discriminated against in ways that today are almost beyond our comprehension. But in spite of it all we kept moving ahead,...moving forward as a society.
As the 19th century continued along there emerged a new voice, the voice of labor unions, or the "guilds" of Europe. They found in the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights, the mandate to empower the principles sought fromthose documents from thier very inception. Life,..Liberty,..and the pursuit of happiness for a mankind of equal beings. They came into existence simply becasue the great growth of our country had reached the point that the rich were, again, getting richer, while the poorwere indeed getting poorer. Out of the unions came a completely new and unheard of strata of society. Something no other country has now or ever in the past risen to accomplish, it was the Great American working Middle Class. Those not gifted with great minds, lacking access to a superior education, lacking the skills to understand and live within, or amongst the "political cosmos", and the "silver spoon" of life. Only by the sweat of thier brow, the labor of thier hands, and the weight of hard work on thier backs could they even hope to move up into this new strata of success reserved for the wealthy and attain the pot of gold painted by the Constitution and Bill of Rights that lay at the end of the rainbow. But could they?
World War I intervened, and a gratefull nation of people went forth to give thier livesto contuinue the great experiment. When they got home from Flanders Fields, and the trenches and poison gases they found the rich were getting even more rich again, while the poorfar poorer. Fate intervened and the "Depression" of the late 20's and early 30's brought both the rich and the poor to thier knees,... and the first instance of the fatal "government virus" was visibly at hand.
While necessary to stop the depression and put the country back on it's feet, both economically and psychologically, far ranging legislation was passed, which in the long term would do more to hurt our country than any enemy, foe or invader could have ever inflicted upon us. In fact it would bring us to our knees again in the 21st century, and that is where we are now.

P.S. - Pogo was right!

2008-05-15T07:39:00.002-05:00

"We have met the enemy and them is us!"

"When I was seventeen,...it was a very good year......"

2008-05-15T06:58:00.002-05:00

Well you get the idea, yes sir (and ladies) from the lips of ol' blue eyes himself, newest face to grace a United States Postage Stamp,...Frank Sinatra. Aaaahhhh but when you get to be my age it's not a song, but a "trigger" of my own "very good years".
Got home last evening, went to the mailbox (one of life's little pleasures!) and lo and behold there was a new issue of the quarterly magazine my old highschool puts out. The school opened in 1957 as an all boys Catholic "Prep" High School. ("Prep" means it's sole mission was to prepare boys for College. It was named Catholic Memorial High School, and my folks enrolled me in the second class the following year, 1958. Well as most of you know I went to college for a little while after high school, quit, went to work for a couple years, and finally joined the Navy for four years, got married, had children, and decided to go back to school nights for the next six years to get my degree. (Bio in 50 words or less, ..ho-hum!)
Anyhow I sat down with my glass of Jacobs Creek Shiraz and started thumbing through it. (Flashback coming,...standby!) Until about three or four years ago I simply went on with my life, and the school it's life, but one "dark and stormy night, as the rain was driven against the panes of glass" (little melodrama to set the stage) I "googled" the old high school, and there it was! As I drilled down into the pages I found one of those "Where are you now?" links. Being dark and stormy outside I decided to fill it in and hit send. Next morning was a reply from the Web Guru letting me know I was now on the Alumni list, the mailing list and the quarterly magazine list. Then the donation pledge stuff, the "48th" re-union stuff etc. etc. all started coming. Now the magazine I enjoyed getting looking up my old classmates etc. Seeing what had become of all those guys I knew 40 some odd years ago in the "acne age". I must say, quite a collection of sucessful folks in fact. One the Mayor of Boston, a truck load of lawyers, priests, insurance guys, doctors , dentists etc. The class clown of my class was now on the Board of Directors of the School and three of his sons have already been through the school and graduated! The new athletic complex was an old quarry when I went there, the Gym is now named after the schools first athletic director, former Chicago White Sox Baseball player, AND New York Knick's Basketball player, and MY old Phys Ed teacher, "Push ups, not roll abouts, put your muscle into it!"
But unfortunately as you age the road begins to end for many, particularly classmates, people you ate, partied, played ball, or otherwise got to know in depth over the four years of high school. And I guess there is sort of a morbid curiosity, and even a sort of sick "made the cut again" smugness when your names not there. (Love Robin Williams comment on death, "It's God's way of saying, your tables ready now sir")
When you read thier names in the "In Memorium" section you see the skinny kid that never had his tie on right, or the "jock" who pushed the skinny kid around after school. You see the "wiseass" who as soon as school was out would run outside and defiantly comb his hair back into a "DA" ("duck's ass" to 50's and 60's folks, a sort of statement of "attitude") The guys all hanging out at "Maria's" sub shop with Maria at at least three hundred pounds propped on a stool behind the cash register with the same expressionless look, knowing the school bell would go off soon and she was done for the day. "Joe" her husband, toothless, always in the same old grey sweater and beat to shit fedora, weighing in at no more than 100 lbs, making the subs, wrapping them and shoving them down the counter to Maria whose dulcid "Two Dollars" was the end of the line. We must have broke records in terms of the number of kids we could squeeze into a 15 foot by 12 foot "Sub shop". It was either that or the dreaded "Cafeteria food".
Long way around memory lane but I'm still on this side of the grass, but looks as if about 50% of my old classmates aren't with us any more. (sigh)
And now back to reality..............Life is great, people are fantastic, and business is super! (Can't think of any other convienent lies to tell at this moment.
So I leave you for this blog issue with the thought of the day. Why is it the choices get more difficult as you get older, seems like this "wisdom" shit is grossly over-rated, and when you think you finally got it all together,....you're outta here.
-30-

"Luke,...I need to borrow your light saber!"

2008-05-10T14:44:00.002-05:00

Yes boys and girls it's time to suit up, don the armor, sharpen the knives, be sure the powder is dry, and...of course, borrow Luke Sky Walker's light saber. Why you ask? Because to day is the day I've deigned to take on the mightiest foe on the face of our planet, the very essense of blue evil, the Darth Vader of the dark side,.....Microsoft!
Yup, that's right, and it all began innocently enough. I had just finished my 2007 income taxes, was please and printed out a copy to review, shut down and settled back for a triumphant glass of a good Shiraz and a review. "Perfect!" I muttered after a while, set the forms all down and smiled. But just like a good wine, as Ernest and Julio Gallo once said, "we shall file no taxes before it's time."
So a month or so later, actually April 15th, or "Christmas for the IRS", I get up early, fire up the old Dell Dimension, kick back with a dark roasted blend of Arabica coffee beans ground and steeped in hot water, and await the sacred icon screen. I reach over to the mouse, slide it skillfully and swiftly to the "TurboTax 2007" icon and expertly "double click". The hour glass begins to spin, and I'm scant seconds away from my treasure, a final copy of my tax returns to drop in the mail before the midnight deadline of today.
Then there is oh so small and almost impreceptible flash of light, and a screen pops up that says simply, "Turbo Tax 2007 has encountered a fatal error and can not continue." It refers me to thier web site, so I go there and find layer after layer og "geekspeak" that translated means "Yo, bubba,...you done got into a big shit storm here!" Then I saw a "click here to download instructions to correct the situation",..and BAM, I mashed the button. The printer whirrred, the motor came on and dragged the paper over the drum, dry, microscopic particles of "black stuff" being fused onto the page and oput it comes.
They looked simple enough, "go to the "add/remove programthingy, remove a thing called "Frameworks.NET.2", download a new copy from the evil empire, load it, run it , and simply restart the tax program" (Shoot, I can at least do this shit!). Then I read the next line, ..."and if that doesn't work" and there were two more pages of do this, do that, and then another "and if that doesn't work", etc. etc.etc.
(Thank God Microsoft is not in the medical field, picture this,...so remove the heart from the body, carefully inspect it, turn it around 180 degrees and reinstall, then apply the high voltage paddles,.... and if that does not work..." you get the idea.)
Well fix one failed. I told the damn machine to remove the programthingy once I found it,(just like the pictures showed me), but alass it chunks, it grinds, it crawls on it's belly like a reptile,...then "pop" another screen saying, "We're sorry, we can not complete the removal process you requested and will notify Microsoft of the problem for you and then shut down". Well Whoopty Freakin' Do Dah, Thanks.
Option two doesn't even let me get that far before it croaks!So I try the other three or four "if that doesn't work then try.." options and none of them do. Well I gotta run out make copies of the marked up preliminary tax returns I had been reviewing, get them in the mail, and now back to the problem.
Now I notice I can't forward any e-mails with movie, or "wav" files on to my other friends, and about half way into start up all the little icons "blink out" and poof, then they are back.
So today I flew my trusty terminal rightinto the mouth of the beast, and down to the download files, looking for an answer. I found a relatively non-descript little 66 meg upgrade download called "XP Service Pak 3.0". I remember seeing 2.0 or 2.1 on my machine, but not 3.0. For the past month and a half every time I go to shut down it tells me I have automatic updates to install, and I say ok, and it chuncks and grinds and always does the same thing "Automatic Upgrade failed to execute, please try again, we will notify Microsoft of this problem,...click here to send" well I'm tired of it you hear me Bill (as in Gates), I'm tired of it!! So I push the download and install for the Service pak 3.0. I skipped right over all the disclaimers, all the "click here to insure your computer can hanlde it" buttons, all the flags, and then it tells me go take a shower, shave have lunch and come back in an hour or two! So I did.
Where else does a guy go when his mental strength has been sucked from his body and his defenses are at an all time low? Of Course to the Home Depot "Super store" , building supplies everything, and not a piece of "soft goods" i.e. clothes, shoes etc., computer stuff, or any of that. Just tons of "stuff" to build with! (Fortunately I got over that phase of my time here on earth doing that stuff, so it's harmless for me to be there.
Being a good dooby, I said to the wife, "Hey Honey, wanna go to Home Depot, we could always look for a new Vanity top for the bathroom?" (During one of our Hurricanes a few years ago the candle on the vanity top spilled hot wax all over it and burned and bubbled the top in several places. I'm a guy, just put a glass over the bully section and a vitamin bottle on the burned marks, no one will know!)
Now it looks like this little excursion is going to cost us about $4,000 for a vanity top,AND then a new Granite kitchen countertop, sinks, faucets, etc. etc. etc.
Moral of this day so far? A) If you marry a carpenters daughter you can't go wrong taking her to Victoria's Secret, but for God's sake never to a Super Building Supplies place. B) after the third "which color do you like, the Solarium Gold splatter, or the black victorian granite variation?" You stand tall, look her straight in the eye and say, "Happy Mothers Day Honey, you pick,...I'm going to the Barbeque section." (sigh)
But the 'puter seems to be healthy again so I guess I beat the evil empire. One out of two ain't bad. Time to go to Buster's, I think I got enough left for a couple of pints!
-30-

"Once upon a time,...before the internet."

2008-05-04T18:55:00.002-05:00

For those of you who follow my blog, you'll notice the last one I got a reply from "Sims". So who is this guy, why is he commenting,( like I really wish the rest of you would), and now the "Great Sims" is revealed!
Long ago in a far off galaxy, I dumped a "shitload" of my own money into developing the largest Country Western Night Club north of Washington D.C.(actually in a state known by it's motto "Live Free or Die". With a 3000 square foot dance floor, seating for over 900, and a motif of an old Cowboy western downtown and the dance floor being the street through town, complete with the stage being the "Opry House", 100 year old windows being the Lawyers office, the Bank, etc. and the entrance being through an old 4foot by 8 foot window opening, on to a "porch" from the local hotel, with a "grand Stairway" down to the street,.....well it was a "hot shit place". (To this day I am profoundly in awe at the numerous women who had the logo of my club tattooed on them. It was a really sexy stitched cowboy boot with a pointy toe and a single red rose laying across the toe. Thank you to my wife who designed it from a Sears and Roebuck catalog boot and a free hand Rose.)
Anyhow, as usual, I deviate. "The Great Sims" owned a cleaning company and I hired him to clean my club every night. BUT during the day he and I (both being EARLY Apple freaks!) used to kibitz. He'd come to my place and we'd play on this "newborn" called the Internet, in 1992 and 1993. (Interesting side note we actually got on by "corrupting" a University employee to give us student ID's and an acess code) So we played almost every day, then he'd disappear to run his night business, and I'd put on my cowboy boots, big ass belt buckle and jeans, and run mine.
We passed afternoons back then wondering what if we registered "cocacola.com", and ibm.com, and even apple.com, but at $75 per name, and neither of us with a real pot to piss in, we passed with a sigh.
Sims was one of the great ones who hung in there with me to the very last shot of the gun and the drop of the gavel into bankruptcy. After that Sims hired me, I cleaned office buildings and 132 toilets a night, to put food on the table and pay my bills, Sims never ever rubbed my face in it that my "company" owed his company almost $5,000, and for that I am eternally grateful. Every once in your life someone comes along who REALLY fills the definition of the word "friend", and Sims is one of them!
Sims, for his "shy" nature, was also a huge adventurer, hence a year or so later after I got back on my feet and was managing a computer store, (Apple, is there any other "maximus" computer made?), Sims and I kept communications open. (Someday I'll write about the self righteous alcohol "nazi's" and thier "20 questions to determine if you are an alcoholic. Remember them Sims?)
But one day after I moved to Florida, I got an e-mail from Sims, he'd left the country, gone to a little Island in the Mediterranean, hooked up with a woman we both knew, and was having the time of his life. That was about 1999,.....and guess what? He's still there, and everyonce in a while "pops" in on my blog and leaves a "pithy" comment. (Do you think "pithy" is a little heavy Sims?)
But I have to say Sims is one of those folks that if we ran into each other tomorrow morning it would be real hugs (sorry Sims it's a new millenium!), a couple of pints of Guinness, and several more hours and ten's of pints of Guinness as we caught up, long into the "dawn's early light"!
Sims is that "real best friend" that eludes most people in thier entire life time.
Mr. Guinness
P.S. Sims, I still haven't hit the lottery, but when I do I'm coming over there, have a few pints, and then we are off to Ireland, to find a friendly pub that appreciates good Irish Pub music,...and of course the master,Dylan!!
-30-

Why do I feel like I'm getting old,...fast!

2008-05-03T09:27:00.002-05:00

Been a real "Nantucket sleigh ride" this month. ("Nantucket sleigh ride" is a term dating back to the 1800's. When a whaling crew harpooned the whale it was hang on and pray. The whale dragged the little 16 foot or so dory all around the ocean, until he eventually died from loss of blood, but history had it that it was 100 times wilder than the worst amusement park ride you can ever think of, and all you can do is hang on for dear life!)
Anyway, work is still a pain in the ass, I'm getting farther and farther behind, picked up a new asociation of 195 homes, and they are certifiably crazy to the bone, at least the ones in charge on the Board of Directors.(Presidents husband gets in a physical "altercation" with a neighbor caught on video tape by the cameras on the gate, (both in thier 60's!), they have an annual meeting with more lawyers than the US Supreme Court, and each one exploring new BIZZARE legal thingies. "I want all the ballots disqualified", and "all the proxies are null and void", and one guy on a soap box rapping on about "why can't we all just get along?", and me? Well I have to keep this trainwreck on the tracks and moving forward. (Strategy? Buy $1,000 worth of BBQ with all the fixin's, set it up on tables below the meeting room by the pool with the windows open, time it for 90 minutes after this circus begins, and sit back)
Comments begin having more saliva, and the tastebuds are vibrating into new levels of frenzy, then someone stands up and says, "look let's just move this along we've all got other things to do (EAT,EAT,EAT!)"
Is there a motion to adjourn? (Loud raucous bunch of mumbling as they head for the door like Pavlov's dogs,....Yup I'll take that as a duly made motion, seconded and voted unanimously! (Aaaaah only 364 days til this circus is back in town!)
Go home, have a pint or two, and pack for a course I have to take in Orlando,Florida at Disney World on "managing meeting and elections" At $225 a night, $495 for the course, I sure as shit am not spending another $600 to fly there and back, I'll drive it, only $80 in gas each way and 7 hours of "windshield time" each way, aaaaah but the peace and quiet of some new age music in the CD player, as the commercial says "Priceless!" Oh shit, the tires are a tad smooth, make that another $600 for four new tires and a front end alignment! (But the good news was I was tooling the whole way at 80 miles an hour with no "shimmy" or vibrations! Set a new land speed record from my house to Disney World 6 hours flat!)
The course was a two day thing, so I figured I'd stay Sunday night, Monday Night, Tuesday night and head out Wednesday morning for the drive back. As luck would have it there were only 7 of us in the class we covered everything in one day, and all I had to do was show up tueday morning at 8am, take the final test (35 minutes) and BAM, "On the road again!" So I canceled tuesday nights stay and headed back.
My boss is calling twice a day in a panic with the old "what do you do about this?", and "what do you do about that?" (Ain't it nice to be missed?) But when I get back he tells me he can't afford to hire an Aministrative Assisstant for me just yet. But he volunteers be act as my Administrative Assisstant until he can. (That's rich!! Can you imagine the owner of the firm taking notes for me, mailing our flyers, handling important calls ("Someone's dog shit on my lawn you need to do something about it!", or the old "Those landscapers are ruining my azealas you need to come out here and show them how to prune them properly." (Quick aside: Lady, you're talking to a city boy if it's green you mow it, and I don't know an 'Azeala' from a Tulip, so you sure as hell don't want me showing anyone how to prune or your precious 'Azealas' will be the same height as your lawn, your trees, and what's left of you fancy flower beds. Nothin' personal just "horticulteral Evil run wild")
So I'm back up to my belly button in paperwork, a bunch of folks who need to find a life, and a two hundred pound anchor sitting in my gut all day long. (Guess we won't be giving up drinking this month!)
But is that fair to me, my wife, and my cat? I'm awake at 3 a.m. flipping and flopping in the bed, running through "To Do" lists mentally unable to go back to sleep, waking up the wife, rolling onto the cat (man are they quick!) Gotta find a solution. I did a little math and my Accounts constitute almost $140,000 of the annual revenue and $150,000 of the grief. Help,....I need a solution here.
By the by, it's Saturday, including my two days of drive time this week, the 20th straight day I'm going to have to go to work. This is really begining to suck!
Well off to work, I'll write some more tomorrow.
I love my job, and what I do, I just hate having to put up with mutant alien life forms who, in thier volunteer capacity, are emminently sure they can do my job far better that I, and that the proper way to pronounce "Professional Association Manager" is "GO-PHER"
Well I'm making your life easier cause I got all the "whackos" of the world cornered here, so enjoy your day.
(Sorry this sounds like a rant, but it beats me going out and shooting some son of a bitch becasue they want me to show 30 Mexican landscapers who don't speak English how to trim "Azealas", which by the way is no where in my employment cont5ract nor our firms management contract. And when they are made aware of that the reply is, "I don't care you work for us and you will do what we tell you to do, or you and your firm won't be working here long."
"Ooooops! Did my Grey Poupon spill all over your frock? How careless of me! I do hope you can get it out. (He,He,He, He, you sad excuse for a human being!)
-30-

Taize!!

2008-04-06T12:01:00.002-05:00

Something new for me,..but I love it.
Having been born and brought up Roman Catholic there are certain things you can not miss out on. Like all the ceremonies, all the mystical formats and "pomp and Circumstance", the heirarchy of seminarians, priest, monsignors, bishops, arch-bishops, cardinals, and of course Pope. Now don't get me wrong here, but I want more out of a spiritual moment than the 63 years of what I've gotten thus far, and it is definately not longer, more "sermonizing", or joining one of the other ministries or committees in my local church.
If I seem to go a little deep in this blog, just write it off to me sitting here on a Sunday afternoon, full blown head cold, not up to par, or whatever else you care to call it but read on, and please let me know your opinion as well.

One of the single most things that gave me a "shot" of spitiuality was what is called "Gregorian Chant" this was a type of Latin song style invented, (Oops! let's be correct here!)chosen and dictated as the official choice of Christian music by Pope Gregory "the Great" (590-614 AD). The reason? It was slow, did not have a "zippy tune" or "catchy refrain" and was more like a "drone" in a big empty building. (Of course this was when the whole of Christianity was Roman Catholic, almost 1000 years before Martin Luthor posted his thesis on the doors of the Wittennburg Cathedral!)
Now having gone to 12 years of Catholic school I got my fair share of Gregorian Chant in Latin. (Can't say I understood the words, but if you miss a note Sr. Mary whatever was there with her pitchpipe and ruler to be sure you got it right next time. But I deviate.
My wife who is in this local "ecumenical chior", came home a couple of moths ago and announced her chior was going to do a "Taize" type concert, (and of course my attendance was compulsory, as usual) So as she headed off to all the practices I had a bit of spare time and looked up this "Taize" stuff on Google, went to thier web site and started reading through it.
At first glance it was a sort of non-denominational, almost Catholic kind of monastary sort of experiance at someplace called Taize, about four hours outside Paris. The thing that impressed me as I read was it's basic simplicity, the HUGE numbers of young people who walked, rode, and any other way they could just to go there. Not just German's French, Italian, but African, Bolivian, Phillipino, Korean and Australian, and just about every other corner of the world. This was peeking my interest. (If today's youth see's a value then there is definately something worth looking into there.) I also noticed Pope John Paul the 23rd dropped by a few times himself! (That was impressive as well, as Popes have better things to do than check out little "communes" around the world.)
There was a basic explanation that what they "provided" was a SIMPLE method of knowing God. Chant was the basis, not long and complex, but simple and repetative and brief. In all different languages they chanted, then there was a reading of a couple of sentances from the Bible, then another chant, then silence for as long as you cared to stay and "talk to God, one on one". The average service took less than 10 minutes! But the sheer noumber of people was amazing. The Bible verse was read aloud in at least four different languages, one right after the other. Sounded "cool"! I started listening to some of the other chants they had on the website in MP3 format and enjoyed them as well. Then came the concert!
As I entered this local church where they always had these ecumenical concerts, I noticed the chior was not in it's usual place up front on a sort of "stage", but they were scattered all over the church in the pews! (First thought they were trying to do some last minute learning of the parts in silence. OK so I jumped to conclusions.) The lights were dimmed and there were a lot of lit candles all over the place. I glanced at the watch, (they better get up and get to the choir loft or something there is less than a minute til it starts,....but they didn't move.) Then I noticed the chior Director come in and sit down at her piano at the BACK of the church. She started playing a little tune, and the chior just began siiging from where they were. IT was outstanding, after a couple of short (no more than two minutes each) chants, the local minister stepped up to the microphone and of course my cynical mind thinks "Okay here we go lot's of sermon coming up) Less than 15 second later he finishes and sits down! Then the Choir does another chant, again short ones, and then the chior director announces there will be a period of silence for contemplation. After what seemed like an hour (my cynical mental clock, it was probably no more than five minutes of silence. The choir started another chant, and repeated the entire sequence of chant, reading, and silence. This time I got into the whole thing. The simple chant echoed in my mind, the one sentance reading also rattled around with the chant, and I found I loved the silence. I could really concentrate on the words of the reading, and becasue it was so short it had meaning, the chant helped me relax and open myself to other than my troubles, and my world, and you know what? It was spiritual!
I stayed there almost twenty minutes AFTER the "concert" ended, just thinking and relaxing "talking" to God. I really think He listens to us, I really think He cares, but the bottom line (again the cynical business guy in me)is He expects us to talk to Him.
If you are interested go to "www.taize.fr/en_article681.html",.....enjoy!

Oh,....another Sunday rolls by,...

2008-03-02T14:05:00.002-06:00

Today is March 2nd, it marks the "flight of the Snowbirds" from our shores and I age a whole bunch,....quickly. Let me do the Rod Serling explanation for you,...
"Remember if you will when the notorious "snowbirds" descended on your community. Those retirees from the upper mid-west (i.e Minnasota, Indiana, Michigan,...and the dreaded Canadian Provinces) they are all on fixed incomes and have pretty much blown through thier own retirement monies, are living on Social Security, and actually save money coming down South to Florida rather than staying home, buying heating oil for thier "homes" and risking heart attacks and broken jips on ice and snow. But in everything there is a silver lining!
Even at 63 I can sit at the bar and feel like a teenager drinking my Guinness each evening on my way home. You see they ARE old,...me? Like I said a kid trapped in an aging body, but the mind of a 30 something. So during thier three months down here I actually feel younger,...but alas they are leaving March 1st through the 15th,because the rental rates quadruple in less than 12 hours! What was $800 a month last Friday is now $2400 a week!! Holy shit Batman!
So who's paying that you ask? How about the 23 testosterone dripping sophmores from the University of Whogivesashit from one of those more Northern climates who has been freezing his ass off all winter studying,starving, and (ahem!) not really getting any because it's too cold to think about stripping!
Daddy, the propserous Attorney, Doctor, Entrepreneur, Swindler, Rapist or otherwise wealthy dude doesn't want the kid at home. He just got used to a "quiet" martini, a little Bach, and listening to the potted plants growing. Sooooo! You do the next best thing, you ask him if he'd like to take a couple friends and use the "beach house" for his weeks "Spring Break"! (Duh! FREE lodging, maid service twice a week, two solid fake I.D.'s in the pocket, and girls all over the joint,....sign me up!)
The "couple" of friends good old "Dad" envisioned, (the nice chemistry major with the thick glasses you roomed with, and the other roomie, Chuck or Charles or something, you know the guy who was a Theology Major) well you see Dad, Junior has a problem. To a horny college Sophmore a "couple of Buddies" means anyone who can kick in enough for the entire output of the Budweiser factory for three days, and who can "pound back" 16 Tequila shooters before Lunch, that knows of any "girls" coming in this direction.
That means starting tomorrow my favorite "Pub" will be overun with the turned around ball caps, college "Property of the University of ******" tee shirts, more "flip-flops" than there are people in China, and the "three inches below the knee baggy rappa' wanna' be" shorts. (See what happens? I'm aging right before your eyes as I write! Oh God, thirty more minutes and I'm off to the Pub)
Frankly the only reason I even tolerate these "future assholes of our country" is because the girls come as well. (Oh did I mention there is another prerequisite besides the Bud, the flip-flops etc. that's inviting a few girls to join the party. You will all behave like brother and sister together for the whole week, and exercise the utmost in human self-control,.....NOT! At least not after your car is ten miles away from your driveway in Bloomington Indiana.)
The girls are good. I guess. I'm too busy using my brainpwer to figure out what law of physics hold thier clothes on, and what kind of feed them Famrma's up there is usin' to grow them critters that big at that age, and what kind of exercise program do they have to strengthen them enough that they can stand up and not fall over forward! The battle cry of us "older" folks enjoying our cold malt beverage at the bar is "INCOMING!", and I don't mean mortar rounds.
Well time to stock up on the Geritol, the heart medicine, and the dark glasses, ("Honest Honey I was watching the road not the blonde with the 44Double D's three blocks down on the right!)
Like the words of the old song, about spring I say,...."You make me feel so young!"
-30-

It's all about "decency"!!

2008-02-29T07:01:00.002-06:00

And NO!, I'm not talking about lovely short skirts, bikini's etc. What I'm taling about is a sense of decorum about our U.S. media.
For example, if one works hard, educates him/her self works with a passion toward thier objectives, then it is almost inevitable they will be successful. But is it a "flawless" success? Probably not, because we are all of the human species, prone to a mistake here and there, prone to a moment of weakness, and occasionally prone to allowing our "emotions" drive the bus. But that's where "decency" comes into play. And most of it revolves around timing. For example, two of the sharpest businessmen to ever "do thier thing", in my mind were Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric, and Lee Iacocca, former CEO of Chrysler Corporation. They both came up from NOTHING, worked hard, educated themselves, and God knows worked with unbelievable passion toward their objectives,....and succeeded!
So what happens? Jack is portraayed as a horny old rich spoiled egotist who runs off with a "floozie", leaving his "faithful wife" in the dust, screwing with his former company and giving himself a "golden parachute squared exponentially".
And poor Lee, well he didn't pull any real "bone-head" moves that the press has unearthed yet,....so they just dismiss him as a "probable" dementia victim, definately "looney" and would rather he just throw some horseshoes at the rest home and shut the hell up publically.
But let's talk about politicians. John McCain, "hot shot" jet jockey, shot down, imprisioned for seven years, tortured, etc. no doubt a hero, tough as nails, motivated, driven, and "a survivor". His claim to fame over the past twenty years or so has been being a politician, and a "rebel" at that, but what did he single handedly drive or do AND complete for the betterment of the many? (Answers may be directed to me bu hitting the "reply" button at the bottom of this blog)
Hillary Clinton, failed to get a good health plan working, had VERY questionable dealings in real estate, opted to run for the U.S. Senate in New York, basically because it was easy pickin's and open at the time, not out of any great love of New York I can assure you. Oh yeah and her Academy Award winning performance at the Best "Stand by your man" impersonation in motion picture history. But what else has she done to merit my even passing thought at her candidacy?
Barak Obama, got an education, came from a strange background, holds religious beliefs totally and diametrically opposed to those of our country, that is if he really believes in what his religion says, "There is but one God and Allah is his name." Guess all the Catholics, Baptists, Methodists, Episcopalans, Unitarians, Mormans, Jews, etc., etc. etc. better start looking for another country. How can one possibly reconcile the basic cornerstone of one's faith with "one nation under God" which grants freedom of religion as it's cornerstone. Cynic, yes!!
Well, got to go to work. Some idiot with this yappy little dog just will not keep the little critter on a leash. (Gated community, rules are rules you know.) He's been fined a hundred dollars at least four times, refuses to pay, (frankly there is nothing we can really do to him), BUT send your e-mails to me you know? "You have to take care of this", "This is a MAJOR" problem", "It's your job to stop this violation!"
"FREE Yappy little shit of a dog, hasn't fatally injured anyone yet, comes with arrogant old fart owner and crotchety ancient neighbors as a package...call 1-800-give a shit, or write your local PETA group, or send coin of the realm for my "retirement" to a country with no gated communities, no yappy little shit doggies, old people who smile, drink tea, and are just sooooo glad to be on this side of the grass that they are nice!
THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!!!

-30-

I'm really getting bad at keepin' up

2008-02-26T07:10:00.002-06:00

No apology, no excuses I just haven't written.

Let me see what I can rustle up for you.
Passed into 63'hood quietly, got health insurance coming April 1st, getting a preliminary indication of a tax refund,still on this side of the grass, and according to my wife I'm getting much more "cranky".
Friend of mine who was a full bird Colonel in the USAF sent me some footage of a C-130 aircraft attaching a bunch of insurgents. Damn have we gotten sophisticated. All I could think of was the scene from the Tom Clancy movie "Patriot games", the little moving white figures and the shaded grey visuals of trees, fences, vehicles and buildings and the little white tracer rounds and "poof" trucks disappear, little stick men evaporate, a voice over of the "fire controller" with comments like "to your left, behind the water tower,....he's running,...smoke 'em." And poof another stick man goes to meet his 70 Virgins.
(Here comes the cranky part!) If I've said it once I've said it a hundred times, if we are doin' war, ...let's do war!
I am not a "hawk", but neither am I a "dove", I never ran from a fight, but then again I don't pick fights either. If you attempt to rain on my parade you WILL get a bolt of lightning right up your ass. So what does that make me?

'Nother subject, this election. It scares the shit out of me. First time in my life I ever saw not a single winner poossible! Sure someone will win, but the election is about our Country winning,....and no matter who is elected we are going to lose!
(Another cranky point here!) I blame the root cause of poor leadership in this country solely on the damn media. Even I wouldn't run for dog catcher! We are all human beings, and at some point (except for Jesus Christ!) we've all done something stupid, dumb or hurtful to others. Does that make us evil bastards who don't deserve to live? Hell no! But our media feels obligated to expose every scrap of humanity in our being regardless of it's impact, simply to make a profit, be it selling newspapers, getting more for commercial time on TV or Radio, or just plain pushing an agenda.
Now I've always voted, and I try and think it through and make my vote count. But this year, which also feels like a "Star date 34756.8 we are continuing the Election process", I have a real severe case of "Electile Dysfunction" I really don't give a shit who is elected, it's a loss for our Country.
And the next "terrorist attack" well it's not an "if" as a friend of mine said, but a "when".
Ok, baby steps I started writing words again, maybe more tomorrow, time to go to work and be cranky. (Got one co-employee who constantly says "I'm sorry" and my patience is about done. Maybe today iis the day I reply, "Don't be sorry either do your job right or tie a concrete block to your leg and go swimming!"

Owwww! I am cranky!
-30-

Oh shit,....my blood pressure is spiking!!

2008-02-13T19:39:00.002-06:00

One of my biggest shortfalls is that I am an intense son of a bitch! No matter what i do or say I am intense about things of which I'm passionate. Sooooo, does that make me a bead person?
According to the doctors YES, according to my wife ABSOLUTELY, according to my neighbors and business acquaintances NO, to them I'm just "f***ing crazy"! So what's the problem?
(If I had to side with any of these folks,....well,....it would be with neighbors and business acquaintances.) BECAUSE I AM!!!
Well more tomorrow, ...the wife is telling me for the eighth time that my dinner is getting cold! Again I ask if my determination of cold is the same as hers? NOT!!!
-30--

OK,....so I'm bad!

2008-02-09T18:06:00.000-06:00

Welcome back earthlings, please join us in the quality appointed lounge of the galactic flagship "WhothehellareU" for a refreshing beverage and civil talk,......or just be like the rest of the world and read on to the rantings of an old fart! Either way it's your choice (scary, huh?)
It's Saturday afternoon again. I went to work this morning at 8:30 to clean my desk, decided at 10:00 am I needed a massage and booked an appointment for 1:30pm, re-arranged the deck chairs on the Titanic, too advantage of my two "new" four drawer legal file cabinets, and put "shit" in the drawers. (Understand two things,...1. Who the hell uses LEGAL size anything besides lawyers? And don't get me started afterall I'm being sued by one, sueing another, asking advise from a third, fourth, fifth and sixth,....shit this is even confusing me!! And 2. how the hell do you put letter size shit into legal size drawers?
Anyway an hour and a half later the drawers are full, my desk is empty, and the joint looks clean and neat!
My boss shows up and says "What are you in for on Saturday?" "One for the team, catching up so I can hit the field running on Monday, etc., etc." He's happy but sitting in his office cursing his computer for it's slowness. "Say boss, when was the last time you de-fraged your computer?" "De-what?"
Being a nerdy old fart I tell him, "look boss, when your through just let me know when you leave and I'll start the de-frag program for you , it will probably take six or eight hours to run." (Cool!, I'll be outta here in an half hour, just stopped in to call a few bud's, I want to go sight in these two new rifles I got for deer hunting this afternoon." (Yuk,....killing Bambi? Now that's un-civil, and barbaric! Mr. Guinness philosophy, am I against shooting animals? Absolutely not,...but only if you have to feed yourself or your family! Sport hunting is barbaric. What's the difference between it and "sport shagging"?)
Anyway I get a grateful "go for it, I'll leave my computer on for you." (Now is that a trusting boss and owner of the company, or what?)
Off to my massage,....yea God!!! It was wonderful! I firmly believe that if we simply paid for everyone to get a weekly massage the amount of disease and crap would be severely reduced. SICK is mis-spelled,it should be spelled S-T-R-E-S-S!
Anyway an hour of my life evaporated, I feel great, relaxed and de-stressed, SOOOOO back to the office finish up some more "stuff" go visit a few of my properties, and off to the Pub. (Masseuse said I should drink plenty of liquids after the massage,...who am I to dispute her?)
Now I'm home, waiting for "mama" and her sister to come home from church,(I'm an old fashion Catholic,...Church is on Sunday morning!) and we are going out to one of my wife's favorite restaurants,..."Stinky's Fish Camp"! They have a token "real" food for "fish challenged" like myself,...wonder what it is? Well at least the Vino list is good! (The wife can't understand why we never get out of there for under a hundred dollars,...I hate fish, so I always have "fillet of Merlot", or " a Grand Cru of Shiraz" (she never notices the wine, because she loves the fish!)
Got to go they are in the driveway honking and wondering.
See you tomorrow!
-30-

All's well!

2008-01-21T20:28:00.001-06:00

All's well with my buddy whose wife donated a kidney to his son. In fact they did the operation on Friday and she was home on Saturday! His son is doing fine as well, the kidney readings are all back within normal parameters and he and his wife (my hero!) will be down to our sunny little piece of paradise for a few months rest, recuperation, and sucking pints together.
Look forward to see you guys, and remind me to tell you about the blonde and blowwin' in my ear,.....or not!
-30-

Oh Lucy,....where are you?

2008-01-19T16:08:00.000-06:00

Was it something I said? My paranoia made me say that!!! So wherer are you?
Mr. Guinness

OK, step up or "whatever"!

2008-01-17T18:45:00.000-06:00

Some of you read my blog and never leave a comment, and that's ok. But I'd like to ask you all to take and "kick it up a notch", and check out my dear friend "Lucy". She's halfway around the world, one of the most "up front and honest" people I've ever met, and she is REAL!
In my "sidebar" you wil see a blog I follow called "the Antilogy", click on it and I will guarantee you you will be pleased. "Lucy", (not her real name), is excellant at expressing herself, "dead on" honest, and a "real" human being.
Check her out and follow her blog,.....I do!

Selfless acts,...there still are some out there.

2008-01-16T07:39:00.000-06:00

My friend who is in his 70's physically, but mid 40's mentally (like all of us whose "power train" is becoming a "high mileage" obstacle to our desire to break land speed records) has a son who needs a Kidney.
Ok we all will sumise that his family all steps forward and a magic "donor" is found, but I guess that didn't work. So somehow my friends wife steps up and says "try me!" and it is a workable solution. So she is donating one of her kidneys sometime in the next week or so!
Didn't have to! Probably wasn't expected to! And I would imagine nothing would ever have been said if she did'nt,.....but she did! That is selfless, and besides the respect I had for the lady before,...well, she's moved WAY UP THE LADDER of people I really respect in this world. Thank you is not enough, but life is strange sometimes.

On other fronts it is cold here (50's and low 60's) , no bathing suits for locals! You can tell the locals we wear sweaters, jackets and shiver. The tourists from Minnesota and other God forsaken northern regions that vacation here,...well they are the ones in the shorts and bathing suits!
Time marches on and another year is in the books, next month I move into the 63rd year of being here. A number of other "significant" things happen in the next couple months as well, but more on them later on next month, don't want to risk a "jinx".
Well gotta get up and go before my get up and go got up and went!
Be kind to each other and remember, like the e-mail my brother in law sent the other day,...men have two emotions,..hunger, and horny!
-30-

Speed is good,...especially on a computer!

2008-01-15T07:09:00.000-06:00

Just had my "techie" over last night. I sensed something might be awry with my computer. (Tromp up to the pit, turn on the moniter, turn on the desktop, wait a minute or so, select my icon, .....and leave. Go downstairs, get a cup of coffee, go shave, shower, and get dressed, refill the coffee cup, and go back up to the pit. Still several little icons in the lower right corner to come up! Finish second cup of coffee, .....aaaaaah now we're ready to go!)
I guess I've got the dreaded "start-up fetish". I've heard about it, but now I have to face the fact that I have it. (There must be a 12 step program for it!) All these absolutely, can live without them, need them right at my fingertips, great little thingies just sitting there waiting for me to call on them,.....alas, no more. They are all gone, well almost all.
My techie knows me well enough that as we poured the second full glass of the Australian Shiraz he stopped asking me, "What about this one?" His fingers moved deftly around the keyboard, he never missed a beat, and an hour later my 'puter was going from completely shut down and off to ready to go in under 1 minute and 30 seconds.
"Man do you know how much memory you have?" (Now that's a question us "oldsters" really fear! Is he talking me or the machine? I'll guess machine, just to be safe.
"No, I know I loaded it when I bought it three years ago."
"You got 512 man, ...no wonder this thing crawls."
"So what should I get?"
Whiz, whiz, click, clack, enter, enter, enter.
"That's what you really need , a gig. You pull one of the 256 modules and put in a gig and bam you got a gig and a quarter and she'll just run all over the room for you!"
"Could you flag that page and I'll order it later?"
So after he left, thirty three seconds of contemplation, a third glass of Shiraz, and poof! Dell tells me the gig is on the way! And only 93.75 to my door. This puppy better sing and dance as it's running around the room, I'll tell you that!
Well I better head out for work. The "techie" we use there is an idiot of the mangnitude of Fred Flintstone. My computer was fine yesterday when I went in, the bookeeper's computer was not able to get on the internet, old Ricky Retardo shows up, runs into the server room tweeks this, swaps a couple patch cables around, comes out and closes the door to the "server room" a/k/a cleaning supplies closet, with this really smug look on his face and says, "Ok you're all set, try it now., as he heads for the door without even breaking stride. As his foot goes over the threashold to the outside the bookeeper say's "great, thank you" and with a blaze of light, and a hearty "Hi-Ho CPU!!!" the Lone Techie disappears.
I finish working on the spreadsheet I was working on ten minutes later, do the appropriate key strokes to have it print to our super slick "I do everything but bring you hot women and cold beer" state of the art printer, and NOTHING happens.
I reenter all the appropriate key strokes, still nothing. I call to the bookeeper, "Hey can you print?" She hits a few keys and responds in bookeeperese, (A language of single sylable words, grunts, and groans, of which I can comprehend "NO."
I save my spreadsheet and figure I'll worry about that later. I've got a couple of contracts I need to finish and I've been waiting since Friday for the final ok's from the Board of Directors, so I'll just dash onto my e-mail and check the incomings. (Old fart note: "Incoming" was not a good word to use between 1964 and 2003. Folks, particularly men of veterans ages from the Viet Nam "conflict", would "duck, roll and cover", so just be careful when you use that term around us!)
No internet access!! Well I try again later, let me go on the server and pull down the final version of the contracts from where I put them Friday. SHIT, I can't get onto the server either. Give me a gun! I want techie blood,.....NOW!
Long story short he can't get out til this morning. (It amazes me how they can sense the fact that a warm, 6x8 room with no view, shitty food and lights out at ten for the rest of your natural life REALLY doesn't seem such a big price to pay when your computer goes down right after "Super Techie" announced to the world all was right on heaven and earth and with "the system" and evaporates from the building!)
I want to be there when he shows and torment him into tweaking my machine and PROVING to me it really is fixed and every component of the system will continue to work flawlessly after he does his evaporation trick this time.
-30-

Life is heating up!

2008-01-13T13:02:00.000-06:00

Well buckeroos, since we last talked I've managed to get my self sued by a former employer for a dumb non-compete contract that is unenforceable by it's very terms ("Employer hereby agrees to continue to employ Employee"....In case you dickheads didn't noticed you fired me, ergo you the employer is not continuing "to employ the Employee" to wit me!!
I've turned my daughter the pit bull of para-legals, loose on someone who ownes me about $75,000 since 1993 and hasn't even paid the 8% simple interest the contract calls for or the $1,000 a month since 1993 either. Go get'em kid, you WILL get a nice piece of the action. (My policy is try not to hire a lawyer,...just sire one!)
Oh yeah and I'm back on the Board of Directors of our Homeowners Association and put more IED's on the table at the Board meeting this past Wednesday that all the terrorists in Iraq last month! (So what part of when I left the Board about 16 mothes ago there were literally thousands of dollars in our "prior years earnings",...now the new financial statements I got just before the meeting tell me there is only $0.84 !!!! EIGHTY-FOUR freakin' cents!! Oh Lucy,(not the good princess from Sydney)...someone got some esplainin' to do!"
After nine years as my faithful pet, (rescued from being a ferral kitten) my cat finally wants to climb up on my lap every time I sit down and be petted, or just plunk down between me and my 'puter screen! And even my wife said there was no hope! See, I am a kind and generous "Daddy".
I just saved a client over $48,000 on a single contract and get a silly e-mail that thinks we should "cap any increases for the next 3 to 5 years before deciding"!!
Am I the only old fart who heard the term, "take the money and run" it's a bloody contract! We got 'em for at least a year at this reduced price!
And to make matters worse I have a nasty habit, as I get older, of hurting myself while I sleep!! Last night I apparently slept on my shoulder, cutting off the circulation, apparently bruising the muscle, and my right arm feel like a three hundred puond piece of dead weight! (Another hour I head for the Pub,...I'm sure they have some medicine there which will ease my pain!)
Oh, and after carefully planning my career education so as to have taken every course I need to get the equivalent of a Phd. in my field by the end of this year, I just get an e-mail from a friend that they may have to cancel one critical course because all the hotels are booked for spring break! (Again, If it's tourist season just tell me how many I can "bag" before I hit my limit? Is that such a difficult thing to answer?)
Good news, my New England Patriots Football team won thier 17th straight game. One more and I get to wear my "worn only once (3 years ago) Tom Brady (the quarterback) game shirt", my Patriots ball cap, consume vast quantities of Guinness during the Super Bowl, declare the Monday after a "National Holiday" (to recover). Life has some little rewards! ("Game shirt $65, embroidered Ball cap $40,...no objections from the wife for consuming vast quantities of Guinness,...priceless!!)
My computer Guru is coming over tomorrow evening to "clean" my computer. I have an Intel Pentium 4, 3 gig processor, a hard drive that is 70% free space, operating on XP Pro, but it takes almost twenty minutes to start up!! I'm a packrat for desk top icons and funky little programs and shortcut shit! (Ok so I don't know shit about this instant messaging crap, but the Yahoo instant messenger and the other one are both in my start up "stuff",....you know, just in case I need them.
Speaking of computer crap! My Blackberry is giving me fits and starts. It's been so bloody annoying I have talked to every tech at the B'berry call center at least twice! They are so used to my calls that when my name comes up on thier end they just say "Hey Tom, what's the problem?" and don't even ask me for my bloody "Account pin" or "First pets name" or Mother's maiden name! (Well isn't that speshul!)
I think maybe I am losing patience and may accelerate the Sunday afternoon Pub visit. Afterall I blame the TV networks! (This ought be a damn good one! "So why is it the TV networks fault you have to go to the Pub earlier than usual?" )
It's simple, they figure the folks on the East Coast got more money to buy bigger TV's or stuff they see on the commercials, so they pander to them and have the games on at "Eastern Standard Time" or an hour earlier than the time zone I'm in, "Central Standard Time". So the "1 pm eastern time" playoff game is noon time, my time zone. I'm lovin' Guinness, but noon on Sunday is a real stretch! (Two things to know here. First, I guess that's why I'm really rested on MOnday becasue I'm going to bed early Sunday night, and Second, If I lived in California I'd be drinkin' at 9 in the morning!!! Not a good thing!
-30-

Help!!! I'm scared to death!

2008-01-01T12:22:00.000-06:00

Ask a simple question today, and you WILL get a simple answer, which by the way 9 times out of 10 is,..."I dunno!".
Where are the brains today?
Case in point as most of you know by now I manage property, like condominium Associations and Homeowners Associations. One of the real "hot buttons" is who owes us how much. When the economy tightens, we go into a mild "recession", or worse, people tend to become what are called "slow pays", or in other words are holding onto what's left of thier money for dear life or just don't have any more to pay bills with. Part of my job is to "shake the tree" and make sure all my client's membership are up to date on thier payments. If not I get to slap the "lien" on them, threaten the foreclosure, and indeed actually go ahead and do it on some. Do I like it? Hell no, ...but it's got to get done.
One way to avoid the angst is to constantly stay on top of who owes you what and in a lot of cases if you do stay on top they will pay up without to much pressure. (Jez,...do I sound like some cut-throat nasty son of a bitch!)
Anyway, the Board of Directors for whom I work always want to know "What's our accounts recievable balance?" Or how much we owed? One of the accounting programs favored because of it's low cost and simplicity of operation is called "Quickbooks Pro". By and large it does a good job, but boy does the old IT adage GIGO or "garbage in, garbage out" apply!
It simply adds up the account balances and "nets" them into a total,...and poof, that's it. Let's say you owe me six months at $100 a month, or a total of $600,...and let's say Bob has already "prepaid" for the next six months or so, to me. Well, the total of the Accounts Recievable is going to net to ZERO! NOTHING, NADA. So when an "accountant" hands me such a report and I in turn hand it to "The Board" everyone seems happy,...but they shouldn't be! As each month goes by the number gets bigger and bigger, because what you pre-paid me is getting smaller and smaller. Then finally one day the Board says to me, "This person hasn't paid a dime in six monthes,what have you done about it?"
Unless someone can take the fourteen page, single spaced pile of numbers and reduce it to something "eatable" I don't have the time to do it! And there is my problem. I have to depend on an Accountant, and the accountant hasn't a clue. They just put the square peg in the round hole, day after day after day, and until someone tells them "hey dummy, square peg, square hole, round peg round hole.
For example I have an account whose report says they are owned $27,000. When you take out all the "pre-paid" people, and the little "aggravation I ain't never gonna pay late fees and interest, it's like day and night difference, or over $40,000 owed! That's a BIG difference in my mind.
Got to go for now, but have a great new year!
-30-

"T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,...."

2007-12-24T15:41:00.000-06:00

That's what I woke up to this morning, running through my head!
Funny, but this has been one of those "who gives a shit!" years in terms of Christmas spirit for me. Why? Wish I really knew,...but I don't. There's enough nasty shit brewing, and that could be part of it, plus I'm closing in on 63 and the long term "outlook" is not one of roses and lollipops. (My fault, and I take responsibility for it!)
But I gotta tell you my faith in the braincells governing us are in very suspect position, the hope for our youth is in even worse shape, and I'm too damn tired to jump on my noble steed and fight it.
Sorry, I didn't want to screw up your Christmas,...(sigh) so on to things to be hopeful about.

Number two son and his wife are "with child" and expected delivery of Junw 2008, (looks like another trip to Utah!)
Number one daughter happier than a pig in slop doing "pro bono" work for Legal Aid and then wondering "who's gonna pay the rent?" (Non-profit is about as close to slavery as you can come,...but you're doing it to benefit mankind! (But mankind aint' payin' the rent either!)
Number one son is in the Houston/Dallas area trying to make things happen for himself,...the good news here is that he's gone back to school nights and is amazed at how easy it is for him! (DUH! It's nothing new, just the reality of life they try and teach dumb 18 year olds who are more concerned with partying and a cute piece of ass every weekend! Do I sound opinionated? Naaaaaw! Not me!)
My dipshit old company is sueing me for a bogus non-compete clause and a couple of "tortious interferance with contractual relations" charges. (That was last Friday's good news!) Like I told the wife, the attorney, and everyone else that will listen, I ain't goin' there. Win lose or draw F*** 'em all! I'm simply moving on with my life, you want to battle me there will be a body count, but not mine! I am prepared to become a "guest of the State" if the Courts rule against me! What the hell, 3 squares a day, roof over the head, free clothes,....only bad part no local pub, but I can adapt!
The very last thing you want to ever do is piss on my shoes, I take that seriously, and Don Quixote was a rank amateur when it comes to being ethically driven and stubborn next to me!
Well maybe tomorrow morning I'll wake up to Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer and it will make Christmas a little brighter.
Again sorry to rain on your parade, but I really wish you all the best and have a joyous day!
-30-

An early Christams wish to all!!

2007-12-21T20:17:00.000-06:00

I've been caught up in the "worldly shit" of business this past few monthes,...and it sucks!! Here i am on December 21st, three days before Christmas, no Christmas spirit, no presents bought( other than good friends Carl and Doug) and I really don't care!! That SUCKS!
Well I won't expound tonight, but over this weekend I will , along with a few other "surprises", so as they used to say on TV,...."stay tuned"!

-30-

Told you I was going to write a "bunch" Chapter 3

2007-12-08T12:06:00.000-06:00

Next new find was a bit of a fluke. It was so flukey I don't even remember how I found it1 (God I love the web!!)
This one is under "www.genetree.com".
I've been interested in tracing my family lineage for decades, but I'm stuck when my grand parents got off the boat, because all the immagration dudes put was "Ireland", no county, no city or town,...nada! And me, having been a smart ass kiddie some fifty years ago, never bothered to ask them when they were still around, at least some of them. Now I find I am the patriarch of the entire family!! SHIT!
Anyway every once in a while I would get a passing thought about how wondeful it would be to get a "dna" swab and try and track my family that way. (Ok, so I watch WAAAAY too much CSI! No wisecrack Lucy!)
Well it seems this web site is actually trying to accomplish that in a way. As I understand it, and we all know that's really a stretch,...me understanding that is. This guy who started the company, which is out of Utah (I know, maybe it 's a Morman thing) has already rounded up over 750,000 dna files and thier objective seems to be to trace everyone on this earth back to the "Adam and Eve" origin. Well it facsinated me (see I told you it did'nt take much!) So I signed up.
The theory is that at one point in the history of the world there were "tribes", and these tribes were the basic "foundations" if you will to todays modern humanity. Inter "mingling" over the eons produced more and differing "tribes" and so on and so on.
(Yeah I know, ...so what!)
Well it really would be a so what if it were not for the fact that apparently the female of the species all contain a never changing mitochondrial gene. Therefore that one gene can be matched and traced back forming a "chain" of lineage. (And they said I slept through Science!)
Makes sense to me, so I signed up for a DNA kit and once I get it and take my own DNA and plunk it back into the system what will it tell me?
Basically it will trace my "tribe" back. Obviously I'm hoping it's European, then perhaps a Roman or Greek strain, and then who knows! Sounds like an interesting experiment and the, I think it's spelled Hapologue or similar will show the entire movement of my tribe troughout time, and history.
I said it before it does not take much to amuse me!!
If Kevin Bacon is only six times removed from me, I wonder what Caesar was, or King Arthur, oh shi,...maybe even Bill Gates! (Dear Mr. gates, irrefutable research has shown I am a relative of yours, so please be sure my name is spelled correctly in the will, sincerely Cousin ------.)
Ok I'm going on hour number four of my writing marathon.
Well i'm going to end here because I'm going to go to work on a new blog I'm putting together called "The Emerald Rose". I've written a few test blogs to it, and I am trying to make it more visually appealing than this one
TTFN

-30-

OOOOoooooopppppppss!!

2007-12-08T12:04:00.000-06:00

For all my jibber jabber about the Kiva project I spelled it wrong.
It's www.Kiva.org humble appologies, reading is fundamental!

Chapter Two - "I get by with a little help from my friends"

2007-12-08T11:01:00.000-06:00

One of my all time favorite Beatles tunes from "days of yore". But it has always been a reminder of us all helping each other out, whenever we can. Why? It's simple 'cause none of us is getting out of here alive! And that's a fact,...so do some good, it doesn't hurt and it's warmth to a little corner of your heart.
End of sermon (damn I shoulda been a preacher!)
I found some really neat new stuff on the web and I thought I'd share it with you, cause it might just warm a corner of your heart.
www.kivo.org , check it out. A friend of mine told me about a financial network TV program coming up the other night with a segment on "Second Life" (Yeah, I've been learning it for a couple of months already behind closed doors in the privacy of "the pit", names McCallen, ..Shawno McCallen if any of you get to second life, well look me up)
Anyway I digress. I watched the segment on second life with interest,, and then before I could switch back to a twenty-eighth re-run of "Law & Order", a new segment came on about this "Kivo", so I watched it.
Seems like in the less fortunate parts of the world there are people whose desire to support themselves and thier families, as well as not be "on the dole", or sucking of the public teat, and they have desire, ambition, an idea, but alas,...no money. (Sure sure I can hear you now, well so what so do a lot of people sounds like a scam coming up.) I said the same thing, but they explained the concept simply. It's not like the individual in Equador is looking for a half a million dollars for a MacDonals franchise, but a total of $700 to open a livestack sales business. Cool, but I don't have an extra $700 in my jeans. But they went on to say that all they would accept from anyone was $25. And if 28 of us "chipped in" $25 a piece it would be done, and it was not a "gift" but a business loan that would be repaid. The monies wnet directly to the "entrepreneur" through hundred of "micro banks", and the loans had to be repaid. The idea intrigued me, so when the piece ended I popped up stair to "the Pit" and checked it out.
www.kiva.org - sign up is free, and there is an international catalogue of entreprenuers, with thier picture, a summary of thier plan for thier business, a check out tht it's all on the "up and up" by the local "micro-bank", but what amazed me was the amount of money that the "micro-banks" , utilizing the measely $25 per person had put into economies from Equador to Tanzania, to Aberbajan. They were simple businesses, ideas of men, women, and groups of men and women. Being a bit of a skeptic I looked through the "money wanted" section at all the little businesses. The thing that truly amazed me was the virtually complete lack of "bad debt" or "failed loans" they were ZERO. and the "micro banks" were utilizing MILLIONS of dollars on these little loans. And they were all being repaid!!!
I said what the hell and after perusing all the candidates I decided I'd skip a few beers this week and spring for $25. (Make someone around the world an early Christmas present or some such.) I selected this woman who was standing in this scrawny looking "field" of her families "farm" and wanted $1200 for fertilizer, pest control , fungicides etc. so she could plant and grow Yams to sell from her land.
You get an account, and your "investment" shows up on your account, with the picture, you get periodic updates, and the repayments are posted to your account and you can see all the other "investors" that with you, are making this possible. As you get re-paid your "cash" grows in your account and you can either take it out and it cost you nothing, or "re-invest" in other ideas and entrepreneurs around the world.
It fasinates me that my little "beer money" is capable of helping someone stand on thier own two feet and be proud to be able to support thier own family, not by "gifts" but in the basic business method of banking.
I would urge everyone to check out this web sight, make your own decisions, but I know I really feel like I am making a difference in someone's life, somewhere on this planet, and yes, that another human being now has more dignity and character,...and I helped them get it!
www.kiva.org

-30- Stay tuned for Chapter 3 of the weekend blog "where did I come from?"

Ok,....I'm in a writin' mood! Hence "Chapter 1 of the weekend blog"

2007-12-08T10:27:00.000-06:00

As promised a few goodies for all of you today.
Thanks for the prayers for my sister, she came through ok. They did two more stents for a total of three, did the old "roto-rooter" for a boatload of calcium buildup, and they are sending her home today. Again many thanks.

On to fun and games. First of all last time I did the 1967 (year I got married) events and intersting trivia for you, so let's jump ahead a scant ten years to 1977 and see how badly the world went to hell in a decade!
January 1977 - Apple computer incorporates
May - the first "quadraphonic concet" is performed in London by Pink Floyd
October - three members of the Southern Rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd ("Sweet Home
Alabama" a virtual Anthem round here) die in a tragic charter plane
crash
November - The first flight of the Concorde (London to New York)
Television first appears in South Africa
The Vatican bars women from joining the priesthood
West German Police engage in protracted battles with the Baader-
Meinhof gang, and the Red army faction
The worlds first MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) is tested in
New York
The Nobel Peace prize winner was Amnesty International
Elvis Presley, Charlie chaplin, and Bing Crosby all passed away
in 1977
Costs of things
A new house = $49,319.00
Average U.S. Income = $15,070.00
Tuition to Harvard = $4,100.00
Gasoline a gallon = $0.65
Fresh baked bread a loaf = $0.36

Notable births
Liv Tyler, Sarah Michelle Gellar(Buffy the Vampire killer), and my
youngest son,...Jay the missing (long story for another time)
Tunes we love still
Hotel California - The Eagles
Best of my Love - the Emotions
How deep is your Love - The Bee Gee's
Movies from "the old days of '77"
Star Wars (the one that started them all)
Close encounters of the third kind
Saturday Night Fever - bet Travolta can't dance that way now!
Smokey and the Bandit - Coors finally made it east!
The spy who loved me - go 007!!

Aaaah! Ain't life great back then? It was a wonderful time to liv through , even though we were all just trying to survive and begining to recover from Viet Nam.
I could ask a dumb question like "Where were you in '77?" but I''m sure most of my readers just flat were not anywhere YET. The miracle of conception and birth had not begun. But next time you hear "Hotel California" you can say I know someone who was there then!
Back in a minute with Chapter two of the weekend blog!
-30-

Oh yeah,

2007-12-07T08:00:00.000-06:00

If you get a chance a couple little prayers for my little sister who is getting two more "stents" put in her heart today. Should be no problem,.....BUT, I'll take all the help I can get!
Tom
-30-

Ok,...so I lied!

2007-12-07T07:35:00.000-06:00

I said I'd write this past weekend,...but I didn't. 40 lashes with a wet noodle!! (Or going to Burger King and knowing the only way I'm going to get it "your way" is jump the counter and do it myself!)
But it's Friday morning! EIGHT hours to freedom!! It's not that I don't like what I do it's just the fact that as a damn "portfolio manager" I have too many things to do! I could literally work 18 hours a day and get further behind every day. And NO it's not becasue I'm an old fart losing grey cells, but the entire work attitude of the younger generation is infiltrating the world. (Feel a good rant coming on? You're right, but if I start it this morning, well, ..I'll just say "screw it" and stay home and write all day, which...will cause me to fall even further behind!! (sigh)
So off to work I go, but I will return this weekend,....promise. I've discovered a number of absolutely FANTASTIC new things on the 'web". Ok I'll give you a little sneak peek or two before I come back.......................
1. Point your cursor to the little line at the top and type,.."www.kiva.org" This is something I did get involved in this week because it beats the hell out of the old write a check for charity thing. "Give a man a fish he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime" The investment is about my average bar bill a night (with tip) but if it lets someone be thier own master in any way I'm in!
2. Again point your little cursor to "www.genetree.com" a fascinting concept an reminder of the fact that good old druggie Rodney King actually had a good thought, just didn't extend it far enough,..."Can't we all get along (extended version) cause way back when we all came from Adam and Eve" Wonder which roads my genes came down?
More later fans, plus the continuing saga of Mr. Guinness sueing the Health Insurance Company. (You'll love this shit, and I do mean shit!) If you read a previous blog or so back about my attempts at getting health insurance wait until you read chapter 2. Not only do I have a "bad heart", COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease), a "leper like" disease, but ED (Erectile disfunction)! I sure as hell wish my Doctor knew about that, then he could tell me about it, particularly the ED part then I could just relax and give up sex! Oh how wise the Underwriting department of Blue Cross Blue Shield must be to know all this stuff!
And other "slices of life" from the week gone by! Get a BIG mug of coffee, I may have to do multiple blogs on the same day, just so we all get a "potty break"
-30-

this week "the 70's"

2007-11-30T20:53:00.000-06:00

read again on Sunday,...I'm taking on the 70's,...1970 and 1977 to be exact. Both the birth years of two of my children. (1968 was the 3rd one.)
In the mean time Q: Name one of the "top ten" songs for the year 1977.

Clue: "Soar like an......."

closest to the right answer get's a personal e-mail from Mr. Guinness. (Savor them kid's,...it'll be a collectors item in ten years. :)

-30-

"It's OOOOOOOOOver,...It's OOOOOOver."

2007-11-25T12:53:00.000-06:00

...and thus sang Roy Orbison back in the sixties. Yup It's over. Here I am on a Sunday afternoon at 1 pm. getting ready to have a bite to eat, head for the Pub and watch some football, and otherwiseget ready for going back to work tomorrow, (sigh!).
Well it was a four day weekend with Thanksgivig and all, but it also means I go into stress mode because Christmas is only 30 days away. But I got plenty of reast, I'm going back to work with just about 90% of the stuff I brought home from work completed, (five hours this morning and I whacked it all out! Wasn't as bad as I thought.)
Getting down to the "nubbins" (old slang term for the stub of a pencil back in grammar school when you had run it through the pencil sharpener such that there was not even a millimeter to hold onto and sharpen it again. Another "old fart history lesson for all you boys and girls out there.)
The other day, well if the truth be known probably about four months ago, the wife and I went out to breakfast at a place called Cracker Barrel. (National chain, big tacky little gift shop where you are forced to wait twenty minutes until your table is ready and you always find a "gotta havit",....well anyway I picked up a few of those "remember when?" sort of greeting cards that were particular to the year on the cover. I bought one for each of my kids, (children, not goats!) and the year they were born. When we got home they got laid on the dining room table, buried under incoming mail for a month or two, moved to the fourth stair (Which is my wife's signal to "get it the hell out of here or I'll dump it in the trash" for everything that reaches critical mass on the dining room table and nothing more can be piled on top lest the entire thing just start cascading crap on the floor. (It's not a pretty picture, but being a guy, who cares? I know where every single thing we've gotten in the mail for the past three months is,...exactly,...well within a couple of feet of table top anyway.
I was going to send them out to the kids with a few "pithy" comments from the "Father Unit', aand then I got to reading them. Talk about something to make you feel older than dirt!! Try a few of these things;
1. The Boeing 737 makes it's first flight. (Shit that means they are some planes out there, I'm putting my body into that are older than my kids, almost 40 years old, crap, how can anything over forty years old still work?)
2. The Monkeys perform at Forest Hills, NY BUT Jimi Hendricks is thier opening act!
3. The Beatles turn down a $1,000,000 conttract offer for a concet in New York City
4. The Arab Isreali "Six day War" is waged. (I thought it was still going on, just a bigger field of battle
5. Che Guevara is captured and killed by the Bolivians
6. The FIRST heart transplants are attempted in South Africa and New York; the patients survived for 18 days and 2 hours respectively. (And today it's like getting an oil and lube for your car almost, plus they've invented an "artificial heart!).
7. Amana introduces the FIRST Microwave oven for consumers. (Shit that's scary. What the hell did you do before throw the food on a fire like and then when it smoked take it off?)
8. The average Life expectancy was 70.2 years
9. There was no Nobel peace prize awarded. (Schocked, why? Vietnam was in full tilt, the Arabs and Isrealies were kicking the shit out of each other, and who knows how many little skirmishes were going on!)
10. and some other interesting tidbits.
New house cost $14,425
Average Income was $7,305 per year (sounds like my bar bill this year!)
New car was $2,724 (I almost bought a brand new Volvo in '67 but
thought $2700 was too high!!
Average Movie ticket $1.25
Gasoline was $0.33 a gallon (We should have just taken out the middle
east then and the gas and oil "crisis" would be over by now!)
Eggs were $0.38 a dozen, Fresh baked Bread was $0.22 a loaf
Julia Roberts AND Pamela Anderson were both born as was "Normie" from
Cheers, John Ratzenberger!
The MOvies that were hits were;
Bonnie & Clyde, Cool Hand Luke, The Graduate
The hit "tunes" were
"All you need is love" - The Beatles, "Light my
Fire" - Jim Morrison and the Doors, "Penny Lane"- The
Beatles, and a Cyborg(used to be all human, now
mostly mechanical) group called "The Rolling Stones
with Mick Jaggar and "Ruby Tuesday"

I'd go on, but I can't stand the "squeaking" of my joints and bones nor do these brain cells think they can continue without a trip to the Pub for my elixir of Guinness to be able to wake up again tomorrow.
Think about what has come into this world since 1967. And then realize that I your favorite blogger was standing at the Alter getting married June 10th of that year, during the "Six day War" and hoping I was not called back before the honeymoon, as I was a Gob, a sailor, a swabby, and guess what? Still got the same wife! Now that's scary when you realize the Boeing 737 you fly is as old as your wife!! (Damn, guess I better get new sneakers, cause if the plane has the same aches and pains she says she does,....welll you do the math, and figure the odds.
-30-

Rage is a powerful pile of shit!!

2007-11-18T09:38:00.000-06:00

Dumb title, but you're reading on aren't you? Ok so what's it about? Like the theme song from the old Gilligan's Island said, "Sit right back and I'll tell a tale, a tale of a mighty,..." (whatever the hell it was!)

Sitting back, got your coffee, Guinness, bottled water, or other baverage of choice? Buckle up kids, here we go!

It's Sunday morning, I just got home from church, poured a cup of coffee and decided to give Blue Cross/Blue Sheild, the health care provider I applied to for insurance back in September a call and see what was up, since all I have now is a 30 day, renewable policy month to month until they "decided" whether to issue my wife and I a plan. "They're not open on Sunday." says the wife, but good old me says, "people get sick on weekend too, someone's got to be there!" so I call. After the obligatory "push 1 for english", press 48 for human beings", press 37 for human beings with a brain", and finally after 27 of those buttin pushing exercises the final one, "press zero for an operator". (Shit I could have done that on button number one if I knew that's where we are going with this!)
"Hello, this is Tamara, may I help you?"
"Yes Tamara, thank you for answering so quickly, this is Mr. Guinness and I would like to check on my application for the health insurance plan I applied for for myself and my wife. Can you help me with that?"
"Certainly sir, when did you apply ffor it?"
"September 24th"
"And the last four digits of your social security number?"
"1234"
"...and your zip code?"
"..32459."
"and your full street address?"
" 3245 Happy Camper Lane."
"...and lastly your date of birth?"
"...February 22, 1945."
"One moment sir I'm pulling that information up on my screen"
"No problem Tamara."
"Ok sir I have it up on my screen now."
"...And?"
"You and your wife have been permanently declined."
"That sounds a little onerous Tamara,...what does "permanently declined" mean?
"Well, it means we aren't going to provide you with the health insurance permanently, for any reason, at any time in the future."
"Ok,...but why are we being "permanently declined?"
"Based on your Doctors medical records."
"Wait a minute he told me I'm fine, and has been every year for the past six or so. He asks me to quit this, change that, lose a few pounds, but other than that that's it. What is so bad about that?
"Well sir in October of '05 he said you had "impaired fasting glucose", that right there is a permanent decline by our rules. And at the same time he said you had an "abnormal echo cardiogram", and then in February of '06 he indicated in the records that you had evidence of Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease."
"He never told me any of that shit!"
"Sorry sir, that's what's in the records."
"Ok, so what about my wife, can we at least get her on an individual plan?"
"No sir, she's under a permanent decline classification as well."
"For what?"
"Well in April of '04 she was diagnosed with "Rheumatoid Arthritis in both hands", that's a permanent decline all by itself, but in September of '06 she also had an "Abnormal Echo Cardiogram", and then in April of this year her "lipids were inconsistent with her height and weight", all of those are permanent decline criteria."
"Wonderful, so what are my options here?"
"None sir."
"What do you mean none, that's sort of final, end of the road, "tout finis"."
"Yes sir that's correct."
"So you mean we can't get health insurance,...period!"
"Yes sir."
"But the Doctor never, ever, told me any of that stuff."
"Sorry sir, is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Yeah,...what do I do now, there is only six days left on the temporary policy you guys offered me while you went through the application process."
"Your only option is to get on a group plan with your company sir."
"Thank you Tamara, you've been nice, helpful, but the answers were all wrong."
"Sorry sir, have a nice day. Goodbye."
"yeah, you too."

The phone is hung up, my mind is swirling, and "rage" is bubbling up,...big time!
If I can't get health insurance I'm screwed. Not only will a simple Doctor's visit wipe out a week's pay, but then how do you pay your bills, the spiral gets deeper, darker, and scarier after that. The options narrow until you have to wind up handing out carriages at Walmart and saying "Welcome to Walmart" just to get health insurance,....now that is scarrier than shit,...BIG TIME!"

So I guess I've got a "quest" for the week. Now where the hell did my old side-kick, Pancho go? I hate fighting windmills without him.

Oh, by the way tell me this isn't forcing a "socialized medicine" structure down our throats? Only healthy people get health insurance, and then I'll bet the bastards disqualify you on stuff that showed up twenty years ago.
I told my wife, I think it's pure horse shit. I think the folks in the Doc's office who put the little "codes" on the bill they send to the Insurance company manipulate the shit out of things to get the higher of the "fees allowed". While the Doctor tells me the echo-cariogram was simply a "test" to "give us a baseline for the future, if you ever do have a problem", and the "evidence of COPD (that's the folks you see carrying the little green oxygen tanks and tubes runninng from them up thier nose at the mall)covers his ass if I get lung cancer from smoking, which I stopped a few years ago when he suggested it. So far as "impaired fasting glucose" you can bet your sweet ass that I'm the first call of the day tomorrow and the opening lines are going to go like this:
"Dr. P***** Office, may we help you?"
"Yes please I really need to talk to the Doctor, it's a mattter of life and death!"
"What is the nature of this call?"
"Apparently my fasting glucose is totally shit-faced, my heart is bopping along in time with a Grateful Dead tune, and since I have Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease I'm not breathing. Don't put me on hold because from the scary sounds of all that shit, the Insurance company telling me I'm "permanently declined", There is probably a very good possibility I may become irrational, psychotic, and may even have to be put into a prison for grevious bodily harm to other human beings in order to get health insurance, ...or I'm just going to sit in your waiting room until I die. Just tell the Doc, we gotta talk! This is pure bullshit! If I'm in this bad a shape why don't I get follow up tests, appointments, second visits to moniter this shit? Why is it every year I get a "well you're fine, a few minor adjustments to eating habits, maybe try some exercise, and we'll see you at your next annual physical"
Someone is shoveling vast quantities of animal waste, and I just want to be able to put someof it where "the sun don't shine".
You are fuckin' with me , and I take a dim view of that!
-30-

Bit of bad news.

2007-11-14T07:04:00.000-06:00

My little sister, (two years younger than me) had a mild heart attack at work yesterrday. Fortunately she works as an X-ray tech at a pretty big hospital. Woke up with a pain in the arm, thought she slept on it, went to work anyway, had a co-worker take her Blood Pressure, called a cardiologist upstairs, he told her come on up,...poof off to the Emergency Room, one full stint, heavy blockage in another artery but tratable with medication, and she's resting comfortably. More info as I get it, but if you've a second today or tomorrow a little prayer in her direction would be greatly appreciated. Her name is Judy. Thanks

It set me to thinking. Judy was always the "worry wort" in the family. We all have a tendancy toward it, but she had it the worst. She took everything seriously, 24/7. At one point I did as well, but sometime back when I adopted the attitude that most of the world is completely out of my span of control, number one, and the only thing I can really control is myself, number two.

I saw a funny quote this morning as I was "surfin", it was a tag line on someones e-mail it said "Don't be so serious,...no one gets out of this life alive!!" Guess that's a bit prophetic today.

I learned a lonf time ago that a couple of pints at the end of the day, on neutral territory, like a Pub, with "bar buddies" as my wife calls them, and you know what,...I really let my worries go away!
I suppose the real "religious" say that contemplating the "Prayer of St. Francis", you know the "Lord help me to change the things I can, bear the things I can't and grant me the wisdom to know the difference" would do the same thing. But that's a "private thing" Having a few pints is a public clearing of the mind, and can act as a "support system" for those aroiund you having a pint themselves. Like the tag line I quoted earlier, "none of us are getting out alive,...so get used to it and make the best of things!

Besides that I really don't know how I'd react in a hospital. When someone came over and said something stupid to me like, "Don't worry, just lie back and get plenty of rest." Shit, that would scare the shit out of me! Like I don't really want to be here, the surroundings are strange and alien, the food sucks, and for the most part it's just me, this dumb "bent bed", folks "schuttling by" going about whatever it is they are doing that's beyond my regular world,....and you are telling ME to lie back and get some rest? Get serious!
I guess that means I'll be a bad patient, huh? And will my "real friends" bring me a couple of pints? Or cards and flowers (I DO NOT WANT THEM!!) Just a few pints of Draught Guinness for later when I'm watching "stupid" TV the likes of Oprah, etc.

Well, I'm due at work in 30 minutes so I guess I'll sign off for now and move my butt into worker drone mode.
-30-

"In God we still trust"

2007-11-12T20:16:00.001-06:00

Ok so I'm an idiot idealist. But that's what makes our country great, and when that's gone,...well what's left?
Now I plead guilty to owning a Country Western Bar & Dance Club, I even plead guilty to "walkin' the walk' 'n talking the talk" but in all truth there is a reeality, and a foundation to what made America great,...back then!
As a lot of you already know from reading my previous blogs, I am a Veteran of the united State Navy for almost five years, during the "cold war", both of my sons served thier country in the U.S. Air Force, and at the very worst, trust me, I am a patriot. I will defend your right to say what you want, regardless of my opinion, I will preservre that, right or "whacko" to uphold your rights to express it, regardless of the "leniency" of the courts and the liberals that infiltrate our country. But what of the reality of life?
We are a "Christian country". Does that mean we are elitists? NO! Does that mean we "under-value" your personal religious beliefs to ours? NO! Does that mean we would "blame" you for your fellow religious "zealots", any more than we would our own "right wing zealots"? NO!!
Give me a break here!!! If you want to strap 50 lbs of explosive to your body and "push the button",...well,...tough shit Charley,...you're dead, you took 20 or 30 wit you, but you know what? WE ARE GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE,....BELIEVE IT!!! NOt because we are self-rightous, not because we "hate " muslims, but simply because you fuckers are NUTS!!!!
Killing innoent people is dumb in any language! So like my old grammar school techer used to say , "get along,...there is no one else coming to play!"
Sorry , another damn rant!!

Maybe the older you get the more "self-rightoeus" you get! But shit!!!!!,...What is the F***in' problem? We are all born, we all expect to live, and we all expect to form our own conclusions as to whether there is a God,...or not, As to whether violence and mayhem is "acceptable" in terms of human suffering, and whether "WHACKO'S" should simply be "offed".

Sorry frinds, I get a lttle "un-glued" when "whacko's" have a higher level of "rights" than those no longer with us, because it "furthered "he cause".

Am I a bigit,...I guess so, I love my country, spent four and a half years of my life defendng it, and sure as hell will burn any liberal spouting the "can't we all get along" philosophy.

As a Veteran of the United States Navy I have the right to claim my solidarity to having protected your rights. Are you so willing to give them away? The my sacrifice for you was a waste!!

Thank you for your support!!

Tom Corcoran, U.S.N. (United States Navy)

"I covered your ass and yet you would give it away like a cheap hooker? We need to talk. Write me if you dare!

Crunch time is over,...YEA!!

2007-11-12T06:23:00.000-06:00

In my business the Annual Meetings are all in October and Novemeber. That's when everything for the entire year gets crushed into a two or three hour annual meeting, which takes literally a month or so to put together,...each. Multiply that by eight or none and ,...well,..I survived, again.
So let's see, other than work, what's been going on? Ok, first a rant on the American "conundrum",..health Insurance.
I know I've ranted before, but bear with me here. I am beginning to wonder what part about common sense I am missing?
Usually you get what we call "Group" insurance, from your employer, and "in the old days" if you left that employer you still had coverage until the end of that particular month. Then you either got another job, a new group health insurance plan, or you just muddled through and handled things "out of pocket" until you did get a new job. Very few folks had "thier own" health insurance plan then.
Then , God love the government, they stepped in and screwed it up to "assist us", and "protect us". They initiated an animal so aptly nicknamed "COBRA" as part of thier "help". So after the end of the month, if you didn't have another job yet, you could opt to continue your old health insurance at the cost you're company paid for up to 18 months. (Ok, let me see, just lost my job, no income coming in, ...so tell me where I am supposed to get the "cost you're company paid"? Oh sure I could tap my savings, the mythical thing most Americans have little or none of,...and if I did that who would pay the mortgage payment on the house at the end of the month? Oh yeah, and that funny little habit the kids have of wanting to eat three meals a day,...forgot that one. Moral to the story don't quit or get fired unless you have another job "in the bag".
As soon as the insurance companies saw the government "help us out" they immediately jumped on the "more for me" bandwagon and started raising prices and other "nasties" (co-pays go up, negociated COBRA pricing, i.e. first two months at the employers rate then a 200% increase to be sure they "dump" any potential for having to payout anything.
Being a "thinker" whenever I hit a "dilemma" I research, investigate, and sort of "get my head around" the entire situation. Besides headaches, this also leads to seeing exactly how much we are getting screwed!
Recently I was terminated from a job (anacronym for "Just Over Broke") the COBRA bill came and it was $750 a month, good news you have 90 days to decide to pay it, no medical coverage if you don't but you can go back and file claims during that period later after you've paid for it. So I opt to wait and see, second months bill comes in, now another $750 is added, so now I have to pony up $1500 to be covered for the past 60 days, so I opt to wait til the end, the 90 days and see. I've got a couple job offers working, I'm just not sure which one I want to accept. So I wait. Third month comes and the bill for the third month is $1369! So I call to see if there is a mistake, nope,.. "it was a negociated increase with the employer"!! Where the hell do you come up with that kind of money a month if you are a working class stiff? If you divide that $1,370 by $5 an hour you have to work 274 at $5 an hour to cover it. Or let's say you make a whooping $10 per hour at your job, you have to deduct the first $1,370 to pay for your health care! So if my math still works, you GROSS $400 a week, take out 20%, or $80 in taxes, no you have $320 left, go ahead and pay a quarter of your health insurance, let's see, $1370 divided by 4 equals, let's see, $342.50, so if I'm correct you are already in the hole by $22.50 for the week and dead broke!!
That sucks!!
But what can the common man do? Not a damn thing, just keep saying "yes suh Masta'" and keep your mouth shut. Exploitation is so much fun!
I tried to get a private health plan, we're going on month four now. I was "allowed" a temporary 30 day plan" for $276, but only for three monthes. There are now only 13 days left on that, and the carrier Blue Cross, Blue Sheild, has still not made up thier mind in "underwriting" as to whether I will be able to get insured with them!
Oh yeah, got to remember these things are "opportunites", not "problems" they should not interfere with my performance of my job at all. "My mind is clear and focused boss", "I'm all over the job like white on rice". "No worries here boss already told the wife and kids a one meal a day diet would be good for all of us, and hell the exercise of running to work every day, all twelve miles, well that should help me live longer and work even harder".
Damn ain't life great!

-30-

It's Saturday, I'm sick,and theres a lot happening!

2007-11-03T10:37:00.000-05:00

It's Saturday. How do I know that, you ask. Because I'm home not at work and I slept until 10am!!(It's been at least 50 years since I did that,seriously!) I'm sick. With what? "Creeping Crud or something. My head is completely stuffed up, I'm coughing like a five pack a day smoker, a smile or a kind word in my direction is met with a gurgling snarl and stuffy growl with the word "Shit!" But other than that life is ok.
It's got to be stress, one more Annual Meeting to conduct next Saturday and that's it until the end of January, just normal "day to day" shit to deal with. These "Annual Meetings" are an immense pain. By state law they must be done according to a specific ritual, starting 60 days before the meeting, mailing out specific documents to every owner, soliciting candidates to run for open seats on the Board of Directors, submitting "candidacy sheets" (brief one page bio's) I had one noted Surgeon who submitted his "Curriculum Vitae", all 27 pages of it! He may be well educated and well credentialed, but when the hell did he ever find time to even see a patient,...let alone operate on them!
Then 45 days before the meeting the nominations for candidates closes and ballots and candidacy sheets must be mailed to every owner, along with this animal called a "proxy" by which they can designate someone else to vote for them, or vote on a specific non-critical generality themselves. "Should the Association take any excess income over the expenses for last year and apply it against this years monthly fees?" Like "DUH!" Oh yeah, none of these meetings can even occur if thee is not a "quorum" of owners, and a "proxy" counts as an owner voting toward that. Now a quorum can be just about anything. I've seen some that are "50% plus 1" some 15%, some 30%, they are all over the place. So these "proxies" and candidacy sheets and ballots start flowing back at you by snail mail from the day you send them out. But guess what? For the most part , unless there is going to be a HUGE special assessment levied on each owner for something, no one gives a shit about any of it. BUT the State says you have to have a meeting. So from that point until the day of the meeting you are combing the mail every day for executed proxies, mailing out additional letters with proxies encouraging the owners to at least sign the damn thing and send it back, and otherwise seeing how high you can raise your blood pressure without that vein in your neck "popping" and ruining a perfectly good shirt!
Oh then there is the "Noticeing" phase. You have to post notices in conspicuous places on the property at 60, 30 and 14 days before the meeting. (Oh yeaah one more pain in the ass thing to remember!)
And on top of all that "someone" has to develop a budget for next year. Now I have some associations who spend monthes agonizing over it, meeting after meeting, analysis afteer analysis, tons of "what if" scenarioing, and the rest of the machinations. I love breaking thier bubble a week before the meeting and tewlling them it's time, I have to publish it, no more playing, put down your pencils and close your spreadsheet programs. Then I have the complete opposite, the Associations that simply look at you and say, "...ah, just go ahead and make one up for us, it's fine with us what ever you come up with."
About two weeks before the meeting you are frantically counting proxies to be sure you have a quorum, (no quorum, no meeting! State Statute, and God help your skinny butt if that happens cause we got to go through this whole exercise again, and again, until we get a quorum, and have the damn meeting! It always comes down to the last day in most cases, and then the "how many folks are actually coming to this meeting?" Well I did one a week ago and out of 120 owner/members, the entire head count at the meeting was ten! And to make matters worse only 27 people sent back proxies! By ONE, count it 1, proxiy I made the 30% requirement and we had the meeting. The day beofre I had another meeting and there were only two people who attended, besides half the Board of Directors, but we had enough proxies and agfain just "snuck it out".
There are only two questions anyone really wants an answer to, "Are our monthly fees going up next year and by how much?" and "Are our monthly fees going down next year, and by how much?" It cracks me up because the total apathy is astounding. And I'm talking properties that are for the most part "vacation" homes or "second" homes that are worth $2,000,000 to $5,000,000.
One more week and I can kick back and go back to the 1. "Why did't the landscapers trim my Azeala bush correctly?" and of course THE single most common comment, 2. "Can't these people understand English?" (Answers: #1 "So which horticultural school dod you go to and if you don't like it why don't you do it yourself!", and #2 "No none of them either speak, nor understand English because they are all illegal immigrants doing jobs that no American would be caught dead doing for less than five times what we pay them,....but they smile and nod very well and are very polite answering "Si, Si Senor" to every question or thing you say to them."
Don't get me wrong I love the job, but some major streamlineing has got to happen. This is 2007, not 1907. We have computers, high speed internet access, give me a break!! (I hate it when I have to consider running for Office in order to facilitate change. I have no patience for "concensus". In fact I've decided that "concensus" is the "smoking gun" that has killed leadership in this world.
(Oh, Oh, I feel a small rant coming!) Do I really care if Brittany is a "bad mom"? Do I want to "help her with parenting classes",...hell no. Just take away her kids, give them to some folks who would really love them, and fine the bitch $259,000,000 Million dollars. Treat her the way she would and has treated her kids,...as throw-a-ways.
Well better sign off for today, more tomorrow when (hopefully) I feel better.
Oh Yeah, number two son from Utah called and the Wife and I are going to be grandparents again for the second time. (All I could think of is that our other grandchild, a girl, will be 30 when this new one is 14. See,.." gaps in the synapses", why does the mind think wierd thought like that.
-30-

The first leg of "The Triumphant Triangle" is complete!

2007-11-02T08:20:00.000-05:00

Yes, that's right. "The Triumphant Triangle" is a pseudo-mythical, pseudo-egotistical, otherwise crazy concept that if it happens maybe I can make a million on tee shirts, hats and banners. (Still working on the logo/image, all help accepted and graciously cut in for a piece of the action if the powers trianglate properly.)
So what is "The Triumphant Triangle"? It is a convergence of Sports "Championships" in one single point on the big blue marble,.....BOSTON, Massachusetts, USA.
First leg complete, The Boston Red Sox won the World Series (still an oxymoron so far as I can tell because the "world" extends beyond the United States,...oh well we'll take it.)
Second will be the Boston (oops! "New England") Patriots taking the "Super Bowl" in February, and finally either Boston College becoming the NCAA Football champion at the Rose Bowl, OR the Boston Celtics becoming the Wrold's Champion Basketball Champions.
(ok, so I may be delusional, but you gotta believe.
AND congrats to Joe Torre for landing in LA, go show Georgie boy how badly he screwed up!!
-30-

"Oh Lucy.....I'm home!"

2007-10-24T21:15:00.000-05:00

Just a little teaser for this blog! Sorry gang, it's that time of year. Every Homeowners Association and Condominium in the workld wants their annual meeting in October and November! Why? Becasue that's about the only time no one is renting the units. So what you ask? Well one of my clients rents his little place (Sleeps 8, three baths, directly on the Gulf of Mexico) for $6,000 a week!! would you give up six grand a week?
Anyway, this blogs going to be a little dis-jointed because as a Bostonian life could not get too much better!!
The Red Sox (baseball for you Aussies) are playing the first of seven series of the World Series as I write this. (It only matters after nine innings so I'm taking time to write for you instead of watching innings 1 thru 8!! Is that dedication or what?) The New England Patriots are a sure thing for the Superbowl! (American football epitome of excellance!), and Boston College is ranked #2 in the Country in College Football and playing Virginia Tech tomorrow night at the same time the Red Sox are playing game two!!!( Send an emergency channel changer, it's going to be "switch city" from 7pm until midnight at my house!!!)
And I'M NOT A JOCK!!! A fan yes, but a jock no!
I'm sure my best buddy Mikie, who passed away last year, is conning God to make this a whole year for Boston so more of us can join him from the sheer "over the top" of all these Boston teams winning everything in 2007-08! Thank you Mikie,...we know it's you making it happen!
Well, got to get back to the game.
see ya'
-30-

Attention, stalkers!

2007-10-17T21:21:00.000-05:00

Recently I've been writing and NO ONE, has even left me a note or a comment! Let me explain the process. At the end of each entry which, I sweat, labor, agonize and other wise "slave over" composing, there is a "thingy" that says comments. If you put your cursor on it and "click" you will find a box that invites you to leave a comment. DO IT!!
They say blogs are like "private diaries", but that's bullshit. I write, just to share my life with you. With no comments the implied is "why the hell write any more?)
Sorry , just a quick rant!
We had a "memorial service" for my good buddy "Mikie" tonoght at The Whales Tale" , perhaps about ten or twelve of us. A shot of Sambuca, a toast, and a time to remember,....we loved you Mikie,...and damn it we miss the hell out of you!
-30-

The old man and the iPod!

2007-10-13T11:35:00.000-05:00

No it's a take off on Hemingway's "The old man and the sea". Naw no, but a damn catchy title for a blog today.
My wife has decided not to "lovingly bitch" about my drinking,eating fried foods,avoiding "veggies" at all costs, and not exercising at all, nevermind regularly, and my rock solid belief that there are vitamins and minerals, and healthy non-perscription herbs and that for everything that ails you, or threatens too. Yup,..she's come to the conclusion that my shameful personal quest to wear my body out like a car that never gets a tune up or an oil change is definately going to make her survive me, (then she can sell all my toys, buy treadmills and exercycles, and live on.)
But anyhow to thank her for her decision I decided to get her a treat. She does a lot of walking and bicycling for exercise and has appropriated the MP3 (What the hell does "MP3" mean anyhow?)she bought me last Christmas. But recently it's been getting the better of her. That's why I didn't mind her taking it. It had directions for use that would definately break your back to lift!
So being the great husband and good dubbie that I am I decided to see if I could get her an iPod off of e-bay. "They got a million of 'em!" So it's back to the drawing board and see which one is best and what they do. After an exhausting bunch of research I determined that any of them would suit our purposes so I began shopping price and condition.
Long story short I bid and won a "refurbished" i-Pod 4gig Nano,...white. Being a real sport I also got her a "docking unit" with a recharger built in as well. (Nothings to good for my woman!) Well it showed up a few days later and it was smaller than I thought, and as I read the literature and looked at the lack of buttons and all the "touch sensitive" controls I was impressed. So last Saturday I set about putting it all together for her and downloading some of the chior music she's learning for this Christmas (God is it that close to Christmas already?). Being the non-techno, 63 year old klutz that I am, with the patience of one of Michael Vicks more agressive pit bulls, I set aside four hours to figure it out.
Guess what? 30 minutes later it was up, working like a charm and so easy to learn, operate, load and arrange stuff I really WAS impressed. Gave it to the wife, and she's been happy as a clam with it since.
She gave me back my old MP3 player, I made an attempt to make it work, then made an impulsive decision. (It's the only kind I ever make,...the impulsive kind!) I went back on e-bay, found another one and put a significantly lower bid on it. Within minutes I get the stupid, "You have been out bid!" e-mail, so there are two days left and I set up my tracking reminders, and guess what, the bid does not go any higher. "Ah Ha! It must be the seller jacking the bid up." says I. So I start playiing games with him, you know, bump it the minimum possible, and see if he responds, if he does I take a higher bump, maybe a twenty percent bump. (remember I said I started this thing at a really low bid)and I watch the amount of time before the bump backs and a few other factors. Then I just flat quit bidding! It leaves the seller with the high bid and scratching thier head, "Where'd he go?" Then I lay in ambush for the two minute mark. That's two minutes before the auction ends, I put in a bid to see what he's got for a top limit on his bid, then wait until there are 30 seconds left and then if I really want the item I drop a bid in with ten seconds left with a much higher max bid limit. For example let's say his bid is $30 and by playing with him I learn he covers his bid at about five dollars more, ergo $35 high bid, I'll test him a couple of times and we wind up at $40-$55, then I quit and wait. At the two minute mark the bid has not changed so I pop a bid in for $57.50, get the "outbid" and come back at $61 and am now highbidder. Strategy working, he is on a $5 over max limit so he'll come back at say $65 to keep me interestedand I'll sit and do nothing. At ten seconds left I'll put in a bid for $70.01 with a max bid of $80.01.
With time constraints he has to either gamble on where my "top bid" is, or stick to his original strategy of $5 over to keep me on the hook. By the time he gets the $75 bid into the auction the timer ends and he gets an "out buid and auction over with me winning at $70.01!
Long story short I bought another iPod 4gig Nano for myself. I've been playing with it and loading my classical music and 60's stuff as well as a ton of new age,....and the best thing is that I'm comfortable with it!

The old fart triumphs over technology again!!!!
-30-

Pumpkin time is here!

2007-10-13T10:46:00.000-05:00

I've had the fall blues thus far, so my blog has suffered.
This year particularly with all the drought and heat and humidity was just one shower to the next for some relief,...but the weather is breaking now, the humidity is going away, and the temperature is moderating to a nice chilly 75 degrees in the mornings.
Fall is a time for Pumpkins, Holloween, little rug rats pounding on my doorbell wanting a candy handout, college football, professional football, the world series (GO Red Sox!)and the disappearance of the tourists (thank God! We got your money go the hell home!)but it also has some "down" memories this year as a result of last years "rash" of sudden deaths of a few dear friends about this time.
Yeah, yeah, life goes on, life is for the living, and all those other platitudes of reality. But we really do need to remember,...actually we really don't need to remember so much as we need to never forget those firends, loved ones and family that have passed on.
Now yesterday afternoon about 4:30 I stopped at the Pub for a pint (I know,..who da thunk it?) and ran into a girl I've known for about ten years, she's married, has a couple of kids, one particular daughter (23 years old) who is a "meth head" and is giving her hell, and she's an "Annual" person for a landscape company (that means she has a knack for planting colorful flowers and arrangements for the "big" clients who have the money and just want "some extra color, you know something to 'Pop' out at you.")
But I digress. Lynn and her sidekick, Vicky were just having a cold beer and I joined them as none of out "regular crew" had yet arrived. After a few pleasantries and some idle chit-chat there was a minute of silence and as I turned my head I noticed Lynn was all teary eyed with a couple running down her cheek. I figured (dumb guy thing I know)she was upset about her daughter as she had made a couple of comments about her a little earlier. So I tried to cheer her up a bit and said something like, "She'll grow up soon Lynn, don't take it so hard, she's really not a bad kid." And she teared up alittle more and looked at me and said "I'm not worried about her,...but I just thought about seeing you here sipping your Guinness, but no Mikie beside you. God I miss that guy! he was a real human being."
I had been thinking about Mikie a lot becasue we're coming up on the first anniversary of his death next week, ...and I too miss my buddy.
Later in the early evening as I was sitting at the Pub with a few friends, old and new, it was alomst a collective thought from at least a dozen of us at the same time about my good buddy Mikie's passing a year ago. So we've collectively decided that Wednesday of this week we are all going to meet at "The Whales Tale" beach bar and hoist a shot of Sambuca for Mikie at 5 p.m.,...just to let him know we all still care, and we all still want to remember how much joy, silliness, just "being Mikie" he brought to all of us. For those of you who can't make it,...just pause at 5pm, lift a shot of Sambuca and say "To you Mikie,...we still miss you. Godspeed my friend."
I'm not being "morose", but simply trying to make the point that as we go on with life it is really incumbent on us to remember ALL those who make it possible for us. We remember the soldiers, the teachers, the business friends, the relatives, the ones who are all obvious, but when you are touched by someone who is simply a "friend" , asking nothing, giving everything, and always there for someone else, amidst thier own trails and tribulations,.....well, they deserve a special rememberance.
-30-

Boy am I a lazy bastard about writing!

2007-10-10T20:22:00.000-05:00

I hardly believe this is the 10th of October!!!
It's like I said in a recent blog,...the older you get the faster that God Damn clock spins!! It was like yesterday when I wrote the last blog,but its over two weeks ago!
Please give me tinoght and I'll wrire another thrilling chapter tomorrow, .....I promise!

God! The 25th already?

2007-09-25T14:02:00.000-05:00

Time just has a way of whizzing by. On a number of occasions I've thought about time, in fact I really dwelt on it. Sometimes good,....sometimes not. For example let's look at time BAD. That's kind of like mowing the grass and the mower begins to look like it's maybe six inches wide, and the yard is growing from a 6' by 8' patch to a hundred acres! That's the example where you want time to fly, but alas it's an entirely new career istead.
Now Time GOOD, having a couple of pints, good conversation, laughing, joking, being a real part of "the spirit of life",....and BAM, you glance at your watch and it's already late evening and you wanted to be home early to relax for that big meeting first thing in the morning! That's where the clock is whizzing around like a cartoon and an hour seems like a minute!
Now there is the theory of the "life TIME". It's kind of like the good time,bad time thing as well. The only thing is that as you get older it's going in the right "GOOD TIME" direction, but your inner mind and spririt is screaming, "NO, NO, slow this thing down it's going to be over too fast, I want to enjoy it more!" But as a famous somebody once said I'm sure , "It ain't happenin' Jack!"
Maybe that's why old folks can just sit by the hour, and hour after hour, after hour, and be so amused at "the little things". Or perhaps why the young work so hard at multi-tasking and "crackberry" devices to suck in more in less time, ...becasue it's roaring by, out of control, daevil may care,...and in short, just complete chaos and mayhem.
Perhaps, I shall postulate, there is no "cross-over point", no point in life where you go from the spinning clock to the slow motion clock, or vice versa. Maybe the speed of youth simply is another "proof" of inertia, (A/K/A " a body in motion will tend to stay in motion") and perhaps aging is God's way of proving the other half of that "proof", (a body at rest will tend to stay at rest")
Now yesterday I had to solve our "health Insurance" dilemma. So I just picked up the mouse, googled "private health care plans" and ZAP! a screen asking me to fill in the blancks and get four responses in minutes. (God I love the internet! I've always been one to want to know the "ballpark" I'm playing in, and then I'll sniff out the particulars becasue It's a matter of more than the norm, in price, or less than the norm. So I hit the "enter" key, and bam! sixteen healthcare plans come up with links to the details of each, the prices of each, etc. As God is my judge I was looking over only the fifth one on the page and my phone rang!
"Hi, Mr. C******, this is Ron Zolone from Healthcare is us, I see you're looking for affordable yet good health insurance for you and you're wife. Is that correct?"
(DAMN!!! TALK ABOUT "BIG BROTHER" WATCHING) "ahhh, yeah, how did you know?"
"You're data came up on my screen and I hit the auto-dial and here we are."
"No Shit!!" (It's all I could say I was still in schock at how fast it happened!)
Long story short within ten minutes this guy has a perfect plan cranking for me, right benefits, right deductibles, right everything, from a nationally known company I probably never would have thought of looking up.
"And that includes all the office visits free, right, And the perscription deductible is only $15 for anything, no matter what? And it has a lifetime $5,000,000 limit, right? And it is only half of what I was paying through my employer, right?"
"Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. Are there any other questions?"
" How do I sign up and how long before it's in effect?"
"I'm going to put you on hold then connect you with an Underwriter, they willask you a few questions and in fifteen minutes or so poof, you are insured in full from that moment on."
"What about paying for it. I thought you had to pay for it before you were covered?"
"No problem, I can take a credit card for your first month over the phone, or we can draft the first month premium right out of your checking account tonight and at midnight you're covered"
"No shit! Now I'm impressed! BUT, what if I find out someof this stuff you're saying it has and all is not true, and my claim is denied?"
"I'm giving you my name, my phone number, and a fourteen digit confirmation code, everything we've talked about has been recorded and will remain archived for six months, and at anytime during that period you find anything I said is not true, call the number, read the code number and you get the entire premium back from today until the end of the six months, and we have still paid for everything that happened inbetween! Sound good?"
"Bring on the underwriter!"
And the questions began. It was like having someone read an entire medical journal to you, at high speed,for example, "haveyoueverhadanyform orbrain tumor, diabetes,lackofsairtothe earsortherwise beenhospitalizedonthursdays orfridays? And so it went for about ten minutes. I adopted the "if I've never heard of it I probably ain't ever had it" reply. ("andinthemorningdoesyoureyeturngreenandyellow?" "Nope!") and on it went. Then she says, "ok can I speak with your wife and get her responses?" So I give the phone to the wife and go about my business. About fiveminutes later she comesin and hands me back the phone and says "They rejected us." "What!!" "Yup, they said I was two pounds overweight for the medication I'm taking." "You've got to be shitting me,....two POUNDS overweight, are you sure?
So I call this dude back and say what's up with this two pounds shit?
"Well we are very rigid about who we accept,that's why the mopnthly price is so low."
"Ok let's start again and I'll tell her shave the two pounds off when they ask her next time,..ok?"
"Sorry your phone number is logged as well as your names and dates of birth in our mega data base, it's there forever,...can't help you there, but forabout twice the price I might be able to get you another policy with another vendor,...how 'bout it?"
So Iwas left to my devices,...a story I'll fionish tomorrow, stay tuned!
-30-

So we got there!

2007-09-19T10:50:00.002-05:00

After checking in we decided to do the "look around then eat" thing out at Downtown Disney. It has actually gotten better and I consider it a theme park, maybe it ought be called "Shopping Land" and have little American Express and Visa and Mastercard characters wandering around, like Mickey and Minnie in the other parks.
Now you gotta give old Walt a lot of credit. As a tourist we all know carrying "shit" around all day is not only a pain in the ass, but tends to bog you down, cause disputes "Will you carry this twenty piece dinnerware set for a while, my shoulder is numb.", soooo,....Disney has the answer. A whole bunch of little grmlins who will transport you "stuff" that you purchase, back to your hotel so it's there waiting for you and you can continue to shop til you drop! Like the Guinness commercial exclaims,"...Brilliant!"
Only one "gotta remember to get" on this trip, a white tee shirt with JUST Mickey Mouse on it for my buddy Carl. That should be a piece of cake right? WRONG! They had grey ones, pink ones, blue ones, tiedyed ones, thousand of tees with phrases, logos, themes, and every thing you could imagine. But a plain white tee with just Mickey? None to be had. (For those of you who know me the word "NO" is loosely translated in my mind to "Now you become an obsessive/compulsive in this matter". Well three days later I found a white tee shirt, with a full Mickey (sounds like a "full Monty" doesn't it?) on it, BUT it had a narrow blue band around the collar and the sleeves, but it qualified enough for me to make the purchase and release the first store clerk who said "they don't have any", from captivity tied to a support beam in Thunder Mountain!
My wife wanted to go to "Animal Kingdom", and while completely of the opposite desire, we went. Now I enjoy a zoo as much as anyone (OOOOH! Got a joke! What's the difference between a Zoo in New York City and one in Louisiana? .....give up? Ok, the one in Louisiana has cooking instructions under the metal signs with the latin names of the animals!) Apologies to anyone who was offended, but the ol' Cajun's from Louisiana will cook and eat anything! (A little filo, a little okra, some Tabasco,....damn that's a tasty critter, but watch out for them quills, I think they may be poisonous!)
You gotta be careful in Louisiana as a question like "Which do you prefer Democratic philosophy, or Republican Philosopy? "Shoooot, which one smokes up better?"
Ok, I've recovered and taken several of my politically correct pills.
Back to Disney World. We stayed in the Port Orleans section the last time we went and loved it. The rooms weree good, it was a compact little village of Jackson Square New Orleans type buildings with the wrought iron railings and tiny streets of cobblestones and had several swimming pools, a restaurant, and a little pool bar and was very shady to boot. We found that end of the day a dip in the pool for an hour wasjust what you needed to re-vitalize and get ready for the evening or a good noghts sleep, your choice. One of the really good deals was this coffee mug thing. You buy this plastic insulated covered coffee mug and all refills were free for your entire stay! Now it was $11.99, but at $2 for a cup of coffee, and my usual four a day,...well I beat the system big time.
The other reason we like Port Orleans is because it's got a river running through it, manmade of course, but they have these twenty foot barge type boats that go up and down transporting people between there and the Down Town Disney, or nightlife area. There's nothing like a cool roam down the river with a breeze to relax you for a good evening out. And at the end of the evening the boats will bring you back to within 50 yards of your hotel room. (A much desired outcome if you have a REALLLY GOOD night of fun!)
The other great thing is the kiddies all see to be put away in the evenings. For as many as are around the pools during the day, and in all the theme parks, they are totally absent at night. Maybe Disney gives parents complimentary quaeluddes for the kiddies ater supper! (Ok so the politically correct pills haven't kicked in yet,...sorry :( )
The big "marketing push" this year is the Johnny Depp "Pirates of the Carribean", in Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Animal Kingdom, every cart and display is all "Pirates of the Carribean" stuff. I started thinking about it, and the "Pirates of the Carribean" ride has been at Disney for at least thirty years, in fact we noticed last time we were down in '04, or '05 the lines were down to nothing,....but now? They put a couple of Johnny Depp manniquins selectively around, crank up the music, "....Yo-ho, Yo-ho a Pirates life for me!" and the popularity of the movie overflows to the ride and we're back to 30 minute lines in a "slow" period of the year to wait to ride! Ain't marketing something!
We've already established my "rides policy" in the previous blog, so I won't repeat it, suffice it to say Pirates is a real enjoyable ride. The other ride, which was being re-done and was closed last time we were there,also benefitted greatly from a movie, that was the Eddie Murphy "The Haunted Mansion" ride, also pleasurable and with only 45 minute waiting lines!
Based on those two I am willing to go out on a limb here and forecast several "new" movies from Disney in the next copuple of years based on thirty year old rides dwindling in popularity, ready for "Mr. Guinness's movies of the future picks"?
"The Mystery of Space Mountain", a captivating thriller starring Robin Williams as the leader of a band of mutant humanoids with degree's in Political Science probing the universe in search of jobs, who encounter "The Dark Side" featuring a demented Harry Pottter as a candidate for President of the Galactic Empire Federation. (Really doesn't matter what the story is since Space Mountain is a totally in the dark rollercoaster ride where you can't see anything anyhow, but Political Science Majors can imagine anything, so it will draw, plus we all know there really aren't any jobs for them out there anyway, ergo, we will be keeping an entire segment of the population who squandered thier parents hard earned college tuition savings becoming "Political Science Majors", and avoiding meaningful work in our society, cotained and away from the unemployment dole lines! Hurray!!!
After that will come a re-make of "The Sound of Music" aptly re-named "The Matterhorn Escape" starring Brittany Spears as the former Nun, turned Nanny for nine children of widowed Charlie Sheen's Colonel Von Trapp, a U.N. Atomic Energy Inspector who knows about a plot that The European Union is secretly developing to miniturized Weapons of Mass Destruction in Austria which are all disguised as little Edelweis flowers and distribute them as "Wild Flower Seed Mixtures" through out the world to poison the earth so only Poppies and Marijuana will be capable of surviving in the irradiated soil. (Again another ride in the dark with lots of turns, drops, g-forces, and a whole bunch of "WARNING" posters all over the place,....but we're going after box office revenues with DVD "piggy-back" revenues to stimulate an otherwise "old ride" so Disney woin't have to tear it down.
There's probably a dozen more I could come up with, but (Thank you God?,...who said that?) I'll stop here for today. Now I know how Tolkein got so demented before he wrote The Hobbitt! (Man I guess I bettter go get a real job or there will be a ring at the front door one morning and some men in white uniforms will want me to try on the new jacket with the wrap around sleeves!
More tomorrow, (if I don't have meaningful employment by then!)

-30-

So we got there!

2007-09-19T10:50:00.001-05:00

Back from vacation (When do I get a vacation from vacation?)

2007-09-17T10:54:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm back, six lovely days in Disney World, LOTS, and LOTS of walking! (Thought twice about renting one of those old senior scooter thingies!) Been just relaxing a bit this morning, you know, checking the Credit Card balances, checking the Bank Balances, letting all the good old "real world shit" creep back into my being. Oh and I got a bucket of stories to tell as well.
Last time the wife and I were at Disney ('04 0r '05 me thinks) they were just building the new Irish Pub/Restaurant in the Downtown Disney section. Spent a couple of evenings there (September 14-15th is afterall, mathmatically, half way to St. Paddy's Day you know! Yeah, yeah just another excuse to imbibe seriously and sing silly Pub songs, meet other folks with a touch o' the green in thier blood, and another chance to make sure my wife never forgets I ruined a perfectly pure, 100% Irish, then Irish American blood line, for her love and her hand! (I know, ...what a guy,...thank you, thank you very much. I guess I am a romantic :), or an "you're such an ***hole " as she will remind me, everytime I tell her of this noble sacrifice on my part as my testimony to my devotion to her!
But comedy aside, they do seem have the best food in the Disney area, in my opinion, as the first thing out of everyone's mouth when you say you went there is "Man, wasn't the food absolutely great?". (I suppose you have to put something in between pints o' Guinness while you wait between 1st and 2nd pours!)
Before we begin a few comments. First my unchanging policy on "rides". If it says anything about "motion" or "heart related illnesses", or has a little line on the wall that kiddies must measure up to to be allowed to ride,....well color me "waiting at the other end for you". Nothing could possibly be as "adrenaline pumping" or anywhere near as "fun" as going from a dead stop to 300 miles an hour in a jet fighter off the deck of an Aircraft Carrier almost straight up in the air pulling a bunch of "G's", or riding out a MAJOR storm or two in the North Atlantic in the Spring, or going from the 200 miles an hour, of the airplane on approach to the Aircraft Carrier and then the 200mph to Zero as you hit "the wire" and a full dead stop, or any of my other "fun experiances" in my life,....so why in the hell would I want the opportunity at 62.5 years of age, to relocate my gall bladder to a new area in my left ear, or my spleen to somewhere behind my knee cap, ..and not to mention reducing the size of my breathing capacity from gallons to thimblefulls to make room for the stomach as it compresses everything together! Besides dying for you country is noble, ...dying for Disney World is just plain DUMB! I mean would Mickey or Minnie even come to the funeral, or would I have to subject all my friends to a Goofy eulogy (sorry couln"t resist the pun!)So let's see, where should I begin this imfamous voyage to where "every man has been before"?
We drove six and a half hours to get there from my house, and it was all "super highway", which we all know is boring as hell, but it's a full hour and twelve minutes faster than the "shorter" route, with all the burg's and villages and stop lights and all, not to mention the "Bubba-Bob" Deputies, all trying to get a new car from "the most speeding tickets in a month" County lottery.
Let it never be said I was a "slouch", or "slacker" with regards trying new technology,...witness this little start to our adventure.
Just before I left I got a notice in the mail from my cellular company about a "FREE Trial" on a cellular GPS system for 30 days. What the hell, I'll give it a shot! Ready? Ok I programmed in the Address of the Disney Resort we were going to (Port Orleans in the French Quarter), pulled the car out of the garage the morning we left and stood like an idiot pointing my cell phone (Blackberry) toward the skies like I was making an offering to the Gods of Travel, and allowed it to get a 9 satellite GPS fix on my driveway. After a minute or two the screen lit up and it said "DRIVE TO DESTINATION, PUSH NAVIGATE TO BEGIN."
Cool, I felt like Magellan, and Cortez, and DeGama, and Captain Cook. (Let's face it Columbus, the Pilgrims, and the rest of them really didn't have a clue where they were going, they just wanted out of there (kind of like an office party at Christmas with no alcohol options!). So in we get, to the car, I plugged in my cell phone battery charger to the cigarette lighter and then into the Blackberry (good thinkin', if we were going to leave it on the whole six and a half hours we don't want the battery to croak twenty miles away with no back up!) I found a place of honor for it resting in a coffee cup holder where I could clearly see it, and we were just about ready.
7:08am CST - We're off, "turn left for one tenth of a mile, turn right for less than one tenth of a mile, turn left for less than one tenth of a mile, go one tenth of a mile and turn left onto Sugar Drive, proceed 5/10th's of a mile on Sugar Drive, then turn Right onto U.S.Highway 98 and go 4.3 miles to Route 331 on the left." All that before I even got out of the driveway, but it was correct, so my confidence level increased in this "newfangled" GPS technology.
So I do the lefts and rights and tenths and "less than a tenths" and "poof" we turn onto the highway,.....and the screen goes blank and then it flashes "re-computing route" after about two minutes it comes back on and shows where we are and says "continue on this road until further instructions",....and we did. The next few instructions were also right on and I was feeling pretty comfortable with this thing as we cruised up the road, under the watchful eyes of nine different satellites.
About fifteen minutes later we get to this intersection where the GPS says "take a left turn onto Route 331 North" Ahahhh! Now being the human, and having far more "un-killed" brain synapses than a cell phone, I knew if I turned right onto Rt 20 and then left about seven miles down the road, I could cut off about twelve miles with no traffic, no lights, and no fuss. So I did.
Then the "beast" began to fight with me,..."make a legal U-turn now", which I ignored and kept going. Ten seconds later it reared it's ugly head again, "make a U-turn and proceed west on Rt 331 for 3 miles then turning northward and proceeding until further instructions", again I ignored it, so it sought to play upon human insecurities. The screen went blank and the "re-computing route" and spinning little hourglass showed up. (We'll teach this little electronic beast who the boss is!) After a few minutes, as I was tooling along eastward on Rt 20, the screen lit up again. "GPS signals unreliable at this point". Was that a veiled threat to me,....from a little machine? Was that translating to "Do what I tell you to do dummy or I'll see you get so lost you wouldn't be able to find your own ass with a cattleprod!"
Well little machine buddy, that's your problem, I know where I'm going, so "re-compute" your little electrons off, and flash your "Danger Will Robinson Danger" messages in full technicolor for all I care, but remember you work for me! I pull your battery and you're nothing,....got it?
The machine stopped flashing the "re-computing" shit as well as the "GPS signals unreliable" shit at me, and ten minutes later I arrived at the entrace to the super highway, I-10, on my terms, and my chosen route. As I got about 300 yards from the ramp to turn onto the highway, it mechanically re-acquired it's verbal wisdom, "Turn right in 300 yards, onto Highway 10", then "Exit to the right in 100 yards", and I slide up onto the high way with a smug grin on my face.
(Now notice the "voice" of this thing is feminine, and being a "woman" it had to have the last word. Now, I was willing to let bygones be bygones and just keep trucking along to Orlando, but nooooooo. This little bunch of chips and resistors and shit thinks SHE has to get back into the act,...."continue on this road until further instructions". And onward we went, eastward for about another two hundred mile to see who would ultimately win this battle of wits!
I turned to my wife who had been watching this whole battle of man versus machine, up close and personal, and she just shook her head and said something like, "Are you two done for now?" I grin sheepishly and said, "Hey honey, would you put one of those books on tape on for me?"
More tomorrow.

Oh by the way, I got an e-mail on my Blackberry as we were rolling along that Fred Thompson, my choice for our next President, would be having a "morning coffee session" for 2500 of his closest friend next week, and for only $2300 I could get a cup of coffee, a stone cold Danish, and see the man from a distance and hear him say the same thing I saw him say on his website. Maybe I'll just invite him over the house for coffee next time he's in town,....I know for a fact coffee ain't that expensive!

-30-

A quick, but important alert!!

2007-09-06T15:22:00.000-05:00

I know I said I'd be commenting on Fred Thompsons Presidential run as well "bashing the shit" out of his opponents, (only kidding, but I think if you check out my old to me, new to you blog at "www.commonsensegonzo.blogspot.com" you may enjoy my biting (ok so it's gnawing) political comments, and by all means check www.Fred08.com and see what Fred's thoughts are to Michael Moore!! GO FRED!!
-30-

Fred Thompson,...reality vs. "dynasty"

2007-09-06T08:19:00.000-05:00

Ok, strap in tight, Mr. Guinness has decided to enter the fray for the United States Presidential Elections of 2008. Not as a candidate (for those who know me, my personal level of patience for "superfulous BS" precluded me from that consideration, as a "lifeterm" would be in line, and not in the White House, but the "Big House"!). But I'm thinking that despite being a veteran, giving my four plus years in the service of our country in the "Nam" period, voting in every election I could since I was 18 years old, and meeting a number of "politicians" (anyone have some hand sanitizer?)it was perhaps time to get off my "butt" and see about getting someone into the office of President of the United States who at least had a fighting chance of making some changes for all of us, for the good.
With that in mind I have chosen to take my faithful "constituantcy", the "Pub Times Silent Majority" via this blog, to make a difference in American elections in 2008.
I wasn't sure about Ronald Regan before the election, as he seemed more "smooth talking" than I really liked, and Ross Perot was my man, bigtime, even though it was obvious his personal agenda was the biggest "plank" in his platform for the White House. Now GB #41 I respected, but there was always a nagging doubt about "was he ALWAYS leveling with us?",and GB #43, well, I 'll support him, but we really need someone more "upscale downhome" for the future,..less political good ol' boy. Notice, no democrats thus far? Well that should be obvious, as they need to all go home and take a few "conservative" pills and call back in the morning if they don't start to feel more responsible to our Constitution and Bill of Rights!
So where am I going with this? I'm going to support Fred Thompson from Tennessee for the Presidency of the United States in 2008, and over the months I'll explain the why's and the wherefor's as well as love to hear your comments on it as well. Now Lord knows I haven't got a bunch of $$$ to throw his way, but I don't want to see anyone "BUY" the Presidency of MY country anyway. Sure there's a risk that you might have to be a bit "beholdin'" to big givers, but I think Fred is capable of being a little more "above that" than the rest of them.

First there's Mr. Guinness's "litmus test" for political candidates, the ultimate test which can not be faked, worked around, or manipulated. The imfamous "Mr. Guinness Power Drill Test". In words even children can understand just answer the question totally honestly to the VERY best of your REAL GUT feelings. Ready?
"Would you loan your power drill to Candidate ___________?"
Think about it, it's your power drill , you bought it, you are the one keeping it in shape and going, you are the one paying to repair it, and you are the one that expects it to be there for you not just for little jobs, but for those BIG jobs! So I ask you what do you think you'd get back from each candidate if you lent them your power drill? Here's my assessment;
Hillary Clinton - you'd get a flowery, scented "Thank You!" note filled with dripping honey and vague and veiled committments, more or less to be continued later. But no drill back,...it was sent to a refugee from Katrina as a gesture of one on one help and solidarity. (After all it wasn't her drill and you were coalaced into helping the needy, which is where you should have been in her opinion anyway!)
Barak Obama - I always wondered what the hell a model from "GQ" would do with a drill. I suppose we would have to dig back into the archives and find the operating instructions, see that they were translated into fifty-six different languages, be sure there was no dirt on it at all, and then with all the rest of the stuff we'd have to put up with a series of comments talking about a "fair and equitable method of modern fastening technology being disemmanated to the nations poor and needy", and after that the uniqueness that "the more blessed and privelged have the opportunity to join with the government in the propagation of model programs like this where they are most needed." (Does anyone know where the hell my drill went?)
John Edwards - Has seen pictures of drills, remembers his "poor friends and neighbors" just barely scrapping by using thiers,...but has to get back to us on how long he'll need it because his Gulf Stream is due in the shop for an oil change and the Caddilac Escalade has a "pinging noise" coming from the engine.
Mitt Romney - He's sure he can use it, can't really offer you a beer for lending it to him, isn't really sure what part of the country he will be using it, but as a "home town boy" in at least thirty-six states he knows it will work. But before he uses it he wants to trace and baptize it's entire line of heritage by generation to be sure they all are saved and can enter the Power Drill Hall of Fame.

I guess it's time to move on to the Republican Candidates,...let's see,

John McCain - Good man, salt of the earth, spent his time in hell at the Hanoi Hilton, proven leader, straight shooter,....but there is serious potential that because of his age he may forget where he left my drill, or even if he brought it inside after he used it,...or worse yet may even forget borrowing it, ergo making returning it to me a non-existing situation! Then what will I do?
Rudy Gulianni - I guess I don't have to worry about his ex-wife getting it in the divorce settlement, and the probability of having it under security and hidden are very good, OR maybe that was my drill alongside the Cross Bronx Expressway that was just lying there stripped and nothing but a burned out husk of a pwer drill. Plus being from New York City, and being the former Mayor, you gotta iknow he's well versed in screwing things, (and people!)
Fred Thompson - As long as he's not wearing a "Vol's" ball cap, or a "Grand ol' Opry" tee shirt there is hope. And I trust him to borrow my drill, do what he has to do with it, clean it up before returning it to me, offering me a beer when he returns it as a gesture of thanks, ....and DAMN if we can just get Sam Waterston as his Vice President,...well now we can gt something done around this country, but alas "Lennie Brusco" has passed on so we'll have to settle for someone else for Homeland Security,...but I'm all for Marisa Hagirtay as Secretary of State, and let's get "Munch" as Ambassador to the Middle East, and Ice-T as secretary of Defence.
Thanks Fred, you got my support, at least you bring a crew to the Cabinet that knows how to get things done, and feel free to tell poiticians to kiss their butt!

More as the race progresses,....but I am officially a "Friend of Fred"!

-30-

Wrong button,...(almost time for the pub!)

2007-09-03T15:04:00.000-05:00

For anyone who knows me as an "old fart" i have a boatload of opinions. I will try not to subject you to the more "political" of them on this blog sight, however I've re-activate my "other" blog at "www.commonsensegonzo.blogspot.com" you will never get away from my opinions on that sight.
In fact I published the first blog since 2005 on it this afternoon, It's the short breif history of the freedom from salvery for Americans between 1776 and 1976, 200 years of freedom aren't bad, but the last fiofty have been very stressful, follow my demented "keyboard" as it explains to all for the world to see.
Got to go now, those silent all black helicopters are everywhere now,...you know?
-30-

Oh, in case you 're wondering.

2007-09-03T15:03:00.001-05:00

Labor Day 2007, The beginning of the end in Destin

2007-09-03T10:48:00.000-05:00

As a lot of you already know I live in the Destin Florida area. I moved here in the 1996-1997 period, started a new life, with my wife, bought a nice townhome in 2000, and have been "coming back" ever since. But I must unhappily inform you the entire area may as well have been bombed based on the economic outlook and current conditons I see here.
The once "red hot" real estate market is gone (unless you have cash, and Cash is King!) I thought it was immoral to allow people to get "upside down" (where you owe more than something is worth at current values)in automobile sales. I watched it put my own oldest boy into bankruptcy five years ago. But the good news is that all he lost was a fancy new car, his credit rating for about two or three years, and had him eating humble pie for several months. (There's no way you can put a good "spin" on going from a brand spanking new hot car to an old motorcycle!)
Now the "upside down" car stuff was one thing, but this new "sub-prime mortgage" stuff is a whole other kettle of fish! The car thing was to move mostly American Auto Manufacturers inventory and keep autoworkers working, suck up the stop gap "losses", and stay alive as a business while the economy strengthened. BUT where is the "good" of the sub-prime stuff? In my humble opinion (and we all know what that's worth!)this is probably the mosst vicious, predatory practice ever perpetrated on people. Let me expand, why is it so bad, you ask.
First of all it was fueled by only one motivation, greed! What is the difference between a "drug dealer" offering a wide-eyed thirteen year old "free" hits of meth, coke, or heroin? The great "American Dream" was "pimped" to a lot of folks who, although they wanted it in a HUGE way, were not quite ready for it yet. It took away any "safety net", i.e. any "emergency out" they may have had. It let them get way in over thier head, borrowing more than they could reasonably afford to re-pay, and taking away "the Dream" in a cruel way,....foreclosure. A house foreclosure does not go away quickly, it lingers for at least seven years on your credit history. If you've a family it is a 24/7 reminder of "failing" to provide for them. And it will sour you like you would not believe. But so what,...is that the worse that can happen? Hell no!
The clowns allowing the mortgages then turn around and "bundle them" to even more greedy investors in large seven, eight, and even nine figure "bundles". For example you pile 100 of the $275,000 mortgages together and you have a $27,500,000 "bundle" kicking off an 8, 9, 10, and even higher percentage return every year, and they are all secured by real estate. So a few "go south" or fail, you just turn it around and sell it again. It's not like real estate is a "risk", or is it. While everyone thought the market would never end, the values would just escalate, and escalate, and escalate! The way it was going from 2000 to late 2005 you had to be a total idiot with an I.Q. of less than a "caveman" (ooops! Sorry guys, just a play on words) , not to become a millionaire.
The bad thing is that this little "time-bomb" of greed went global. Overseas investors and banks got involved in the buying of "bundles", the "bundles" got bigger, instead of $27,500,000, bundles rose to $100,000,000+, it was truly like owning the "Golden Goose",.....but then....
It all turned around. The old adage of your mortgage payment never exceeding a total of 25% of your aftertax income was a brief footnote to "the old days". The terms which had flourished a scant year ago evaporated. Terms like "Jumbo", "Wrap-arounds", "progressives", and "the flip" now became visible for what they were, a lot of "bullshit". World markets began to stagger, U.S. markets began to stagger, the "couple of odd bad debts" turned into "snowballs" of bad debt. Forclosure rates began to reach all time record numbers. The once firecracker of "I don't give a damn what it costs, I'll take it, make it happen" crowd began to doubt. Now instead of buying like a shark feeding frenzy they began to think about what and how they were buying. I've one acquaintance who mortgaged his family home to the absolute maximum concievably possible, in fact well beyond ANYONE's belief that it could even reach. He then bought several palatial places right on the ocean, started wrapping mortgages around multiple properties, "re-fi" the package into "bundles" and man he was rich. The "plan"? To set up a confusing trail of ownership of multiple properties leading to one "el Primo" place completely paid for by the "re-fi's and "cash take-outs" on the rest of the "house of cards". Then what? Well his plan was to bank enough to pay for his kid's college, max the "take-out" money on his businesses, much like he did on his main "ancestral home" in another big city, file for divorce, dump his wife, leave her the "ancestral home" as his settlement on the divorce, let the rest of the house of cards fold up, and voila! He had a fabulous home, completely paid for, covered uder the "homestead" act in Florida, pull in a personal bankruptcy, and walk away clean! And who would pick up all his "pieces"? You really think he cared? He had "offshored" money, leveraged all his "disposable assets",a/k/a "throw away homes", and was virtually untouchable. Unlike the young couple who are just beginning life and who "stretch" to own thier own home, signing for the "sub-prime mortgage", optomistically thinking "we'll be earning so much more in three years when the payment goes from "$677 a month" to the "$1432 a month" that it won't hurt!" You can find most of them now prowling around for a low cost bankruptcy attorney, or just walking away and moving out of state to try and "start over" again.
Sound depressing,....it is, and I know a number of folks in that position.
Now me? No, I saw it coming and " re-fi'd" my mortgage in very early '05. got a nice sub 6%, fixed 30 year rate, and even had it all planned so that my "retirement check" from Social Security when I'm 65 would cover it all. Oooops! Shame on me,...forgot about the damn hurricanes! Last March I had to writre a check for $5,400 for "homeowners insurance", which included "wind" or "hurricane" insurance, but in all honesty I really don't know if I can afford to do that again this March, so somebody bettter find a solution. My first home we bought in 1972 cost us $296 a month and that included the Principal on the mortgage, the interst on it, the annual real estate taxes, and the "homeowners insurance". That was 18 months of payments for me to even cover my current years "hurricane insurance". The worst part is I do not have the option of "gambling" even. That being the option of not carrying the "hurricane insurance", becasue the mortgage lender requires it!
AND the way it works there is a "deductible" on the hurricane insurance. I pay the $5,400 insurance premium for the year, AND have to "eat" the first $6,000 worth of damage to meet my deductible,....then I can file a claim!
Yup,...this "sub-prime" shit is going to bite a lot of people in the butt, the only "realisitic" solution is to increase the income to cover the costs, and since we in this country spend more time at our businesses hearing about how "things are too tight and we can't do any raises this year" we are left with the new model of funding the "American Dream", take in several families of illegal immigrants and give them an 8 foot by ten foot room for thier family of four, charge them rent and prosper, or re-read Robin Hood and try your own skills at "re-distribution of the countries wealth via Smith & Wesson negociations.
End of Rant
-30-

August 31,2007 - What now?

2007-08-31T09:56:00.000-05:00

Been very busy sheparding this lawsuit for one of my associations, in fact spent time with Banks setting up million dollar credit lines yesterday.
This morning I found an interesting site on the web, it is "www.realage.com" it's one of those survey type sites in that you answer a whole bunch (maybe 40 questions) about health history, background, medicines, activity levels, exercise(what the hell is that?), and they compare them all in some big "black program" and send you the results. The bottom line is that there is your biological age, your mental age, and your physiological age. So biologically you could be 40, mentally 21 (sometimes accused of that!), and physiologically 65. Granted I'm citing extremes here, but I'm waiting for the e-mail results. Sure would be nice to be biologically the 62.5 I am, but mentally about 40, and physiologically about 50. But I reckon due to my being "built for comfort not speed" the physiological might be about 70! I'll let you know when I get the info (provided my answers did'nt blow up thier computer program.
I had some time to kill yesterday waiting for an appointment with a bank so I pulled out a looseleaf notebook that I started years ago and just happen to have in the car, in which a lot on my "pre-blogging" blogs (a/k/a real written things on paper) were stored. I think I may put some of them up on the web for your consideration and see if my commetns and thoughts from the early 21st century still hold water.
Gotta go for now, back at you when I get home this afternoon.
-30-

Sorry Boys and Girls,...been on a mental vacation!

2007-08-28T14:04:00.000-05:00

What with working every day and all kinds of other things going on in life I fianlly reached a point with my hiatus from the world of work and realized
I even had a full vacation in Disneyworld planned for a six day stint in September, and I even prepaid for it all. (Forget it, I ain't even going to think about cancelling it! I was smart enopugh to buy the meal plan as welland all the tickets and reservations so shit! Just gonna go and relax and enjoy. I'll be back to getting serious after that.)
And since it's going to be a "grueling six days of FUN!" I guess I better rest up now and get in shape for it.ok, first the sleep regimen. No more five and a half hours, then up on the computer, checking the bank accounts etc.,....nope screw it. Go to bed at 10 pm and stay there til 8am, (it ain't like I gotta be at work at 8!) Get up pour a cup of coffee, shower and shave, (I know some guys live for the days they can skip shaving for the day, me, shit I don't even feel awake unless I shave it's sort of an O/C thing (obsessive compulsive), then I'm human.)
Go dick around on the computer, touch base with the clients that are going to jump ship and come with me in Novemeber, make sure everybodies still happy and on track, do a few errands, make a few calls to "former business associates" (they are the most fun actually, here's how they usually go;
Hey Ann, how's things going?
"Pretty good, and how about you I heard they dumped you,...ah,...so what are you doing now?"
"Actually I'm just lining them all up, getting ready to create some havoc in the field,...you know?"
"Ah..yeah, I mean like who are you working for now."
"Ann, Ann, remember I always told you never work for anyone but yourself, casue if you get a "JOB" it simply means "Just Over Broke",....so why should I work for anyone else?"
"Well I mean you have to get a check right? Or did you start your own firm?"
"Actually I did start my own company, I am now officially a fully licenced and registered "LLC" (Limited Liability Corporation). Just finished registering it all about five days ago as a matter of fact."
"Great, so what's it called and what are you doing with it?"
"Awww,Ann, you know if I told you I'd have to kill you! I am getting ready to just pop everything wide open,...you know?"
"Y..e..s, but what are you going to do?"
"Well, today I'm probably going to have a bite to eat for lunch, work on a couple contracts and make a few corrections to them, then slip down to the pub for a couple of pints before supper,...you know, nothing strenuous."
"But what exactly are you going to do?"
"Well,...it's kind of a long story, but I guess,...oops, hold on a minute, it's my damn cell."
.
.
.
.
" Sorry just a few of the last minute detail thingies to take care of before we launch."
"But what about your non-compete agreement?"
"I'm one of those stupid idiots that believe in the Constitution, you know the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. If Mr. Magoo is that afraid of little old me after he's had a dozen years to build and establish his shitty little company,well,....I guess my comment is "Bring it on Mother,...but be sure someone's got your back, 'cause I'm gonna be all over your clients with truth, you can then explain to them the thing with the "blue smoke and mirrors" and the sublties of "misappropriation" versus a three year series of "bookeeping errors"."
"So maybe we should get together and you can fill me in on all the stuff you're doing?"
"Gee Ann, I'd love to but I have to be real careful not to let any of this slip out and all. Got a lot at stake here. Listen I'd love to talk more, but I just got a few e-mails I have to deal with like now. Take care kid and keep in touch,...adios"

And so it goes, keep 'em all guessing while I relax a bit more. Once Disneyworld is over and done, I'll be ready for another three or four years of kick ass business pursuit, only this time it will be on my terms and for my company!
TTFN
-30-

Ok folks, time to go to work!!

2007-08-21T15:09:00.000-05:00

Guess I'm a bit aggrevated today. Time for a few folks to get off thier asses and make things work for me. I have five, count them, five accounts that are ready,willing and able to go whereever I go, a total of over $75,000 in manageemnt revenue, another $130,000 in maintenance revenue, all ready. Board meetings already held, unanimous agreement to "Go where Mr. G. goes". In fact I had the owner of one company actually call several of them up and confirm what I'm telling him! But alas they are all in the "Show me the beef!" realm as owners,....SOOOOO
Screw it, went on line filled in a few boxes, threw in a credit card, and Poof!!! Now I am a full fledged "Limited Liability Corporation" in the eyes of the State! Do I really need the folks out there , the doubting Thomas's? Not really, but do I really want the real aggrevation of starting another whole business. At going on 63 odds are there aren't too many "long term contracts" I will see for the next ten or twenty years, UNLESS I adopt the old "Today's Sixty is the new Forty" mindset. Shit,...why not!
So I'm off to work tomorrow in "the pit" to set about a getting a Federal ID, or (shudder!!!) tax number, get a bank account open, line up my own contract forms (plagerism is the sincereest form of flattery!), see about a little health insurance for the employee's (a/k/a Me & the Wife), and other mundane garbage.
Then I guess I'll send out the contracts to those who have said they'll follow, and see what happens.
More tomorrow, gotta go get my car from the shop. Radiator was 75% clogged up so it was over heating bigtime,...but I got a brand new radiator fan $193, a new radiator cap $18.65, a new Thermostat (free! they felt guilty that it has taken three times before the problem was ever found!) And God only knows how much this "clean-out costs! (It's da' big one 'Lizbeth, I'm comin'- you gotta be a Sanford and Son fan for this one)
-30-

Now the "old onion" phase begins!

2007-08-20T08:19:00.000-05:00

The 'old onion" is the phase where I stopped with the cream the Doc gave me Saturday morning. My face is turning back to the normal skin tones and vehicles don't stop when they see my face anymore like when it was red,red. "Excuse me sir the kids aren't back in school yet why are you crossing guards on the street now?"
Anyhow whatever was in the stuff has allowed me to return to a more normal color, despite everything just drying up and peeling. Sort of like the "old onion" in the bin that is drying out and flaking, or the garlic bulbs. (Really funny thing is that one of the "nutty things" about this whole process was like everytime I'd wash my hands or face I would get a whiff of Garlic! Really weird. I'd call my wife and say "Can you smell it?" and of course she couldn't,...but it was there I swear!
The new Company I'm going to work for wants a few more clients aboard before they start to pay me. (Hmmmm! may have to check this one out,....can things be that tight? I know he fully expects one account to leave , as a matter of fact they will most probably give him notice today, we'll see.)
I've decided to just go with the flow. I called the regular Doc and upped my blood pressure pills (no health insurance until I start the new job officially, and a single incident would put me in the crapper, believe me.) That's another piece of shit with my old company, the day you go you're gone, health insurance and everything,....now how morally right is that? God am I glad I don't work for that "Christian Company" any more, or maybe the idiot that owns it really thinks he's got a whole new sect of Christianity out there the "Fiorst church of ME, ME, ME!
Played in the kitchen last evening (haven't done that in a while!) made an Apricot chicken dish with dill infused red bliss potatoes, and a "skillet" strawberry shortcake that was really cool. (If I knew how to insert the web link I'd show you, ...but alas I ain't that hi-tech yet.
One of my clients has a budget meeting this morning, and since I do the budgets I'd love to see how my company "bluffs" through this one! They haven't even told them I'm not with the firm anymore. (I really am beginning to feel a real pang to drop a few large boulders on them for "shits and giggles")
So what will I do today? Hurricane Dean is just cruising along with 130 m.p.h. winds and will probably hit the Yucatan Penninsula of Mexico about noon or so tomorrow at it's current pace. Then it's going into the Bay of Campeche west of the Yucatan. The forecasters are calling for it to diminish greatly and become more of a tropical depression, BUT....just a little over ten years ago, a "tropical Depression" named "Opal" just sat in the Bay and began building, and bulding, and building,...then like a scalded dog it took off and slammed into the Fort Walton Beach Area, a scant ten mile from here. So I guess I'll watch this one closely until it's all gone!
Made up some "sole practitioner" business cards yesterday. I have a monthly luncheon and Continuing Education class tomorrow from noon til three so I guess we'll do some heavy networking. (Until someone hands me a check I'm still a free agent and money does make the world go around and pays the bills.
I know!!! I'll write an article on "watching your back" if you are a portfolio manager like I am. Oh well off to enjoy the day!
-30-

"The Buffalo Theory" courtesy of Cliffy Clavin

2007-08-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

One of the all time GREAT shows on TV was Cheers. In fact I tried to model my Irish on that vein. Any way I can not find the piece on You tube, or anywhere else, but a friend sent me this from a Beer ad and it is the quintesentail Cheers, and why I loved it. If only we could be as tolerant of other folks, as attentive to folks we really know are not totally with it, and as brutally honest and clear in thought. I present to you,...The Buffalo Theory,...
In one episode fo Cheers Cliffy,( the mailman) is seated at the bar describing "The Buffalo Theory" to his buddy Normy. (I don't think I've ever heard the concept any better explained, than this!)

"Well you see Norm, it's like this...a herd of Buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole. becasue the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eleiminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster more efficient machine.
And that , Normy, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers!"

Bravo, Dr. Clavin, what more could humble I add to that argument?
-30-

ok,...the Doc calls back (shit!)

2007-08-17T20:31:00.000-05:00

"Well you're experiancing the "withdrawal phase" of steroids."
" And that means,...."
" a couple more weeks and you'll be back to normal."
" ...and in the mean time?"
" Well, let me say it's going to get worse before it gets better."
"...land you're going to give me prescription for it,...right?"
"Well,...it's sort of like a real "re-hab" thing,...no prescription. you're just
going to tough it out,...for a couple week."
"Say what?"
"Sorry, nothing I can do!"

And that's where we are.My face looking like a "medium pepperoni with cheese, heavy on the sauce"! Shit,...this sucks!

Anyway I'm back at you with the verdict. Friends and "worker buddies" think I've been just laying on the beach, soaking up the rays as a sign of my "contempt" from being fired, my new employers think I'm relaticely "cavelier", and I hurt like the old "I'm glad I'm not a wopman and think this chemical peel shit is "cool"!!
Well , enough of that shit, another day goes by. The wife is already doing the "you should be on a sodium free diet", my buddies at the Pub are into the "what, you quit workin' and hanging on the beach with the sexy young chicks?", and my forme5r employer has his minions calling to ask, "hoe are you doing, and by the way what can you tell me about the "X" Association?"
Now the key question for you, my faithful readers, a poll,....do I give ashit, or not?
Drop a line and let me know.

-30-

Drug interactions, pizza, and looking through "slits"

2007-08-17T09:44:00.000-05:00

Ok, really scary title, but here goes. let me hook it all together for you.
About two or three years ago I went for my annual physical, everything was ok, but you know the Doc has the usual, "Well, everything looks good but I'd like to run a couple tests to establish some baselines on you." (Translation from Dr. speak; "How am I going to make any money if you're fine? Let's see if we can find anything like a wart on you appendix, a Jerry Garcia tie collage in your colen, or maybe a Timex in your stomach that we can call a "murmur",...shall we?")
Well I too can play that game, ("Yeah sure Doc,...and by the way my psoriasis is kickin' up a bit on my face, got a few creams or lotions you can write that will cover it?" Yeah sure, let me write you a perscription.") So he writes a script, I agree to get some "cardiac baseline crap done, and we both leave happier, me with some stuff for my scaly skin, him with several hundred more in fee recovery from the Insurance carrier. A "win-win" for everyone!
Long story short he runs my ass on a treadmill, has this big burly guy standing beside me to catch me when I collapse, a nurse for another $50 for a couple of hours billing, and a Cardiologist whose entire vocabulary consists of "Hello, I'm Doctor (mumble,mumble, mumble." and dozens of assorted inflection and duration, "Hmmm"'s. Me I go to the drug store and get my cream. The stuff works like a dream and poof, 24 hourslater I'm back to my full non-scaly Ricardo Montleban/Harrison Ford image.
So last year I go back again, hit him for a re-fill script, agree to the dreaded "colonoscopy" (don't even ask, but if threatened with "doin' time my one call is to Jack Kevorkian!)
Onward we go. About two or three months ago, after a couple of years of using this "foam" called Olux, the psoriasis began to come back faster, and more agressively than ever before, pretty soon I was using it every day, all over my face. I went to the local GP(general practitioner) who gave me this shampoo and told me use it on my face and that I had a form of seborrea. Well two days later my face is beet red, it feels like someone peeled all the skin off without any anesthetic, and shaving was like torture! (You will tell us everything or we will pull another fingernail out of your writing hand,...Infidel!") So I called the real dermatologist,...time to get a pro involved. "Certainly sir, we can see you in ,..oh,...about three months from tomorrow,...ok?" (So much for a medical practice of "non-fatal" things like acne, "zits', rashes, and warts,....do I smell a cushy nine to five, Monday thru Friday gig here? Oh well, Mom always said I should have been a Doctor!)
So here we are a couple weeks ago and I go to this guy. By now I'm runing real low on my "wonder drug" Olux, and every day it's like Jack Nicholson time when I look in the mirror, "I'mmmmmm back!". So after a few basic questions, looking at my face like it was a rare work of art by DaVinci with these glasses with the little jeweler thingies glued to the lenses, and never even laying a finger on me, he turns, begins typing into a laptop computer furiously, and "zones out" for a while. Then he turns to me and says, "I'd like to take a biopsy." (Aside from the "turn your head and cough" or the "turn around and bend over" that's the other little phrase I don't want to hear. My stupid little brain substitutes a "d" for a "b", no way I want a "di-opsy", emphasis on the first syllable. But what choice do I have?
"Are you taking any steroids", he asks. "Not me, only my little "wonder drug" Olux here." , again he looks up from the laptop, "For how long now?" says he. "Oh,...let me see, I guess about two years now."says I.
"Well that explains it, Olux is a steroid. You appear to be having a severe steroid abuse reaction"
"So what does that mean?"
"Well the good news is I can cure it, ...but I still want to do a biopsy just to be sure."
(ATTENTION FOLKS - that's the little Cherry on the Ice Cream Sunday extra "perk" billing bump, also known as the "we need to run a couple of tests" OR "Let's see if I can bump this fifteen minutes up to the '$5,000 an hour' level. Doctor needs a new pair of shoes!)
So a week later he tells me I am having this "severe Steroid reaction" and the are some "fungal issues" as well, he prescribes some stuff, I go to the pharmacy he's called it in to, and pick it up. It's one toothpaste size tube of another one of those 24 letter names on it, with instructions to apply liberally twice a day for "fungal" growth eradication"!
Now I'm a week into this shit,(I even read all the fine print with a magnifying glass on the little piece of papyrus that comes stuffed in the box. "Good for jock itch, athlete s foot, and" a bunch of other stuff I don't think I really need to know about in latin.
Sounds like I wiped my face with my underwear and then dryed it with my socks!! EEEEOOOWWW!
Opening my eyes in the morning now requires physically reaching up and doing it, peering through the "slits" that they open too, and now the whole damn face looks like a salt shaker was used to season it, what with the little white dots of hundreds of dead skin cells. (Normally I guess you'd call it "peeling", except it's like thousands of individual cells dying off.)
It looks like a "chemical peel" undr that, and I'm getting extremely tired of the "Boy see you've been out in the sun, you really ought to use a sun blocker" remarks. (I don't do Sun,..period!)
So I've called the old dermatologist and am waiting for him to call and tell me what to expect. Should I go out and buy some duct tape incase the whole damn nose drops off, or maybe to hold the ears on, or better yet a "goalies" mask. Imagine walking into the Pub sitting down with a mask on on a Friday evening in the Southern United States. DAMN almost every redneck here is "packin'" shit the things I'll do to get a good pint of Guinness!
More later,....no back to your regular duties folks.
-30-

Stardate 2768.6,...

2007-08-16T17:11:00.000-05:00

Boy there are real "nuts" all around the place! For example last evening I was having a cool Guinness at my Pub and it was realatively slow. This guy two stools down from me is conversing with this "old dude" (I'm only 35, the body is wasted,...not the mind!") Anyway the "old dude" leaves and there is me and him. I try being polite and ventured a question like, "I happened to overhear you say you were involved with comuter networking." From there it was like a really, really scary Stephen King book. Next thing I know this dude (about thirty-something, goatee type beard, heavy metal black tee shirt, glasses thick enough to be Coke Bottle bottoms) is ranting and raving (literally!) about numbers and thier meaning, and talking in like ,.."17 is odorous, and with 16 it equals pussy, but the 99 of life is not the sequence, but the derivitive of the means, ...got it?" Like right dude, I'm there, (Excuse me bartender, do we have one of those elegant long sleeve jackets where the sleeves can sort of wrap around you and be tied,..in the back room?)
But thank God for "blue tooth", savior of the universe!!! You hold up one finger, point to your bluetooth earpiece, smile politely and say, "Excuse me, Incoming, and I have to take this one." You then fake a phone call. i.e. "Damn it John I told you we could discuss this in the morning,(three second pause),...ok but let's at least be civilized about it, now what part of the proposal do you think, "sucks",...because I spend three days making it perfect and according to your specifications,...so what part "sucks"..." (Make a few faces, look exasperated, roll your eyes at least twice,listen intently for about twenty seconds, then look like your wife (or girlfriend0 has just been raped by Freddie Kreuger, live on national TV, puff up your chest a bit, (turn to the offending "whacko", do the universal sign for crazy, "swirling finger around the ear",and quietly say, "I gotta take this outside,...excuse me." Get up and walk toward the door, uttering a few "now wait a minute, lay that one on me again!" and perhaps a "..you can't possibly even think that is even close to reality!), all the while keeping a finger on your bluetooth earpiece to let everyone know you are talking to an idiot, and you must handle it, and that universally to all of them, you apologize profusely for it interrupting thier evening.
Just like the Red Sea, they will part, let you get out, and shake thier heads in that "that poor bastard" look.
Once outside, sit down, relax, and tell one of the folks coming in, "You know I've been coming here a long time, but that guy at the end of the bar with the black heavy metal tee shirt,...God he's brilliant, say hello and just enjoy his polite, yet humorous response,...God I love this place!! You meet more celebrities than any other place on the seacoast! Ooops! Don't tell him I told you about him,...he loves his privacy,..you know?"
Just another lovly day in Paradise!!
-30-

"...and now the rest of the story!"

2007-08-07T07:08:00.000-05:00

Ok no suspense here. At 3:56pm yesterday I became officially an "un-employment statistic". The firm agree to pay me for three more weeks, I agreed to finish out this week and transition my accounts to others, and other than that I guess my decsion to clean out all of my "stuff" last Saturday was a sound one. (Anyone know how to get HUGE Bus tiretread marks out of a shirt?)
Is this the end? Far from it. I suspect you'll have a lot to read in the next few weeks. Number one, I have no intention of changing careers. Number two, I have no intention of honoring a "non-compete" agreement since the action was unilaterally thiers, and weighing what I was "resigned" for, versus what I know and can prove,...well I guess the best term is "bring it one Mother".
First order of business today is acquire an exteranl 120 gig hard drive and "dump" my laptop computer files down to it for "future referance" (i.e. e-mails, spreadsheets, evidence of a form of "cookin' the books", etc., then wipe the Hard drive on the laptop clean. Ordered the hard drive on-line last night but any one know a "drop dead" great "scrubbing" program, and does the old "fdisk" still wipe out a drive as well if all else fails? My e-mails, my clients, my evidence!
Good thing I have been chatting with this guy about starting a new buiness in the same field, we had already planned to meet last night for me to provide him a final "laundry list" of things we need, his money is already in place, and he didn't flinch when I told him I start needing a weekly check in about three weeks. But I've things to do today and putting down a lot on paper. I didn't work my butt off for the past two years picking up credentials and "kudo" letters for nothing.
(sigh) I guess you know instinctively who the snales are, and where the land mines are, although I need to improve my timeling a little more, could have used about another three months before I made the move to "self-employment" again.
Good news is I've already paid for a six day vacation in Disney World in Orlando, Florida including all meals, tickets and everything else for September 11th to the 17th,...so I reckon I'll be planning and planting between now and then, take my "vacation and clear my head, and then "kick it up a notch" on the 18th and hit the road rested and running.
-30-

Wanted: Hungry Attorney with balls!

2007-08-05T09:43:00.000-05:00

NEVER thought I'd go looking for an Attorney, but then again I'm the one that trusts fellow human beings (despite being told by friends, for years, that is a STUPID thing to do!)
But let me ask you, my readers, IF we all purport to be "Godly" people, i.e. living by a code of morality and fairplay for all, then how could one deviate from that? Well, first there is greed, "I want it all", "I'll be damned if I'm going to lose what I got!", and my personal favorite justification for a full fledged "Big Asshole" attack, "That's not my problem, throw someone under the bus,...it'll go away."
I can live with the "pure greed", or the pure "it's all about ME", but the "not my problem, throw someone under the bus",....well that's not tolerable at all. I've made mistakes in my life, I've "screwed up" on regular occasions, and I am far from being declared a "Saint". But I'd never deliberately set about to destroy someone over strictly personal fear of losing an "account" which the firm deliberately screwed up a couple of years before I even joined it!
So as they say it all starts with "a little lie" (Lie #1 -My boss tells me the Board of Directors of one of my accounts wants a new manager. Within 24 hours I get peronal calls from a majority of the Board members asking me what the hell is going on, they don't want me to be removed, and upon sworn bibles told me there was never any discussion of this,...ever. The problem was not created by me, therefor I have no need of going "under the bus". In fact they are delighted I did the right thing and brought it to thier attention.)
Then the next little lie becomes easier, (Lie #2 - We've just about wrapped up a new big account that would be perfect for you and it would take a lot of the stress of the ten or twele little accounts you have". Truth be told they are simply bidding on it at this point, and it is not a "good" account in that it's members are not paying thier dues anywhere near on time and it will be a real adversarial situation to manage,...IF they get it.)
Then the next lie, well not really a lie, but a "cover your ass big time" move ( "We are going to give half your accounts to the new person, so you'll have time to transition them over the next couple of weeks." Gee why is it all the "high end" accounts being transitioned away from me, yet I get to keep the "little guys"?)

This is a rather OBVIOUS set of things is it not? You pull the high revenue accounts away from me immediately, keep me busy with the little guys whom you could really care less about, leave me only enough time to "transition" or train the new person, and coincidentally in a few weeks tell me the "big one" got away and there isn't enough revenue coming in , what with just my "little accounts" so (Lie #3 coming up here) "While we really hate to do this We will have to let you go,....next week."
So how do we head it off? Here are the options;
1. Call them out and confront them that they lied to my face, therefore there will be no changes, and I won't train anyone to replace, oops sorry "transition"
2. Present them with a contract for my services for the next three years and ask for the signature or good bye today. Throw them to the wolves with all my clients at the same time with no time to react.
3. Hire an attorney and begin a class action suite on behalf of the clients they have been screwing up thier books for over the past ten years, and a personal "whistle blowers" suite on my behalf
4. Open my own firm, hire an Attorney to make shreds of the Non-compete contract they force you to sign before hiring you (Incidentally the ONLY firm of this type within a few hundred miles that does that.) AND then make a concerted effort to attack and acquire thier accounts to my own firm based on integrity and working "with" a client, and not spending every waking hour making sure we cover our ass!

So who knows a good attorney who loves to stick up for truth, justice and the REAL American way?

More in the next few blogs as this sorts it's way out, and No I'm not paranoid, I'm a quick study on greedy self centered people particularly the ones who run around 24/7 telling eveyone what a "Christian Company" they run. That makes me very, very sick,....(the owner of the company went up to the former chief Administrative person, who is a devout Jew, put his arm around her shoulder and made the statement, "Boy isn't it wonderful how our good Christian company all pulls together?" (Yup this boy's a real "cracker, redneck, greedy "human being")
-30-

...and the last good one still stand!"

2007-07-30T19:46:00.000-05:00

....so, as I was saying,..'05 was starting badly!

2007-07-28T10:55:00.002-05:00

As the months went on from spring break into the early summer we were scaring the shit out of the tourists, our life's blood of money flow. The God hit us with the coup d'grace! Most of the "bad" storms were occuring in the late August, September, early October periods, and most of the tourists were home snuggled up with thier weathe channels all on watching and gleefully jumping up and down litttle kids saying "We were there last year, weren't we Daddy"
Anyhow along came Hurricane Dennis, right in July, the peak of the tourst season. Full scale evacuations in effect, tourists oblivious to them, then they figured it out! "Holy Shit Martha, get the kids in the car we gotta get gasoline before they all run out down here and then head back home quick."
What is it with humans. They all get the same collective idea simoultaneously! So one by one over a five hour period every single gasoline station in town goes dry, lines are backed up a mile from the station just to get in, folks are bumper to bumper trying to get off the Island (you got your 331 bridge, your Mid-Bay bridge, your Carrilon Beach Bridge, or your Brooks Bridge. That's all there is folks take your pick. Well they took 'em all and jammed everything up to beat the band. You got the idiots who decided to stay, but the Innkeepers who told them "No Way Jose,...you're outta here, NOW!!!"
Suffice it to say a mandatory evacution in the height of tourist season has to be done earlier than usual, by about two days from landfall of the hurricane, to be sure we get them all out. Us locals? Those who were leaving ain't no dummies, they left the day before the tourists! The rest of us just "rode it out"...again.
Well then came Katrina which really screwed up the works. Now don't get me wrong, but it brought a really nasty crownd to our area in place of the usual crowd. I learned more ways to be scammed and chiseled from those folks than all my years growing up in the city!
Anyway we got through it,...somehow!
'06 was nothing, not even a whimper, so we chilled out, said a few extra "Thank You Lord''s" than usual and relaxed.
But somebody replaced "relaxed" with "complacent" so for the past winter and into this summer all we've heard about is the "Be prepared, Be ready, know your evacuation route, put your valuables together in one place for easy removal, stock up and get yourself a generator, and on, and on, and on to ad nauseum!
Now we are all fidgity about things. The real Estate market is still depressed as hell, hurricane insurance ratees have gone up 300%, (what cost me $800 a year four years ago is now costing me $5,400!, and if I don't have it it's a default on the mortgage!) So needless to say we are all nervous as hell.
Either hit me with a real nasty ass storm so I can collect my insurance and move to Utah, or stop with the big pep rally that's wearing our nerves to a frazzle!
But then again the sunny days in the September to December period are all worth it,...sigh!
Well, a few more '05 pictures and I'm off to relax.

....so, as

2007-07-28T10:55:00.001-05:00

here comes '05!!

2007-07-28T10:43:00.000-05:00

So we all breathed collective sighs and thought the same thing, "Well that's about it for the next ten or twelve years!" WRONG!!
'05 started early with even more tropical storms eating the last bits of beach off the land, and undermining a bunch of things, i.e. buildings sea walls, dune walkovers (stairways up and over the dunes)destroying the fragile eco-system of the dunes and setting us up for the second hit. And here they come,...again. On the pix above that first step from the parking lot into your seaside condo can be a real bitch!
And that pile of trash, used to be a Gulf front vacation home,....poof,....now you see it, now you don't (Pictures by the God Re-development Company, "Is your insurance paid up?"

Onward with new technology under my belt!

2007-07-28T10:33:00.001-05:00

So anyway, that's how '04 came and went, the "one a day" multiple hurricane days. I think we had about 18 or 19 "tropical events, i.e. storms, hurricanes (catagory 1, 2, 3, or "the kiss your ass goodbye numbers 4 and 5) and with great sighs of relief, knowing every human being broadcasting any time of the day or night on the weather channel, more about Jim Cantore (weather channel hurricane follower who goes "on the scene" and we all watch as he blows to and fro with bushes anf limbs of trees soaring by him in his sheik "Weather Channel" storm parka with his poor camera guy occasionally wiping a rag across the lens of the camera to keep it clear. Now a few more pix's from the '04 period.
Note all the erosion,...what beach, it used to be there!!

Back again, can you see me now?

2007-07-28T10:26:00.001-05:00

Hello again. Let's try some pix's
And then there was this little "restroom station" at the parking lot. (Ok so imagine there used to be a parking lot around it.

Let me see how this looks, and I'll be back for "the rest of the story"
-30-

I ain't working this weekend!!

2007-07-28T09:38:00.001-05:00

I'm feeling the crunch today. The crazy idiot tourists, the hot and VERY humid weather, the "burrs" under everyone's saddles, and believe it or not the lack of hurricanes. Does that sound stupid or what!
How the hell can the "lack of hurricanes" bother someone? It's easy. When I first moved to Florida full time in late '97, I knew Hurricanes prowled the area. I'd been few a couple in New England back in the 50's, and a few more over the years in different places. But Florida is the "bullseye" for mother nature with respect to hurricanes. But I wasn't really phased by them,...then.
The year after we got here was our first real "hurricane", a little one called Georges (phonetically "Jorrgis") I remeber the forcast that it would make landfall on Saturday night into Sunday morning, it was a "catagory 2" I believe. But how could that be? My wife and I did a little shopping Friday, got batteries, bottled water, we hung out, as the whole town was "closed". Shops were boarded up businesses all closed down, all loose things put away, lawn furniture in the livingroom, all the usual precautions. By noon time Saturday we were bored to tears. The weatherchannel was babbling on, the sky was clear and it was sunny, sunny, sunny. "Come on honey, let's go for a ride", says me. So we jumped in the convertible, put the top down and set out to see what we could see.
Yup it was just like they said, all the businesses were closed and boarded up, all the loose stuff stowed, and the streets were empty. (I could actually get up to the speed limit on the usually bumper to bumper hi-way!) We poked around the Harbor area and found one lowly restaurant open, so in we go. They had a big open deck overlooking the harbor itself so we had lunch on the deck, a couple of beers, helped some tourists and took pictures of them all smiling and looking all goofy tourist family on vacation. They offered to take a snapshot of us with my wife's camera so we let them and gave them our best non-plussed "local" expressions. We cruised a bit more, found abagel shop open so we decided to get some as bagels are the "twinkies" of breads for staying power. The girl gave us about fourteen and said, "guess we ain't havin' much of a crowd today so here's a couple extra so I can get rid of 'em all and go home too." Then we went back to the house, watched the tube (TV), and turned in early. Still no sign of anything just a "cloudier sky at sunset" than usual.
Next morning, being Sunday, we figured we'd get up, go to church, come home, have a liesurely breakfast, and curl up with a good book. (Also another Hurricane necessity since electricity, we were told, usually is out for a few days.) It looked really ominous with dark swilling nasty clouds literally "roaring" by. The winds had picked up significantly and the palms and anything else around was waving vigorously. We decided to skip church and stay hunkered down. By ten or so it started raining, by 10:30 it was pouring sideways. (Seriously the rain was coming down,oops, I really mean across in sheets. The place across the street, maybe twenty or thirty feet away was a blurred blob, barely definable. And so it was for hours and hours. The electricity hadn't gone out yet so I snapped a picture of the weatherchannel with thier map showing the "Eye" just about over us. Then it just died off to nothing but a very cloudy day, no winds, no rain. That was the "eye" directly over us. Then as fat as it died off it came back and we were back on the rollercoaster for hours more, window screens sailed by, garbage can lids, anything not nailed down,...but the electricity never went off. By seven or eight that night we were ready for bed,..and made no plans for tomorrow.
Next morning we got us, the sun rose into a virtually clear sky, and it was almost surealistic in that the fury and power of yesterday was gone,..poof,...vanished. And we were back to bing just an empty "ghost town". So we went out, checked and found no damage to speak of, and just hung out for the day again, and back to normal the day after. And that was our first Hurricane in Florida.
The next few years were just "normal", a couple of tropical storms, a few tropical "depressions", but overall nothing to write home to Mom about. And so it went until 2004. What I call the "one a day multiple brand hurricane days". It started not too very bad, then the storms started coming like an Uzi submachine gun as oppsed to rifle shots with time between. The worst on that year was "Ivan" , he kicked the shit out of a bunch of folks and property. the "little" Tropical storms in between the hurricanes concentrated on tearing up our beaches something fierce. (If I can figure it out again I'll pop in some pix's I took in '04, and '05 of the aftermath)
Going to end this part of the blog and see if the pix's published in the "easy style" of blogspot. Back in a few.
-30-

To Bike, or not to Bike,...that is the question!

2007-07-22T13:30:00.000-05:00

Ok maybe it's time for the wife to "put me away", off to the rest home, "losing it", or for my English mates "bloody daft", but in the wife's loving venacular, "You're fuckin' crazier than I thought!" Why all these thoughts about a nice old sot like me who loves Guinness, wouldn't hurt a fly (ok,..so I lied,...I'd beat the shit out of a fly, they are annoying!), and all the other nice things ever said about me?
Because I had a "brain fart" this morning. It all started as I rode along the beach road. There is a six foot wide bicycle/walking/jogging path for about eight miles of it. The walkers and joggers co-exist peacefully enough, but the bikers(not the Harley type, but the Fujiama/Cannondale crowd, they insist on riding on the regular road.
While I will be the first to stand up and ask for forgiviness, to repent from my wicked ways, etc.,etc. I really didn't mean to think about sort of "holding the line" and if thier bicycle should come in contact with my car fender,....well, they have helmets on, and besides aren't those "tour d'France" shirts they wear just absolutely the most disgusting fashion statements you''ve ever seen! (Sorry,..The devil made me say that!)
Anyhow, I deviate. I've been arguing with the little guy, you know the voice in your head that keeps saying shit like, "Don't eat that , it's not healthy" and "Put your tongue back in your mouth and stop drooling, she's old enough to be your granddaughter!" or the issue we're going "round and round about" now.
"So you selfish shit, you 're not doing any exercise, you work, eat, drink a few pints, sleep and complain about it, and you know what that means? Huh? You are going to leave me, die, kick the bucket,croak, etc. and you're wife,...well she'll get some new thirty something "stud muffin, boy toy", and he'll get your recliner, throw out your Pub music collection, and all your computers, and why? Because you are too damn stupid to get into some kind of exercise program?"
I must say the little guy is persuasive. So I've been thinking,...what could I do for exercise that I could "tolerate" you see I HATE exercise. If I had ten bucks for every gym, spa, etc. I've joined and went three times only to be "the fat guy" by the third visit amongst the "body beautiful" crowd who are working like crazy to drop a pound! They are consumed by it, they live for it, they think they are "fat"! Excuse me but I'M the poster boy for the "Outlaw Twinkies" posters!
Anyhow my perverted logic has been carrying the argument with the little guy and they started to gang up on my "soft side". "Look dummy, if you got a bike and the "gym crowd" was around you could ride away from them. And with the goofy helmet, a dumb ass shirt, sunglasses, and a hundred and something odd gear bicycle you could fly away. Don't you remember how much fun riding your bike was as a kid?"
"Frankly no, my mother wouldn't let me get a bike until I was fifteen because someone she knew had a kid run over by a truck when she was five riding a bike."
"Alright, but consider if you don't do something we will probably not be having too many long term conversations. And remember that article I made you see on Google about not being skinny isn't necessarily bad if you are a bicyclist,....remember?"
"Ok,... I'll look into it, satisfied? And I guess you have to come along since you're like in my head already,....but you say one word, you even do an oooh or an aaaah, and we're out of there I'm telling you."
"Sure, sure, you got it, not a peep out of me, promise. But we are going looking right?"
"Yeah, we're going to look at bikes."
"Goood,...let's go I'm all set!"
"It's Sunday stupid, bike shops aren't open on Sunday."
"Wrong, Bicycle Bob's out in Blue Mountain Beach is open today."
"Are you sure? Couldn't we just wait until tomorrow?"
"BULLSHIT! Tomorrow you go back into workaholic mode and God forbid you think of skipping a pint at the Pub after work, and Lord knows dinner is at 6:30p.m. and then between the Law & Order re-runs, and NCIS, ...shit next thing you know it's next weekend. Stop being a procrastnator, get off you lazy ass and let's go!!!"
"But I'm writing a 'blog' entry."
"Look, don't whine and weasel like that, get your ass up and I'll finish the blog, tell the wife you're going to look at some bike and thinkking about an "exercise" program,...you got three minutes I'll be done with the blog by then,...OK?"
"Well get going,...NOW!"

He's downstairs now and I got him. Odd's are he'll get intersted and I'll push him over the edge. Got to run,...I'll let you know how "the little guy" handled him, after all you can never win out over the little voices in your head. The nuns used to call them you conscience,...adios!

-30-

It's almost over !!!! YEAH!

2007-07-20T06:24:00.000-05:00

As most of you probably know my business, managing condominium and homeowners associations, is at it's peak of insanity from springbreak (oh those cute little co-ed's with bathing suits with less material than one of my socks!), then comes the 2.4 child summer vacation families (where are the sleeping pills when you really need them!), and then the "Dinks" ("Double Income,No Kids"). Then in another two or three weeks the little rug rats all go back to school, the boss reminds all you slackers out there that summer is over and it's time to get back to work for the company, AND the realization hits that you have no more vacation time this year, Christmas is on the way, and there are weeks of shopping ahead!
And here in our little patch of paradise we all breath easier. Once again we've extracted all your "disposable cash", unloaded all of our cheap tee shirts on you, fed you all to the tune of about $4,000,000 in sales for my favorite Pub again this year, and are ready to begin repairing and replacing all that you've ruined, broken, trashed, or otherwise "heavily used" on your vacation.
Cinderella is dead (Long live the evil step father,...me!) "Yes m'am, I understand you loved that watch, and I understand you didn't mean to drop it down the crack between the elevator and the eighteenth floor you are on at two am, which by the way is the time my bedside clock says it is,..(sigh),..but I am not going to call a maintenance man, wake him up from a good night's sleep, as you did to me, to go and retrieve your watch tonight. this does not constitute an EMERGENCY, which is what this line is for! Sit there all night, oops, excuse me the rest of the early morning, and the maintenance folks will be in about 7 o'clock,..have a nice night!" CLICK
Or maybe the (Oh shit it's 12 midnight!) ring,...ring "Uh hello emergency line, can I help you?"
"Yes, I'm sitting here in the car at Regatta way with five kids and I can't find my resort, can you give me directions?"
"You want I should just pick a resort and give you directions, or was there one you had made reservations for and are at least seven hours late for "check-in"?"
"OH<>>>it"s the seascape resort<>>>does that help?"
"yes m"am< ..., NOW what's around you?"
"Well I'm in the parking lot of a clock shop,.."
"Excellant we only have one of them in town, I know exactly where you are. So just ease out of the lot and turn right m'am, onto the highway.
"Are you sure it's right?"
"M'am, you are on a divided highway. If you turn left you WILL meet an ugly old Semi bearing down on you at 65 miles per hour, and you will just be a blot on the hiway! Am I clear? Turn right,...please."
"Well I'm not really sure but,..."
"M'am, allow me a stupid question here. Did I call you and offer directions to confuse the shit out of you and your five rug rats at midnight,...or was it you that called me becasue you had no idea where you were?"
"Well, I guess I called you,....but."
"M'am,...there are no "buts" allowed, if you don't let me give you the directions, and follow them quietly, and without attempting or second guessing me,..well let me say this,...when the sun comes up and you look around you, there will not be a 'clock shop', or white sand beaches and azure water gently lapping on them. What you will see is the deep, dark, dank middle of the biggest, most mequito infested, alligators galore swamp that in you're wildest dreams you could not even imagine! Think Burt Reynolds,...Deliverance,...then imagine worse! Are we clear?"
"ok,..(resigned sigh)"
"Good now go up the road to the first traffic light and then continue through it another mile and a half. You will see a HUGE sign that says "Welcome to Seascape, Enter here." Turn and enter,...you are there.
"Are you sure?"
"Or not,....so what you gotta ask yourself is,....do you feel lucky? Goodnight m'am." CLICK
And the there is "operator 10" with the fire alarm monitoring company at 1:45 am ("on a school night" I love that term Lucy :) )every night this week he's called to tell me the alarm panel is having a "temporary communications failure". Now with 235 units and an eighteen story hi-rise and the heightof the tourist season, well that is one that could demand my attention. So I drag my sorry ass out of my warm bed,stagger out to the dining room table where the MOD "Manager On Duty" book lays open (5" looseleaf binder with more outof date information than last months Sunday paper!) I fumble for my glasses, put the finger in the middle of the lense and put them on and start flipping through looking for the Austere Arms Hi-rise data sheet. After thirty or forty pages looking through a greasy fingerprint lense I find it. "Hmmm!" Where the hell is the number of the fire alarm equipment company! Got it,...dialing, waiting,...waiting,...waiting,..."Uh yeah,...All night fire alarm Company, what?"
"Yes sir I got a call from the monitoring company about a Temporary communications failure at Austere Arms in Destin."
"Yeah,...I saw it too, about twenty minutes ago."
" Well I thought I'd call incase the system is down or there really is a fire or something."
"Oh, yeah. Well it automatically reset three minutes later and everythings fine,...bye"
Not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR times this week within three minutes of 1:45 A.M. this has happened! Operator 18 and I have become "buddies" He calls, we chat a bit he pauses after about five minutes and then says, "Looks like it reset, sorry to bother you,...get some sleep. Goodnight."

And so goes life ion the tourist lane. I could write on forever, trust me, these are but a "sound byte" of property management during the summer.
The good news is I get to dump the MOD phone, bag, book and all that shit off on another manager in 1 hour and I'm off the hook until September.
"Thank you for calling and remember, call me after 10 at night with your problems and I'll hunt you down like a dog and you'll wish it was "deliverance",....trust me on that.

-30-

Now I'm pissed!!!

2007-07-05T20:31:00.000-05:00

Ooops!!! seem's like I've used that title before, (sigh) early Alzheimer's I guess,....anyway;
IF you were fortunate enough to be born in Boston, Massachusetts, and IF you are fortunate enough to have been to the Esplanade (HUGE open air grass area with MASSSIVE open Amphitheater, on the 4th of July, then YOU knowwhat I'm saying! From the Maestro himself, Arthur Fiedler for over 40 years, (Shit I was about ten so he must be even older!) There was the 4th of July Concert. Hundred,...no make that THOUSANDS of people waiting all day oon the grass, thier children, thier children's children, shit,...generations of us, all waiting for the Maestro to take the podium of the Boston Pops. An idea concieved in the forties I believe, that music belongs to all ages, and the education into music and it's CELEBRATION are sacred.
With White jackets, in the sweltering heat, the maestro raised his baton,...and it began.
As a young child I don't remember each years whole program, but it ranged from the classical renderings you would expect from a "pick up group" of 60 or so musicians, of the very formal Boston Symphony Orchestra, who were dedicated to bringing a FREE concert to "the people of Boston".
The beginning, the middle, well,...suffice it to say they were there, because I was a kid most of the years I went,...BUT the "END" ,....WOW, WOW, WOW!!!!!!
It began every year with a very quiet few notes, "da,da, da da, da, da, da dadada!," and a complete hush (and I mean an absolutely mind boggling quiet) would fall over the crowd. The volume would pick up a bit,...newbies would applaud, regular Bostonians would look at them in an "annoyed" way,...silently. The music rose, it fell, it laid out a musical story,....Peter Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture!!
Your heart and head knew every note,...your eyes teared up with the understanding of the emotions brought to life through your ears of the battle, the bloody raveges of war, the deaths, the passion, the dedication,...all building to perhaps the greatest classical "orgasm" in man's history.
The struggle of good versus evil, light versus darkness, love versus hate,...every emotion you have ever felt,...all in a single few moments of musical notes on a piece of paper, and interpreted by the Maestro to his 80 plus musicians. The cresendo builds, the passions reach new heights, babies are awes struck, old folks just smile beatifically with thier eyes shut, teens just stare and wonder "How did this get to me?", adults just revel in everything,....and we all know what's coming,...we all just draw in breath and in that one instant hold it,...because we are anticipating.
"BOOM", and another, "BOOM" and yet another, "BOOM". It's the cannons, or more aptly the howitzers of the famous "Yankee Division" from a dozen different areas around the Esplanade as it parallels the world famous Charles River, the silouettes of Harvard University, Boston University, the entire skyline of Boston, all begin to come alive! Really alive.
The cannons boom out , perfectly timed with Tchaikovsky's music, and all of a sudden light erupt, fire works sailing skyward, exploding in dozens of colors, hundreds of shapes, one after the other,...and it continues, in what seems like an hour of absolutely magical blending! The "Pop's" are now simply an adrenilen extension of everything around them. There is nary a note that is not absolute perfection, you know that wherever Peter Tchaikovsky lies in repose he is smiling, he is laughing, and he is sublimely happy forevermore, for the emotion, the passion, and the very soul of his being wrapped in this musical work, is being magnificently, and flawlessly set forth for us,...the people!
The cannons continue, the fireworks trying to shout over them, The "Pops" orchestra above them all,...a cacophony of pleasure and majesty for the ear and mind,
the bells begin, a concerted coordinated execution of every single church bell in the great City of Boston, Massachusetts, they begin to ring, and ring,...and ring! The story of the War of 1812 is coming to it's conclusion. The strong resoult sound of the French Marsailles, trumped and redoubled by the English anthems. The ever building finale is at hand, the "stretch" is at hand, foreworks still blazing, cannons suddenly silent, and the Pops are the final narration of this history,...dah dah dah, ..dah, ..dah, dah, dah, dah,dah,......daaaaaaahhhhh!
If you are not melted, teary eyed, moved , or otherwise euphoric,....well you just arenot human, please leave the room.
The fourth of July on the Boston Espanade, parallel to the Charles River, Harvard and B.U on the left, the skyscrapers of Boston on the right, the clouds of smoke from the fireworks still drifting westward on the wind, and the total outbreak of applause, whislting, screaming and cheering,....it does'nt get any better.
It's what being a "Boston boy" is all about. It's the glue that makes the dreams and the struggles of my immigrant grandparents worth it to my memories of thier struggles for my parents and then me. It's the IV line connecting me to a place, a time, and the memories of a life time in the scant eight to ten minute of the Overture.
It's my roots, whether I'm in Florida, Mexico City, Bermuda, England, Ireland, Spain, Italy, or at sea! The fourth of July is the Bostin Pops, the espanade, the Yankee Division, and Peter Tchaikovsky,....thank you all.
I am proud to be an American, a Bostonian, and a part of a free world!!

Now ask the networks why they botched the shit out of this with "canned music", over the hill "rock stars", and a Scottish emcee.
Must it all be about the "ratings and the money", or is there still room left for simple artistic BRILLIANCE?

-30-

Feast or Famine!

2007-07-04T09:29:00.000-05:00

I can't help it,...here is another blog within two hours!

I started thinking about stress at the end of my last blog (go read the irrational mumblings of "Yoda" in the previous blog) and began to wonder what the major stressors on your life REALLY are, and if, just perchance, we are all carrying the same, but different "loads" that create the very same stressors. I think YES we do, here's why;
We are all human beings, as imperfect as we are, we all have fundamental wants, desires, and needs. Sometimes being deprived of those cause big stress, and sometimes that stress seems almost too much to overcome. For example, food. As the Nun's used to remind us in grammar school constantly, "there are people starving all over the world". Do they feel "stressed", or "hungry"? I venture "hungry" and could give a shit about stress, but that hidden stress will consume them even while they hunger.
How about most of us? Sure we may not be "hungery", but what of the more "civilized", lack of money? Is that not hunger of a different nature, and even if we get more of it don't we tend to "need" even more of it to keep from stressing out? Shit yes!
(Down the "long ago" road) the mortgage payment on the first house we owned was a whopping "$128 a month",...shit, now I pay $1,778 a month! Boy am I glad I'm getting ahead,...but am I really, or just becoming more stressed by higher payments to try and "stay even" with where I "want to be"? Should I re-think where I really want to be? Or how I "want to be" within our world? Would that reduce stress?
Then there is the "double whammy" of working in environments that are ever changing and as an "employee", regardless of all other factors, for the most part you are simply "there" while you can be afforded, while you do not disrupt the income stream and life styles of those above you. If you do, even if they are behind thier own blunders in running a business, you will pay the price,...un-employed! This is the survival of the fittest epitomized. Add another layer of stress that you really can't control,...but you'll try. Everyone should own thier own business, or at the very least believe in thier own ability and worth to do anything and provide for themselves, and remember a "JOB" is an anacronym for JUST OVER BROKE.
How about family? Can they be stressful to you? You bet your butt! Sometimes it's petty, sometimes it's not. One of our strongest emotions is "Love". A loved one going through illness, any type or form of death in a family, they are all sad and large stressors. When it's hard to get your head around a simple word like "WHY?". Or a meddlesome relative, a sister or brother, aunt or uncle whom you love but they just annoy the shit out of you for whatever reason, they are "bubble-headed", or "too freakin' serious", or whatever.
Then there are "friends". A hurtful remark is a stressor, and a lot of the time the person does not even realize they are causing a friend stress. Obligations expected beyond where YOU want to be obligated, committments beyond where they really want to be "committed" It's all there. Some friends stay, some go, and some just never are, but simply acquaintances,... ships passing in the night.
We are our own stressors 24/7.
Maybe the concept of the "soul-mate" is the only way to minimize individual stress. For me it works. The wonderful world of men and women, or the struggle of men and women, all looking to get to the same place,...Nirvana, Heaven, "The Garden of Peace" whatever you choose to call it,...isn't that the ultimate pursuit? Some of my blog friends have found it, some are almost desperate to find it, some have opted to by-pass it because as the song says, "sometimes the pleasure ain't worth the pain", some have had it, lost it and life is consumed with regaining it, others found it, accidentally, lost it and are unsure if they dare want it again.
We are indeed all different, all in our own lives with stressors of every kind,unique to us, and dropped onto this "big blue marble" to make our way, offend not as many as we can, be kind to as many as we can, and lay back and watch the clouds go by above us because they do,...that's thier role here.
-30-

Let's see, where are we going today??

2007-07-04T08:31:00.001-05:00

First and foremost a Happy Birthday to The United States of America!!! It's the fourth of July and aside from the traditional fireworks and cookouts, and obnoxious "party animals" on the loose (also known as Tourists on vacation, worse than the 'Girls Gone Wild' series believe me!)
My wife sais to me the other night "So how about we just go to the movies on the fourth and see the new Robin Williams flick?"
Says me, "That sounds good, then we go get a bite to eat, kick back and relax and read a bit (my weekly trips to Barnes & Noble has developed this stack of books on the coffee table (wonder why they call it that?) that I'm going to have to go get a month in Hospital to even think about catching up on! (Another side note: I used to love to read and went through at least a novel or book a week, now even if I really want to read the book it's like time closes in on me! I'VE GOT TO CHANGE THAT! Reading was one of those things that kept me sane when I was going to work ten hours a day, going to college nights five nights a week, raising a family of three kids, and trying to "get ahead" in this rat race. Now no more college, no three kids to raise, enough(barely)money to stay a foot ahead of the wolves at the door, a new attitude to the rat race (Fuck it! Let the best rat win,...see you at the Pub.) Times change. Now my wife blows through books like they were nothing while I labor to find the time ("Stay out of the Pub and you'd have plenty of time!", says she) oh, well!
If life is a bowl of cherrys,...then why do so may of us get pits?
How does a crazy person get through the forest?...They take the Phsyco-path!

Bad jokes live on!! But on to today. The sun is shining, I'm drinking coffee, sitting in the pit, and really beginning to wonder if God has a Blackberry like us to keep on top of things and all.
I thought of expounding on the upcoming U.S. Presidential election, but then I realized I owe all my Australian friends and "blog-mates" a very sincere, and humble compliment. You guys hold the record for the highest percentage of citizens voting in any country in the world at your elections. The last number I saw was 96%!!! We are lucky is we get more than 45%,...that's just plain sad! I must say there seems to be much more awareness, and "ownership" of your country, and I'm envious. I really get depressed when I realize that more than holf my country men don't seem to give a shit!
OK, now I'm on a roll! Time to announce my platform to run for the President of the United States,...ready?
1. Once you hit 65, you are off the tax rolls. You made your contribution, good or bad, enjoy the rest of your life without the tax man up your butt!
2. We will be doing away with the Internal Revenue Service totally, immediately, in it's place will be an 18% sales tax on everysingle thing you buy, no exceptions, no exemptions. (And guess what? If you can afford 18% on top of the price of a new Corvette,...go for it! I might just step down a notch and get the little, but still sporty Miata. Sort of stay within my means so to speak)
3. All medical care will be at a flat rate of $50 a month per person, deducted from your paycheck and sent to a national fund to administer. No job, no paycheck, no medical care,...you don't care to work, you are on your own. You have a responsibility to the rest of us as wellas yourself. Oh one caveat, if you do get sick then no deduction for that month. The doctors should keep us all healthy, not just hang out and wait for us to get sick!!
4. Every citizen is entitled to a full one hour body massage every other week,....hmmmm I will guarantee the health of everyone goes up, and the sickness rates go down. (SOAP BOX PREACHY TIME: We are all stressed, and the vast majority of people I know haven't a clue how to get rid of stress other than drink(not water and such,..but DRINK!), try and "work it out" with hours of brutal exercise (Yuck! pleasingly plump is a good thing.), or just let it build til you"blow up" i.e. rage blowup, petty blow up (you're not wearing that again are you?), work blow up, "screw it I'll look at it again tomorrow, etc.
This is going around like a balloon you blow up and let go of and it just goes all over the place. But it gave me a great idea for a challenge blog. So here goes:

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH STRESS? But more importantly, how do you know you are stressed? Any physical, or emotional, or "red flag behaviours you are aware of?
Drop me a response so everyone can see, I'm really interested. And if you say you never get stressed,....well you need the full body massage more than I do for sure, 'cuz I know I stress too much!
AND how do you relieve stress,...what works for you, meditation, working out, stuffing yourself with chocolate, a couple more than usual glasses of red, going to bed a lot earlier and sleeping a lot more,...what?

I'll write my own first response.

My humble apologies!!!!!

2007-06-24T19:30:00.001-05:00

I just realized I haven't published a blog since 6/8/2007, I humbly apologoze to all, particularly Lucy, Amber, Tropical, and Jezzy,....how freaking rude of me!!!!
It's my "high season" wherein every cell phone tone, every e-mail alert, and every freakin' bloody sound from my Blackberry is like having your wife break in to the motel room where you are having the most magnificent sex of your entire life with a (to be named later) member of the oppositite sex!!!!
"There is a leak in my unit". "The coackroaches are carrying the baby away!", etc.
Answers: "Ok, I'll get a plumber out there in ten minutes",...and "Sorry your baby is your problem,...but have a nice week at the unit!"
Do I sound,....ah let me see,...ah cynical?,...or perhaps "uncaring"?,.. or maybe tired as shit of your problems? .....DUH,... Yeah!!!
But I'm a professional,(at least that's what the State says!), so I'll deal with your problem!

But that's tomorrow, Monday,...not tonight, Sunday. Could I need a day off tomorrow,...absolutely! Will I take one? Shit NO! why? Because I am a professional, your vacation, your contribution to my account's owner so he can pay the bill to put up with you,...well that's paramount!

Next month my brothers and sisters, all four of them, are going to Ireland on a "tour". GOd I would love to go with them, but there are several "impediments".
#1 - I simply can't afford it. (Hurricane insurance was $5400 this year, not counting the $6,000 deductible!)
#2 - My bloody sister went over last year and she is the "planner" of this family trip. She is cheaper and tighter than the paper on the freaking' wall! I love her, but who gives a shit about saving money on a once in a life time opportuniy to go to Ireland and try and "find" your heritage? My requirements are very simple, A) enjoy the entore freakin' trip , B) at five P.M. we damn well better be in a local pub with Guinness or DEAD!, C) a constant reminder to the "out-laws" and "mutant blood relatives",.. that GOD Himself created Guinness with a little help from Arthur P. Guinness, to keep the Irish from conquering the entre world!
#3 - BECAUSE i AM GOING ON 63 YEARS OLD, THE OLDEST LIVING MEMEBER OF OUR FAMILY, THE MOST "ENAMOURED" WITH OUR IRISH HERITAGE, AND "FUCK IT" YOUR GODDAMN BIG BROTHER!!! In other words I'm not cooling my arse on a bus seat for ten hours a day looking at horny sheep and rock walls to end up at a local hotel for the evening! I have learned hoe to play a bodhran (Irish single goatskin drum, similar to a tamborine) am looking forward to going into a local pub and saying "Well shit, that looks pretty easy,...can I try?" and subsequently "wailing" out a tune and watching the jaws drop just to have "good craic" with the locals.
#4 - Because I've spent fifteen years trying to trace our families heritage to Ireland.

My grand parents, only two whom I've ever known,My Grandmother on my father's sode, and a "fleeting" remeberance of materanl grand mother who passed away when I was four years old, came to the States in the early 1900's. One Grandfather was a "teamster" (a "driver" for Haffenreffer Beer, delivering beer by horse and wagon in the 1920's), his wife a "dressmaker" or seamstress, both with the vision of a son who would be a priest in the Catholic Church and a daughter who would be a nurse. My Aunt became a nurse and was onr for over fifty years. My Dad(Thank the Lord Jesus!! Or I would not be here today!!) left the seminary and married my Mom! (Thanks Mom, more than you will ever know!)
My other grandfather was a "chauffeur" to an EXTREMELY wealthy family for over thirty year who dropped dead thirty days before I was born, and whose family was "vacated" from the three bedroom home they had and the three bedroom "cottage" they had on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, and were left with whatever they had (fortunately they bought a home "off " the estate. My maternal grandmother lived four years after her husband, or died when I was 4.
Sorry folks much too personal stuff!!
Any way time has run out and I have to check back into reality time. More later , (if you are interested)

Tommmy Irish, (Mr, Guinness)
-30-

To my dear friend Lucy,...here's why.

2007-06-08T20:52:00.000-05:00

So why is this to Lucy? Easy, because she is insightful, has a real heart, and basically because we will never meet, so we can be totally honest with each other with no expectations.

Some people say money buys happiness, some say it buys comfort and "the extras",...well follow my tale of the world I live and work in and you decide,....what does money really buy?

Several years ago a greedy developer built a "luxury hotel facility" people flocked to buy in to it only to find out they only bough a three bedroom, three bath, "room", and the rest of the building, it's swimming pool over looking the Gulf of Mexico, it's elevated hot tub also poverlooking the azure waters of the Gulf, and the 165 yards of pure white sand beach were also licienced to about three hundred other folks. So what do you do? You hire a "top gun" attorney and you fight it!!!

Cut to several years later, you put the developer in bankruptcy, you bought his entire "hotel" compplex from him, and you have a luxurious 48 unit Condominium with a five story skylighted open Atrium, a pool overlooking the Gulf to kill for, 165 feet of private beach on the Gulf, a gated underground parking garage, and the peace and quiet of Nirvana as your weekend get-a-way!

But the guy your $1.7 million beat for this is as vindictive as a spurned lover, as "crazy" as a loon, and as cold and calculating as a serial killer on steroids!

Now "the Beach"! Ah there is a real conundrum. The deed to the property says it extends "southerly to the Gulf of Mexico, meanders westward to a point of XXXX, and then northerly to a point of XXXX" Is that the definition of a "private beach"? Some say so, others don't. But the Supreme Court of Florida will rule on that in August.

Now the "solid money" says ththe result will be the creation of a "public Beach" ring around the entire state of Florida, the rationale being that the American Indians were here hundreds of years before the white man and that they all went "to the beach" and lived together in peace and "recreated" together at the beach, i.e. therefore the precedant is that all beaches are "public" and can not be owned by individuals, Right or Wrong? I'm not going there! BUT IF that is true, the reality of the United States judical system is that there must be "fair compensation" given to those whose claim on the "Property" may be legitimate. Ergo if you can "claim:" you own the beach, and you can afford a "good" attorney,...well probability is you will get a 7 figure (American for MILLIONS of dollars) settlement for you "deed right".

Is that a perscription for a good "cat fight of the wealthy"? you bet your bippy!!

So signs go up indicating everything is a "PRIVATE PROPERTY - NO TRESPASSING", private "security companies" are hired to "patrol" the beaches and expel interlopers" and trespassers. Now the once calm beaches of happy families and couples become "war zones". Confrontations, "911" calls bring Sheriffs to arbitrate everyone's "Right to be Right", tempers flair, idiots who lack law degrees interpret the law, legal and "real" defenses are set in place.

I'm enstrusted to determine and mark the "mean high tide line" (Shit! I've failed Statisics 101 three times because statisitcs are simply "mental masturbation" any way you cut it! "Figures lie, and liars figure!" ) Where I stick the stake in the sand, becomes the "ground zero" of this battle!!

Mr. Guinness's solution to this "conundrum"? I go to the "private beach" tomorrow, set up a comfy chaise lounge, make sure there is enough ice for my cooler of "preferred malt beverages" and wait to see what happens, A day at the beach, a few cool "brewski's" and a new and higher level of respect for "going above and beyond" on my day off even!!

Whatever happens I will wind up being called as a "witness" , or "deposed" in a whole day waste of time thing. Do I get anything for this?....NO! Do I really care which way the decision goes?...No. So what the hell?

What we have proved is that age old "ditty",..."money talks,...bullshit walks!"
If you have enough money, enough "balls" to let the issue "percolate" to the forefront, and have enogh "friends" to support you,...well...my guesstimate is that you will prevail!!

I should have gone to Harvard Law School, I'd be sunning my sorry ass on the foredeck of my 50 foot Catamaran as we speak!!

-30-

"Hot time summer in the city,...back 'o my neck getting burned and gritty"

2007-06-06T06:15:00.002-05:00

"...all around me people on the sidewalk...."
Yeah it's summer in Florida, the return of the indigenous "Southern Redneck" to the area once again. And it seems they are back with a vengence this year!
Some thoughts as they randomly pop into my head walking about or TRYING to drive on my roads;
"Shit,..one guys bathing suit could be made into at least ten of the female type worn by 12 year old Brittany wannabes!"
"At almost $3 a gallon for gasoline how does the asshole 17 year old afford to run the "monster truck" in the lane next to me with, judging by the sound and blood dripping from my ears, a stereo system which could create tsunami waves if turned up on a beach!"
"And I can't think of anything more disgusting than some teeny boppers Mom in the string bikini with a see-through mesh beach coverup coming into the restaurant for dinner together! You lost that 15 year old figure four kids ago! Try some personal pride and dress like the 40 something year old that you are!"
"Oh,.. and let's not forget the entire families on vacation. "please check your brains at the door, your Pastor is not here." Rather than tables in a number of cases troughs would be more appropriate!"
"Yup! The American Medical Association was 110% correct, the majority of Americans are obese. Shit they must "roll" some of those kids around."
"Ok, I'm an old fart, and the backwards ball caps drove me nuts, but now the cockeyed angles are even worse. I'm not sure if the retard wearing it is just stupid, auditioning for a part in the next drive by shooting in LA, or hasn't got a clue and thinks it's "kool"."
"Does any manufacturer of automobiles make anything smaller than a 'honkin'' SUV or Hummer look-a-like anymore?"
"What is the thing with Oysters? They are slimey, raw, carry at least two hundred different kinds of bacteria, some of which can REALLY make you a sick puppy, and are the eqivalent of eating giant boogers! Yet these folks slurp 'em down like nothing. In fact Busters has revived an old tee shirt the sold years ago it says "Shuck'em, Suck'em,...Bark like a dog!" (Duh! How lame is that?"
"A brand new beautification program on the entire three mile strech of highway including pedestrian crosswalks, strategically placed and calulated to the inch by highly paid traffic engineers, and with new flashing strobe alerts in the road itself carefully placed to hit the oncoming vehicle drivers right in the eye and get thier attention to watch for the crossing pedestrians. Three months they've been in , every day I drive the road, and not once (And I am serious!) have I seen a pedestrian even step into the crosswalk, or the flashing light go off (wonder what color they are?). After that much money spent just let us locals "bag a few" stupid folks who probably think a crosswalk is some new piece of art deco sidewalk art!!
It's time to go to work, (oops! take my high blood pressure medication first, lest I "pop" a vein just driving to my office today!)
Gotta get back in the habit of writing more often.
Sorry for the rant.

Big meeting this morning, the owner wants to discuss "contract fees" with us lowly "providers of service" (Roughly translated this is a meeting where he pisses and moans about losing money and how the rates are going to have to go up at least 25% so we better get our clients ready for the increase starting in September.) Guess the easiest way is the "client aerobics" approach. You get your entire Board of Directors together, run a particularly greuling meeting, then suggest we all need a little break and stretch period before going further. You ask them all to stand, turn around and bend over, then you quickly put the memo announcing the increase on the top of the agenda and make a motion to accept it!)

TTFN
-30-

2007-06-06T06:15:00.001-05:00

Three day week end,...YEA, Memorial Day - Remember:

2007-05-27T12:07:00.001-05:00

Remember all the men and women that gave thier lives in a lot of cases, for this country and YOU.
Remember all those who have gone before you, given up so much for you, and made it possible for you to even be here.
Remember that you have an obligation to everyone of them to make something of yourself, in some meaningful way, and to pass on to others as much as those before you.
Remember what the colors of the United States Flag mean, red for the blood we shed for freedom and equality, white for the hope for a better tomorrow for everyone, and blue for the resolve and strength to be true in every way to the goals and ideals of this country.

END of SOAP BOX!

Now for some fun,

One of the blogs I read regularly is called "Analyzing Jordan", and aside from her really powerful sense of independance and committment to things she has a really "soft side" and let's her feelings show from time to time, for that I thank her, it makes getting to know her so much easier, because real people are hard to find!
Anyhow I digress. Jordan did a five question challenge and I popped her an e-mail and said I'd try it, soooo she sent me five questions, and all I could say initially was "Gulp!", but after considerable reflection here we go: (p.s. If any of you want the challenge, different questions of course, but remember you have to answer them all , honestly, and in your blog then just e-mail me and I'll put five together for you. guinness@mchsi.com )

1. "If you could go back and re-do any one thing in your life, what would it be?"
BANG! Right between the eyes on the first question! Well after considerable wrestling with almost 63 years of "stuff" under the dam I guess I'd have to say it would have been to have completed College at the usual age, not twenty some odd years later than usual at 42 with a full blown family in place already. I missed out on my kids growing up because I was in school four nights a week, studying the other three and most of the weekend, and working a fulltime and a part time job, and otherwise deluding myself that it would allow me to make a better life for them.
Like Rocky said, "I cudda been a contender!" Fact really is most college educations at the usual age are totally wasted, BUT they do open doors other than blue collar labor, or white collar slavery, but alas, I'm me and at this point in my life I'm running 12 simoultaneous "businesses", directing 5 multi-million dollar law suites on behalf of my clients, still have my health and time for a pint of Guinness every day and time to be a friend,...a real friend. Would a 38 foot Sailboat, a summer place in the Rockies, a Ferrarri in the garage beside the Jaguar sedan for those days of "oh what the hell" be nice? Sure, but then me thinks I'd have to be "playing a role" instead of being just plain good ole me with a pint and shoulder for those who needed it and just want to talk.

2. What was the strangest thing that ever happened to you?
Hmmmmm! This one caused a lot of thought, like weeks worth, and even now I'm torn between three or four things, but I'll pick one,
I guess it was the first time I really ever acknowledged the presense of God in my life. Even now I remember it so vividly. I'm not a "holy roller" or a preachy kind of the severe "born again types", nor even a guy that spends a ton of time in church or for that matter praying. I'm sort of the reformed Catholic type. Sorry, getting away from topic :( But anyhow, when I was in the U.S.Navy back in the 60's, stationed on an Aircraft Carrier which was built in 1942 and survuved WWII, on an Admirals Staff I remember one evening I was up hanging around the Admirals Bridge. There were two bridges, one for the Captain of the Ship and a mirror image duplicate for the Admiral, they were one over the other with the Admirals being on a higher level. It really was more of a Gallery for the Admiral and the "brass" to hang out during the day and watch over the exercises and "ops" we ran, but they'd all bail out after six at night and then some of us, very few mind you, would just go hang out and watch the ocean. We were coming back across the North Atlantic Ocean in May, and trust me if you've seen the movie "The Perfect Storm" then that is absolutely positively exactly what the North Atlantic is like during the spring. Sitting on the Bridge watching the seven or eight story high bow of this bigger than a football field "airport" with almost 4,000 human beings on it plunge down into the ocean, seeing water come over the bow and the spray just slamming the windows of the Bridge which was at least nine stories high is a demonstration of true power! I got to thinking about the whole world 4/5's of it covered by water, the vulnerability of this behemoth ship just bobbing around like a cork, the beating of the hull with thousands, nay make that millions of gallons of sea water, the dark sky, the white caped waves towering above where I stood by twenty or thirty feet, the motion of the ship down into the trough, and back up the side. It must have been like being in a bucking bronco's head and watchiing the world go by at the rodae when the gate opened. But at a moment in that chaos, I just came to believe there is a God, and his power is omnipotent, but his passion and caring just keeps me in his hand and safe.

3. "You wrote a book about your life , what is the title?
No contest here, that's easy. It would be titled, "Learn, Love, Lead, ...and be humble!"
I don't see myself as deigned for the Mount Olympuses of business, careers, or being able to say "Google me, I'm out there." But to the contrary I see myself like a sponge, learning and trying every single thing on the Buffet of Life, I see myself being true and loving to a single woman, loving and being eternally proud and grateful for all the inner beauty of my (our) children. And in general being "All that you can be", as they used to say in the Army recruiting commercials for my community, my church and my friends. That means living my beliefs and leading by my example, and letting God figure out what I missed and letting me know. (If he wants too.)

4. "If you were told you had to leave the country in three days and never return, what would you do with that time?"
Wow, that's deep! I guess I'd be sure I had as many addresses and telephone numbers in my Blackberry as possible, spend some time in New York and San Francisco, and of course my native Boston. Catch a few Symphonies, eat like a pig at my ten most favorite restaurants, and be sure I had a really awesome souped up computer and lots of batteries,...then I'd probably spend some time figuring out where I'd like to go. In all probability it would boil down to three places, Ireland, England or Australia. Then I'd get a good nights rest before I went. I'm always up for an adventure and really hate to look back when there is so much of the world I've yet to see.

5. "If you could be a historical figure from American history...who would you choos, and why?"
Another killer question! Well I guess I would have liked to have been the noted Thomas Jefferson. The founders of this country were unbelievably awesome patriots, and in my humble opinion were so unselfish and forward thinking that what they wrote, and the framework of this nation has for survived for over 200 years. I think Jefferson in particular as the actual "wordsmith" of our Constitution and Declaration of Independance had the opportunity to think for everyone. Not just those in 1776, ar before, but for you, me and all of those to come after us. My only regret is that we have strayed from that type of selfless thinking and turned into a much more self centered, egotistical world where in actuality "It's all about ME!"
We are a great country, but are slowly being whittled down to just a "rich" country, not necessarily a caring, open, one. Sure the "Irish need not apply" signs were right alonside the "Colored need not apply" ones. But for all of that we are still growing and as long as we stay vigilant to the ideal that "everyone can be great, all they need is the ability to pursue life, liberty and freedom, free from oppression, free from threats, and open to the simple first line of the Declaration of Independance, that indeed, 'All men are created equal', we will prevail!"

Thanks Jordan, great thinking exercise, and a kick in the pants back what is important.

-30-

It's been a while, ...I apologize.

2007-05-23T06:14:00.000-05:00

Yeah, the old blogging got away from me for a while. But I'm back.
I reached a bit of a "pressure point" where a lot of things began to close in on me at the same time. Sort of like trying to put ten pounds in a five pound box, ..you know, so something had to give while I resolved the rest, and my blog took the hit this time.
I still love the work I do (My wife says get a hobby as well as I tend to "stop by" the office on Saturday and Sunday for something or another.)But the "compensation package" needed adjustment so that occupied a great deal of what's left of my grey matter getting adjusted. I really was intent about it so I endeavored to cover all the bases at the same time. A) I secured another job, same field and all different company, for more money, but not the total I wanted (should say 'had to have' since my "hurricane" insurance premium went from $2400 to $5400 this year!). The new "job" being secured, I set about opening discussions with a VERY serious backer who has an open checkbook and is really bugging me to set up my own firm and he'll guarantee to underwrite it for a minimum of three years, no strings attached! "You say the word we'll open an office tomorrow morning." Then no "request for a raise" would be complete with out seriously dealing with your own current employer. (Did I say that by now I was reaching stress point Alpha? That's the place where three hours of solid sleep a night is all you get, eating is a non-essential part of your life, and one day runs into another and it's like the old cartoon of Mickey Mouse as the Socerer's Apprentice trying to empty the water and getting farther behind.)
The last thing I had to do was plead my case. Sooooo, I did what I do best, I sat down and wrote an entire case for myself, about eight full pages, single spaced, (yes and even spell-checked). I pointed out, in as non arrogant fashion as I personally could muster, that it had been a full year to the day since I took the position with the company, had not whinned about anything they threw at me, had performed at a peak level, and was now in the position of deciding whether I would re-new MY contract with them for another year. (It's a job dummy, not a personal contract for services!)
Well that's where I've drawn the "line in the sand"! It is a personal contract as far as I'm concerned. It finally dawned on me that the old joke I've told for years that the word "JOB" is an anacronym for JUST OVER BROKE, is really true. Does your employer REALLY want you to get a head, make lots of money, live a much more comfortable life, etc.,etc,? Hell NO, you might decide to change things and ask for more money or something. Well at 62 years young I said "what the hell, give it a shot, you got another job in your pocket, a backer for your own business, and it's only three more years to full Social Security Retirement and an extra $2,000 a month and unlimited earnings with no penalty or reduction from the Social Security. Shit I could always just bag groceries and live on peanut butter and crackers for three years if all hell breaks loose!
So I penned the final copy, told my firm I would "re-new my contract" for a 27% salary increase, a 100% re-imbursement of my "Crackberry" expenses monthly, and a full time Administrative Assisstant within three months at my new office. I dropped off the letter to my boss with a recommendation that immediate reading might be very appropriate as I was a serious person when it comes to this kind of thing.
Six days later I get an e-mail telling me that we will "schedule your review for a week from Friday". Not to be to "obnoxious" I stopped by her office and said "You know next Friday will be fine if you like, but I must remind you that will in fact be the end of the two week period since I've given you my letter , which by the way will also serve as my two week notice in the event we can't come to terms. I just noted that would be cutting herself very short, in fact leaving absolutely no time to transition my accounts to a new Manager,but...whatever day she wanted was fine, but also noting every second of discussion was an absolute waste of time, and falling on deaf ears if they were not at or above my terms for re-newal. Not a threat, just simply the facts, as I already had other offers in hand and that could be started without so much as a ripple on the pond.
The next morning I recieved a call wanting to know if we could move the time up to "tomorrow" instead of Friday. "Certainly, what time would you like?" was the reply. Anyway long story short the next day I'm sitting in her office and we start with the typical "Well I've been looking over the work you've done for the past year and I wanted to discuss a few shortfalls I've noticed with you."
"That's fine, but lets deal with the bottom line so we don't wste your time or mine."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm not here to discuss my work of the past year, unless it pertains to the work in the next year, which of course may be a totally moot point if my salary and other requirements are not met,..you do understand?"
" Um,...ah, yes, but.."
"Excuse me this time. Either you are going to meet my terms or not, and here is a compensation survey done nationally and by region for my position as a 'portfolio' manager of properties. As you can see on page three this firm, as well as most other local firms are approximately 47% below the regional average, and the national average. And this survey is only three days old. Part of what I have tried to give you is a very complete package, as up to date as possible, for all the prevailing factors to help you make your decision. So I guess the larger question that must be answered first is are you going to meet my requests to at least the minimum amounts I requested or not? If you are we can continue, if not then I will be leaving and going to my favorite Pub for a cold Guinness and to let my clients know that you will be contacting them shortly with notice of a new manager for them so please take me off thier "speed dial" as I will begin work Monday for a new firm, and my decision not to re-new my contract with you was for specific reasons which if they want I would be very happy to expand upon."
"Yes, yes, we are going to meet you request for everything, the 27% salary increase, the telephone costs, and the Assisstant in two months, OK?"
"That's wonderful, and I expect it to begin today, is that correct?"
"Yes, yes,(pulling form out of drawer) In fact I'll fill it out right now and take it over to payroll, is that satisfactory?"
"That's fine,I'll just go to get a bottle of water and be back and we can discuss whatever you'd like......

And so it went. Of course I told my key accounts what was happening in advance, personally told them to do absolutely nothing as the firm had to come to it's own conclusion as to my value to them. I told several of my associates who wished me well and told me to call them when I got settled at the new job as this firm would never pay that much, and reminder me of the $75 Christmas bonus, and several of them who had been told profitability was down and they were going to be unable to give any raises this year.
Long story short when I emerged from my bosses office after an hour it was 5p.m., but to the last man everyone was hanging out, peeking over thier cubicles as I opened the door.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow! Good night!"

Now I see a little light in the office, I've given them hope, put the firm on notice a bit, and brought in a whole new thought process. "You don't 'work' for anyone but yourself, and if you work hard you can make it happen for you too,...stand up and be your own boss for a change, not "just an employee".

-30-

Saturday, Geritol, sex, and life!!!!

2007-05-12T18:09:00.000-05:00

Bizarre heading, you bet, bizarre writer!
I'm sitting here on a Saturday evening watching a history channel documentary on riveting iron together with 1940's film clips. Cool!!!
I've been out working all day, stopped at my boss's office yesterday and told her the dollars I put in my memo were NOT negociable and that I viewed my mempo as notice,...either a reminder if they meet my demands, or...goodbye that day of my review. I reminded her that if they could not meet my criteria as of next friday the 18th, it meant GOODBYE by 5pm that day. I indicated I would stillbe able to transition my accounts if she would be ghonest and the next week could be productive,...or not, her choice. She continues to hardline!!
Oh well, not my problem as I have all the paperwork filled out for the new comapny, have to go take a pee test (give me a break,...62 and a half and you think I may be on drugs!!!! DUH!! I'm 62 because I don't do drugs!!! Me and my liver have a threesome going with Aurthur P. Guinness, not Mary Jane "how you doing?".
Tried Mary J once ,...so whats the big deal? I'll take three legal pints of Guinness and be there a little later, but a little more legally!
Rambling now,...time to sign off. Analyzing Jordan sent me a question challenge and I'll try and answer that tomorrow.
Be cool!
Mr>G

"The die is cast!"

2007-05-06T12:48:00.000-05:00

Trivia #1 : Who said "The die is cast" and what were the circumstances. (And no it was not me playing Monopoly!)

Oh well, off to newer and more exciting things. I guess I'll try and "talk through" my employment decision with you and see what you think.
On the one hand I really and truly love what I do. It is absolutely different and "stat" everyday, from the mundane of a broken sprinkler head, or some drunk kicking down the front door of a unit at 3:30 in the morning, to like yesterday at a meeting I had telling about twenty-five folks they spent about $2.0 million apiece on a gorgeous building two years old that needs at least $4.0 million worth of repairs to make it another six years, or it may very well just wash into the sea. (And when it was all over they thanked me for my research, strategy, and presentation and said, "do whatever you need to do to fix things and we'll cover it", God I love my job.)
It's what a friend of mine called "Irish Diplomacy" , the art of telling someone they are going to hell and leaving them looking forward to the trip!
Anyhow, It's "crunch time" again. I told the owner of the Company that just offered me a much better compensation package, a full time Administrative Assisstant, and 75% coverage for all my benefits on thier nichel, plus a workload of HALF the number of Associations I manage now! Should have taken the job,....damn it!

No I'm not dead, ....just incredibly busy.

2007-05-04T06:58:00.000-05:00

The convolution of events is a really strange thing. I'm pressed for time but I'll try and do a quick one for you.
A. Next week, May 8th to be exact, marks my first full year with my present company. I've written a five page , single spaced review of the company for them. (#1 FACT, I work for myself and my family, NOT a company, ergo they need, and I oblige, to be "reviewed" each year as they do to me, to determine whether they are worth the continued delivery of my services, or not.
B. I've been approached by a man with big money (in fact by two different men!) who are willing to set up a company for me to run in the same business as the Company I am currently employed by. No strings, full access to a million dollars for start up and no return expectations for three years minimum and then a full return structured over five more years including thier total exit from the company and I recieve full ownership!
C. Yesterday while attending a symposium on Hurricane and insurance preparation and planning I get a phone call from another Company in the same business who wants to take me to lunch. (I met with these fols about five months ago and they indicated they would like me to entertain coming over to thier firm "down the road") Sure, I'l go,(beats the hotel's Purina Conference attendee food) So long stiry short they want me as well. My own big office, my own personal Administrative Assisstant, half the number of accounts I currently handle, more money and better benfits, bonuses for any accounts I bring or that follow me unsolicited to the new company, 90 review, and a full general managership when the guy above me (who is late 60's and looking medically not too good) retires. Plus full autonomy of operations!

Ok, friends, so be side a lot of analysis and soul searching this weekend, any suggestions? I'll expand on my thoughts tomorrow or Sunday afternoon. (I have an Annual meeting tomorrow that will take about 4 hours so it might be sunday.

Mr. Guinness

Confused? Here's the solution!

2007-04-19T06:38:00.000-05:00

For those who jumped in and are totally confused you need this road map.
Start reading four blogs back at "The Phases of Life", then read forward, and in retrospect I really confused even me with the Phase Numbers and the Part numbers, but you'll get the drift.
No i'm not depressed (much), nor have I lost it, I just started one of my "stream of consciousness things" and just let it flow. Usually my once a week, and occasionally twice a week were fine but these four parts took on a different twist and all rolled out in about 24 hours.
Back for another spin at lif in a day or so, schedule is incrediblly full the next few days.
Mr. G.

Phase 5 - "Hot damn,...I'm still here! Are you awake honey?"

2007-04-16T11:54:00.000-05:00

This one is a stretch for anyone who is not there yet. So it's perhaps more hopeful, or maybe the reverse, of what it really will be, but for you, dear readers, I will try.

Now back to today, Phase 5 - "Hot damn,...I'm still here! Are you awake Honey?"
Humor, inject more humor, life is fun!
It's like the guy who goes to the rest home to visit his Dad, who is 97 and asks the nurse how he's doing, and if there are any new "meds" (medicines) he's taking. She looks at the chart and says "Nothing but the Viagra his Doctor started him on last week. The guy immediatly goes nuts! "What? are you crazy, putting a 97 year old man on Viagra? His heart couldn't take it!"
The nurse smiles and says" You don't understand the Viagra works fine and keeps him from rolling over and falling out of bed and getting hurt, we give it to all the older men."

As I go through life I wonder more about this phase than any other. This is the phase that is internalized more than you'll ever know now. It's the Phase that is characterized by the questions. The ones you never want to ask, let alone know the answers to them.
For example, "Am I here by myself, and where is my "soul mate"? And after all these years can I do for myself any more or just become a burden on others? Where are those who should be visiting me, or do they expect me to buy a Harley and run over to thier place? What is there to eat, it all tastes the same now. And either there is something wrong with me and they are not telling me, or I'm just like a worn out tire and will just keep being til I finally just burst or go flat for the final time and I can't be patched anymore.

Is waking up every day really a whole day, sometimes it's in the middle of the night sometimes it's the middle of the afternoon, who knows anymore,...am I really happy I'm still here?

My "soulmate" is either gone or they won't tell me what's happening to her, I never see her anymore, I never get to hold her anymore, I never even get to touch her hand, or her face, or her hair. Where is she?

Was the sun out yesterday?

How long am I going to be here God?

Time for another nap,...................

Post Script:

Oh shit! Just had a dumb thought. Many of you who read this are probably much younger than I (62), except you Doug, but I won't tell. So when I get to Phase 6 of life the, "The End", how will you know, not that it will matter to me then. But I suppose somewhere in my little ego there are several cells vibrating and saying, "Gee, I hope they do know,...and I hope they at least cared."
So here's the drill. If I "Go" you will know because a month will go by without a single rant, rave, or other "blog". I will write a note for my wife, my kids, or whomever and tell them exactly how to open my computer, open my "blog", enter the proper code word and passwords, and then instruct them that they are to simply write a one line entry and hit "publish". Here is the entry I'll never see, and I hope you don't either, for another 40 years or so;

".....and so he goes."
-30-
Mr. Guinness

(Maybe you can spare a minute and reply, tell my wife, my kids, or whomever just write them "He loved you too,...and so it goes." Thank you.)

Phase 4 - "The Golden Years"

2007-04-15T13:37:00.000-05:00

And as Frank Sinatra croons in the background,..."regrets,..I've had a few,..but then again too few to mention", we begin our journey called Phase 4.
"Stay in a small tight group, please campers, this is all new territory to me as well, and I don't want anyone lost in this place"

Now why do we call it the "Golden Years"? Easy 'cause if you ain't got the gold you ain't gonna see them years! (And I'm serious!)
Up 'til now, the Phase 2- Carefree, wonderful period provided the "Gatorade" to keep out spirits up, give us a boost through tough times, kick our ego's back up about ten notches and to give us the opportunity to try those things we did back then and tell everyone else (ooops! I mean "lie to everyone else") about what we had done in life. ("Man back at College we used to go through fifteen cases a beer a weekend, just me and my buddy! And talk about women,....they was like 'One a day multiple brand vitamins', oh yeah, I remember it all clear as a bell.")That was the fuel of Phase 3.
Now entering Phase-4, you get up , look in the mirror and can admit to yourself, that you are full of shit.(This begins about 60 years of life*) But just like a lot of "mutations" I talked about in the Phase I & II blog,... you are ok with it.
(*Note we have changed from "age" to "life" because now that's what it is, "A life examined")
From thirty to sixty, that is the real "ME" period. You have all you can do to take care of "ME" and the "ME's" you've come to call your "dearest and nearest". By 60, your parents are usually gone, (and to quote the great Kurt Vonnegat who died yesterday in New York)..and so it goes. Your kids are "grown" and somewhere in Phases 2 or 3, depending on how you and your "soul-mate" planned your lives,...and so it goes. You're "best friends from Phase 2 & 3, well,... some have died, some are on they're third, fourth or fifth marriage, and the ones you still know, they are,...well, just like you,...and so it goes.
Now you are in the real "what do I want out of life" era, and the answer is two-fold. First you want respect. Not the Hollywood Star respect, not the Secretary General of the U.N. respect, not the limo and chaueffer respect,...just the respect of being a human being who got to this point and has tried very hard to provide for thier parents, siblings, children, neighbors and friends, and above all your "soul mate". (Quick aside; "Soul Mates" are hard to find, hard to really lose despite the human propensity to be f***ing stupid and do f***ing stupid things to each other. I believe a "soul mate" is like life, you are only going to get one. It may take you a number of times to find them, but I believe in a God who will make it happen for you, you will find them,...but YOU have to recognize them!)
Now this period is when the human body wears out, or begins to. A guy you played golf with last year starts showing up at the pub in a wheel chair, if you go to church you begin to see folks you knew ten or fifteen years ago that gave you shit about going to church every Sunday, now they are there in the third pew every week,... and they pray hard. You stop for your daily "pint" and casually ask about a guy that you hadn't seen for the past month or so,.. "Oh he had a stroke,..he's in re-hab now. They say he's doing ok, you'd hardly notice how much he slurs and his right arm will come back to about 60% the doctor told his wife."
At first you'll get depressed because that could be you, and you know it! But then after six months to a year you get to be alright with that too,...and so it goes.
But your world is shrinking. Some are dying off, some are moving away to the "retirement" parts of the country, some are moving to the "retirement homes" of the country, and you are simply looking to survive. You don't care about the new "technology" any more. You haven't a clue what is new in the "music scene", you re-discover so many things of your Phase 1 - Growing up era,like playing cards, reading a book, and just plain talking with other people. You can sit and write a "blog" and be honest, because that's just who you are, how you feel, and what you believe,....and so it goes.
You are still tied to this earth by "the Gold" so it becomes much more important. Decisions have to be made by some as to whether to buy the perscription for the blood pressure, or enough food to eat until the week end. Some hunker down over thier "portfolios" every day to be sure they never have to make those kind of decisions, and yet others just "start a new life".

Starting a new life is easy at this age. It's almost like Popeye says "I am whats I am". It's too late to make many significant changes in your lot in life, the respect you wanted "back then" is non-existant, if you want to wallow in "pity parties" fine, so what the hell,...start a new life.
Go to work in some little job doing some little something, for some little pay. You get some BIG respect there. Go volunteer and help somebody else who can't. There ain't no bigger boost to self respect than that, and after all self respect is the most important kind.
While "old farts" cuddling up on the couch is replulsive to some I defy anyone to tell me, or anyone else, that "cuddling" is not the best medicine for anything, anytime, anywhere, at any age.
Kick back and explore the world, maybe you can't actually go to the far reaches of the world, but I'd trade the beauty of going there via a book, a film, or a travel-log at that age,... over a case of "Montezuma's revenge" in the mid sixties!
But then again, remember how a sun rise looked, or a sunset, or azure waters lapping on a snow white beach, or a little hummingbird just hanging in mid-air, or the gentle warmth of the sun in the late afternoon, and the gentle breeze on the porch in the evening. Of course you do, you now know thier importance in life, so see the sunrise, the sunset, the beach, the hummingbird, and feel the breeze. This is the YOU time of your life.
The "you time" is way different from the "me time" the you time is unselfish, honest and best when shared with that "Soul Mate", a son or daughter, or a grandchild, or just with a friend.
It is a period of transendental movement for you. You will transend yourself, your world, and your age. You will find that you have indeed found what man has sought for the ages.
You have found,... the meaning of life, and you have lived it.

Phase 5 - "Hot damn,...I'm still here. Are you awake Honey?" will be published on Wednesday and will conclude this "blog".
Back to being just a "blogger" later in the week.

-30-

The Phases of Life - Part II

2007-04-15T10:59:00.000-05:00

Ok, for anyone who is not too depressed or who has not slashed thier wrists yet, or running down the street yelling "Not me! It ain't gonna happen to me!" from reading yesterday's Phases of Life Parts I & II here we go for today.
Oh, just as a very brief summary of parts I & II in case your scroll button quit working, it's simple. "Yes Virginia,...we do eat dessert first, (or do we?)"

Phase III - or the "You better get your shit together" period. This starts out in the 35 to 45 year period. The darling little angels you've spawned seem to want to exercise thier rights to Phase I of thier own life, the carefree, wonderful period. But you in your "been there, done that" style, (substitute the word "wisdom")try and save them from themselves, but guess what? They won't listen! Does that really come as a shock to you? It shouldn't. But I digress.
Soon you learn that adding sufficient antiacid tablets, (the damn food in this world is getting crazy, it must be the Jalepeno's and other foreign stuff) , Ibuprofhen for the aches, and the "new" regimen of an 81mg. "baby" asprin daily, added to your Phase I multi-vitamin, B-complex and 1500 mg. Vitamin C (time released of course) are just barely getting you through most days. But then either one of your "friends at work", or "the guy down the block" drops dead. You sluff it off. But your wife doesn't. All of a sudden you start noticing the menu at home changes a bit. "Honey, are we out of butter? How come this "canola spread" thing is here, and why did they cut back on the number of rolls in that little frozen tin thing?" Or it may seem like you need a Safari guide to find the red meat on your plate, or you begin to wonder why you are growing gills after what seems like fish every night for a year!
Then one night, after dinner, as you loosen your belt a notch, ("No I'm not getting fat, the damn leather is shrinking, the belt is ten years old, but it's my favorite!) Then you lean back in your recliner to see if both your socks are the same color. (Hey! It happens, it's dark in the morning. When you're getting dressed for work at 5a.m., because you have that damn report that has to be done today, you become acutely aware that turning on the light would most likely cause a sensation like a pillow hitting you in the side of the head and a sound, a sort of garbled angry mumbling from the creature of the black lagoon sort of sound, coming up from under the covers where you thought your loving wife, mother of your children, your beautiful idol of 20 or so years, your partner in everything, had leaned over from and sweetly kissed you good night last night!
Anyway as you try and convince yourself that it's just the light that makes one sock look blue, and the other black, your wife comes in and says something like, "You know our health insurance covers a physical every year for you and you haven't had one since we've been married." (We are now entering the "selective era"of Phase III, that's when wife begins to think hubby is going deaf, and hubby has mastered the focused concentrated stare of a the most skilled diamond cutter about to make the final cut, on whatever is blathering from the television) He grunts. (not being sure if it's a "yes" or a "no" grunt, wife continues) "You know you're not getting any younger" Now he's forced to reply, "Ok, so call and make me an appointment." (That takes care of that,...he thinks.) a week or so later he's getting instructions on getting blood work done before the appointment and things like a colonoscopy before the appointment, as he's getting toward fifty, oh and after the initial physical there will most likely be a "stress test" and electrocariogram. this is when the Phase 3 becomes full blown, and they try and kill you on a damn treadmill!
"Shit, what if I'm not ok?" "Shit, what if I am the next "guy at the office"!" And the panic mode sets in! You're lawyer gets space in your speed dial, as does your stock broker, your banker, and your insurance guy,...what was his name? You've got them all jumping like a chicken on a hot griddle and you haven't even got the blood drawn yet. That's why this phase is the "You better get your shit together" period.
Three months later,...you are going back to church, the beer in the fridge is of the "Light" variety, the produce drawer is also crammed full of every form of rabbit food on this earth, and you now seem to see the "cholesterol count" on the label before you even see what's in the can. But you are still a doubter,..."He's just putting me on that cholesterol pill to get more free lunches from the drug salesmen, and how can I have high blood pressure, shit I'm so laid back I can crawl under a snakes belly without even mussing my hair!!" (Good news women, at this point the male ego is pliable, he may be a doubter,...but he's not a gambler. He'll take whatever the doctor tells him to and mutter something like feeling like "a damn guinea pig". Smile inwardly as he still believes he is the first cousin of Superman!)
TV is now something that has become a reverse alarm clock. You turn it on, sit back and "poof" you are snoring (at least that's what she alleges!) But you are now comfortable that you and her are really "mates", she does Suduko stuff, you are trying to calculate in your head exactly how much you got coming when you retire (and it's still in the "if you retire" background as you look at the mortgage payment, the cost of health insurance, a new car now that is almost twice what you paid for your first house almost 30 years ago! Yup, retirement is looking like dim!)
(Guys, beware of the dreaded "Red Hat Society". It's a club kind of thing for women over fifty. I heard one interviewed last week and the host asked her what they did and she said "We shop and we eat lunch out together several days a week" I'm not lying that's what she said!! It's not too late to consider a pre-nuptial agreement is it?)
Oh and yes you are absolutely right. Don't throw out the old clothes they come back around every fifteen years or so, I don't care what SHE says!
Well What's his name married what's her name and there's a little kid who shows up three or four nights a month at the house, calls you Gramp Pa, that we have to "babysit for" while his folks (one of whom, the phase 2 man that supposedly is your son who is going bald, keeps calling you "Dad"!)
"Hey honey, screw it we could both be dead next week, let's take acruise this fall."
"But the savings we've worked so hard to accumulate,, we might need it to be more comfortable in retirement. You know you're 58 now, and 65 comes around quickly."
"Yeah,...I guess you're right. Then let's go out to that new Italian restaurant that just opened for dinner."
"Tom, you know that's going to aggravate your ulcer, all the acid in the tomato sauce, and all."
"Well how about the Chinese place then."
"Same thing, the MSG and the salt, plus a lot of that Chinese food is fried, and Lord only knows what kind of oil or fat they use,... not that they would tell you if you asked."
"Shit, I'm only 57, what the hell happens when I hit 60????"

That will be the next Installment. (Cue the announcer!)

"Will Tom see 60, the Phase 4 of Life - "The Golden Years". And then dear reader, there is Phase 5, that begins at 75 years of age. It's titled from the early morning wake up comment of former "Golden Year Graduates". It's called the "Hot Damn,... I'm still here, ..you awake Honey, period"

The phases of life!

2007-04-14T08:27:00.000-05:00

Thus far a great day, in great measure because of my friend Jezzy and her blog. (See my sidebar for her link) Ok, it's waxing philosophically time here in "the Pit".
Jezzy, you touched a nerve, it's been where I am now that's been putting me in "blue funk" land, and a lot of the time I forget my own credo to "step back, smell the roses, and move up to a higher place in your mind and heart" life is a fleeting thing and he who takes it too seriously gets to the end and says "Is that it? Is That all there is?",....because they missed it as they lived it. I tend to be the most guilty about that, if the truth be known.
Before you finish my this blog, please go read Jezzy's, then come back.

Phase 1 - Carefree, wonderful fun, and unbridled enthusiasm. This is the 16th to 30th years of your life. (1 to 16 were just learning and accumulating "stuff", advise from friends and parents, advise from teachers, advice from coaches, and advise from "best friends".) Into the 15 years of the "carefree period" you begin to experiment with life, focus on anything within your line of sight, and particularly appearing in your mirror. You push to know exactly how many beers can I consume before I pass out (shit, I lost count and don't remeber,..sigh, ..guess I'll have to do it again!)My body just never fails me, by twenty three, or four, not a sign of a "beer belly", and still strong as an ox without a worry of having to "work out". And girls,....well they are out there like so many flowers waiting to be gathered up. Yeah we have to work, but that's only "because", because we need more money for beer, a faster sharper car, a "get-a-way" to the Islands to see what else is out there with my "buds" (mates in Australian talk I think). Now this phase is the foundations of our memories that will accompany us for the remaining years of our journey. It doesn't "end" like a race, it sort of "mutates" beginning around 25 and shuddering it's last breath at about thirty.
Mutation - a change from the original as required, dictated, or evolved in the journey of life

Phase 2 - I'm a responsible adult,..almost! This is where memories of carefree and wonderful become the padding in our lives to keep us moving forward despite reality beginning to intrude. Parenthood, better job, or uncontrolled urge to "go it on my own", the old "bod" not cooperating as well as it used to (three beers and 9p.m. is a must to be "bright eyed and bushy tailed" for tomorrow, and monday through friday "parties" are an absolute no-no.) So what's it going to take to make more and be able to get rid of the old futon and get a real bed, (maybe that's why my back aches!) or how about a little better wardrobe, like maybe more that a drawer full of tee shirts and four pair of jeans, and thoughts like "sure would be nice, I mean really nice to find a real "soul mate" and settle in a bit. I guess girls really are women now and are more muti-functional" that I thought before. Oh and I know I'm not the one with the "biological clock", but it might be nice some times to just hang out with my own kid, you know, throw a baseball, kick a soccer ball, go nutsy on some junk food. (sigh) gee I guess I am getting older.
(FLash forward a couple of years) "Honey, why's the baby crying again I changed his diapers this morning when I woke up and it's only noontime!" And then you sit down to be sure you have enough for you and your wife to take that weekend get-a-way when your sister comes to visit for a week,...."Honey, where did all the money go?" We seem to be paying a hospital full of Doctors all the time. My old dog Herbie never got this many shots and he turned out fine!"
"And how much does the baby eat anyway, the grocery bills have almost doubled"
"I guess we can skip the weekend away and just have the Johnson's over for a cook out, he can bring the beer."
Then phase 2 begins to wane beginning at about 40 or so. "Honey maybe we ought to think about joining a health club or something, you know? I just can't drop this extra ten pounds and my jeans are shrinking or something. Are you using a new laudry detergent or something?"
"Oh and Bob and Mac asked me to go play golf with them Saturday morning, you don't mind do you? I mean you are usually doing your shopping, and Little Bobby has that two day football camp thing this week end, and Laurie and her girl friends are all going to some party at the sorority so she'll be upstairs with the other two giggling and screeching all day with that "stuff" they call music blaring."

Phase 3 - .....

Got to wait til tomorrow for phase three (hint: been there done that, getting the tee shirt in a few more years) and my look ahead into (God I love Star Trek!) "Where no man has gone before." (Cue the orchestra, cue the Orchestra, quick)

Today's brain teaser who used to say "TTFN"? Winner gets a secret report on the final 2008 United States election results,...next week!

-30-

We are all going seriously mad!!

2007-04-09T12:47:00.000-05:00

Get ready for what I call an "old fart post". It's just that the older I get the absolutely daffier this entire world gets!! Help! Where are the Martians when you really need them!
I'm going to number these things so I can get them all done. Obviously it's going to take more than a single "blog" to handle them. Secondly I'm asking for your help as well. I'm sure each and every one of you has things which really "trip your trigger" as well. Comment at the end of this and let me know you're "hot button" and we'll see if I agree or not.
(Oh! Great concept "Hot Buttons" maybe I can design something and we can award them to worthy poster as well as market them on the net!)

#1 - Ok I'm a Christian, a Roman Catholic in fact. My life beliefs include a "God" who does not advocate hurting other human beings. Now my Jewish friends have a "God" who according to thier Bible says basically if they hurt you you can hurt them! (The eye for an eye thing.)Now who the hell are these "whacko's" whose "God" tells them if they ain't with us,..."off 'em"? Now I'm not saying all Muslims are bad, as neither are all anybody else "bad", but what I am saying is simply that it's time to "saddle up" and go find these clowns and do WHATEVER IT TAKES" to rid them from breathing the air of intelligent people. Bigot you say,...NAY says I. I'd blow them away as soon as I'd blow away a whacko Jew, or a whacko Christian! They are not Muslims, Jews, or Christians at all. They are the evangelical branch of the Fundamentally Whacko Church!
Now Hitler made no provision for "good" or "bad" amongst the Jews and Gypsies and non-heterosexuals of the world,...hence he was a certifiable WHACKO. And these dudes are as well. Take off the gloves and let's just do it! Shoot them in the street and leave them to bleed to death, torture and humiliate them where ever and when ever you find them,...anyone with a problem with that? Oh, but what about the innocent ones, I hear form the back of the room. If you're innocent stand up and be counted, rat out a bad guy, show us, (the rest of the world) how really civilized you want to be. Don't say your prayers five times a day and then go home and stash some C4 for your neighbor. Shove it up his ass and air condition his colon for him!!
I keep going back to Winston Churchill who once said "there are only two countries in the Middle East, Egypt and Isreal, ...the rest are all tribes."
Let's just call the old "biggie" in Pakistan and give him two weeks to turn over the local "Whackos" and prove he gave us all of them, or we'll just come in and get them ourselves. How do we tell? Easy We give all the guys a sixpack of Bud, a Playboy magazine, and see who says "No", they are gone! Let's pack Gitmo up to the roof until the whole damn nation of Cuba sinks into the ocean. (Bye Fidel we let you lolly gag around about six decades too long anyway!
Then the whacko Iranians!

Woo! Woo! Woo!

2007-03-31T15:05:00.000-05:00

Damn, I guess I didn't fry as many brain cells as I thought. I finished another greuling meeting this morning (saturday no less) with Engineers, Attorneys, one of my entire Board of Directors, and little ol' me and that went very well. Five months of work building to the creation of a very well deserved lawsuit for $4 Million plus with me basically designing, and executing most of the strategy and plans and after an hour and a half with the Board (neat aside this is the very first time I've laid eyes on two thirds of the Board of Directors!)and they pulled the trigger. All the ducks are in a row, all the "i"'s are dotted, the "t"'s crossed, and we are good to go. I'm looking for at least a $5,000 "Consulting Bonus" on this one. But that was good.
Went out to my office made some notes, checked my mail and all, and heaaded home to relax a bit.
In the mail was this big manila envelope from the Professional Accreditation Group and I wondered what was in that, so I popped it open expecting advertising, but no.....it was my exam results for the correspondance coursse I just completed the test for the 23rd of March! An 88%, I passed!!!! Wooo! Woooo!
So now I've completed enough credits to take the last exam I need to become nationally certified and increase my earning potential by about $10,000 immediately, AND once I pass that test I earn another professional Designation as well from the Accrediting group. Kind of like you Bachelors and Master's in one fell swoop. I have the necessary four years "experiance" required as well.
This leaves me two more courses before I can apply for "The case Study" a one month super grueling "Mission Impossible" sort of Doctorate in this field of Community Association Management. When you apply they give you a couple of choices of places to go, you pick where you want to go, they give you the name of an Association in that area who has agreed to "host " you, and you have 30 days to go in there analyze the entire Association, overhaul it from top to bottom (on paper) create the manuals, policies, rules, necessary document changes, etc. and have to turn in your "thesis" by the 30th day. It is then gone over by a Board of Professionals who are compertely familiar with the property, and you have to defend your "Report" and every comma or paragraph in it until they are satisfied. There is no "re-take" , no "corrections" etc. It's a pass/fail deal and all on your nichel, the travel, the 30 days expenses, everything! You pass you join the ranks of a mere 1600 human beings in this country, you fail,....back to the drawing board and try it all over agoan, if you can afford it!
I think I'll just relax on my laurels for a couple of years before I try that burrito! Having the equivalent of the "Masters" is enough right now, so I'll just concentrate on getting more "wisdom" and starting my own Company. (How else am I going to be able to take a whole month off to do this thing??
Right now it's time for a celebratory couple of pints if Vitamin "G" (Guinness for you non-vitamin lovers :)
-30-

My "Get up and go" done got up and went!

2007-03-26T13:17:00.000-05:00

Got plenty of rest this weekend, got plenty of food, minimized "alcholic libations" (to a degree), went to church, so I should be ready to go back to work today,.....but I'm not.
Maybe I'm enjoying the peace and quiet at the new office too much, or then again maybe I just need more "down time". Who knows, certainly not me. I've got a big conference call this afternoon at 4 p.m. otherwisw I'd wrap it up earlier than usual today and chill out at the Pub. But got to take the phone call!
It all started when I sat down to do budget planning for myself. (It's a well thought out exercise I've been doing for years just before my employment anniversary date.) It's done with the "raise" in mind. Sort of my "personal philosophy of adequate compensation"
I started it years ago when I had my own companies, and it's pretty simple. If you've ever tried to get a job, or change jobs, or otherwise looked to improve your "lot" in life there are multiple factors at play. Everyone of them can be good, or bad for you in both the long and short runs. For example, you really want the job, you are all "gung-ho" about it as a career builder, etc.etc.,...but several months later while you are trying to figure out how to make your paycheck get you a point you can even think about buying meat again it strikes you,..."I'm slowly starving to death at this job!". Or maybe as you are sitting having your evening meal at about 9:30 pm it dawns on you you haven't seen the sun either rise or set in weeks! You're into the office, or whatever, before it comes up, you don't get done 'til after it's set, and you feel totally buried in work.
So why do you do it? Answer is usually a lame one like "Well, what else am I going to do?"
Get off your arse and smell the roses. You are no better than a chunk of meat hanging in the Butchers window. You are worth what the market will bear, or whatever you can be had for. That's the plain and the simple of it.
I've always thought this bullshit is almost a self filling phrophecy. For example, how bloody hard are you going to be ABLE to work when you don't make enough to pay all your bills? Or when you are basically rationing a bottle of peanut butter and a loaf of bread and hoping you make it to payday, or that someone says, "come on, I'll buy"? So what can be done? Exactly what I started practicing years ago.
I never, ever quibble about what an employer offers to pay me,...EVER! I nevere go around the office or whatever whining about making ends meet,...EVER. I tackle every task and project like Hercules on steroids, ....an d never approach the boss for a raise,...EVER! Why because I'm not stupid. I know I'm learning valuable insights as to the business, valuable experiance in handling clients, valuable connections and a reputation in or at whatever it is I am doing. Soooo, who do you hurt if you, my boss or employer, fail to take care of me properly? Why you silly, and your business, because I gave you the opportunity to have me, I gave you the opportunity to watch my work, my reliability, my "output", my ability to work with every range of person on this earth, and you gained HUGE insights as to who I am.
And the bottom line is simply this. If your almighty dollar in your pocket means that much to you, if that little voice in the evil part of your mind says "you got him he's not going anywhere and you can flip him crumbs and he'll be grateful" If this is how you think, you absolutely will lose with me, becasue I'll drop you like a hot rock at a time and choosing of my own, and usually when you least expect it!
When I hired people for my own companies that I owned they would always ask "How much do you pay?" and my answer was always "How much do you want?". While they mulled that over and were wondeering if I was a whacko, or it was a "trick question" and if they answered too high I would just brush them off, I'd proceed to tell them this.

"I'll pay you whatever you want me to pay you within reason, that's fair. So if you want $800 a week, that's what I'll pay you, because that's what you are telling me you are worth, and I'd be stupid not to hire some one that good over a petty thing like salary. BUT I also know what you should be sharing with me for the $800 I'm going to give you. Again the bottom line is sort of a variation on the golden rule, If you tell me you want "X", and I know what I expect you to deliver for that "X" then as long as we both live up to our end of the bargiain all is fair and equal. You can't be pissed at me for "under-paying", and I can't be pissed for you "under-performing". All we have is a simple equation of relative values for both of us to be happy!
Now in the event that you are indeed not deliverying enough to justify what you asked for, PLEASE fully understand that difference must dictate how long I can reasonably be expected to hold up my end of the bargain and deliver you the weekly check,right? If you are delivering $750, or $785 in business I can be alittle more patient than if you are only delivering $300, or $400, or even $500 in business. So all I ask is that you too think like I have to as a businessman and THEN tell me what you want to make. Remember YOU KNOW what you got, and I'm willing to put my money square on your promise to me that you will indeed deliver. But the wider the difference in our joint agreement for your pay versus your work the less time I can keep you here taking money away from my own family. Now is that so hard to understand?
Surprise, folks thought a little harder, and some just flat out knew they were not prepared to work that hard and simply thanked me for my time and left. That's how life should be, a fair days work for a fair days pay, AND a fair days pay for a fair days work.
Think about it. Where are you on the "fair scale",...anmd how about your company?
-30-

I think I killed the golden goose!!

2007-03-25T13:45:00.000-05:00

That's what happens when you don't follow the directions that say "you should back up your template in case you make erros in the new one first"
So I did not, so I said "shit how hard can it be?"
Hopefullly I can summon up enough grey matter to figure this shit out again. (At my age we are into a "set it then forget it" mode. Life is getting too short to try and remember everything!

Stupid people, in stupid times

2007-03-24T10:47:00.000-05:00

Welcome to spring break in Florida! Yesterday we had two drownings, earlier this week some shit-faced kid fell off a three story roof (don't even ask why he was up there!)he did't get hurt because he was so freaking drunk! Proves the old adage "God takes care of drunks and sinners" (maybe I should think about that a little more and stop being a good guy. Naw...then my stupid conscience would just nag the shit out of me, I'd stress big time, get sick and have a heart attack, ....then what?)
It's a Saturday morning and sunny, warm and beautiful, in the mid 70's, so how does my day off start? "ring", "ring", "Hello it's me"(I know who I am, but do you?) Yeah it's me, (the maintainance guy at one of my more prestigious properties) So here's the conversation:
HIM: "ah,..I,..um found some stuff in the hot tub"
ME: " so you thought you'd call me on Saturday morning at 8 am to tell me?"
HIM: "Well...I think there were some improprieties going on here last night,...you know?"
ME: "Like what?"
HIM: "Well,...there was a pair of panties and a used condum in the hot tub."
ME: "Well,...I guess that's a pretty good clue. So why are you calling me?"
HIM: "I guess we'll have to start a security patrol next week."
ME: " Now that's another good thought."
HIM: "Yeah.So what do you want me to do about this "stuff"?"
ME: "So get it out of the hot tub, trash it, drain the hot tub, sanitize it, and refill it."
HIM: "Oh, ok I'll get started on it next."
ME: "No wait a minute, why don't we just leave it where it is, call the newspaper and get them to do a story on it. And don't forget to tell every guest and owner about it, not to mention thier kids."
HIM: (loooong silence) "really?"
ME: (sigh) No not really, just clean it all up and don't go blabbing it all over the place. I was only chidding.....You do understand that, right?"
HIM: "oh sure, I knew that. But do you want me to tell anyone else about it?"
ME: "NO!! Just clean it up and go about your business. Have a good day."

And thus begins my "day off".
Know anyone wanting to be a "Courtesy Patrol" agent for my property. Perverts not allowed.
Well, I'm going to have some coffee and watch the sun rise a little higher in the skys.
Be well.
-30-

Paddy's Day and still alive!

2007-03-18T10:38:00.000-05:00

Bit of a silly title, but there you have it. As a second generation Irish American, and proud of my families heritage, I guess I'm expected to kill large quantities of brain cells on March 17th! DUH! That's amateur night, I let the Scots, the French, the Polish, and the Russians all do that. I go home early, sit back have a few pints and get up feeling fine the next day! (Boring, but you know every cop within a thousand miles is looking to bag Paddy's Day revelers!)
So this morning I'm into severee "crunch mode" a/k/a "cram time". I've got to take this test on this course I've been taking this week and it's the last step in becoming the "professional" in my trade. The last step before putting my own Company together and starting back into the almost better than sex thrill of owning your own business. (No I'm not crazy, you have not lived until you've owned your own business now that is the biggest rush there is aside from the aformentioned sex thing!)
I'll try and describe it for you. First there is no "boss" but you, so the rules, the policy, the system, the entire enchilada is yours. Don't like the hours, just change them!, Don't like the dress code,...change it! Want to make more money than ever before,...go get it! Want a wee wet bar in your office,....feel free! Imagine if it really was "all about you"!
Now don't go running out to open an office just yet,...then there is the other side of it. What do you mean there were no checks in the mail today? (Oops, guess I gotta go out and do something to earn it!) And the nerve of the newly hired Administrative Assisstant asking where her first paycheck was! Guess she didn't know that if the mailbox has no checks we have no payroll,...silly twit, she just needs to have faith. They'll be beating the door down any day now. Maybe in the meantime I'll "squeeze in" a round of golf, my schedule seems pretty open this week.
Now dear reader I presume you're getting the picture. I credit you all with great intelligence on this scenario.
Truth is you work harder than you've ever worked, you work longer than you've ever worked before ("Honey, can you swing by the office and drop me a clean shirt,....and I promise I'll be home before midnight, I promise, I just have a few finishing touches to put on this proposal and have it in the mail dated today.")
Regular meals means you know what time MacDonald's and Burger King both open and close, and peanut butter and crackers are one of the four food groups. (The other three are coffee, bagels, and hot dogs!) But the riush is incredible. The human body and it's bucket full of brain cells is an absolutely marvelous machine. It can flex in almost circles, it can function more continuous hours than in a day on a quick "nap", hunger? What's that, only another six or eight pages then I'll think about eating. Your own business is the world's best diet, I guarantee you will be losing weight big time if you are paying attention to business and making sure that mailbox fills up with checks from your clients and customers so you can feel the rush of signing your first paycheck to an employee. And what about the thrill of just "casually" passing out YOUR busness card with the word "President" orr "Owner" under your name. God life is good.
You will sleep the sleep of the dead, you will not remeber laying your head on the pillow because you closed your eyes first, and that was what seems like only three minutes ago and the alarm is just about to go off in another three more minutes!
Granted owning your own business is wonderful, for some. It can be hell for others, but the bottom line boils it down to only a couple of questions. Here is your test:
1. Where would you draw the line at giving up your time, your social life, and your belief in yourself to succeed?
2. Do you REALLY believe in whatever the business you want to start, and do you have a single doubt that it may not make it?
3. Do you really mind leaving for the two day vacation on Wednesday and being back at the desk on friday?
4. Can you commit to "give up" everything you have to follow a dream,...your dream, whatever it is?

Me I love it, sure some fail, some succeed, some make money and spin it off to you and others suck it in like a giant vacuum cleaner. But at the end of the "journey of life" I can honestly say, "been there, done that, got the tee shirt" There will never be a nagging doubt in the back of my mind that surfaces sometimes and says, "Gee I wonder where I'd be if I had followed that dream or idea I had "back then" !"
Like Mr. Spock used to say, "Live long and prosper"
-30-

Time flies when you are up to your ass in alligators!

2007-03-11T14:00:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks, I didn't realize it's been a couple of weeks since I wrote anything. Bad me! Consider me chastized.
It's been a very, very busy time. The "powers that be" decided to rearrange all the deck chairs on the Titanic a few weeks ago, and until friday at 4:30pm when they made the final changes and sent everyone an e-mail about "who's on first" it's been a circus.
I came out of it pretty good actually. I wound up being able to "dump" a couple of accounts that were just plain train wrecks looking for a place to happen. One of them is perhaps the closest thing I've come to in seriously contemplating a hit man as a solution to maintaining a sense of decorum and order. They are just plain DUMB, and unfortunately too damn DUMB to realize they are DUMB!!! But they are gone, and may all thier toilets get stopped up and may they drown in it!
The second one I dumped is another story. They don't know they are broke and want me to tell them it's not so! DUH! No the place didn't get re-landscaped becasue you don't have the money to pay the landscaper, and no the hot tub is not running because it is a piece of crap that is so far on the road to the happy hunting ground of old hot tubs that even God could not walk across it's water. And by the way did I tell you that your hurricane insurance is going up another 50% this year, and you had a bitch of a time paying last years bill!
The thrid one I lost was a sweetheart, I'm really going to miss them. They would tell me thier concerns, leave me alone, and back me when it came to resolving things. Hell I got them a settlement on some really serious issues and about $80,000 worth of repairs without even threatening to go to court or hire any "big gun" attorneys! (See you can draw more flys with honey than vinegar!) And they appreciated it and told me so, which does wonders for my ego as well.
But on the "flip side"I picked up a few good ones. One is virtually brand new, has over $200,000 "extra" in the bank they didn't know they had, and is a "hot property" (meaning everyone wants a place in there, so regardless of the "soft" real estate market it's still revolving door time in sales at this place. Another one I got was an older property, but as long as it is a clean and well lighted place they are happy as clams.
The last one I got is not even developing yet I think, but I'll have to check that out this week.
It's like the guy juggling the spinning plates like I've told you, but now I have to off load three plates and be sure the new managers are up to speed on them at the same time I have to take on three and keep them spinning. No wonder I'm slleping like the dead for 8 hours a night and working like crazy the other 15!
(Ok, so 8 and 15 don't equal 24, but my deep meditation and divine contemplation period with a pint or two at Buster's is mandatory for sanity!! Or as da' kid frum Brooklyn would sez, "So jews gots some kinda problem wit dat shit, or dues I gutta re-edjewcates you wid a pipe?)
I planned on spending about five or so hours on my business laptop today, but the damn charger is at work and the battery ("bat tree", as my Canadian friends would say" is at the "critically low" stage and all it does is tell me that and shut off!!)
Ok today's open letter of rant and absolute disgust goes to Bill Gates;
Dear Bill,
You can take your "new" "Vista" operating system and shove it! The commercials with Apple and PC and the dude in the dark glasses and suit dont even begin to tell the story! (But I will!)It has to be by far the worst operating system I've seen in thirty years oof playing with 'puters. It's slow, it's about as "intuitive" as a brick, it's not even close to being "fun" or "good". The little hourglass was annoying, but it went back and forth. This new little circle that keeps going round and round is annoying as hell. Maybe they should have made that the logo and a tag line of "Go round and round becasue we don't care!" And the "soft pastels" may sooth a savage beast, but a pissed off user can not be soothed, only totally frustrated.
I just blasted it completely off my personal laptop and went to a real tech and told him just put my XP pro back on and make sure not a single bit, byte, or other piece of shit from "Vista" is left on it.
My opinion and the "story behind the story" I think is perfectly clear, ready for this?
Microsoft made a really great op system in Windows NT, which they marketed toward business so it had to be good, but that was back in the early to mid 90's. It tried to cobble some crap together and called it "Windows '95" and tried to get business to consider it. But it had more bugs in it that a sailor on a two week liberty in a whore house. But the gullible consumer market and the geeks jumped on it. Then they tried again with Windows '98, another disaster. So maybe only one weeks liberty in the whorehouse. Then some idiot got the bright idea to put out Windows 2000, and rename "NT", Windows 2000 Pro. Then they realized they broke away from the numbers game and a lot of people might think that's the last system they ever needed, so guess what "XP" comes along, in two glorius flavors, Home edition or "XP Pro" (which I still believe was "NT" with a new suit!) Then the rumors started that the all new top secret "ultra super dooper colossal" operating system would replace both of them and the whole world would have a thousand years of piece. From where I'm sitting it's worse than putting a new suit on Windows '95 and marketing it as "new and improved".
Feel free to disagree, I really don;t care, becasue I'm going back to XP for the next foreseeable millenium. (Oh by the way the new "Office suite" be real careful if you just "save" a spreadsheet and send it to someone on the "old office suite" they won;t be able to open it. (Gee sounds suspiciously like a plot from the evil empire in Redmond Washington to force everyone to get the new office, since the old version has been so flawless for the past ten years!)
Well Mr. Gates, I hope you are enjoying your untold ga-billions of bucks and the richest man in the world lapel pin, but you'll have to do it without my money from here on out.
Bottom line I think you tried to get rid of the "windows crap, dump the "NT" kernal and base, and develop a "one size fits everyone" and seek the position of "security safe forever",.....ain't happening Bo-bo!
-30-

"Times up,....put down your pencils!"

2007-02-24T12:31:00.000-06:00

Yep! That's what's running through my head today. So off we go to write about it,( and whereever my mind goes during this writing period!)
Ok, I mentioned this correspondance course I've got to have completed and be tested on by the 24th of March. You know the one I've been procrastinating on doing since last September! It's not that it's difficult, or even trying, but it is a redundant testing procedure that bugs me! First I have to pick a proctor (test overseer) from this book they provided with the course. (No problem, there's one about ten miles from the house.) Next I have to notify, er, excuse me, "ask" the proctor if he would be interested in accomodating me and giving me the exam. (Still no problem because these proctors have all reached the pinnicle of my profession accreditation wise and they would no sooner think of giving you a "free ride" than the Doctor who is ok with overlooking your 3 pack a day cigarette habit during your annual physical!) Then I have to fill in the proctors name, address and phone number and mail it back on the appropriate form to the national headquarters of this particular accreditation group. (Again, piece of cake!) Then in ten days, after checking with the proctor that he has agreed and will administer the test, oversee it, make sure I don't cheat, etc.etc. the National place will send him the test directly to his home addresss so I can't even steam it open, or better yet use my X-ray vision on the envelope. (Hmmmm, let's see, I'm into this for $395 for the course, 37 cents for the letter to them telling them who was going to be my proctor, not bad so far!) The proctor tells me when he has the test, I make an appointment within ten days after that and take the test. He then signs hos life away vowing on his first born's life and whatever else is sacred that it was properly administered, he witnessed me take it, he has copies of my driver's licence to accompany this test I completed, and his professional reputation and accreditation will be "pulled" if it ever happens that he lied, I cheated, and/or anything else "improper" occured. (Whew!!! Glad that's all done.)
Now he mails it back to the national office, they grade it, and in about two weeks I get the word by mail, pass or fail, no grade, just pass/fail.(Great, now I know, but now, as Paul Harvey says, "the rest of the story".)
IF I pass this test I then get the privelege of driving about 90 miles to an outside independant testing service and taking another computerized test on the same material! The only good news is that is an "instant grade" and I know within 60 seconds of handing in my "pass card" which allowed me to log on to the computer to take the test in the first place, then my driver's licience picture forwarded to the testing center from the national accreditation center, who got it from the original proctor, and they compare that to my licience by asking me to show it to them after I finish the test and put a "code" into the computer, and "voila" in ten seconds it says "Pass" or "Fail" and they print me a copy at the same time it is electronically sent back to the National Acreditation center!You still with me here? So you think it's over now? Nope!,..read on.
Then I get to fill out a ten page form, have it notarized by my employer, send a copy of my State issued licience for my profession, read and sign off on a four page "Code of Ethics" of my profession, and send it to the National Office. Oh yeah, I forgot the Cashiers Check for two hundred and fifty bucks that "must be enclosed to be considered". THEN in about four weeks I get a congratulations letter authorizing me to put the four little letters of certification after my name. (Oh by the way I get to renew them every other year for on $150, and by the way since I'm getting two professional acreditations double the money!!
The good news is that my Company will pop for $500 for each accreditation I get so all is not lost, and I break even on the "Dollars". But as the National Center always says, "This acreditation will show your professional credentials as certified nationally and increse your earning capacity by at least 50%"
I'm thrilled,....did anyone tell my boss that? Or is groveling and threatening still the best way to get a raise?
In two more years of experiance, two more courses (which I'll have both completed in the next six months) I get to be the "top gun" designation in my field, sort of the Phd. of property management "professionals"
If my timing is right the "Inside a vicious racket" expose I'm writing in my spare time and that designation will both come within the same month! Then we'll see which pays more being a "highly respected, nationally recognized professional" , or the "deep throat" of an industry.
Any bets?
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I am a fundamentally lazy shit!

2007-02-17T09:17:00.000-06:00

Yup, it's true. The "pit" is still in disarray from three or four weeks ago when my wife suggested better "fung shei" or whatever it is. There are still six stereo speakers, two or three recievers (all from different lives of yesteryear.), an old 19" TV(that's going to my new office so I can track (God forbid they hit here!) Hurricanes this year, and other assorted shit I said I'd take care of three weeks ago. (sigh!)
Oh and in the process I found this correspondance course I had signed up for about four months ago that I just got to busy to do (quick call and got the deadline extended to April 1st,...oh shit that's only a couple weeks away!)I did the only practical thing for a procrastinater to do with it. I mailed in the accompanying request for the test and proctor and set the date as March 25th, (that motivates me to "gitter dun!". It's not like I don't want to take it, it means a $500 bonus if I pass it, a bevy of little letters after my name on buiness cards, it ups my annual salary value about $10,000, and makes me a really attractive person to hi-jack away from my company for more money! Looks like the pit will go on hold until I finish this course! Oh and I signed up for another, classroom this time, two course, one in May, and one in August! (Glutton for punishment?) When I found out I could get a $500 bonus for each one I passed from my company, enhanced my earning power by a total of 200% if I get the highest level (total of six courses and a "time in grade" factor of three years),...well shit, at the rate I'm taking them I can have it all and be at the educational pinnicle of my profession and salary potential within 18 more months and pick up a cool three thousand in bonuses along the way! What the hell, call me "getting educated" at 62.
Ooops! that's next week. B-day is the 22nd, and even though I'm eligible for the monthly Social Security payment, I'm going to put it off until I'm 65 so I can get the max rate and have no earning "cap" on what I can make. All I got to hope and pray is that our elite cadre of idiot politicians don't screw it all up for me! But then again if they do,...hell you'll read about me in the headlines and on CNN Headline news, see me walking with the leg irons and handcuffs, watch me sitting passively at the defendants table in my attractive international orange jump suit, for the six weeks of the trial and learn all about how society abused me, and I was a victim of my environment, and all that other happy horse shit! Bottom line? Like everyone else in this country I would then be given a "clean and well lighted palce" as Hemingway once wrote, three square meals a day, access to a library, TV, a defined exercise program, etc. etc., and even if they awarded me the death penalty the average American convicted and given the death penalty, spends about sixteen to eighteen years until it's carried out! What with appeals, all the bennies, free medical, dental, food, shelter etc. Shit by them I'd be in my 80's and propbably ready to discuss the "end game"!
Why is it politicains are such freakin' idiots? And how do I get a piece of that action? Let's talk about somneone who earns respect. Who in Washington D.C. has earned respect? My one candidate for it is Senator McCain of Arizona. Seven years in captivity as a Prisoner of War, a diet of rice and bugs, daily beatings, and just all round shit,...that man deserves respect! What the hell has Barack, Hillary, Mr. Hillary, or most of those other losers on the hill done to earn my respect of them?
Boy, how'ed I get to this rant! Guess it's just a Saturday morning plenty of sleep, some free time today, and the weekly venting process. Sorry kids, I ranteth too much today!
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Peace & Quiet,....aaaaaahh!!

2007-02-14T09:03:00.000-06:00

My first blog from my new office. No furniture, no storage, but me, Mr. Guinness, my brand spanking new 17" Dell laptop, my Blackberry, and "a clean and well lighted place".
My laptop is on an old glass top patio table, my butt in an old patio chair, and the peace and quiet is OUTSTANDING!!!
More later, right now I better do some work!
Mr. Guinness, signing off from my office on the Gulf of Mexico!

So remind me how this "newer and better" blog format is again!

2007-02-10T09:31:00.000-06:00

Only a personal complaint, sorry. When I'm ready to write I just want a one click solution, not four or five screens asking me passwords and user names and google words! Ok , on to the blog today.
I mentioned moving my office and yesterday the company got me a new laptop, holy shit are they getting bigger or what. This one is a brand new Dell 17" screen running the new "vista" operating system. (Super, now I can use the vista that came with my new laptop and upgrade my old laptop and my console unit! Cool!)
Now they just come over and drop this computer on my desk, with the recharger unit, and the "emergency backup O/S CD", plunk there it is have a great day! DUH!! like how am I supposed to drag this thing around with me? No case, nothing. But I was so excited getting it I figured I'd just bop on down to the local Office mega stores and kill an hour or so deciding which case I wanted. (Perhaps the "...rich Corinthian leather" as Ricardo Montelban used to purr for Chrysler cars) Man they had bunches of them and I was like in pig heaven. I did an inital pass of the aisle, glancing at the styles and colors and all. I ruled out the "back pack" models. (Shit can you imagine a 62 year old dude slinging a backpack over his shoulder? Either a broken shoulder, thrown out back, or shattered spine would probably ensue! I'm smiling becasue I can see it! In fact, true story here, about forty years ago when I began working in Boston I had one of those 5" thick leather attache cases that I dragged on the bus, the train, the hike across town, and in and out, every damn day! After about a year or so my back really began bothering me. At twenty something I was really nervous, you know two toddlers, young wife, and possibly some dire prognosis from the Doctor as to my longevity because of some foreign virus thingy! Long story short afteer x-rays, feeling around my back, etc, etc. etc. he tells me he can't find anything wrong. Now that's even scarier, I'm now sure I have contracted some hitherto unknown new nasty thing and will be dead in six months and just be a footnote in some article in ten years in the New England Journal of Medicine! So he gives me a few lame exercises and tells me drop back in on Tuesday morning and let him see if it's any better. "I've got to work Tuesday" I told him, (That was back when a doctor would see you in the evening after working hours) I said ok becasue now I was really getting up tight about it.
So on Tuesday I run by his office on the way to work, he asks me if it's feeling any better, I say NO!, he does one of those "Hmmm"'s I get up to leave and pick up my attache case and he says, "Do you carry that thing around every day?" "Sure" I replied "I do some work on the train and the bus, I need something to put it in." May I see it for a minute", he asks. "Sure" and I stretch my hand out so he can grab it. "God! How much does this weigh?" he asks. I don't know I never weighed it. He takess it over to the scales, weighs it and tapping the attache case he says, "Theres your back pain. Let me guess you carry it only in your left hand, right?" "Yeah, why?" Becasue it weighs over twenty five pounds dummy! Either leave it at home, get rid of the 5" one and get a two inch one, or change jobs,...and come see me next month after you've dumped this anchor for a month! Damned if he wasn't right on!
Now I'm sixty two, getting another "attache case" a/k/a "laptop case", preparing to lug it around, "hmmmm." I guess if my back begins to ache again I won't have to spend money on the Doctor this time, and just get another job, or ask for a raise so I can hire some "neanderthal" from the gym to "carry my shit" around. :)
Well off to the store with the Laptop for a case. So why didn't I buy one yestrday? Because they all had tags saying "fits up to 15.9" laptops" mine has a 17" screen, I came home and tryed my own laptop case to see if it fit, Nope, over an inch too small. Now Don Quioxte goes into battle again seeking to slay the "too small" bags and find one that will work!
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Saturday is the lonliest day of the week

2007-02-03T20:24:00.000-06:00

Very true> Take today, I got up with the intentions of going over to check a jobsite in neighboring Panama City Beach. I figured Saturday, most of the workers will be off and I can poke around and really see what kind of progress they are making. Ah, but alas I turned on my 'puter. I was just going to check the bank balances, but one thing led to another and the next thing you know it's cup #3 of coffee, scrounging around in the mail pile for the W-2's (U.S. Income Tax forms that tell you how much you have to declare for tax purposes.)And before you know it the 8:30 a.m. bank balance check turned into 1pm! But I got them done!! And I am supposed to get a refeund back, but that never happens (I'm still going round and round with them and theysimply keep my mpney and "offset it" against the bogus numbers they think I owe them! I'm tempted to rant about the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) but everyone already knows they are the Devil's own spawn, the personification of evil, and soon enough will learn that we dealt with the same shit in 1776 and won.
But I won't, rant that is. Instead I'll rave on about petty shit. One of my accounts has an old wireless "g" router and an access point that won't even service half the building because of it's range. That was until this morning when my maintenance guy called to tell me the whole thing "crashed" and how he'd go get a new one and set it up. To which I said "NO!" I really get pissed at this guy because he wants to find any reason to do "projects" instead of clean the damn place, which is why he's there! "Well, you know a lot of the residents are going to be upset." "OK, and what's your point? Tell them no internet access until monday or tuesday, tell them you're not in the loop, tell them stick it up thier,...no, on second thought just tell them you'll let some one know and then shut the hell up, no opinions, no comments, no how you could go get anew one and install it, not another god damn word, do you understand me? Are we very clear on this?"
I swear sometimes he breaks things just so he can have a "project" instead of emptying the trash, deodorizing the dumpsters and trash cans, vacuuming the carpets, cleaning out the rest rooms, and that mouth! I'm about a hair's breath away from sending him to another property where he will be eaten alive by angry obnoxious old farts whose goal in life is a 24/7 bitch session!
So I went out this afternoon , researched this wireless technology and wound up with a new wireless "n" router that will go four times the range with 12 times the speed and allow up to 125 simpoultaneous connections. I'll go and learn how to install it tomorrow afternoon before the Super (yawn!) Bowl.
Now that's going to be one hell of a boring game, Chicago and Indianapolis, like who cares aside from folks from those two cities. It's more of a local thing versus the East Coast/ West Coast or North versus South kind of thing. Let me go out on a limb here, but the winning team will be from the Mid-West! DUH! who really cares, except the City of Miami which stands to make all the money.
Anyhow, I am ranting, aren't I? Then there was the matter of,....no forget it for tonight. More tomorrow on the world according to Mr. Guinness
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Hey, I get a new office!!

2007-01-31T07:10:00.000-06:00

This job I have now is the first one I've ever had where I'm in a "cubicle". I really think this is why workers have become mushrooms (i.e. kept in the dark, covered with shit, and supposedly "growing" in the company! Bull shit! In the "olden days" of office workers it was like a big open football field of people, desks etc. Even the file cabinets were somewhere else that you would have to walk to. Nothing was over 30 inches high so you had unlimited vision and could see a lot of things. Now for all the women out there it meant that you knew exactly who was wearing what, etc. And for the guys it meant the little blonde with the great bod could be ooogled "at will". Now all there is is the damn cubicle! If you stand up the only way you can see anyone is if they are over 6 foot tall, or have either very distinctive hair color (God! Why did she use that color on her hair it looks like a rusty fire engine!) Or in the case of guys "Male pattern baldness" or again the distinctive hair styling. (Man if he ever tried to comb that he'd need a stainless steel horse comb!)
But those days are just about over. I'm moving out of the office to some office space in one of my clients buildings. (Lots of perks!! A full gym, and I mean full, a hot tub, a swimming pool, overlooking the Gulf of Mexico from a height of fifty feet, a gated underground parking garage,....I da' man!!) Ok so I get the use of the gym, but not the rest,...but I can dream can't I? Actually the old maintainence man I used to have at that property was an old "biker" and when there was an apartment in the building empty, that's where he'd crash, weekends at the pool, used to bring over a few of his "biker bimbo's" on the weekend and a case of Bud and hang out at the pool. He was a little scarry becasue none of the owners wanted to tell me about it for fear of retribution. When I did find out I let him go immediateely and kept the eye in the back of my head open for a couple of months, changed all the locks and gate codes, you know the usual "Oh shit" reactionary things.
But again I stray. This new office will at least get me out of the Office and the dreaded "cubicle". I guess I'll stick my head in the GM's office and inquire about the new furniture for the office and see what's said. The new office is equi-distant from my home so no big change there. But my paranoid littel organization insists we come pick up our mail at least four times a week so I'll be "popping by" the old office periodically anyway.
Oh and the latest "big brother" toy, I escaped from from it. The company bought all of us managers new telephones. These Motorola "Q"'s. It's a blackberry type "wunderkind" phone. Has a built in camera, calendar, e-mail features, organizer , etc. oh yeah and you can make and recieve calls on it as well! BUT, (ah yes the mandatory "BUT") it has a piece of software that resides on the companies server, and supposedly it "synch's" your phone periodically. In plain English it let's your phone talk to the server, and it talks back. Or is that in another paranoid context, your phone rats you out to Big Brother. "Why did you call Joe-Joe the bookie twelve times this past week end, he's not a client. And what about the followup you said you did, the phone can foind no record of any e-mail activity or telephone calls between you and the client, and while we are at it the built in GPS indicated your phone was at the beach all afternoon Wednesday, I thought you said you were visiting your key clients all Wednesday afternoon?"
But my Blackberry and I remain resolute and independant, and as a sort of "bribe" not to tell my fellow workers of the "Big brother plot" I was allowed to keep my Blackberry and they even offered me a token monthly stipend to offset the costs!
Speaking of which, loyal readers, I just glanced up and I've got eleven minutes to shower, shave, get dressed, get to the office, and be a useful "troll" in the corporate arena for the day! (Looks like I'm going to be "on property" for the next hour or so before appearing live and in color at the office, or as Ed McMahon used to drawl,.."heeeeeeres Mr. Guinness"
Have a great day and don't try and follow me!
:)
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